#murderbot thoughts

[securityunit-ese]

episode 10 under the cut to save the eyes PLEASE begging people to watch it unspoilered first

Main thoughts/reactions:

Well that's a horrifying take, for it to waken then immediately have its memories taken away from it. It's confused but passive. Complete dissociation vibes.

The way it is treated by all the humans is awful and I closed my eyes/ears on some rewatches and its just WOW the show really went that hard on visually illustrating the sheer mistreatment and depersonalisation SecUnits get from everyone and how the SecUnits are just devices in the middle.

The episode starts with narration before the memory wipe and then the narration is DEAD silent until the very end when it is looking for transport. Once I noticed the absence of the narration, chills.

The riot scene was absolutely horrifying (get used to this word). This poor confused SecUnit with no memories now has one (1) memory and its of physically ripping people apart and then having a swarm of humans ripping it apart. Then its straight into acid bath and the way its trying to ping the other SecUnits for help?

TV SecUnit seems so social compared to book SecUnit. It contacts the GrayCris ones, offers help, apologises for bumping into them and now pinging company SecUnits when lining up for acid bath? Heart breaking. Keeps reaching out to them and being rebuffed.

That scene where they've recovered SecUnit, but no memories and the gov mod. DEAD silence, the lack of narration suddenly very obvious. Then they give it memories but it's only the PresAux memories, the ones linked to Sanctuary Moon? We don't get the SecUnit that hacked itself?

Governor Module status after Gurathin uploads it memories: No mention of it being hacked. They tell it to do things and it does them. They tell it to stand in the corner, it stands in the corner. They tell it to sit. It sits. It asks for instruction and Mensah finally tells it to do what it wants and it starts to do that and then Gurathin interrupts it. It tells Gurathin that it needs him to tell it to check the perimeter. It needs Gurathin to tell it to do this? Is the governor module still active?

I feel like its still active. I am incredibly unsettled with this post-memory restore SecUnit who isn't the SecUnit from previous episodes and isn't the mindwiped SecUnit but a new third SecUnit that is so unsettling and reminds me of Gurathin's point about personalities and it not being their SecUnit

It doesn't feel like their SecUnit.

The small things I enjoyed:

the extreme levels of cringe depersonalisation that was extreme this show pulls no punches

secunit has a freeze response for the entire episode it is the most dissociated freezing secunit

gonna have to ramp up my cringe fic to match the cringe holy shit

the way it just slow starts to slump/collapse after the malfunction in the mob

the human mob is touching it (bad)

MADAME PRESIDENT MENSAH go off Mensah

Heartbreaking Ratthi scene I was SO WORRIED it was going to punch him or something

I liked Gurathin's hacking scene that was hilarious. Fucking Sanctuary Moon. His ex-supplier hovering over his shoulder going you okay mate? mate? you alive?

TV interview drones are cute little hover cameras

Ratthi and Pin-Lee rescuing that completely broken and sad governor moded SecUnit. Did they clean it? Did they heal it? Did they dress it?

That moment I realised we'd had no narration, when we're getting SecUnit's POV of looking at the PresAux team.

When the narration starts up again but its not the narration style from the first episode - slower, confused, lacking the snark and wit

Yeah that thing don't walk like a human it is so very still

is it still chained despite being free?

unsettled "that's not the SecUnit we know" vibes incredibly unsettling I am unsettled and uneasy

edit: the trope i'm looking for is "came back wrong". I'm getting "came back wrong" vibes.

alternatively it did get all its memories but not the emotional attachment? disconnected? dissociated?

Things I am indifferent on:

Didn't care much for the Gurathin talk with it. Hit some emotional beats sure and he's good as a driving factor but I don't think I'm getting the same emotional beats as everyone else so I was just like. Shrug. Dude saw its memories and finally recognises its a person. Low bar but I'm glad he's over it.

I DID really like SecUnit articulating what it NEEDS and him recognising it and giving him an order to check the perimeter. That was a nice moment.

Just a bit of disconnect there. I don't hate him him like I did after episode 8 but also like. I don't like him either. Episode 8 left its impact and I just... no

Kinda ?? on the ending a bit. Super strong start and middle but towards the end (after the memories regained) it went a bit flat for me. Mostly because wondering about the gov mod the entire time. and I don't care that the leaving scene had Gurathin interrupting it like it needed his permission/understanding so just. Wobbles hand side to side

Things i'm sad didn't happen:

No discard the secunit buffer Mensah yelling at it to shut up flashback scene. Devastated. That would have been agonising.

No internal thoughts about not wanting to be a petbot - tracks with its current thought processes tho. Not a lot of wants happening. Just facts.

Hopes dreams aspirations manifestations for season 2:

Governor module exploration I have lots of questions on its current status

Big ass spaceship friend

Unreliable narration contrasting to what is being shown

More world building and visual design and spaceships and planets and concept art and story boarding

For it to regain its wit and snark.

Less Gurathin and more of the other humans. His background was interesting and makes sense since the final episode is corporate rim located but it felt like it came at a huge cost to the character development of everyone else. Hoping season 2 will give them the development treatment too.

[leguinning]

meanwhile, i thought of something that did make me feel better about the skarsgård!murderbot:

allistic people tend not to believe autistic people about their own subjective experiences because a bias we have in allistic society is that autistic people don't have subjective experiences. an autistic person who comes out as agender* isn't going to be taken seriously. by the allistic people around them (or, in murderbot's case, around it). The person especially won't get taken seriously if they continue to present in a manner that aligns with the gender they were assigned at birth.

with skarsgård!murderbot, we have an autistic person who is agender, but will be read as a cis man. the potential for regular misgendering (as yet another way humans take away murderbot's autonomy) adds depth to the character. *based on how murderbot talks about its gender, the label 'agender' has always made the most sense for me to use when describing the character (if Martha Wells has said anything else, feel free to correct me).

[subparparsley]

The annoying truth that people keep tagging Murderbot TV as a fandom tag, when they're taking about things not covered by the first book.

I haven't read them yet, I'm going to read them because I really loved the program, but why are fics that include characters and events from future books tagging the TV series which at this point only covers book 1?

I want to read All Systems Red or TV series 1 fanfics, and avoid spoilers going forward for the future books. This isn't always super easy as not everyone tags the books the fanfic references, so I thought the Murderbot TV tag would be safe as book 1 is all that's there...

... Except people are out there tagging the TV program, whole talking about events that won't be in the program fro a few series yet.

[lianabrooks]

I’m Not In Prison Because Of Tumblr

If I didn’t have a completely soft space, full of fandom and posts that are completely isolated from any common metric of time, I probably would have let my anger boil over to the point where I murdered someone.

Murdering someone is problematic because I do not have the energy to hide a body and the threat of being left alone for years on end while someone else cooks is not the threat the state thinks it is. 

But, when presented with the option of expending energy on murder or clicking over to Tumblr to look at pretty sunsets, looking at sunsets and GIF sets win. 

Many people are alive today because it was easier to leave them breathing and come read a fanfic. 

[iztarshi]

Random thought: The way Murderbot intercedes between ART and lower level bots (”physically” getting in the middle, offering reassurance) is the same way the PreservationAux crew intercede between Gurathin and Murderbot in ASR.

[iztarshi]

Thiago hits a button for me and it’s a button marked “neurotypical people who have tons of empathy but only for other neurotypical people”. I don’t know whether that’s actually fair to him or not, but I suspect I’m having almost the exact bad reaction Murderbot has, in that he reads as someone who would abandon or punish me without me understanding why and therefore as a threat.

Obviously it’s more intense for Murderbot, the situations in which I’ve had that kind of issue were not life or death.

[mirrorthoughts]

Random thought: Murderbots „You don’t have to look at me, I’m not a sexbot!“ very much complies with me not wanting to use Dating Apps bc „I don’t like to be looked at as if I’m for sale“ <.<

I really do hate dating apps and dating in general. It always feels like I’m throwing myself at people - and I don’t want to throw myself at people!

I want to meet them, get to know them and grow close to them!

(And if we both want to get even closer, that’s nice then. Hasn’t yet happened to me but that’s the problem of being an introverted little hermit even before the plague)