It's fascinating how anger simmers, coiling tight and soundless beneath the water like a ribbon of ink in still water. He often doesn't even realize it is there until it taints the water.
The water is stained a little every time he sees Patroculus. The way he behaves, perfectly reposed and controlled, unlike Jade who contents himself by clenched fists, the restraint he's so proud of barely there.
It's not often that Jade loses control. Sometimes, the ugliness seeps through his cracked facades. His usually cleverly veiled threats comes out a little too transparent, like now. "You make me want to hurt you, sometimes." He mutters as Patroculus casts him a look — something Jade doesn't quite know how to decipher, and doubts that he ever will. "The methods doesn't matter, as long as it makes you hate me enough so you'll leave. But if Floyd were to know, he'll think it's all on me." And the last thing he wants to do is do something that would make Floyd hate him. Jade knows just how much Floyd considers Patroculus a friend, someone Floyd would've put his life on the line for if he hadn't went ahead first. So he couldn't do anything to Patroculus. He thinks bitterly.
But if he really puts his mind to it, he knew just how daring he could be. Floyd would've known just how messed up Jade could be, if he wanted to. He might've take down Lazarus all alone if he was given the time and resources to orchestrate a plan.
If only the cost wasn't to trade the peace for it to happen.
His eyes had that look again. He knows. That look when he schemes for the apocalypse. Patroculus might known him well enough to tell, or perhaps not. [ Patroculus ]
Jade is elusive and impossible to read, someone who will do anything to get what they want, no matter the cost, even if that cost is their peers' lives and worse. That was the impression Patroclus had of Jade, one that slowly developed over the years, despite wanting to see the good in them. He had tried, alright? He had really tried, but it was impossible to feign ignorance when it was easy to see past those hollow smiles and manipulative words. They never got along, but, he never said anything that would make Floyd upset, because he knew that, no matter what he said, Floyd would never leave his brother's side. So why try to insist for something that would only push his friend away and make them more upset? The best thing he could do was wait and offer a hand when all inevitably fell apart. That had been the plan.
But, perhaps he should have said something. Perhaps, things would have been different now if he hadn't been too thoughtful and chosen to remain quiet for his friend's sake. But there was no point in lingering in the past. He can't undo the mistakes of the past, only deal with the consequences of the present.
In these past months, his opinion on Jade hasn't changed much, but, perhaps because they spend more time together now or because he pays more attention to them now (or because they aren't that good at hiding anymore), he doesn't find them impossible to read anymore. It became 'predictable' in a way, how Jade would react, specially when... "..." It wasn't intentional, it truly wasn't intentional, but he couldn't help it at times, and it slipped, the way light eyes looked pained when they stared at the face of a friend he'll never see again, the undeserving empathy he feels for the twin that remained. He knew they didn't want his pity, help or friendship. And he knew that his mere presence was an eyesore, another reminder of how their selfishness ended in the death of their sibling.
For someone who cared little for others, Jade had a frightening ability to notice the smallest changes in one's expression. And before he can think of an excuse or apology, vitriol and poison fell from Jade's mouth, each word bathed in barely restrained anger, threats that couldn't be taken lightly. "..." If Patroclus was a more emotional man. No, if he was his younger self, the child who let his emotions get the best of him, he wouldn't hesitate to speak his mind, as well.
'The feeling is mutual.' 'You don't get to complain.' 'He wouldn't be wrong in that assumption.' 'You don't want me as an enemy, Jade.'
It was the first time he saw the threads that held together Jade's facade so exposed, ready to burst. It would be... fairly easy to say the wrong thing, ignore the warnings and let Jade slip and make the mask crack. He would have an advantage then, as people who are running high on emotions aren't the most sound and logical. But he didn't say anything like that. He wasn't looking for a fight, nor trying to make Jade hate him even more. Instead, he said something baffling, but true. "That's the first time I hear you say Floyd's name after his death." It had been obvious, how they acted as if 'nothing' happened, yet couldn't stare at their own reflection for longer than a second. What they've been doing until now... it was obvious.
After a pause, Patroclus stood up and said: "Let's have this conversation another day. I have overstayed my welcome." And just like that, he was leaving Jade to their own thoughts and anger, choosing to leave not to abandon them, but because he knew he would only make things worse if he stayed.
@muraenide
