I AM QUEEN OF THE SHELL - AND IT IS 2:30AM, NAUTICAL TIME.
BEFORE IT CAN BE IMPROPERLY FELT, THIS IS A STORY AND FRIDAY IS MY SAILING DAY.
I PUT MY CLOTHES ON SLOWLY AND METHODICALLY.
I’VE DONE THIS TWICE ALREADY. BUT THEY HAVE POWER, THEY CAN DO ANYTHING.
THEY SAID TO ME THEY WILL TAKE ME BY FORCE. AS WELL I’M NOT WELL. MY THROAT IS VERY PAINFUL. AND I HAD A FISH AND NOW MY THROAT HAS BEEN BLEEDING A LITTLE BIT SOME TIME.
LET THIS BE YOUR CRY, THEY SAID: WE CAN’T RECOGNISE YOU BECAUSE WE NEED TO SEE YOUR FACE ON OUR FACE.
MY FACES HISSED TO THEIR FACE TWICE. THEY FAILED BOTH TIMES. IN 2014 THEY REFUSED EVERYTHING INCLUDING MY FRESH STEAK.
IN THE QUIET, TEETH BRUSHING AND EATING IS OK THANKS TO OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY.
ALTHOUGH I SWAP CUTLERY AROUND, AND SOMETIMES I DON’T SHOWER - I CAN’T.
BY THE AGE OF FIVE I WAS IN A VERY SMALL ROOM WITH TWO PEOPLE ON A BUNK BED, WITH A TOILET IN THE ROOM: REGULAR SCHOOLING / AN OPEN TOILET - NOT IN SPECIAL SCHOOLS OR OFFLINE FILTRATION SYSTEMS.
THEY SAID DESPITE DATA LIMITATIONS THEY OFFER A VERY IMPACTFUL EXPERIENCE.
THIS IS APPARENTLY ONE OF THE SECONDARY PHASES, AND TRAVELLING TO WORK, ON THE BUS OR TUBE, I HAVE TROUBLE STANDING. PEOPLE DON’T KNOW I MIGHT NEED A SEAT.
IT TOOK 1 HOUR, AND THEY SAID THEY CAN’T RECOGNISE ME. THEY SAID MAYBE I WAS FROM BHUTAN OR FROM STOCKPORT OR FROM MIAMI OR FROM COCHABAMBA OR FROM YOUTUBE; AND YOU CAME VERY EARLY, SO WE CAN’T RECOGNISE YOU.
I OFFER THEM A SYLLABLE AND THEY GAVE ME 90 DAYS. I THOUGHT TO MYSELF OUR PIRATE WOULD GIVE IT BACK. AFTER AROUND 30 DAYS THEY ARREST ME AND THEY TAKE MY WHITNEY HOUSTON: UNSTABLE LIKE THE FIRST TIME WEATHER.
THOSE FIGURES ARE FROM 1990.
THEY GIVE ME THESE TWO TABLETS EVERY DAY. NO DOOR, NO CURTAIN - NOTHING. THE IMPENETRABLE SPHERE OF SOLITUDE.
I PROVIDED WITH THEM WITH ALL THE DOCUMENTS, BUT THEY DIDN’T ACCEPT ANYTHING. MAYBE YOU HAVE GOT IT WRONG, I SAID. TO ENTER YOU, TO ENTER INTO YOU; OSMOSIS.
I AM NOW HERE, AND FRIDAY IS OUR SAILING DAY.
Queen of the Shell
Ulapaarc
Music for Museums, Whitechapel Gallery, 2015