I’m going to start by saying that I’m an American citizen of 15 years, and I’m vacationing in Germany right now. My mother and I left our resident where my family is staying, and went walking around to shop and eat and just take in the sights.
We were walking around when we first heard about the shooting a while away from us. We weren’t worried. It’s amazing, how you never think that anything could happen to you. You’re the protagonist of your story, why would YOU or anyone you care about be killed? And although nothing ended up happening to us, it could have, and it happened to so many innocents.
We had just walked into the Hard Rock Cafe to eat. We were enjoying ourselves, waiting in line to get a shirt. All of a sudden a few people slammed into the restaurant, panicked and unthinking of the people around them. All at once there was screaming and crying and everyone broke into a panic. All I could think was: is the shooter here? Is there another? Are we going to die?
It was terrible, seeing the life you lived flashing before your eyes. My mother and I scrambled to the other side of the room. But then the people ran circles and came over to us, so I ran. And when I turned around my mother was gone. And all I could think was: did I just leave my mother to die alone? Will I ever see her again???? And I stood there, waiting and hoping for her to come around the corner.
The separation lasted only seconds, but in those moments it lasted forever. All I wanted was my mother back. And when I saw her I started crying. And then we ran to a door and started pulling and pushing, but we were locked in. And then we crouched behind a sign, and I cried because my mother couldn’t fit behind, and if anyone came by they would see her, and she could die. I clung to her, crying and trembling and she just stroked my hair and held me. Everyone was screaming in German, and we didn’t know what was going on. All we knew was that someone ran into the restaurant, and there had been a shooting nearby.
A women across from us ran into a room, people trailing behind her. And she locked herself in there, leaving everyone out. There were families and people left outside terrified and left for dead.
It’s terrible when you are forced to understand the human condition by witnessing the survival instinct of everyone around you. When terror descends, it’s every man for themselves. Eventually an employee opened the door and we sprinted for it as well as everyone near us. There we sat in a cramped storage closet, no one knew what was happening. And almost everyone was crying. Eventually we were moved upstairs and given water, and then we were moved to the hotel nearby and this is where I am now, writing this story.
Nothing happened to us, it was just panicked people. But in those moments I felt absolute terror, and a terrible nausea.
I have now been forced to realize truly and utterly what many people feel around the world daily. And I understand that I’ll never TRULY feel what they have been forced to. But now I have a better understanding.
I went on social media to see if I could see what was going on once we were safe. And I saw Donald Trump supporters screaming about Radical Islamic Terror, and in my panicked state I STILL was mad enough at that to forget for a moment my earlier terror. This act, at the time had no information on it other then where it was and that the shooters ran. One of them shouted about being born in Germany, as a German citizen and about how he was angry about foreigners.
Blaming Muslims for this attack is petty, and childish. Even if Muslim radicals were responsible, we don’t truly know yet, you can’t blame an entire religious group for every dehumanizing act in this world. Using this moment for a campaign statement is the fastest way to turn a truly terrible, and life-changing event into a single moment that is just another example as to why people should be even more angry and terrible to one another. With statements like that you erase every emotion, every loss, and every innocent life ruined by the event.
Don’t blame innocents for the transgression of others. This isn’t the fault of innocents who just want to escape the everyday hell of religious war in their countries. This is the fault of humanity’s hatred for others.
I pray for all those who lost loved ones in the shooting, and all the lives ruined just by being in proximity to such an event, even though I’m not exactly religious myself.
Keep loving the world, and fighting for the innocents who are made victims by others just for existing.
