Relationship Anarchism
Relationship Anarchy, to be a Relationship Anarchist, is thé incorporation of anarchist ideas into the practice of romantic-sexual and platonic relationships. It involves internalizing values of horizontalité, free association, autonomy, and mutual aid as a guide for how we structure and engage with our relationships. Relationship Anarchism is an approach to relationships. It’s not a style of relationship. It’s a means of how we engage as humans. Approaching our interpersonal relationships with an eye towards autonomy, towards realizing free association and mutual aid in our lives. Relationship Anarchism is renouncing ideas of control or management of others, refusing domination and seeing everyone as they are.
What are these core anarchist values that lead to Relationship Anarchism? Anarchism is a broad movement with many ideas including opposition to the state and capitalism, abolition of all hierarchy and core values of mutual aid, free association, horizontal organizing, autonomy, self-liberation, and direct action. As Peter Gelderloos explains:
Autonomy and Horizontality: All people deserve the freedom to define and organize themselves on their own terms. Decision-making structures should be horizontal rather than vertical, so no one dominates anyone else; they should foster power to act freely rather than power over others Mutual Aid: People should help one another voluntarily; bonds of solidarity and generosity form a stronger social glue than the fear inspired by laws, borders, prisons, and armies. Mutual aid is neither a form of charity nor of zero-sum exchange; both giver and receiver are equal and interchangeable. Since neither holds power over the other, they increase their collective power by creating opportunities to work together. Free Association: People should be free to cooperate with whomever they want, however they see fit; likewise, they should be free to refuse any relationship or arrangement they do not judge to be in their interest. Everyone should be able to move freely, both physically and socially. Anarchists oppose borders of all kinds and involuntary categorization by citizenship, gender, or race. Direct Action: It is more empowering and effective to accomplish goals directly than to rely on authorities or representatives. Free people do not request the changes they want to see in the world; they make those changes. Self-Liberation: People must be at the forefront of their own liberation. Freedom cannot be given; it must be taken.
–Peter Gelderloos, Anarchy Works