“When you fight I always take the fall. When is that going to click for you, Steve?”
Steve's mouth opened. And then closed without a word leaving his lips. He'd always blamed himself for what had happened to Bucky but he'd always reassured him that it wasn't. Now, James was finally the one to say it. To put that blame on him where it so rightfully deserved. What Steve could have never imagined was how terrible it would feel.
He was transported back to that day, decades prior to when they were teenagers. Steve had gotten in a particularly nasty fight that ended up with Bucky being knocked out cold trying to defend him. One might think that it was Bucky's choice to get involved but that night, Sarah had taught him - maybe intentionally, maybe not - that it would always be Steve's fault because Bucky would always fight next to him. So he needed to stop getting into fights because Bucky was going to get hurt. He cried that night because he knew it was true.
But this was even worse than that. James had put it in his head that it wasn't his fault and now all of that reassurance had been ripped away like a bandage covering a bleeding wound.
Bucky never wanted to fight but that was all ever Steve knew and Steve would always fight. Bucky would always follow and Steve knew that. Despite it all, Steve would go against his best friend's wishes to fulfill his own desires and Bucky was right. He was always the one to take the fall. He was always the one to get hurt. He was always the one who suffered.
It was his fault. It had always been his fault. Almost every single thing that had happened to Bucky was his fault and it hit him like a freight train. Very rarely did Steve cry but his eyes brimmed with tears as he looked at him. He swallowed hard.
He clenched his jaw as he slid his shield into place on his back, turning around and headed out the door. He didn't expect Bucky to follow. But he knew he would.