Fanfic request: Munched taking Sweet and Cakes out for a romantic date to the gym
I’m fcking bawling my eyes out omfg
This is my masterpiece. When I die I want this in newspapers worldwide.
Title: You Lift Me Up
Words: 1,048
Disclaimer: [Shitpost Fic, Don’t take any of it too seriously. Purely meant for absurdity laughs. Somewhat of an inside joke(?) but I think this is hilarious to anyone who wants to read it].
Ever since Cap’n started hitting the gym… he really changed. In more ways than one. Sweet wasn’t sure how he had gotten taller by working out. However, he stood even taller than K_K now.
And his muscles were like– holy shit.
How did he walk through doors now?
The answer was he didn’t. He walked straight through the walls like a bulldozer. The trio was always strapped for cash with all the repairs they had to pay for.
He even started going by a new name: Munched. The reason? Who knows. He refused to tell them why he had chosen that name. He said it was personal to his journey as a ‘gymrat’. Whatever that means.
But, perhaps, today would be the day that they found out.
Munched insisted they go with him to a romantic date night at the gym. They weren’t sure how ‘romantic’ and ‘gym’ worked in a sentence together, but they wouldn’t refuse. So, the two followed inside once Munched walked straight through the wall, leaving a Munched-shaped hole.
“The door was big enough this time! You don’t have to just walk through the wall!” Sweet cried in frustration. “We’re gonna go bankrupt if this keeps up!”
K_K patted his partner’s shoulders. “There’s nothing left we can do, Sweetie. There, there~”
Munched turned to face the other two. “Ready for our date?”
Sweet sniffed, “I don’t even know anymore.”
“Great! You’ll go on the treadmill first.” He plucked Sweet up by their head. “Your legs are so puny, you need to work on your strength and endurance!” He turned to K_K. “And you can help me with weight lifting.”
“Oh, no~ I’m okay, really~ I’ll just watch–” but K_K was already slung onto a weight bench. They blinked, confused about how they had gotten there so fast. They ultimately decided not to question it. It was probably better that way.
“Let’s pump some iron!” Munched beamed.
“Can’t we pump some jams instead~?” K_K smiled, unsure.
Munched, of course, ignored this and added weights to each side of the bar hanging above K_K’s torso. “Think you can bench press 200lbs?” He looked at K_K’s scrawny arms. “Hm… let’s make it 80lbs for your first one.” Once set up, Munched stood behind K_K’s head, his hands below the bar. “Don’t worry, I got you! I won’t let it fall,” he winked.
K_K had once wanted to be smaller than Munched. He had once longed to have his partners be tall enough to hold him for a change. This was not the same. He had to squeeze his eyes tight to avoid looking at him now. It was far too uncanny.
Taking a breath, K_K lifted to bar only for it to immediately be too much weight and come nearly crashing down on its frame.
Munched stopped it just as it had been about to reach its chest. “80lbs too much? C’mon, now. You got this!”
K_K severely doubted that. Still, the enthusiasm was helpful. It had given them the chance to do one full set of ten before completely giving up. They refused to do another.
Meanwhile, Sweet had taken advantage of being away from Munched gaze. He sat on the treadmill, playing on his phone. That is until a shadow engulfed him and a hand ripped the phone from his hand.
A dark expression covered Munched face. “No distractions from leg day.” He crumbled the device in one hand. Then, as if nothing happened, he stood Sweet back up on the treadmill. “Let’s do it together!” he smiled.
If Sweet had the lips to do so, he’d be frowning.
“I don’t wanna…” he cried out. Mostly just in a whining tone, but there was a hint of genuine sadness.
“Why not? You’re not having fun?” Munched replied, teasing.
“No!” Sweet jumped off the treadmill. “How was this supposed to be romantic?” they asked. “K_K looks like their arms could fall off and I don’t like running!”
“Oh…” Munched’s shoulders dropped. “I had thought that we could all do something I enjoy together. Like… this is sorta my happy place and I wanted to share that with you guys.”
Guilt hit Sweet harder than he thought it would.
“But… if you aren’t having fun… we can leave–”
“Wait,” Sweet placed a hand on his wrist. “I think… there might be one way we can still have fun.”
____________________
“That’s 567!” K_K beamed from the top of the weight bar.
“And we ran out of weights to put on the bar…” Sweet replied as they looked down at the now weight-less gym.
The two sat on top of the weight bar as Munched continued to bench press. He wasn’t even breaking a sweat. In fact, it looked like the bar was closer to breaking than he was.
“Are you sure you guys are having fun?” He asked as he brought the bar down.
“Yep~!” K_K smiled and placed a quick kiss on his cheek before ascending.
Sweet looked rather proud of his idea. “I told you guys this would work. K_K and I get to relax and we get to spend time together at Munched’s favorite place.”
“It’s like a tiny rollercoaster~”
“Yes, it is, K_K. Yes, it is.”
The vaporwave sky from outside shined down on the trio through the Munched-shaped hole in the wall. Sweet and K_K leaned against each other as Munched bench pressed them and, I have to reiterate this, every single weight in the gym. If this was anywhere else, the outside would be a glorious sunset, shining on them. It was almost too perfect an ending.
So, it won’t end there.
No, it ends with the three being fined nearly $3,000 for the wall to be remade. Also, for damages Munched caused by dropping every. single. weight. in the gym. when he had been done bench pressing. When he had done that, it left two massive craters in the gym. And sure, it was cute that it sorta looked like a heart from the right angle. But heart-shaped craters didn’t fix holes in the walls.
Still, despite all that. Sweet and K_K couldn’t deny their love for him. Whether short and scrawny, or tall and buff, they simply couldn’t go without him. He’d left his own Munched-shaped hole in their hearts.
