#mumthoughts

[ani2021]

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Thursday thoughts #thursdaythoughts #mumthoughts #momthoughts #momlife #mumlife #thursday #thursdaymotivation

[babyslumber]

Regression

Feeling a little sheepish over my last post ‘Evolving’. Recently I had the chance to look after my two nephews plus my son for an afternoon. My nephews are aged 7, 4 and my son is 14 months. To put it politely,  it was a s*it show. The eldest couldn’t stop arguing with his brother, all three were constantly wrestling on the ground and I had to umpire their boyish inability to know their own strength. I was exhausted and it was only for a few hours.

I definitely began to question my ability to have even a second. I mean these kids want your soul, your undivided attention. Although it’s meant to be a team effort with your husband we all know for the most part the onus is on the woman to do most if not all of the child rearing. So with that being said, how the hell am I going to do it?

I’m stuck in limbo. I want my son to have a sibling so he can have someone to love when we depart this earth BUT I don’t want to be pregnant, spend a year of my life not sleeping and feel the weight of it all on my marriage. I’m at a stage where my son is 14 months, I’m getting my life back. Everything is getting easier, I could possibly get a job or build a business BUT what’s the point if I’m going to be pregnant in a few months.

I’m going to wait. Time is good. When Dash is out of diapers perhaps I will actually want another baby. Perhaps this is a feeling that grows whereas for now it’s a definite nooooooooooo.

[bundleofhumble]

Going slightly insane tonight. Its 11:30pm and we have had 6 wake ups. I seriously don't get it, he slept through last night! I will admit I struggled to keep my cool but we got there in the end and he is asleep again for now. Every now and again I catch myself daydreaming about having another baby and just today on the drive home I was going through the top baby names I love and think Ive totally got this... then we have nights like this and all I can think is no way could I manage 2 right now. One day little man one day. Seriously how do you mummas with 2 cope? especially in the early days. Even the thought of being pregnant and running around after a 2 year old freaks me out! Cost is also a huge worry, i worked out that childcare for 2 kids 3 times a week is $1,200 a month!!! How could anyone actually afford that?? ... Its late and im sure im just iver thinking things. Night all xox