Almost Here
Meant to be something deeply heartwrenching based off Delta Goodrem's Almost Here, but I never got past them meeting.
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It's nerve-wrecking, standing there and waiting, waiting, waiting. His heart is beating in his throat as he looks around the dance studio. He's early, which he knows, but it's his first major role in a dance performance and he wants to make a good impression. He wants to do well. Not just good, but so well that they'll speak of this performance for years to come. Which means that the dynamic between him and the other lead dancer is of utmost importance, and he has to try and make a good impression on the other boy to make sure they get off on the right foot.
He’s usually fine with standing still and just waiting, but not when he’s nervous. His foot is tapping out a rhythm on the floor anxiously and he’s readjusted his shirt a million times so far. Every time he shifts in place, he checks himself in the large mirror to make sure there’s no sweat stains on his clothing, nothing off about his face and hair.
He’s just in the middle of doing exactly that when he sees movement from the corner of his eye. He instantly whirls around, bowing to the choreographer of this dance as she walks in, and then straightening up to suddenly lock gazes with the one walking in behind her. He’s a little less tall than Hyunjin, but they’d told him that would be the case, and his expression is very neutral and serious.
He dips into another bow for his new partner, but stands waiting patiently for the both of them to have put down their bags and straightened up properly.
“Hello,” the choreographer says, smiling at him briefly, before looking over at his partner as well. “I’m going to get the music ready and everything. I suggest you two take the time to get to know each other. We’ll do stretches together, so don’t worry about that.”
He bows again in acceptance of her words and then walks over to the bench again as well, where his new partner drops his bag down almost right next to his own bag that’s already there.
“Hi,” he says, somewhat nervous still but trying his very best to sound friendly and light. “I’m Hyunjin. It’s nice to meet you.”
His partner looks up at him, those soft brown eyes locking on his face, and then the expression shifts into a happy, warm smile. He notices at once the freckles dusting his dance partner’s cheeks, the whiteness of his teeth, the softness of his dust-blond hair. Then his partner quickly looks back down at his bag, zipping open the smallest compartment and digging around in it before pulling out a piece of paper and reaching that out to him.
He takes it with some confusion, eyes briefly clinging to the other male’s face for a moment longer before he looks down at the paper. It’s like a business card, except there’s not a whole bunch of information on it. In fact, there’s only three lines.
I don't speak. My name is Felix. It's nice to meet you.
For a moment he stares down at the paper in confusion, but then he shakes himself out of his stupor and looks back up. Felix is still smiling at him, though it’s a little less warm and a bit more hesitant, and he wishes he knew exactly what to say to give his partner confidence again. He thinks saying it’s no big deal is a little insensitive, though, and in the end his mouth speaks before his brain gives it permission to.
“Do you use sign language?”
Felix’s eyes widen briefly with what he assumes is surprise, but then his partner nods, promptly also making a few signs.
“Oh… Oh I’m sorry, I don’t know sign language. That was just a question…” He bites his lip, feeling even more stupid and awkward, but Felix’s smile widens and he shakes his head like it's no big deal. "I'll try to learn some, though," he instantly adds anyway, feeling guilty and embarrassed both. "The really useful ones. What's sign language for yes and no?"
Felix's smile turns absolutely bright, warm, full of happy amusement. Then, very slowly, as if to make sure Hyunjin can see well, he nods his head, and then shakes it.
He flushes an absolutely undeniable scarlet the second he realises his own stupidity, stuttering out a sound of pure embarrassment. Across from him, Felix laughs with great delight, the sound a happy, high-pitched thing that somehow only exudes happiness and not at all any amusement at his expense. Still, he thinks his life would be greatly improved by the ground cracking open right beneath his feet and swallowing him whole.
He doesn't realise he looked away until Felix's fingers briefly touch his wrist, drawing back his attention. The other dancer is no longer laughing, just smiling warmly and once again shaking his head to indicate it's totally alright. He's not sure totally alright can be used to indicate his current state in any way, but he appreciates the reassurance nonetheless.
All he can manage is a sheepish grin, and an awkward little laugh. "Um, anyway," he says, "after absolutely embarrassing myself like this I guess your opinion of me can only go up from here."
Felix's smile is endless, head continuing to shake while the fingers pat his arm reassuringly, as if to make sure he knows it's not as bad as he claims it was. It sure is, but he'll take the comfort nonetheless.
"Alright boys," the choreographer says right then, saving him from death by awkwardness as she walks back up to them. "We've met but I'll introduce myself again. I'm Kim Jinah, I'm going to be working with you two to teach you the main dance of this performance. You guys have the group rehearsals too, in which you of course have to pay attention as well, but this part is going to be the most important one so I expect full effort and I want you to practise this in your off time, alright?"
Hyunjin chimes his assent while Felix nods, and when they briefly glance at each other, they're clearly both thinking about the same thing because Felix grins and he can't help grinning back. Then their attention returns to the choreographer, who smiles at them.
"It's good to see you two get along. It's going to be important that by the end of this you can convey not just the dance but the emotions behind it as well, so let's start with our warm-ups, shall we?"
Felix is… a great dancer. Hyunjin is in full control of his body, every move perfectly isolated, no muscle moving without it being coordinated by him just so. Technically, Hyunjin's the better dancer, but performatively… Felix conveys every emotion from the first moment he learns the move. Not just putting in the expressions for the performance, but seemingly truly feeling the emotions as he makes every move.
He must have had some conversation with Jinah beforehand, because their choreographer not only shows the moves, but explains every emotion Felix's character is supposed to be feeling. She tells Hyunjin, too, but almost more like an afterthought, as if she knows that he only needs the details a little later, when he's more confident in the moves themselves.
By the time they make it through the whole choreography once, both Felix and him are sweating, but in the best of ways. He lifts an arm to wipe his face on his sleeve and sighs deeply as he walks over to the side to grab a water bottle and empty all of it in one go. When he looks back up, Felix is smiling at him with tired but genuine warmth, giving him a small thumbs up as if to say they’ve done well. He mirrors the smile instantly and nods his head, giving his partner a thumbs up as well.
“You’re a really great dancer,” he says, causing Felix’s eyes to widen almost comically in surprise, before he’s fervently shaking his head, motioning at Hyunjin to indicate he’s clearly better. Or at least that's what he thinks it means. He shakes his head to that, but laughs lightly anyway, and soon enough Felix is grinning at him as well. Then the blond dancer copies a movement from Hyunjin’s part of the choreography and gives the big two thumbs up at it.
They’re both flushed and grinning then, as he shakes his head to wave off the compliment, but still adds a shy little “Thank you.” Felix nods his head and then lifts a finger as if to tell him to wait a second. He watches his partner rummage through his bag and come up with his phone, reaching it out to him in a clear offer, pointing at the screen and miming putting in a number.
“Yeah sure,” he says automatically. “I’ll give you my number.”
He waits for Felix to unlock the phone, but the other male keeps holding it out and so he takes it out of his hand. When he swipes to unlock, it turns out there’s no passcode at all, and he’s temporarily baffled by the seeming absolute lack of protection. Yet when the phone opens on the notes app with a few sentences written that clearly are part of one side of a conversation, he realises the purpose for it.
He manoeuvres out of the notes app and finds the contacts button right at the bottom of the screen, quickly adding a new contact and putting in his name and his number. He gives the phone back to Felix after.
“There. I turn off my notifications when I’m asleep so you don’t have to worry about ever waking me. If you urgently need me it’s best to call. You can hang up again once I pick up and text me instead, but just… That’s the only way to wake me up if I’m asleep.” He grins a bit sheepishly, but Felix’s smile is once again bright and warm, full of appreciation.
Then the fingers move quickly over the screen, almost faster than he could ever imagine someone typing, and a little bit later the phone is turned to him so he can read what’s been written.
I don’t like waking people up so I’ll stick to texting. I have to leave now, I’ve got an appointment, but I’ll see you tomorrow!
He nods his head before he’s fully finished reading, looking back up to meet Felix’s gaze and smiling at him.
“Alright. Take care. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
-----
When he comes home, he looks up sign language. It turns out to be easier when you’re in full control of your body, and so making the right motions with his hands and fingers isn’t too hard. Forming the right shapes, though, occasionally becomes a bit of a struggle. But it works out. He’ll make it work out, if only so Felix can be more at ease around him in the future and not have to always use his phone.
He’s in the middle of another one of the educational videos when his roommate knocks and enters the same way he always does. Before long, half of Changbin's thigh rests on his desk and a wide, delighted grin comes level with his face.
"How'd it go? Tell me all about it!"
"Yeah, it went well! Except, uh…"
Exactly twenty seconds later, Changbin is clutching his stomach laughing so hard, now on the floor and completely taken out with laughter.
"What's yes… and no…. In…. In sign language!!"
More laughter follows the words desperately forced out between utterly uncontrollable laughter, and no matter how much he wants to frown, he can't help but grin as well himself, chuckling just because of how absolutely delighted his roommate is by this.
"And he….. nods!" Changbin practically howls on the floor, and it's years of friendship that has him comfortable enough to grin even as he's suffering the second-hand embarrassment over his own stupidity.
"Dude, I really wished a giant man-eating monster popped out from the floor and snatched me up right there," he admits with no minor bit of amusement on his side as well. "Anything would've been better than having to stand there and start dance practice with him right there next to me."