#murderbot episodes

[securityunit-ese]

Finally some catharsis before the next load of trauma/afercare.

Season 1 episode 9 thoughts below the cut because spoilers and you should watch it unspoiled unless you're like me and desperately needed to know there wouldn't be repeats of certain themes in episode 8 in which case I understand.

General thoughts

How is it possible for a show to make me laugh so hard I feel sick, cringe so hard I want to crawl out of my skin and make me so sad my stomach is dropping through the floor. Seriously the episodes are tiny and it makes me feel SO MUCH IN THEM

Didn't care for the sneak peek video because I was like "seriously, more of the Gurathin-Murderbot arguing? :/". But Pin-Lee COMPLETELY contextualizes the scene and I am oh my god it doesn't even know it's lying because they literally just said they want someone to lie and say its going to be okay. So that was SecUnit trying to be reassuring (poorly). It was RESPONDING TO THEIR NEEDS AND IT DOESN'T KNOW THAT.

It's so snappy and vocal in the hopper, it's really coming out of its shell and so stressed about it.

SecUnit's head reveal and the GrayCris team's "ew get rid of that" reaction but the implications that they don't recognise the head do they even know they have heads?

GrayCris team just in general, amazing team, super switched on, that reverse-Ratthi guy immediately clocking onto SecUnit but not putting it together to later. The you betray me I shoot you. Man I hope GrayCris leader survived the explosion (since the others are all very dead) (plus if she survives maybe some of those GrayCris SecUnits survived).

GrayCris Ratthi just. Immediately bonding with SecUnit and not realising why and opening to converations about the shitty planet and then going SANCTUARY MOON. Amazing. RIP to GrayCris Ratthi.

Cannot understate how cringe and pathetic and sobbing I was over the small talk and then its leap to no beacon launching and it just kinda gave up. My stomach and skin was rebelling. I was crawling out of my mouth. Awful. 10/10 humiliation.

The Gurathin paragraph he only gets one paragraph this time: The camera had some nice moments where it lingered on his face thinking/changing when SecUnit would say something personable or do something. Could see the thoughts ticking over that SecUnit is GOING to sacrifice itself for them. So that later when he looked at SecUnit's face and realised it is dying, his own face dropping, he knew it was coming and then he TURNED MENSAH AROUND TO POINT HER AT IT. It didn't feel like it was only because it had sacrificed itself again and hit the correct number of self-sacrifices to win him over. Which was phew. Finally, an inkling of recognising its personhood that's all I needed to soothe episode 8 and now for episode 10 anything after that is a bonus. (dont really want an apology scene, just changed behaviour, but we will see)

I like that the whole OH NO ITS BETRAYING US barely even lasted like a second or two for any of them. Arguments were more about sudden plans changing (honestly Ratthi, same. fucking hate sudden changes in plans) than about betrayal

I like the objections to murder and SecUnit is like, did you forget what you hired me for? Pointed comments about you get what you paid for. Amazing, possibly my fave line of the episode but I need to rewatch 5 more times to truly decide.

Mensah and GreyCris leader were SO CHARGED. The way they'd take turns speaking and moving at each other. The posturing. Their mature competent faces. Let them wrestle. I wanted them to wrestle so bad. Let these two dignified powerful women fight with words then bodies then mouth.

Yeah that ravine scene where SecUnit can't move can't speak even its narration is failing. The fluids coming out of its body and mouth. The way Pin-Lee, Mensah and Gurathin are all hugging but then Gurathin is the one to realise and he turns Mensah around and urges her to SecUnit. It ends on that. Ooof. I'm kinda glad we didn't get the buffer (yet?) it would have ruined the mood because what a mood.

SecUnit has such a low bar for best clients. Like it's last thought before dying is they're the best clients. Because it had some small conversations with it and they didn't go out of their way to physically hurt it. The bar is so so so low.

Small joyful moments

Ratthi's handmade bag holding a head. SecUnit just. Smuggled a head into the hopper and nobody noticed.

Pin-Lee and Gurathin as a buddy team is spectacular. YES Mensah is HOT. Glad to see some consensus.

Gurathin's sexual awakening

I think Pin-Lee's plan might have worked with some smoothing out.

Feeling incredibly validated that my fanfic, written before episode 9 but not published yet, somehow magically remained canon compliant and ESPECIALLY in relation to WIRELESS COMBAT OVERRIDES. I was using that as a cop out so I didn't have to rehash known shit and instead I am VALIDATED.

So looking forward to the aftercare episode to wrap up this tv show that edges you emotionally every 20 mins. Genius layout. I need it.

That scene where it was totally gonna say something to the team but cut itself off but the team's faces they knew.

It standing awkwardly in the SecUnit hold like yay its like home, but it doesn't fit there anymore either.

I think SecUnit is super social for a secunit and the rest are assholes so its just an outlier that way vs book secunit is just an asshole and the others are normal. enjoy your culture clash humans

Do you like me? Yes/Yes *SPAMS THE CHAT WITH SANCTUARY MOON* had me rolling.

At one point the cringe laughing was so intense I was thankful for the cut to Gurathin so I could BREATHE.

Pebble in its boot.

Is anyone tracking kill counts because I think Pin-Lee had the highest count before the beacon blew up and....possible still does? GrayCris shot themselves, the SecUnits got disabled by media spam...Pin-Lee highest kill count on survey?

That was a much further fall than I had imagined in the book. Is SecUnit a crumplezone? How is MENSAH even ALIVE. And MOBILE.

One con:

Need more Bharadwaj I just feel like she's not really getting much in the way of screen time and I really like her and I want more, where is her story arc?

Wait two cons as someone who's lost count of being crippled due to knee injuries, he is WAY too mobile. Unrealistic.

[securityunit-ese]

episode 10 under the cut to save the eyes PLEASE begging people to watch it unspoilered first

Main thoughts/reactions:

Well that's a horrifying take, for it to waken then immediately have its memories taken away from it. It's confused but passive. Complete dissociation vibes.

The way it is treated by all the humans is awful and I closed my eyes/ears on some rewatches and its just WOW the show really went that hard on visually illustrating the sheer mistreatment and depersonalisation SecUnits get from everyone and how the SecUnits are just devices in the middle.

The episode starts with narration before the memory wipe and then the narration is DEAD silent until the very end when it is looking for transport. Once I noticed the absence of the narration, chills.

The riot scene was absolutely horrifying (get used to this word). This poor confused SecUnit with no memories now has one (1) memory and its of physically ripping people apart and then having a swarm of humans ripping it apart. Then its straight into acid bath and the way its trying to ping the other SecUnits for help?

TV SecUnit seems so social compared to book SecUnit. It contacts the GrayCris ones, offers help, apologises for bumping into them and now pinging company SecUnits when lining up for acid bath? Heart breaking. Keeps reaching out to them and being rebuffed.

That scene where they've recovered SecUnit, but no memories and the gov mod. DEAD silence, the lack of narration suddenly very obvious. Then they give it memories but it's only the PresAux memories, the ones linked to Sanctuary Moon? We don't get the SecUnit that hacked itself?

Governor Module status after Gurathin uploads it memories: No mention of it being hacked. They tell it to do things and it does them. They tell it to stand in the corner, it stands in the corner. They tell it to sit. It sits. It asks for instruction and Mensah finally tells it to do what it wants and it starts to do that and then Gurathin interrupts it. It tells Gurathin that it needs him to tell it to check the perimeter. It needs Gurathin to tell it to do this? Is the governor module still active?

I feel like its still active. I am incredibly unsettled with this post-memory restore SecUnit who isn't the SecUnit from previous episodes and isn't the mindwiped SecUnit but a new third SecUnit that is so unsettling and reminds me of Gurathin's point about personalities and it not being their SecUnit

It doesn't feel like their SecUnit.

The small things I enjoyed:

the extreme levels of cringe depersonalisation that was extreme this show pulls no punches

secunit has a freeze response for the entire episode it is the most dissociated freezing secunit

gonna have to ramp up my cringe fic to match the cringe holy shit

the way it just slow starts to slump/collapse after the malfunction in the mob

the human mob is touching it (bad)

MADAME PRESIDENT MENSAH go off Mensah

Heartbreaking Ratthi scene I was SO WORRIED it was going to punch him or something

I liked Gurathin's hacking scene that was hilarious. Fucking Sanctuary Moon. His ex-supplier hovering over his shoulder going you okay mate? mate? you alive?

TV interview drones are cute little hover cameras

Ratthi and Pin-Lee rescuing that completely broken and sad governor moded SecUnit. Did they clean it? Did they heal it? Did they dress it?

That moment I realised we'd had no narration, when we're getting SecUnit's POV of looking at the PresAux team.

When the narration starts up again but its not the narration style from the first episode - slower, confused, lacking the snark and wit

Yeah that thing don't walk like a human it is so very still

is it still chained despite being free?

unsettled "that's not the SecUnit we know" vibes incredibly unsettling I am unsettled and uneasy

edit: the trope i'm looking for is "came back wrong". I'm getting "came back wrong" vibes.

alternatively it did get all its memories but not the emotional attachment? disconnected? dissociated?

Things I am indifferent on:

Didn't care much for the Gurathin talk with it. Hit some emotional beats sure and he's good as a driving factor but I don't think I'm getting the same emotional beats as everyone else so I was just like. Shrug. Dude saw its memories and finally recognises its a person. Low bar but I'm glad he's over it.

I DID really like SecUnit articulating what it NEEDS and him recognising it and giving him an order to check the perimeter. That was a nice moment.

Just a bit of disconnect there. I don't hate him him like I did after episode 8 but also like. I don't like him either. Episode 8 left its impact and I just... no

Kinda ?? on the ending a bit. Super strong start and middle but towards the end (after the memories regained) it went a bit flat for me. Mostly because wondering about the gov mod the entire time. and I don't care that the leaving scene had Gurathin interrupting it like it needed his permission/understanding so just. Wobbles hand side to side

Things i'm sad didn't happen:

No discard the secunit buffer Mensah yelling at it to shut up flashback scene. Devastated. That would have been agonising.

No internal thoughts about not wanting to be a petbot - tracks with its current thought processes tho. Not a lot of wants happening. Just facts.

Hopes dreams aspirations manifestations for season 2:

Governor module exploration I have lots of questions on its current status

Big ass spaceship friend

Unreliable narration contrasting to what is being shown

More world building and visual design and spaceships and planets and concept art and story boarding

For it to regain its wit and snark.

Less Gurathin and more of the other humans. His background was interesting and makes sense since the final episode is corporate rim located but it felt like it came at a huge cost to the character development of everyone else. Hoping season 2 will give them the development treatment too.