So yesterday I spoke on the Ms Yvonne Show Podcast about how God has delivered me and broke the chains of a stronghold over my life. Unfortunately, due to time constraints, I wasn’t able to elaborate as much as I wanted to about the situation on the show, so I decided to write about it....
God help me because I really don’t like sharing this kind of information, but I do want to edify the body of Christ. I want you to know that someone cares and understands what it’s like to live and walk as a Christian. We have to face a lot of battles, darkness, enemies, and strongholds over our life in order to grow up in the Lord and that's not always easy. For instance, God is calling me to higher heights, which means that some things, ways and old habits can't come with me. The biggest one of all for me right now is:
DATING FOR THE SAKE OF DATING!!!
Now the girly girl in me loves to date. I love to be wined and dined and shown a good time. I love to see a man happy to be in my presence. I love to be with a man that knows how to take a lady out and plan a good date for her. These are things that I enjoy. Not to mention I love good company and good conversation.
So I considered dating a blessing. But now I’m starting to look at it from a different perspective. I feel like I can't date at this time during my walk with God because I don't like it anymore. It's not good for me and it serves me no purpose unless it's my husband.
This last battle proved that to me. I was seeing someone for a little while and things were going okay for the most part, until I thought it would be cool to “play around” with him. I did not go all the way with him because I’m continuing my celibacy journey, but I definitely took it to the edge. This man was something, you hear me. He had enough to make me throw in the towel and say “God I’ll take this one”.
He was much like Saul I would presume. Tall, built well, fully stocked he looked like a King. He was caring, thoughtful, considerate, and chivalrous. I was like ohhhh weee this is nice! Not to mention I feel like he liked me a whole lot. He even mentioned us getting married and eloping.
How would he know that eloping was something I always wanted to do?
But I love the Lord and I really enjoy studying his word and listening to the prophets. While listening to them one of them said something that stood out, she said “watch out for the counterfeits”. When she said that it really hit home for me. Why? Because God already told me and showed me who my future husband is. But to be honest that was almost 5 years ago. I thought I was going crazy because this man doesn’t even seem remotely interested in me. We haven’t spoken in years and some of his decisions to be honest, I detest.
I started to feel like Sarah. Like God you promised me this Husband, but it’s taking too long. I’m getting older. I don’t see any signs of you working with Him. Like what is going on?!? Should I just step up and pick out my own man? Am I tripping??? Much like Sarah when she just felt too old to have a child and probably like God is taking FOREVER so she decided to help God out by dragging her maid servant into the scenario (you can find that story starting around Genesis 15).
All of that extra stuff that Sarah threw in the mix just added more unnecessary pain, agony, and resentment; which could have been avoided had she just kept the faith. Well much like Sarah, I too was beginning to become “frustrated” on my wait for my husband. So I decided to “date”.
Dating seemed like a good idea until all of the usual problems started to arise. The lies, the deceit, the disappointment and the let down. All the emotions that I really wasn’t in the mood for. I was looking only at the bright side, but forgetting about the dark side. Forgetting that just because I’m dating from a pure heart doesn’t mean someone else is doing the same.
I felt stupid in the end and begged God for mercy and forgiveness. I didn’t leave God, but I decided to lean in closer to Him. God gave me the strength to overcome that disappointment. He helped me to see quickly who I was dealing with, THANK YOU JESUS!!!! Because of that I was able to rise above the negative emotions, the hurt feelings, the back bitting and the attachment to dating in general. I’m not cut out for that. Not unless it’s my husband.
I don’t want to waste my time. I don’t want to defile my body. I don’t want to disappoint my Father. Although dating seems so tempting, I would rather resist. I thank God for breaking the stronghold of dating and desiring men with “big egos” off of my life. I don’t want to go back and live in the world. I don’t want to do it the world’s way.
One thing I’ve learned about being in the world and coming out of it, is that they don’t really tell you or “glamorize” the REAL dark side. They make it seem like being sexually active and having multiple partners is fun and the thing to do, but it’s not.
They don’t tell you the tears that they cry when they’re all alone. They don’t tell you about the mean, hurtful and disrespectful things that people can say. They don’t tell you how people are only encouraging you to do it because misery loves company. They don’t tell you how you can lose a piece of yourself, if not all of you. They don’t tell you about how you can feel drained and empty. They don’t tell you that it only feels good for a moment, but the pain can linger a lot longer. It’s not as fun as society makes it seems. It’s deeper than that.
You have to guard your heart and your temple (your body) until you meet a spouse that is worthy enough to receive all of the good love that you have to give. Not having sex before marriage and focusing on the things above and not below is the true way to go. It’s for our own good and trust me when I say that it will save you a lot of pain and agony.
Hold on to God’s unchanging hand as you fight the good fight of faith. Don’t be scared to make a mistake. Don’t be afraid to slip and bump your head sometimes. But rather be grateful that we have a merciful, loving and forgiving Father who understands and is always ready to welcome us back into his loving arms. He is a Good Good Father and He can make your crooked ways straight (Isaiah 45:2 NKJV). He will lead you beside still waters (Psalms 23:2) and renew a right spirit within you (Psalms 51:10).
It’s okay to mess up. It’s okay to admit that you were wrong. It’s okay to hit rock bottom. It’s also okay to start over, to hit the reset button, and to turn from your old ways. See a lot of times we try to fix ourselves in our own power, but that’s what God is there for. He will be your strength even when you are weak. Just talk to him, honestly.
Keeping it real with Him will be one of the most beneficial life changing blessings that you could ever ask for. Why? Because God knows how to lift the weight of burdens off of your shoulders. God has a way of granting you peace in the middle of a storm. God has a way of fighting for you even when you miss the mark, He’s got your back. He’s loyal, faithful, understanding, a good listener and a great defender.
When it comes to walking with the Lord, if you slip or fall just remember to get back up again, for there is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1 NLT). So I encourage you to do as I did when I slipped and that is to run back to your father, repent, and make up in your mind that if you ever fall again, that it won’t be for the same reason. That is what we call growth :)
Congratulations Child of God you’re growing up!!! Quite nicely if I must say so myself :) I wish you much peace and many many blessings along your walk and journey with God. May you live long and prosper. One Love!
