remember that time when in the first season of Sam & Max games when Hugh Bliss took all the “sinful” parts of Max and made them into separate entities?
well, I thought “well Hey, Max can be a pretty sexual being, what if he got that part made into a separate thing?”
so that lead me to Lustful Ear Max (look I’m not drawing a penis so you get an ear)
Dirt flies over a small dirt hill. More dirt flies on top making it ever taller. SAMANTHA digs with a shovel a hole in the desert. More of a grave than a hole. She digs into the side of the four-foot grave, knocking some dirt loose.
Samantha wears the most pastel coloring of a female Indiana Jones cosplay ever seen.
Samantha
He said he wanted five grand for his shitty piece of car. I told him no way, two grand at most. It’s not like we need it longer then a few days so why pay for so much.
She looks up to the shitty piece of car in question. A 1977 Ford Pinto Cruising Wagon. DANIELLE sits on the hood, dresses to the 9s like some emo Carmilla reject. She takes another bite of a Twizzlers stick, nodding, listening along to Samantha’s story.
Samantha
He told me that the expense was for he called, “Gerry’s insurance”. In case he says. So I asked him in what cases? You know for examples?
Samantha digs the shovel into ground and climbs out of the hole. She dusts herself off.
Samantha
So he just rattles off the most ridiculous stories possible. Oh sure he started small with like a new tire needed and it ended with like an orgy of a car accident, ten car pile up, car’s on fire, he talked for thirty minutes. Imagine that someone who just talks on and on and doesn’t stop.
Danielle bites her Twizzlers stick and gives Samantha a knowing look. Samantha rolls her eyes, she heard this all before.
Samantha
Well, it’s your turn now. We got like another foot or two to dig.
Danielle gets her off ass off the car, sticks the rest of the Twizzlers into her mouth and jumps into the hole.
Samantha HUFFS and takes Danielle original seat on the car. She roots around into the Twizzler’s bag before taken none and just watches Danielle dig.
Samantha
You know after this we should get something to eat. Just you and me. Find some diner or something. I think we past one over down the road. You know
stop there, get a bite to eat, a milkshake - (mumbles) with one straw.
Danielle stops digging. Samantha blushes - did she hear that last part - when LOUD KNOCKING comes from the interior of the car.
Samantha knocks back on the hood of the car.
Samantha
SHUT UP IN THERE.
(To Danielle)
Don’t worry about her. It will all be over with soon enough.
Danielle resumes digging. The KNOCKING continues. It happens in a rhyme.
KNOCK.
KNOCK KNOCK.
KNOCK.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
Over again on repeat.
Samantha rubs her head, feeling a headache coming on, she KNOCKs back on the hood of the car.
Samantha
SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
The knocks stop. Danielle just looks at Samantha shocked. Samantha stands and smooth out her outfit.
Samantha
I guess the drugs wore off. Let me go check on our guest.
Danielle nods, looks away from Samantha and resumes digging. Big clumps of dirt fly onto the already existing pile.
Samantha makes a slight frown. She goes to the truck of the car and opens. Inside is a YOUNG WOMAN wrapped in a blue blanket and bounded by rope. The only thing remotely free is her face and her hands, whose wrists are bound together.
Young Woman
Oh hi, did my knocking tick you off? Maybe I should knock some more.
The Young Woman goes to knock on the side panel of the car when Samantha catches the hand. The Young Woman eyes Samantha. Samantha doesn’t loosen her grip.
Samantha
Enough of the now. The hole is almost dug and you will be gone soon enough, so none of this noise. Some of us are trying to -
Samantha catches herself. The Young Woman pulls back her hand.
Young Woman
First gross. Second why don’t you just set me free. I am worth more alive than dead.
Samantha
Everyone says that. Be quiet or I will knock you out.
Young Woman
I mean it.
Samantha rolls her eyes and starts to close the truck door when -
Young Woman
I can help you gain entry into the Murder Max.
This catches Samantha’s attention. She lingers, looking at the Young Woman as she hold all the secrets in the world.
BEAT.
She shuts the truck door down fast, turning around she smacks into Danielle who stands there with the shovel.
Samantha
Danny! Didn’t see you there. How - how long were you there?
Silence. Unnatural silence.
Danielle
The Murder Max.
Danielle smiles gleefully for the first time today.
Danielle
Fuck Logan. We got to do it.
Danielle looks at Samantha with eyes aflame.
CUT TO:
EXT. ROAD - DAY
Danielle drives with both Samantha and the Young Woman in the first seat. Samantha seats on the passenger seat side, looks mournfully out the window. The Young Woman still bounded by rope, but blanket-less rattles off to Danielle directions. Danielle takes another bite of a Twizzlers stick as she drives full speed to their new destination.
