#mundepression

[poppyknitt]

... i wanna hug someone

... but i know it won’t do shit for me

hugs don’t work anymore

[poppyknitt]

I experience the 5 stages of grief on a regular basis and i think i may have a few existential problems

[poppyknitt]

ok yeah, i’ll admit it,

depression is horrible and all,

but

have you ever considered that

in terms of psychological damage

it’s a damn good defense mechanism

so long as you know how to use it to be a rebellious fucking asshole

[poppyknitt]

aaaannnndddd now it’s just going playing that one weird “guess whose back, back again” song in the background as it says “hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, (...)” over and over again

yknow i don’t miss the chaos that is my brain on depression

i really could do without this

[poppyknitt]

ah yes now i remember why i used to say i don’t remember what it’s like to be happy

Cuz when i get depressed, the things I normally enjoy only make it worse

[poppyknitt]

Had 73 last night and you know what?

I’m sick of beating myself up over trivial shit, so I’m just gonna say this-

Fuck whoever unfollowed me.

If you can’t fucking handle me at my worst, you don’t fucking deserve to see me at my damned best.

If you unfollowed me to make me feel shitty, then congrats, you fucked up! I’m glad this has shown me who was actually supporting me as a creator and who was just here for the content, but could care less about me.

And if that’s not the case, and they just unfollowed because, even though they cared, they just didn’t wanna have my stupid, depressive bullshit making them feel that way, then I apologize for being a salty bastard, especially because i’m always either a super salty, super depressed, or emotionally ambiguous dumbass/asshole-

(wait, does that last comment qualify as self-hate? I wasn’t intending for it to, i’m just trying to be honest with myself-)

[poppyknitt]

i my mom weren’t home i would definitely cry myself to sleep just to see if it would help anything. (Especially seeing as this is one of those rare depression days where i actually can cry for once-)

[poppyknitt]

pardon me while i go test and see if chanting discourse on the discord in my brain will help calm the suicidal/depressive half of my brain down =)))