Confused

Mutt; he/they NB lesbian 31 Cripple / sd user / dumbass (self diagnosed) Cajun / 🪶

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Alright so; I’m gonna be updating this and its getting pinned because the gods know someone needs to hold me accountable even if its just a pinned post I shake my little executive dysfunction fist at on the regular. So I’ll be updating this pinned post somewhat regularly as we go to torment myself into getting shit done because I have somehow re-entered the part of my life where I need to feel like im being attacked at all times to complete any task whatsoever. (This isnt like me beating myself up for not keeping a timeline btw im just literally out of my adhd meds and can’t get it anymore thanks in general to the United States health system but mostly tarrifs and medication shortages so this is how im simulating being hunted for sport to trick my brain into working);

Accurate as of 04/17/26

Multi chapter stuff->

Tough As Nails (And Built For Breaking) X - Chapter 9 outlined rough draft being edited atm.

Apex Predator X - ch3 outlining stages

Lovesick X - last two chapters are outlined but im fist fighting them atm they are still being written i s2g

Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing (title may change tbfh) - in outlining stages expecting 6 chapters may change idk. {this is literally the only one where Celine’s motives are solidly locked into my brain so hoo rah i guess}

One Shots->

Sharp Glass (When you break) X - ITS DONE IT TOOK ME NINE MILLION YEARS BUT ITS DONE (sh fic pls be warned)

Call it a Bet X - all done; fluffy pattern reveal

Deep Breath, Exhale - outline started

Don’t You See Me Trying? - FINALLY FINISHED THE OUTLINE ITS 38K WORDS LMFAO (super long one shot fiddled with as I go it’s my comfort thing at the moment. Abo / zoemira duo looking for the third hunter / demon raised rumi. Probably going to finish out close to 60k words so rip me but ug H

Everlasting - celine rumi relationship centric. Near death experience resulting in celine having to come rescue the trio and facing the fact that rumi could literally die at any moment. Outlined. Fiddling with prose atm. Hurting my own feelings tbfh.

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Oh my god i missed the first day of pride but heres my eldest daughter in a rainbow tutu with a dead animal in her mouth (shes having the best day of her life)

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Update my ac has been repaired and i earned so many lesbian points today because i knew the exact reason and simply refuse to touch anything electrical because I do in fact enjoy not being electrocuted but i then promptly splashed myself in the fucking jaw with roux so its been a fucky kind of afternoon

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Y’all it is 94 today and my ac just shit out so like :) rip me

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My favorite part about tough as nails Celine is explicitly the fact that she got so used to acquiring new ducklings the second rumi showed up she stared at her paused and promptly just went oh fuck do i have another kid

So, a variant of fanon Bruce Wayne lmao????

Kang Celine is Seoul’s batman and in this essay I will-

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My favorite part about tough as nails Celine is explicitly the fact that she got so used to acquiring new ducklings the second rumi showed up she stared at her paused and promptly just went oh fuck do i have another kid

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Me clutching medic rumi to my chest like the pathetic wet cat that she is: y’all do not understand how lesbian coded this thing is

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She’s learning!!!! Also ch 9 is up lol

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Ch 9 up tomorrow! I finally locked tf in (thank u adhd). If anyone wants a fun taste this chapters song is ‘The Hard Way’ by Cameron Whitcomb

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Okay Im seeing all of you’re demented Celine’s and I raise you wet sad racoon Celine. Heirloom by Sleeping At Last is my dead set favorite characterization song for post canon Celines sad sop ass.

“You remind me of who I could have been, had I been braver and stronger way back then” like cMON

Celine who is an only child who has No Clue how young children work and is doing her best but still treats Rumi like shes much older than she is. Which turns feral toddler Rumi into unsure careful Rumi trying to seek out child comfort.

Celine who gives Rumi anything she asks for without thought because why not? She didnt do anything wrong and Celines desperate to make up for the fact that she feels at fault for Rumi not having a mother. Juxtaposed to totally cutting her off from favorite things when shes broken rules or been a rat bastard. Not realizing how anxious its starting to make her.

Celine who accidentally instills her workaholic nature into her daughter and has multiple stress related break downs about it when Rumi blacks out from lack of sleep in teenagehood but cant figure out how to help because she never learned self care either.

Celine who only considers the ambushes and the inherient danger of demons when teaching the girls to never ever trust anything with patterns. Celine who remembers how her own hunters died and cant see past it. Doesnt mean Rumi too hut fails to ever actually express that because she assumes its a given.

Celine who stops eating for so long after rumi demands she harm her under that god forsaken tree that she almost has to be hospitalized. Celine who has to come to terms and cant with the fact that her daughter thought she could Kill Her.

Celine withdrawing so badly when she realizes just how badly her isolating nature has fucked Rumi up that her daughter thinks Celine wants nothing to do with her and the fall out of that realization on top of it.

Celine who sobs on rumis shoulder when she finally comes home to try and talk and brings some random tea with her as a consolation prize for “what she asked shes so sorry”

Celine who wont drink any other kind of tea going forward.

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I still stand by this. Celine is a VERY grey scaled character. Shes interesting because of it but I fear people have a tendency to go either wildly down the ‘celine is abusive’ line or ‘celine means well and is a capable parent’ when BOTH of those things can be true at the same time. Celine is a traumatized person who was Not prepared to raise a child and thus traumatized that child in her shadow. They have a LOT of shit to work through. But I am firmly in the belief that a Celine who did not genuinely Love Rumi would never have fallen apart the way she did after Rumi fled the tree.

[herkadupul]

Just read the most recent chapter of Wolfish Behavior. @kayr0ss killed me dead several times thanks!

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Every time I think to myself ‘wow im not visibly disabled’ i see a video of me where i look like ive been shot sixteen times and go hmmmmm maybe not

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I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT YALL WERE TALKING ABOUT IM FUCKING OLD

‘Bark like you want it’ is literally a fic title thats why i was freaking out it hadnt updated in like three months i was ECSTATIC

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Working out a quirk in the dialogue atm and abruptly realized y’all have not been informed because I never found a not stupid way to discuss the fact that rumi speaks english with a weird mix of her childhood upstate new york accent and the hellish Chicago land dialect shes adapted to. Also her adoptive family is from Andong and she speaks Korean with a pretty strong Yeongnam accent on top of that.

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I do not know how to articulate that i know when a lesbian has drawn a particular piece of polytrix art so i will just wiggle my stupid fingers and make fun of anyone who doesnt know what i mean

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She wants to show you her fancy new collar and you are going to be SO nice to her!!!!

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Me bitterly opening my fucking wip pile shoving aside two mostly finished chapters for things i actually need to finish to pissily start on the abo fic thats been beating me in the skull for since july