#mutt screaming

[ap0ll0mutt]

My fav format of polytrix seriously has to be “they’re all pretty sure they’re dating except rumi’s too busy with the horrors to figure that out”.

They share a bed, are almost glued to each other, suffer various forms of psychological distress when seperated and make out on a regular basis. Meanwhile the girls are pretty sure Rumi’s simply wildly anxious because she has Zero issue talking about sex in a thirsty bitch way but is so violently avoidant of them even grazing under her clothes. Rumi of course is managing the aforementioned horrors. Zoeys starting to be a bit concerned it might be something more serious then anxiety but Mira’s so busy trying to pspspspsps their feral cat girlfriend into going to therapy she isnt really thinking like that.

Anyway the demon thing is a bit out of left field and Zoey does 100% scream “i thought u had an eating disorder or were hurting yourself godDAMMIT RUMI” poor rumi utterly mindfucked at this point is like??? How did you know i was hurting myself??? and the pspspspsing to therapy thing abruptly turns into chasing the feral cat down with the kennel in hand to drag her there.

[ap0ll0mutt]

Everyone hella excited about that one baby rumi sleeping backstage at celine’s gigs thing. May I present to you that that inherently means adult rumi can and has slept through pyrotechnics blowing up ten feet to the left of her. She wakes up like a fucking sleeper agent to very specific phrases but otherwise shes probably one of those people you could physically roll over and transport and she’d just think she’d teleported in her sleep.

The first time they all pile into a single bed post idol awards the other two probably think rumis fucking dead when they shake her and she doesnt even whine. Meanwhile she barely hears the word “breakfast” and its up wide tf awake and now shes confused.

[ap0ll0mutt]

I will admit that blushing virgin rumi is funny but freak af and embarrassed about it rumi is SO much funnier.

Like for one if we’re assuming that the patterns appear to humans as tatoos there is NOTHING standing between rumi, a very strongly worded nda and random hook ups. Someone said fwbs who happen to be back up dancers and ive been thinking about it forever.

Those fucking bracelets?? The girls gave them to her as a like oh it represents our friendship thing (zoey screams at the top of her lungs but thats no one else’s business) meanwhile rumi’s brat sub ass is like 🧐 trying to figure out if they’d figured HER out.

She damn well knowns that the two of them are at the very least screwing each other. She hasnt weaseled out if theyre in a full blown relationship or not (definitely not because she wants to sob about it) but do they know SHES getting dommed every wednesday???

The idea that this turns into the stupidest fucking situation when theyre talking about dating and rumis just like ‘okay wait did u guys collar me on purpose or? Because i stopped sleeping around when u did just so u know’ and mira is just sitting there wildly confused and a little shocked. Zoey is once again screaming at the top of her lungs.

[ap0ll0mutt]

While Zoey being the one to accidentally release things before shes suppose to is funny may I remind you that ms’ ‘lives in a state of constantly just replicating behavior’ Rumi is right there and has 100% accidentally slipped into muscle memory out of raw habit.

She has definitely been the source of slip ups because shes stimming through unreleased choreography in the background of someone else’s live. Rumi who hums to self soothe. Rumi who is constantly in motion and it isn’t her fault really that she doesn’t notice shes tapping out unreleased chords. Rumi who now that she feels way safer has the self awareness of a brick wall. She’s spent her entire life hyper-fixated on what shes doing because of her patterns and that was the only thing she could focus on. Now she is blessedly head empty about the entire situation. Rumi wouldn’t recognize she’d walked into a bonfire if it didn’t hurt. Ma’am’s extremely intelligent but that did not transfer to her obsessive disassociating pacing.

There’s entire fan boards devoted to picking apart whatever that autistic bastard is doing in the background of any random video they get from the girls. It got so bad Bobby had to ban Rumi from wandering into streams. Unfortunately for both Bobby and Rumi (who looks like she wants to die every single time this happens) that girl has the awareness of a brick when shes in the safety of her own home and has a weak 25% chance of even noticing there’s a live happening.

Listen. It isn’t her fault Zoey talks to herself constantly and Mira involves herself in Zoey’s single person conversations. It isn’t her fault that she’s spent seven years learning to tune them both out because they wouldn’t stop teasing her for constantly asking what was going on when they were just arguing about Zoey’s internal dialogue. The ongoing fandom joke is an enshrined meme of Rumi’s ‘of god oh fuck oh no’ realization face when she locks eyes on the camera rolling. Every single time new shit gets outted because of Rumi that meme starts going around again and Zoey has 100% taped a printed out version of it to the TV.

[ap0ll0mutt]

You know what im sick of y’all acting like Rumi doesnt have dad friend instincts.

She’s 100% the one that goes back to the counter to get forgotten sauces or fix fucked up items. Just not for herself. Rumi is the queen of “oh its fine” until zoey is like aw man they still put tomatoes on this. And then Rumi instantly becomes that overly poliet but forceful dad thats like my neurodivergent friend doesnt eat that this is a crime

Rumi is the dumb ass putting all the furniture together when they randomly buy new shelves because someone (mira) keeps buying those weirdly cute little figures from popmart esc locations and they’re running out of shelf space. Zoey tried to help her approximently one time but the very low “if you arent going to read the directions you can just watch” rings in her ears any time she even thinks of approaching a silently furiously frustrated rumi again.

RUMI is the one that grocery shops because Mira starts making new dinner ideas that were not discussed (theres a list) and zoey hates the way rumi goes up and down every isle. Shes got a list okay? Its disturbingly well made and she knows where things are in here better than most of the employees. Shes judging the fish selection. Shes silently disgusted by your brand choices.

Mira might have a bottomless purse full of mom friend things but Rumi has a screwdriver a lighter and everyone’s ids they forget constantly so whos the real winner here?

Rumi has no fucking clue whats going on but she doesnt like the vibes so shes shoulder checking her way in front of her girls with her hands on her hips and an utterly disgusted look on her face. God help you if you actually did something wrong because shes going to verbally tear you to pieces in a way your ego will never recover from. (She once asked a dude in Denver if he was being controlled by his clown shoes or there was an actual brain in there and went on to say she couldn’t believe his mother let him out of her basement looking like that; she looked bored while saying it and walked off like nothing happened the second she stopped talking. All the dude did was bump into Zoey on the sidewalk)

Zoey and Mira have so many of Rumis horrible dad jokes memorized that Rumi researches new ones. Mainly because it always makes Mira groan like a popped balloon and Zoey laughed so hard once she puked. Rumis favorite past time is just slapping that shit down at absolute random for the sole purpose of causing chaos. Mira had to institute a rule about no dad jokes after a quipped pun resulted in zoey’s cackling body falling into a mirror. This has not stopped the rage baiting. Its just stopped the horrible puns.

Rumi is online. She knows things. Shes got ten thousand hidden side blogs she uses to stalk hater accounts and post thirst traps. She also however adores misusing memes to fuck with Zoey while pulling out the most obscure 2008 shit you’ve ever seen in your life for shits and giggles. Neither of the girls can decide if shes fucking with them and is actually chronically online or if shes just insane.

[ap0ll0mutt]

Okay but-

Zoerumi who are poly and zoey is currently actively dating mira. She keeps trying to set something up because shes Convinced this could be a trio situation. Rumi meanwhile is just out of residency and has negative time away from the er to do jack All and she loves zoey very much but baby please i want to eat and slam face first into your stomach on our couch. Mira thinks rumi just hates her or the idea of her.

Meanwhile mira snaps her collar bone doing something stupid ends up in the er and rumi not only bolts into the room to point at her spiderman style she also says (loudly in a very crowded er after she harassed her coworker into handing over the case) “YOURE MY WIFES GIRLFRIEND” and ends up dragged into an HR and patient satisfaction meeting. Zoey laughs so hard about this she almost pukes.

[ap0ll0mutt]

Aquaculterist Rumi who is Busy painstakingly propagating and raising endangered ocean flora who in No Way remembers agreeing at any point to be apart of the public aquarium side of things tour list. Rumi who is BUSY and elbows deep in researching PH effects of the California kelp forests and did Not Agree (nor is it in her job description) to show rich people around her lab. Rumi who takes one look at these two (the shorter one all but vibrating in excitement and the tall one watching her like she hung the stars) and decides that maybe she wasn’t as mad as she’d been when her boss had told her about this. Rumi whos almost sick with affection when Zoey starts asking deep diving research level questions. Rumi who is utterly pathetically simping when Mira helps her move a few of the filter mediums and gets wildly excited about finding the little crabs that always end up in there. Rumi who realizes that they penciled their numbers onto the top margin of her note pad hours after they’ve left and has a total pathetic lesbian breakdown before finally texting a very shy ‘hey, its the kelp lady.’ Thats instantly followed with Mira’s ‘oh im calling you that permanently’ and Zoey’s ‘Kelp Rumi!’ That should probably be a little insulting but only really manages to be wildly endearing.

[ap0ll0mutt]

I know the fandom adores tiger Rumi but can you imagine the utter glee of a 24 year old woman who thought her career was over watching HER fandom create a shit load of tiger themed art. Shes probably exstatic. She starts getting little tiger themed gifts at meet and greats. It becomes as big a part of her personality and mythos as Zoey’s turtle obsession. The whole fandom going apeshit with the tiger thing is probably a huge part of Rumi not being as uncomfortable with her patterns as she otherwise may be.

Also imagine the costuming potential because-