Confused

Mutt; he/they NB lesbian 31 Cripple / sd user / dumbass (self diagnosed) Cajun / 🪶

[ap0ll0mutt]

Alright so; I’m gonna be updating this and its getting pinned because the gods know someone needs to hold me accountable even if its just a pinned post I shake my little executive dysfunction fist at on the regular. So I’ll be updating this pinned post somewhat regularly as we go to torment myself into getting shit done because I have somehow re-entered the part of my life where I need to feel like im being attacked at all times to complete any task whatsoever. (This isnt like me beating myself up for not keeping a timeline btw im just literally out of my adhd meds and can’t get it anymore thanks in general to the United States health system but mostly tarrifs and medication shortages so this is how im simulating being hunted for sport to trick my brain into working);

Accurate as of 06/21/26

Multi chapter stuff->

Tough As Nails (And Built For Breaking) X - Chapter 11 up and chapter 12 outlined fiddling with the draft. (11/15)

Apex Predator X - ch3 posted ch 4 outlined. (3/16)

Lovesick X - last two chapters are outlined but im fist fighting them atm they are still being written i s2g (4/6)

Nobody’s Daughter - rough outlining stages (0/10)

One Shots->

Sharp Glass (When you break) X - ITS DONE IT TOOK ME NINE MILLION YEARS BUT ITS DONE (sh fic pls be warned)

Call it a Bet X - all done; fluffy pattern reveal

Darling X - all done; ABO pregnancy realization

Deep Breath, Exhale - outline finished; fighting back demons on this one atm

Don’t You See Me Trying? - FINALLY FINISHED THE OUTLINE ITS 38K WORDS LMFAO (super long one shot fiddled with as I go it’s my comfort thing at the moment. Abo / zoemira duo looking for the third hunter / demon raised rumi. Probably going to finish out close to 60k words so rip me but ug H

[ap0ll0mutt]

I love when im getting to the juicy part of a new fic and then my edible hits me so hard in the side of the head i loose peripheral vision

[working-on-my-backwards-walk-de]

[isleofthings-deactivated2025042]

An excellent addition hiding in the tags

[ap0ll0mutt]

I FOUND MY FLAKE SALT

[ap0ll0mutt]

White peach redbull…….. white peach redbull save me…. Save me white peach redbull-

[brellstudiosart]

the obligatory trolley problem post

[ap0ll0mutt]

On god we gotta get my stupid ass better coping mechanisms

[ap0ll0mutt]

I did not need coping skills i did in fact need midol

[ap0ll0mutt]

On god we gotta get my stupid ass better coping mechanisms

[ap0ll0mutt]

So apparently im actually grouchy af because i forgot to take my anxiety meds this morning so rip

[ap0ll0mutt]

Y does, at risk of being called old or pissing someone off, the younger generation just refuse to look fuck all up? If you ask me for proof and the pertinent study is on the first page of any major search engine im deleting ur fuck ass comment i s2g. School, ai and the generalized dumbing down of structured critical thinking development content has failed us.

[ap0ll0mutt]

If any of u saw that fuck ass ‘only machines can do that’ comment about rosc yes this was about that and i did in fact delete that comment instantly because it pissed me off so bad

[ap0ll0mutt]

Y does, at risk of being called old or pissing someone off, the younger generation just refuse to look fuck all up? If you ask me for proof and the pertinent study is on the first page of any major search engine im deleting ur fuck ass comment i s2g. School, ai and the generalized dumbing down of structured critical thinking development content has failed us.

[burgerdotcom]

reblogs were off

[ap0ll0mutt]

Big ol trigger warning but im nosey so im supplying the nosey fuel to y’all dog bite under the line

THAT SHIT HURTEDED (im literally fine just swelling rlly bad atm. My current solution is shoving my hand into a literal bag of ice and ignoring it. I put a stitch in the deeper hole after I debrided it but u know)

[whitebeltwriter]

oof that's some decent distance between inscisors too. full grown dog, at least medium size i take it? (labs are medium-biggish imo)

[ap0ll0mutt]

Good guess! She is a catahoula leopard dog! About lab sized but with way more pissy hog dog to them. Fatter head than a lab but thinner and more suspicious.

[whitebeltwriter]

ooh that's a new breed to me! It's giving thin furred lab crossed with a blue tick hound

they look like they can see ghosts

[ap0ll0mutt]

Tbfh probably.

Catahoula’s were bred for intense dangerous hunts, personal protection and cattle herding. They are hella dangerous when they choose to be. Namely they’re used to hunt boar, bears and coyotes.

[ap0ll0mutt]

What if i made a dog au. Like what if i took my favorite little barbie and made rumi a dog trainer. It could be a meet cute but with rumi coming from dog show royalty in like fucking tervurens or something and she went awol and has a bite bred gsd she does sports with. Enter zoemira and their wack ass aussie mix they’re trying to do dock diving with and desperately need help figuring the sport out. Enter rumi stage right excited for a client with a genuinely drivey dog with cute moms.

[tattletaylor]

I feel like Mira in a dog au definitely needs some background in pedigree breeding to have trauma about, but if she's not a dog expert I'd say she should have been a horse girl before her parents did something bad™️ that ruined her relationship with the lifestyle. (My gut says the classic horse ded thing of horsegirl movies except Mira's parents never let her properly say goodbye or mourn so she low-key hated the thought of having another pet until Zoey pouted at her). That would give her some very helpful, useful ideas regarding training and the like to bond with Rumi over but without taking away from Rumi's expertise.

[ap0ll0mutt]

You’re brain is so big as per usual.

Consider; mira’s parents bred high level competitive show dogs of some hyper competitive breed. Maybe dobermans. Dogs that are supposed to do more than be locked in a kennel and dragged show to show (unfortunately this does happen especially with specials signed bitch who worked for one of those kennels) and maybe a dog died. Maybe they got found out for overworking Juniors or youth interns. Maybe the dogs were just psychotic because they had no real stimulation or outlet and it ruined Mira’s view of ‘working breeds’.

But they have this weird Aussi Duck toller mix that Zoey begged to adopt and she needs SOMETHING to do because shes so active and they hike but she loves to swim and zoey watches the dock diving dogs on the tv every year so they decide to go to the local trainer with a regulation pool ‘just to see’.

Only to turn up early and watch the instructor jump her own dog, an actual working bred german shepherd thats going 26-28 feet and swimming back like a freight train. Once the big ass dog (his name is tuna fish???) is out of the pool and put up in the trainers car suddenly rumi is right there and shes so friendly and encouraging. Shes SO helpful and her training pointers make SO much more sense than any kf the forceful things mira was taught to do that she never felt okay doing to Poppy (whos name was assigned at the shelter and zoey refused to change it because ‘but its her name mira???’) and they become really fast friends and end up badgering rumi to teach them all sorts of things and it just progresses from there.

[tattletaylor]

Okay but Mira eventually adopts a doberman puppy right? Like Rumi and Zoey showed her how to love your dogs and she never intended to adopt a pupper but she keeps telling herself her parents were wrong but she can't truly believe it until she proves it.

She has to know.

[ap0ll0mutt]

UGH ur so right tho.

Rumi encourages Mira to handle Tuna Fish for all his silly things. She learns how to throw a frisbee with him constantly going to get it and politely returning it even tho she sucks at throwing it. Zoey helps her handle Poppy on the dock and they learn agility together. Maybe the puppy is a surprise. Maybe those two watch Mira fall asleep with two large dogs wrapped around her and they think ‘theres room for three and how good would it be for her to have a puppy of her own?’.

At first Mira’s resistant. She doesn’t want to go thru with it even though she actually really likes the breeder Zoey picked out. But she does agree in the end because she loves playing with Tuna and she loves the way Poppy learns things and shes desperate to have a dog thats just hers that she can shape without anyone else’s influence.

Mira names the puppy Myung and the first thing she teaches him is to touch his nose to her palm. He looks up at her a few days into learning this at ten weeks old with so much love and trust in his fat little baby body and Mira sobs. She picks him up and holds him wriggling and licking her face furiously while she heave sobs on the floor and thinks ‘they were all Myung in the beginning and so was i’

[ap0ll0mutt]

Big ol trigger warning but im nosey so im supplying the nosey fuel to y’all dog bite under the line

THAT SHIT HURTEDED (im literally fine just swelling rlly bad atm. My current solution is shoving my hand into a literal bag of ice and ignoring it. I put a stitch in the deeper hole after I debrided it but u know)

[whitebeltwriter]

oof that's some decent distance between inscisors too. full grown dog, at least medium size i take it? (labs are medium-biggish imo)

[ap0ll0mutt]

Good guess! She is a catahoula leopard dog! About lab sized but with way more pissy hog dog to them. Fatter head than a lab but thinner and more suspicious.

[ap0ll0mutt]

What if i made a dog au. Like what if i took my favorite little barbie and made rumi a dog trainer. It could be a meet cute but with rumi coming from dog show royalty in like fucking tervurens or something and she went awol and has a bite bred gsd she does sports with. Enter zoemira and their wack ass aussie mix they’re trying to do dock diving with and desperately need help figuring the sport out. Enter rumi stage right excited for a client with a genuinely drivey dog with cute moms.

[tattletaylor]

I feel like Mira in a dog au definitely needs some background in pedigree breeding to have trauma about, but if she's not a dog expert I'd say she should have been a horse girl before her parents did something bad™️ that ruined her relationship with the lifestyle. (My gut says the classic horse ded thing of horsegirl movies except Mira's parents never let her properly say goodbye or mourn so she low-key hated the thought of having another pet until Zoey pouted at her). That would give her some very helpful, useful ideas regarding training and the like to bond with Rumi over but without taking away from Rumi's expertise.

[ap0ll0mutt]

You’re brain is so big as per usual.

Consider; mira’s parents bred high level competitive show dogs of some hyper competitive breed. Maybe dobermans. Dogs that are supposed to do more than be locked in a kennel and dragged show to show (unfortunately this does happen especially with specials signed bitch who worked for one of those kennels) and maybe a dog died. Maybe they got found out for overworking Juniors or youth interns. Maybe the dogs were just psychotic because they had no real stimulation or outlet and it ruined Mira’s view of ‘working breeds’.

But they have this weird Aussi Duck toller mix that Zoey begged to adopt and she needs SOMETHING to do because shes so active and they hike but she loves to swim and zoey watches the dock diving dogs on the tv every year so they decide to go to the local trainer with a regulation pool ‘just to see’.

Only to turn up early and watch the instructor jump her own dog, an actual working bred german shepherd thats going 26-28 feet and swimming back like a freight train. Once the big ass dog (his name is tuna fish???) is out of the pool and put up in the trainers car suddenly rumi is right there and shes so friendly and encouraging. Shes SO helpful and her training pointers make SO much more sense than any kf the forceful things mira was taught to do that she never felt okay doing to Poppy (whos name was assigned at the shelter and zoey refused to change it because ‘but its her name mira???’) and they become really fast friends and end up badgering rumi to teach them all sorts of things and it just progresses from there.

[ap0ll0mutt]

So uh uhm next chapter may be later than intended im writing one handed (i got mauled lol)

[whitebeltwriter]

WTF IS A GRADE FOUR AND IS A HIGHER OR LOWER NUMBER BETTER?! APOLLO?!

[ap0ll0mutt]

Understand that u have activated my stupid dog autism.

So in behavioral work we have a scale of severity for bites that was created by one Dr Ian Dunbar. The dunbar bite scale defines a dogs commitment to actual harm and the intensity of the attack.

Level ones an air snap. The dog is threat displaying this is usually entirely ritualized with no true intent to harm. If a dog wants to bite and you don’t have management in place it isnt ‘missing’ and you didnt dodge it. It air snapped. It was warning you that it might escalate.

Level two is basic skin contact with no true punctures. There might be some abrasions from surface damage but the dog isn’t trying to hurt you. This is also often ritualized. Its another warning or it may be displaced herding behavior or frustration.

Level three is a bite with one to four holes where the punctures are no deeper than half the length of the canine. This may be a true aggression or fear response. It may also be frustration or poor bite inhibition on the dogs part. This dog means it but not with the intent to do extensive harm. This is still a distance making behavior. ‘Dont come closer ill bite harder’ or is prey driven (dog misses toy and bites down on skin and pulls back full force of bite when it realizes its hit skin.)

Level four is basically a level three but the dog bore down. One or more canines to full depth, deep bruising indicating a full grip with tricuspid involvement or the dog bite and shook thus lacerating in two directions. This dog means it. This was not a warning bite or ritualized aggression this was a genuine bite with intent. But this dog likely still did not intend to genuinely maim you.

Level five is multiple bite releases rebites at a level four intensity OR a multi bite incident where the dog pauses between attacks with more than one grade four bite to the victim.

Level six is a mauling that results in extreme loss of limb or death.

Generally we use the bite scale to One, explain the severity of the bite or attack and Two to try and reason out the dog’s mental status and how genuine it was in its desire to either create distance (good!!!! Distance prevents bites!) or shrink distance (bad!!! That kind of dog is seeking conflict) and work out a plan to keep everyone including the attacking dog safe in the long term.

[whitebeltwriter]

"activated my stupid dog autism"

we literally share custody of a fictional dog (Bestest Girl Grace), I knew what I was in for when I asked

so not only are you two levels shy of being a genuine mauling victim (victim of mauling? maulee?) you are also ALLERGIC TO DOG SPIT? AS IN THE STUFF THAT IS NOW DIRECTLY IN YOUR WOUNDS?!

is this like a rash kind of allergy or a "my windpipe is now actively trying to kill me" kind of allergy?

[ap0ll0mutt]

It just makes the swelling worse tbh and its itchy AF. Like dogs licking me itches a little bit but introduced into a wound that shit ITCHES but mostly its jsut swollen af. Ive got an urgent care appointment tomorrow am to get an xray done just in case but ive popped some allergy meds so we are gucci