#mull deep

[christelballz]

Kindness – Adam Bainbridge doing his Red Bull Music Academy Lecture in Paris 2015 THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.

[christelballz]

“The caterpillar is a prisoner to the streets that conceived it Its only job is to eat or consume everything around it, in order to protect itself from this mad city While consuming its environment the caterpillar begins to notice ways to survive One thing it noticed is how much the world shuns him, but praises the butterfly The butterfly represents the talent, the thoughtfulness, and the beauty within the caterpillar But having a harsh outlook on life the caterpillar sees the butterfly as weak and figures out a way to pimp it to his own benefits Already surrounded by this mad city the caterpillar goes to work on the cocoon which institutionalizes him He can no longer see past his own thoughts He’s trapped When trapped inside these walls certain ideas take roots, such as going home, and bringing back new concepts to this mad city The result? Wings begin to emerge, breaking the cycle of feeling stagnant Finally free, the butterfly sheds light on situations that the caterpillar never considered, ending the internal struggle Although the butterfly and caterpillar are completely different, they are one and the same."  – Mortal Man outro by Kendrick Lamar

[christelballz]

"...completing a human transaction is the best way they can invest their time."

How Different Cultures Understand Time by Richard Lewis for Business insider

Surprise surprise, I see, use and respect Time as half Latin, half Asian and with a nod to the pressure of how Westerners/Northerners view it.

[christelballz]

"...it’s important to remember that the idea of civilization wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for the fact that *we have baser instincts that we need to rise above*."

Yes, All Men: Every Man Needs to Understand Internalized Misogyny and Male Violence by Tom Hawking for Flavorwire

[christelballz]

What you KNOW influences what you SEE.

http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2014/05/10-things-you-cant-unsee-and-what-that-says-about-your-brain/361335/

I feel like there's somehow something in that ^^ for the kid who wrote the white/rich/kid privilege piece that TIME ran that's doing the rounds.

There is a privilege for lots of things; depending on what you do/don't have in a context. Some privileges can be harder to see than others for many different reasons. Some of course, are more obvious, like those overwhelmingly obvious and powerful white/male/rich privileges.

The more obLivious or blind you are to your own privileges is an indication of how high you might sit on the privilege pyramid. And depending on what you do or don't have determines what you will or won't see as privileges in other people. 

And it's not about apologising for your circumstance of birth, or degrading the merit of a person's achievements (or whatever) in context of their privileged situation; it's just the realisation and acknowledgement of how much is available and open to a person as a result of it. 

It's KNOWING your haves and SEEING other peoples' have-nots.

[christelballz]

You know like, when you have those moments when you realise the world is at your feet? Like, it's literally underneath you, so WALK IT LIKE A RUNWAY and HIT YOUR POSES.

[christelballz]

When I lived in London, on my birthday each year I'd hop on the Circle Line and do a full loop of it. I guess it was something I did, quietly, just by myself, to mark another year of my stupid crazy life at the time. It just seemed sorta fitting too, I guess, that life felt like that fucking endless Circle Line at peak hour; with all these people coming in and out of the carriage day after day, and me sitting there in all the glory of the pop stage of my baby goth phase, listening to Brodinski's Drive By mix on my iPod. The beauty of the Circle Line is that you never go backwards, but ultimately, you always end up getting off at the same damn stop. LYF, AYE.

[christelballz]

I have many feelings and thoughts about this trip, but I just put my finger on why I'm apprehensive in particular about going back to the (Third World) Motherland - in a nutshell:

I'm afraid that, because I haven't been back since my family emigrated my ass out of there and into the First World, I won't be allowed to enjoy it like the tourist I will actually be when I return. Whether this is true or not is another story, but the pressure from a culture and family I've never known is already pushing up on me, resisted with the full weight of a very first world upbringing; along with all the might of a modern, privileged (albeit grateful and hustling), and No Fuqs attitude. Plus I'm tanned really dark right now - and we all know what meaning Asians attach to darker skin; particularly Asian grandmothers (mine), and um, actually like, a chunky ass slice of society in general. Socio-racia-nomics.