#mushmushmushmush

[shape-shifting-trickster]

(just got handed mush): thank you so mush!

[twiexmachina]

Quick what is the best thing you can think of something really great something that literally makes being alive the best thing ever because of that one thing what is it

I really don’t want to sound like, super mushy or anything, but it seriously is the comments people give me and the support I get from writing fics.  Like, seriously, it makes my day to get comments, makes my day when I get these cute little asks.  I’ve made friends through my fics too so it’s like....it’s really nice.

There that’s the best thing.  And it’s all mushy.

[eyesbrightaskrystal]

//So first off, thank you so much for everyone who reblogged my promo, and for the ones who said such nice things in their tags.  I am constantly surprised - even though I shouldn’t be by this point, since you guys are wonderful - and touched by how sweet the folks in this fandom are.  I feel so lucky to have been able to write with the lovely people I have so far.  Really, you guys are some of the most welcoming people I’ve ever seen, and there is no way to put into words how appreciative I am.  Thank you for being there, for playing with me, and for being so supportive <3

Secondly, welcome to my new followers!! Thanks for letting me share some space on your dash and for taking an interest in me! I can’t wait to write with you guys!

[theshyhotel]

The beautiful is without concept, but proceeds from the sentiment of the entire person.

Mikel Dufrenne

[destroyingyourself]

it's been 8 months since i started dating my boyfriend. and it's been the happiest 8 months of my life :3

 i love you adam :D 

[destroyingyourself]

is there a time where it's not appropriate to talk about how amazing my boyfriend is?

nope i don't think so. 

i love him. i feel like i can't say it enough. i don't say it enough. he's absolutely amazing in every way. he's so perfect in every way. he's the perfect person for me. he's the guy that i would dream about. the guy that would keep me up at nights. the guy that would be on my mind all the time when insomnia crept in. and he didn't even know me, at least i thought  he didn't. 

there's so many aspects to him that are perfect. i love his glasses. i know he doesn't, but i do. he can really pull them off, and he looks so attractive with and without them. i love his eyes. they're a light hazel sometimes and i always loved a guy with dark hair and light eyes. and the way he looks at me. it sends shivers down my spine sometimes. he just has this look that makes me feel loved. like i'm the only girl in the world. that i'm the only one he has eyes for. it's genuine and i absolutely love that. not to mention i can see his soul. i can stare into his eyes and see all this love and compassion and this beautiful soul lying deep within himself. not many people see that in him because they don't take the time to look. or he doesn't give them to opportunity to. knowing him from school, and what he's told me i know that he doesn't really open up to people. not many people know this side to him, and i feel, to be perfectly honest, blessed to be able to know him like i do because he's truly changed my life in ways i can't describe and he's absolutely incredible. more incredible than the man i knew in high school. if only the world could see him like i do, they'd be awe-stricken.

there's so many different sides to him. and i know most of them by now. and the more i found about him the more i fall in love with him. there's so many different sides to him that i never saw in him. granted that my only point of view was just in school and most times he just kept to himself, but i saw him when he laughed, which i absolutely adored, i always tried to make him laugh in class. and i saw him when he would lean forward to talk to the kid in front of him. he'd crack a joke smile, and i die in my seat. i take a quick glance at him and run through my head that i'd never ever have a chance with him. i think about what i would do if just once we'd have a conversation just between the two of us. that he'd write me notes like he did once in a while to his friends. i was so jealous of her. she'd walk into class and she'd have his attention. i envied that so much. i would try to avert my eyes. but my mind and my heart were dying, begging, pleading in my seat. 

i always figured i was never worth his time. he would just be wasting it on me. but he'd always be on my mind. it got pathetic. i barely talked to this kid and yet i was completely absorbed with him. he was always on my mind. always. 

and then i got to know him. really know him. and he became even more attractive to me. he became even more interesting, intriguing. the more i found out about him, the more i wanted to know. there's this whole other world inside of him that he hides from the world. and it's truly beautiful. not many people are that deep nowadays. and i really admire that in him.

now lets get back to him. his hair. most times he likes it kinda combed over to one side, but lately he's been ruffling it up. and while i love it when he ruffles it up i always loved it when he pushed it off to the side. but how he has it lately has been absolutely amazing. he doesn't know how much i wanted someone who could pull that off. and his smile. that little half smile he has sometimes. it kills me inside. it's just so perfect. and then when he's really happy, his smile gets wider and filled with such happiness and life. yeah his smile can get a little goofy sometimes but that what i love about it. even his smile has so many different aspects to it. his shy one, his goofy one, his cute one, his giddy one, his extremely happy one. and i love every single smile. it always makes me incredibly happy even when i'm not in the greatest of moods. 

and i love when he acts like a goofball. normally i would feel embarrassed and try to hide away. and i know i do that a little, but most times i'm like fuck yeah that's my boyfriend. be jealous world. i love when he makes random faces, dances to swan lake, skips around, and just doesn't whatever he wants. he doesn't care and i admire that in him so much. the things he does to make me laugh :3 and then there's the side of him that does all the cheesy things with me. i never thought i could find someone who would do stuff with me like that. i love all the things in the movies. when a guy dips a girl, or when he compares her to the moon and the stars, taking her out to some random italian restaurant. all of it. he does all of it with me and that means so much to me. that i found someone who would do that with me because no one's really into that stuff anymore. he made a story up for me bc i asked him. i know it was stupid, but he still did it to make me happy. 

i feel like there's so much more for me to say, the fact that he will do anything for me, he always protects me, he cares about my family, we talk about our family in the future, we talk about what we're going to do after college, he truly cares about me, we can do absolutely nothing except lay in the grass and look at the sky and we both have the best time. not to mention the fact that he's such a man. there are so many pussies out there and he's the complete opposite. he also has a sense of right and wrong and tells people when they're wrong. he's not afraid of it.

lets not even get into the fact that he's into music and is musically inclined... we'll save that for next time. 

i love him for everything that he is. all of his flaws and mistakes, for everything he does to make me happy. for everything that makes him him. he's my soulmate and i plan to spend the rest of my life with him. 

adam, i love you more than anything. you are my world and my life.  

[destroyingyourself]

so there's this guy...

ya know those guys in movies, in books, in dreams that are absolutely perfect? the ones that girls daydream about finding since they understand the ideal of finding someone to spend the rest of their life with. the guy that said girls deem to be nonexistent, impossible to exist in the real world but are only alive in the back of their heads. that civilaric guy who says things to make you smile, who gives you kisses for the hell of it, who thinks about the future, who looks at you like you're the only person in the world, who kisses your hand, or comments on you eyes, who tries to make you smile even though you're sobbing. that guy who does everything you want, who's so madly in love with you, and has an unyeliding sense of commitment till the end. no "until i find a better girl", no. this is real. there's no other girl in the world to him. he's never leaving you, bc to him there is no better girl out there. he already found the best. the perfect fairy tale, walk into the sunset ending. 

but that never happens. right?

those guys who fit you perfectly, who fill every requirement, who are everything and more, who makes every dream a reality.... yeah, they could never possibly exist. at least not in the real world. 

i know this is going to be a novel anyway so i'll start by saying that this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. all my dreams were shattered, my knowledge of the male world was completely destroyed. those stereotypes, broken. there is such thing as that guy who will do the little things with you, who will go into a cornmaze with you, or hang out with your crazy family, or bring you to a little italian restaurant. there is a guy out there that will give you flowers to make you happy, who can pull off any outfit he wears, who drives a hot car, who will kiss you on the nose just to make you smile. i never thought that it was possible bc the only ones i could find were in books, men fantasized by women writers. the perfect man. the one who can have fun but will enjoy all the little moments as well.

even if he did exist, he probably wasn't meant for me. i never thought i deserved anything like that. i never thought anyone could love me bc of all my flaws. it just wasn't possible, at least not for me. 

and yet one guy changed all that. one guy made my life absolute bliss, made all my dreams come true, made me realize that all those times i would lay in bed thinking about all the things i'd like to do with a guy can actually happen. 

this weekend was one of the best weekends of my life. not only did i get to finally spend a day and a half with my amazing boyfriend, but i had this whole new revelation in my head. i mean yeah we're still in the honeymoon stages of our relationship, but i mean i'll admit, the summer was absolutely magical, unreal, too good to be true. just the whole summer aura makes it that way, and then college. all he was were text messages and vid chats. and yeah i know that's not all it was, i don't have to doing all this fun summer time stuff for me to enjoy myself with him. but i could fool my mind to think that, the summer was a dream, and he's just a picture. i'm removed from it. back into normal life without him next to me. 

and i know he sent me flowers and a letter and we talk all the time, but there's just something different about it. idk, it's hard to explain. it's just so easy to tell myself that summer was a dream world, just another night laying in bed thinking about all the amazing and romantic times i could have with this nonexistent perfect man.

and then there's friday. getting butterflies in my stomach as the train pulls in. making sure my outfit looks good. grasping my phone tightly. getting that anxiety of meeting someone new. what if he doesn't like me. it almost seemed foreign to me, like we were back to that stage where we just met. i would get nervous and then well, he would be like wow she's just a dumbfuck. and as the train got slower i tried to convince myself that this was my boyfriend, no need to worry. but it didn't seem like that in my head. it just didn't seem real. and then there was finding him. nerves getting tight, butterflies multiplying, anxiety escalating. i was so nervous to see him. beyond nervous. maybe i didn't look as good as he thought i would, i look better on the webcam, maybe my outfit wasn't too great, maybe i did gain some weight and just didn't notice it. so many things going through my head.

looking through tons of people to find him. it's been so long. what if i don't find him? my anxiety skyrockets. keep cool diana. and then i see him. quikcly hang up my phone and try to put it in my pocket and then, the most amazing feeling in the world. a hug from the one you love. the tightest most passionate hug in the world. i missed him so much. after weeks of waiting, being so far away, i was now the closet i could get to him. i was in his arms experiencing that feeling that i can't get anywhere. that feeling that i'd been yearning for for months. it's simply indescribable. i felt whole, complete, together. and then we kissed. i was so flustered. i couldn't think. what was going on? 

i realized that we needed go. but i was elated. i was beyond estatic, but i needed to think. of course i thought wrong, but who could blame me. still. we raced through the city streets and i couldn't help but stare. i wanted to just reach out and touch his face, to make sure he was real, to make sure that he was really in front of me. my boyfriend.

i'm stopping here only because my hands are starting to cramp and if i keep going it will be another 10 pages. so i'm dividing posts so it's not too threatening to those of you tumblr dweebs who want to actually read all this mushy mushyy stuff. ewwww. :p 

[destroyingyourself]

it seems as though the relationships are starting to fade away. the people who said they'd make it through have only gotten through 3 weeks and now their strong relationship has fizzled away. i know it's only been a little over 3 months, but i'm still completely in love with him. i'll look at other guys around campus and nothing. no potential, not thought process, just nothing. i already found my match and i hope we're the ones that make it through, bc idk what i'd do if we didn't. he's one of my best friends (never to beat shannon of course) but he's where i go to when i need help, when i'm distraught, when i'm happy, everything. he's this whole other side to me that i've never seen before, and i feel like everyone else didn't have that. not to say whatever about the other people who couldn't make it, i just think it wasn't their time yet. they feel the need to explore in college bc they aren't sure. well i am. and that's why i'm staying with him, till the end.