#mullet tim

[lesbiansonboats]

Jon sees Tim’s mullet the day he gets back to work and manages to avoid the scene where Melanie yells at him cause he’s too busy asking about the Fucking Mullet.

[lesbiansonboats]

In the mullet Tim au after Melanie gets the bullet dig out of her leg she begins a running game of attaching paperclips to Tim’s hair and waiting for him to notice. When Jon gets Daisy out of the buried she’s brought in on it; their record is 30 and Tim only noticed cause he went to out his head down and heard all the clips smack down on his desk.

[lesbiansonboats]

Jon eventually gives up on asking Tim questions about the Mullet and moves on to hair related gifts.

Jon *texting Martin despite still being on delivered*: do you think Tim would enjoy clips for his mullet?

Later

Tim: *finds a package of those plastic butterfly hair clips on his desk*

He doesn’t throw them away and Jon takes this as a sign to continue.

[lesbiansonboats]

Things you need to know about Mullet Tim:

Tim was also in a coma after the season 3 ending but his was considerably shorter than Jon’s

It’s not a cool punk Mullet it’s one of those terrible hick mullets

He cuts it himself to avoid people

He and Melanie have a sort of agreement where they don’t talk about the tragedies of their lives

Basira hates the mullet but has decided it’s not worth her time to deal with and ignores it

Martin is off doing Lonely Business and hasn’t actually seen the mullet, he doesn’t have everyone’s numbers blocked he’s just pointedly not opening the messages

Jon has entered his determined to protect people tm era and isn’t stating that he dislikes the mullet to avoid upsetting Tim

The Mullet itself causes a lot of double-takes and forced politeness

[lesbiansonboats]

It’s Mullet time.

It’s still Melanie that finds Jon trying to cut his fingers off and leads him to Jared to get a rib, Tim doesn’t see him before he goes into the coffin. He comes into Jon’s office to steal pens and finds Martin piling tape recorders on coffin.

Tim: ….Martin….?

Martin *internally*: holy shit he actually grew a mullet

Tim: Glad to see you still know your way down here

Martin: Tim I-

Tim *snaps*: save it.

*Palpable silence*

Martin: *looks at coffin*

Tim: he’ll be fine *turns to leave* he always is

[lesbiansonboats]

Mullet Tim au: Martin is still off doing his lonely foolishness with Peter so he doesn’t actually know that Tim has grown a Fucking Mullet. Jon is actively texting him archival updates despite being left on delivered for weeks at a time.

[lesbiansonboats]

Mullet Tim au: Basira is still at the archives, she’s basically the same and she’s openly ignoring the mullet situation. Tim and Melanie try to get her to acknowledge it and she goes to somewhat great lengths to ignore them.

[lesbiansonboats]

Season 4 au where Tim lives and during the 6 months when Jon’s in his coma he grows out a mullet.