@pomniegranate sent: ❝ you're gonna be okay... eventually. but first you gotta not be okay for a while. it's gotta suck so you can actually recognize when .. you're alright again. ❞
Accepting ; Misc Sentence Starters With A Dash Of Angst:
Well, wasn't this... different?
In a role Ragatha often found herself playing, bringing that "mother's touch" to the group, while the one she'd experienced was more like a no-win grip, the one person she'd been trying to befriend, was instead comforting her. But that was meant to be her. She constantly endured the worst so that she would know to be better, kinder.
And yet, the other night, it was more than just her past that spilled out. Her inadvertent comment about Jax, which sounded like she was referring to Ribbit. It wasn't about that in reality. Ragatha was tired of his behaviour, pushing everyone around while they were trying to make the best of their situation. But she still thought it and actually said it aloud.
She couldn't pretend it was all okay, not having left her room much and skipping the last two adventures. The guilt of letting such an ugly head rear itself was too much. And somehow, Jax still found someone to call a friend while she? A voice sounding like her mother's echoed a familiar insult. She was useless, couldn't do anything right, despite trying tirelessly to be good, she wasn't. So at least she could do Pomni the favour of not wasting her time.
"It's... it's okay, Pomni, really." She forced that pretend smile, always wishing it'd glow but never managing.
"You really don't need to be here worrying over me. I'm sure there's better things to be doing. I just... don't really feel like an adventure today, but you go on ahead and enjoy it for the both of us."
