#my dcu

[ohmygodshesinsane]

in my dcu, there would be superboy dolls pez dispensers and fighting figurines to accompany the young justice tv show. just btw

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

My DC Cinematic Universe - Creature Commandos: Part X

Chapter Ten: Loathing. Unadulterated Loathing.

This. This is maybe the dumbest decision that this series makes. Ilana Rostovic, Princess of Pokolistan is far-and-away the thing that I despise the most about Gunn's Creature Commandos, and as you've seen if you've been reading this now TEN CHAPTER ESSAY SERIES, there's a LOT I dislike about this series. But no, it's the princess that I hate the most. And why? Look, at this point, if you haven't see the series or been spoiled on it, I will be ruining the entire series for you very quickly, so my suggestion is that you not read past the jump if you don't want to be completely spoiled.

I'll just say here that Ilana's role completely degrades that of several characters. She makes Amanda Waller look like a fucking moron, Rick Flag Sr. look like a major creep and a simp, Circe look completely goddamn useless, and Nina...Nina. Goddamn it, look, there's not a lot more I can say about this character without spoiling the show, so even though it's early on, let's put the jump in here. I'll also tell you now that I'll be discussing a decent idea for a villain (I think, anyway), and thoughts on the plot of my ideal Creature Commandos series, so if that's enough for you to brave the series-breaking spoilers, I'll see you after the jump.

Oh, uh, and be ready for my pure, useless, overpowering nerd rage. You've been warned.

HOW ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH IS ILANA THE SEASON'S VILLAIN???

Let's start this rant with a quick recap and assessment of Ilana's plan, which simultaneously doesn't exist and is too thorough, somehow. Ilana's goal? Take over the world with her soldiers at the forefront. And how does she accomplish this? First, get the USA to send the Creature Commandos to take out Circe, who figured out your plan. Then, seduce Flag to get him on your side in order to get him on your side to kill Circe for you. Flag won't do that, but then, assuming that when Circe was captured by the US and rightfully would tell someone of your plan to take over the world, hire Clayface to discredit her as a source by pretending to be the exact expert on Amazonians that Amanda would hire, by anticipating that choice...somehow. And then...profit? Without us having any idea how she would do this, or why, for that matter, she would partner with Gorilla Grodd, at bare minimum, then take out the Justice League and every other hero that could stop you, and then...again...profit???

What? Why? What was even the point of you doing this? There is literally, literally, no explanation. And sure, maybe she's insane. Sure, not every villain have a true reason for doing the awful things they do, or maybe we don't need to know what those reasons are to believe her as a credible threat. BUT THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH TO NOT ACTUALLY EXPLAIN ANYTHING!!! And what's even worse about this, is that there is no reason why you couldn't have used an actual DC Comics villain, instead of an original character whose only purpose is to fuck Rick Flag Sr. and look like an innocent princess, oh, AND KILL NINA MAZURSKY FOR NO FUCKING REASON

I...just...this is incredibly stupid. And like I said before, it cheapens a boatload of other characters in the process. Now, in this spoiler-filled zone, I can elaborate on that statement.

Rick Flag Sr., to some incredibly minor credit, tries to resist Ilana's seduction attempts, and fails basically immediately. She turns on the sexy charm, and they have sex the night they first meet. And doing that, yes, is weird because of the inevitably uncomfortably age gap between them (still hate that), but also makes Flag, a dedicated military man and intelligence officer with years of experience under his belt, an easily manipulated simp with no common sense or personal agency outside of his dick. So, as said before, Flag is a simp at best, a creep at worst, and a gullible idiot no matter what.

Amanda Waller continues her losing streak, playing right into Ilana's hands somehow, even if she bucks expectations and sends the Commandos to kill Ilana, correctly. But she also proves to be easily manipulatable, because Circe actually could have been lying! The right thing to do in this instance was to fuck off and ignore the situation, and why exactly did Waller get involved again? Because she can't goddamn help herself, that's why.

Circe is a failure. I said this in the last essay, but why in the hell didn't she just kill Ilana with FUCKING MAGIC?!? Instead, she stages this absurd invasion of the mansion, complete with decoys and red herrings, and only then tells somebody else what the fuck is going on, and waits so fucking long to do so, that Ilana somehow has the chance to contact and hire Clayface to replace the Amazon interpreter to discredit her. JUST GIVE FLAG OR THE BRIDE THE VISION BEFORE LEAVING FUCKING POKOLISTAN!!! WHY IS EVERYBODY SO GODDAMN INCOMPETENT IN THIS SHOW???

Nina is a pawn to establish Ilana as evil. And to be clear, we didn't need to kill Nina to do this, but Gunn introduced her seemingly to do just that. And also, that doesn't even make sense, because technically, ILANA ACTED IN SELF-DEFENSE!!! Even if she WAS evil, killing Nina in this instance was actually justified, because Nina was ABOUT TO KILL HER!!! And if Ilana wasn't actually evil, her killing Nina STILL would've made sense! Maybe this is where we were meant to question whether or not Ilana was evil, sure, but...again, killing Nina isn't necessary for that to be established. What a waste.

But OK, making Ilana a villain could still work, right? I mean, maybe actually have her explain her plan a bit, or at least her motivations that would eventually lead her to becoming a major villain. Or hell, maybe she's being manipulated by somebody else, or she's actually another villain in disguise or linked to somebody else. You know what, we can fix this! Let's just use one more episode to explain what's up with her, maybe stage a major final showdown where she explains her motivations and ideology, and then

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

SHE'S DEAD??? SHE'S JUST FUCKING DEAD NOW WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EXPLANATION FOR WHY OR HOW SHE WAS GOING TO KILL THE ENTIRE JUSTICE LEAGUE AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD??? WHAT THE HELL WAS EVEN THE POINT OF HAVING THIS RANDOM-ASS CHARACTER BE THE BIG-BAD OF THE SERIES IF YOU'RE GOING TO TELL US NOTHING ABOUT HER??? GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I am...ugh. I am frustrated. There is more to this problem, but I just don't understand why Gunn would invent a new character, and such a poorly-fleshed out character on-screen, instead of use a DC character with known motivations, or at least provide motivations for Ilana, if you absolutely have to use her. I can think of a few reasons for Gunn's insistence, which are as follows:

Gunn likes actress Maria Bakalova. He had previously been a fan of her in the second Borat film, which is understandable, and then cast her as Cosmo in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 and the Holiday Special, and she is a fitting actress for the role, doing a fairly good job in it as well. Butthat doesn't quite explain the invention or usage of the original character, or neglecting to flesh her out as more than just a pretty face with unexplained ambitions.

Gunn wanted to surprise the fans with a villainous twist. This is assuming a good proportion of watchers would be comic book fans, expecting Circe to be the villain instead of this absolute rando. Well, uh...comic book fan here, and all you accomplished was pissing me off and ruining several characters in the process, including poor Circe, who I wanted to see as the villain. And that's still not an excuse to not give her connections to known characters, or motivation of literally any kind. Plus, if the villain was Circe or another canon character, comic book fans would've been excited to see an iconic character adapted by you somehow. Misguided (and failed) attempt to throw comic book fans off.

Create a new original big bad for the Gunn-led DC Universe. She's dead. You killed her. Moving...what a second.

OH GODDAMN IT SHE GOT FRIDGED

It took me this long to see it, but...fuck me, Gunn actually put two women in refrigerators in this show, in two different ways, for the same person's motivation! Nina was killed by Ilana, serving as motivation for the Bride, sure. But then, Ilana was motivation for Flag to do all of his useless bullshit, fueled mostly by his dick, while she also became motivation for the Bride to shove her into that refrigerator!!! The deaths of both women served as motivation for the Bride, making them women in refrigerators. Holy shit. He did it twice.

And OK, I recognize that this is a somewhat loose definition of that term, but you gotta admit: Ilana's purpose in this show was to die. The entire point of her actions were that the Bride would eventually kill her in order to show her devotion to Nina, whom she had killed. Her life was a pawn sacrificed in the service of the Bride's character development. That is fucking heinous. Especially because there were so many other options for villains, or even for usage of Ilana herself. I'll prove it. I'll give you three pathways here, instead of the "purist vs. creative" options I usually use. You'll see which one I prefer, but I bet I can make this better.

The Villain: Ilana Rostovic

So, here's the thing. Initially, I was about to present alternate ideas for the villain of a Creature Commandos series, with fixing Ilana as one of the entries. And then...something happened. I started writing the whole thing up, and I realized something that I'm actually in love with. So, I may propose other villains in a later entry, but the following massive section is about fixing Ilana herself. And honestly...this might be my favorite answer for the question of villain for this series.

In this section, we'll use Ilana as out major villain for the series, and a twist villain with enough time to establish herself. We'll also assume that we have no extra episodes of the series, so we'll establish her in the time that we know the studio agreed upon. We also won't assume the team she's going up against, because that actually shouldn't matter too much. The Commandos are going up against Ilana at the end of this series, and while individual storylines have taken place throughout depending on the roster, the ending climax is still broadly the same. The only assumption we will make is that we aren't using Enchantress. Other than that...how do we do this?

First things first, if we want to make the princess a twist villain, then the Creature Commandos need to be brought in by the ruler of Pokolistan...Queen Rostovic. Yeah, we meet the queen in Gunn's series, but she's decrepit and mentally infeeble to the point of basically being dead for all intents and purposes. In this revision, the queen is the one that the Creature Commandos are brought in by, in order to deal with a threat to her throne in exchange for access to a unique military technology, interesting the Untied States government. This tech is a Cold War holdout, adapted and updated with modern technology to form a unique and formidable weapon. Because what in the hell was up with the Amethyst Knights? You know, the security force of Pokolistan? They're just kinda...there, with very little explanation. Instead, let's explain them by relating them to a DC Universe connection: the Rocket Red Brigade.

Given that Russia in the DC Universe has continued to develop the Rocket Reds as an armored and weaponized security force, getting access to this technology would be a pretty good motivation for the United States, and also has potential payoff later in this series. Anyway, what is the Queen of Pokolistan getting out of this? Easy; there's a conspiracy to kill her, and rumors in Pokolistan have spread of the Baba Yaga. At the very least, there has been magic used to threaten the queen's life, and her strength is being degraded by an unknown source, leading the superstitious queen to believe magic is involved. Which would sound insane, if it wasn't actually true.

Better minds than me could decide how to introduce the idea of Circe, but episode 1 would end with the introduction of a threat against the queen's life: a minotaur, sent after the queen to kill her, and fought off by the Commandos in episode 2. In the process, we also meet the queen's daughter, Ilana, in episode one, and get an idea of her ideology through her seeming admiration of her mother, and a snapshot of her own ambitions as queen one day. However, we also get the idea that perhaps the Queen's ambitions are less-than-good, and that the plot to kill the queen is more complicated than assumed. The Commandos, sent there to deal with a potentially arcane threat against the life of a potential ally, stumble into a supernatural political quagmire.

Now, in the last essay, I established this way to fix Ilana by making her an actual witch, and the one threatening her own mother with death and her magic. Now, she's threatened by the appearance of the Creature Commandos, and needs them eliminated while speeding up the time needed to kill her mother and inherit the throne for herself. She also needs to point the Commandos away from herself, and she uses her old teacher in the witch arts: Tala. See that last essay for more about this character, but we've reinvented her a bit into a Pokolistani witch who was Ilana's former teacher, then realized that her student had mad ambitions of conquest of the country and beyond, resulting in a fallout that saw Tala magically banished from Pokolistan by Ilana. Her threat, therefore, is real, but against Ilana rather than the Queen. It's Ilana who has engineered methods to make her mother the seeming target, rather than herself.

Tala also needs agents to act against Ilana from the inside, as she can't enter the country. So, she engineers conditions to get others involved, both slowing Ilana's plans down considerably, and heightening the chances that her plots will be uncovered and stopped. So, Tala engineers things that prompt the Queen to contact the Americans for help, in exchange for the Rocket Red technology. To do this, she uses her magicks to attract allies form the countries surrounding Pokolistan, and turn them into her own army of arcanely powered warriors that can pound on and degrade the banishing field around the country, allowing her to enter and dispatch Ilana, but also having things appear as a diplomatic emergency that would prompt the Queen to seek intervention, without causing actual war for the country or its surroundings. This version of Tala is evil in a very personal and selfish sense, and not interested in disrupting global balance for her own needs. In any case, the Commandos are brought in, and Ilana now has to deal with them, and speed up the timeline.

When the Commandos arrive, Ilana conjures a creature to kill her mother and engage the Commandos, making sure to make it appear as an emissary of Tala, rather than herself. I think I said a minotaur last time, but let's go more traditionally Eastern European and say something like a bauk instead. That way, we can actually see this as Ilana's familiar, disguised as an old stuffed bear in her quarters, and furthering an innocent image that belies her true nature. Once this put the Commandos after the witch on the border of Pokolistan, Ilana can speed up her slow killing and maddening of her mother, ensuring that her death will come while the Commandos are there to witness it. We get through some fights with Tala's forces, the breaking of the arcane seal around Pokolistan, and continued battles to save the Queen. All the while, the Queen of Pokolistan grows more and more unstable and ill, and in the middle of a raging madness in the back half of the series (like, episode 4 out of 7), collapses and dies in front of the Creature Commandos, and seemingly of a stroke or heart attack. Thus, Ilana is coronated "sadly" as the new Queen of Pokolistan, and sends the Commandos to bring Tala to justice, by whatever means necessary.

Episode 5 of 7. The Commandos, on command of the U.S. government and their Pokolistani allies, travels with the Amethyst Knights to engage and defeat Tala in her headquarters, a Baba Yaga-esque chicken-legged mansion. Many of the Knights with them fall, and the group engages Tala outside of the country. However, in the process, they find out the true target of her actions: Ilana. Upon that realization, the one or two remaining Amethyst Knights have a rune in their armor activated, as planted by Ilana in a recent cosmetic upgrade, and the armor transforms into a golem-like juggernaut meant to kill Tala and the Commandos. Additionally, after defeating the Knights, the group finds they can no longer enter the borders of Pokolistan, having had their arcane invitation revoked by Ilana, and also being banished from the country's borders with Tala. Now, Ilana can act with impunity, as the Queen of Pokolistan.

Tala shares her vision with the group, and the first half of episode 7 sees a flashback of Ilana's past, and an understanding of her actions over the course of the series, as well as her future ambitions and the reasons for them. We see fairly quickly that a young Ilana, with red hair in the flashback, is very much in love with the Grimm Brothers idea of being a princess, and has been since she was a child, seeing herself in the role of a fairy tale heroine held in place by a tyrannical queen and stepmother. Said Queen forces her to die her hair blonde, so as to be visually tied to the blonde Queen herself, who was revealed earlier in the series as her stepmother. When she meets Tala, the two recognize in each other power and potential, and Tala selects Ilana as the Maiden to her Mother. Over the years, she acts as the Merlin to the Princess, training her in the arcane arts as a tutor, with the Queen always wary of Tala. Over the years, Ilana's obsessions with fairy tales grew, and Tala became wary of a mental instability tied to arcane power. This led to their disagreement, and to Tala's banishing, as well as the escalation of Ilana's plans. All the while, throughout this flashback, we notice Ilana's tie to a specific book of fairy tales, given to her by her father many years before. And again, this seems to make her seem very innocent, as she's seemed through the entire series.

And that's the entire point.

OK, from here, the Commandos ally with Tala to take out the mad Queen. Tala reverse engineers the sigil on the armor of the Knights, and is able to break the banishment against her and the Commandos, allowing them egress. Ilana, now feeling comfortable with her power, and preparing herself for war against literal monsters, Queen Ilana transforms all of her loyal knights into powerful arcane juggernauts, and partners with her bauk familiar against the Commandos, who are acting somewhat against orders from the U.S. Government to take care of Ilana. Threats emerge throughout the forests surrounding the castle against the group, but they manage to make their way to Ilana for the final episode of the series, as she's coronated as the Queen officially. And as the group face off against her, Ilana taps into the magick she's kept restrained, and prepares to fight. All the while, she holds her special book in-hand, drawing both inspiration and idolatry. We also see that with her mother dead, Ilana's hair is red once again, as it is naturally. And yes...this is very important.

The Commandos and Tala get to the castle; a fight ensues with the Queen's Knights, backed up by Bauk and other monsters she summons and animates from her arsenal. We get some sick animation, epic monsters vs. knights stuff, it's just cool as hell. Tala, now able to get to Ilana to stop her power, finds to her surprise that the Maiden has grown impressively powerful in their time away. The link appears to be the book, through which she has formed some kind of arcane bond to extradimensional magicks that have given her power. The sigil she sent with the Knights was also an invitation, so that Tala could understand the power Ilana now wields as Queen. In other words, this is a problem, and the group begins to see that.

However, as they are on the brink of defeat, Tala comes upon a realization: the magic Ilana uses can be turned against her. Drawing from the armor of the Amethyst Knights, she empowers the Commandos with similar magicks, and they use this to defeat Ilana, using her own fairy tale logic against her to brand her the Evil Queen. This further turns the tide, transforming the magic she uses, as well as her own appearance subconsciously. Her red hair turns more of a blood red, her skin pales, and my ulterior motives as a comic book obsessive are finally revealed.

The Real Villain: The Queen of Fables

I have always been terribly upset about the lack of representation of the Queen of Fables in media, because this is maybe my favorite Justice League villain. You may be thinking: "Wait, isn't she Black and voiced by Wanda Sykes?" Yeah, that's the Harley Quinn version of the character, who almost worked, but honestly wasn't the Queen of Fables to me. They did get the broad strokes right, however. She's the literal Evil Queen from stories and fables, banished to a storybook by sorcerers long ago after her egress on Earth. Later iterations establish the Queen, AKA Tsaritsa, as an eldritch metaphysical entity also known as the Might Beyond the Mirror, representing the evils dreamt up by imaginations from the collective unconscious, brought to life and banished by the metaphysical embodiment of mythological good and imagination, Promethea. It's...it's actually pretty neat, but it's some New 52/Rebirth and Alan Moor stuff, if that helps explain it. But in any case, the Queen of Fables is a powerful Justice League villain...and what I see as an opportunity.

Ilana is marked with the brand of Evil Queen, physically and metaphysically, through the power of magic that comes from the realm of imagination and dream that exists in the DC Universe, and lashes out angrily as a result. However, this leads to her defeat by the Commandos, as Tala has exhausted most of her power for the time being, and all work together to turn her own banishment magic back upon her, using as a target the realm that she loved so very much: the Book of Fables. Banished to the book, she is placed in the role of the Evil Queen and Stemother seen throughout it, essentially sent through metaphysical space and time to become the Queen of Fables, and ironically bound to the book for all eternity...until the day that she's summoned into this iteration of the DCU, fully-fledged as the Queen of Fables.

The spells fall, the Knights are defeated, and Pokolistan is saved...and left without a ruler. Maybe we saw another character meant to take up the throne, maybe this has neighboring governments or the U.S. Government attempt to install their own ruler or take over the country during a time of political unrest. That's another plotline altogether. But the Commandos are victorious, Tala retreats to heal (and consult with another member of her coven, the Crone Morgaine le Fey as mentioned in the last essay), and Ilana Tsaritsa Rostovic (her only-now revealed full name) is within the Book of Fables, given to the Commandos and the government for "safekeeping". We'll see, of course, what happens throughout this iteration of the DCU; the Queen is likely to return.

And, uh...yeah, that's my incredibly self-indulgent method of fixing Ilana Rostovic: turn her into an actual established villains that's powerful, cunning, and dangerous in her own right. And all in seven episodes, even! Are there better options for this? Oh, almost certainly. Obviously, the Queen of Fables turn isn't fully necessary, just interesting to me personally (and probably a bunch of comic book fans), and you can still keep Ilana as the main villain with some tweaks. There are also other villains to consider, and I may do a post involving different potential villains for each of the Creature Commandos teams we've identified. In fact...let's do exactly that, while also molding the stories with these characters. Consider this past story with Ilana the main branch, using Ilana as the villain with heavy tweaks, and usable for any team of Commandos, including the original one seen in the actual series! But for the specific teams, let's look at some different options.

As a reminder, our team proposal line-ups are as follows:

The Purist Team: General Wade Eiling (military benefactor), Miranda Eiling (military liaison), Frankenstein's Monster (field leader), the Bride (field leader), G.I. Robot (J.A.K.E.), Scratch (Zachary Griffith), Nocturna (Natalia Knight), and Mermaid (Nina Rhodes)

The Creative Team: King Faraday (government liaison), John Brown and the ghost of J.E.B. Stuart (military liaison), the Bride of Frankenstein (field leader) and the Monster (field leader), G.I. Robot (J.A.K.E.), Man-Bat (Kirk Langstrom), Clayface (Basil Karlo), and Enchantress (June Moone)

For the Queen of Fables Plot, both teams work, but take out Enchantress for the Creative Team line-up; she'll be replaced by Tala in the series climax, and introduced in the potential second season of the series. As for the potential plots customized for these teams...we'll start with the Purist's Path, and use the power of legacy to establish this new iteration of the DC Universe in the present and the past, by using an enemy that represents the latter. And honestly...let's go nuts. And I mean Morrison nuts.

Part One: Introduction and Adaptation Part Two: The Original Creature Commandos Part Three: Amanda Waller and Rick Flag, Sr. Part Four: The Frankensteins Part Five: G.I. Robot Part Six: Weasel Part Seven: Doctor Phosphorus Part Eight: Mermaid Part Nine: Circe Part Ten: The Princess Part Eleven: An Alternate Story: Purist Team (next) Part Twelve: An Alternate Story: Creative Team (soon)

[milkydraws8]

girls chilling

[localgremlinboy]

I ended up drawing out a scythe design and then wanted to do a cute drawing of him like I did with Twoface!

also you can get it as a sticker and some other stuff on my redbubble

[ohmygodshesinsane]

this is my vision

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

...You ever see something in media that pissed you off so much, you were tempted to make a YouTube video about it? An adaptation of something you love that's been SO BADLY fucked over, you need to scream it into a screen to get your feelings out? A show that you had your hope up for, something that would inform your opinion of future media, then dashed that hope against the rocks like a god callously discarding a deformed child? YOU EVER SEE SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU SO MAD, YOU MAKE HALF-BAKED REFERENCES TO GREEK MYTHOLOGY THAT MAKE NO SENSE, EVEN IN CONTEXT???

...

Creature Commandos really pissed me off.

The finale of Creature Commandos came out today, so I watched it and the previous episode (which I missed), only to turn out enraged, disappointed, and really worried about the DCU going forward. And yeah, I know, I'm a sad comic book nerd crying into the cybernetic void, as a percentage of us always does when the badaptation comes a-calling, but I'm normally a VERY positive person, and this show...this show.

This series stood on a cliff overlooking a vast ocean of possibilities, dove off with a beautiful arc, twisted and turned in the air gracefully and poetically, and as it approached the surface of the water, SMASHED INTO A ROCK FACE-FUCKING-FIRST, AND IT WASN'T PRETTY!!! Ugh. I hate complaining like this, because I know it's cringe, I know it doesn't matter, I know that most people don't care, and I'm sure a lot of people disagree with me. But this made me so upset. I'm tempted to write a whole goddamn essay about it, honestly. I just had to get SOMETHING out to vent, because...I hated this. I really goddamn hated this, and I may not have felt this way if not for the ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT ENDING that we got.

Jesus tap-dancing Christ. I'm probably gonna write that essay.

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

My DC Cinematic Universe - Creature Commandos: Part IV

Chapter Four: Fiends Made From Misery

Warning, uh...I'm gonna get a little heated in this one. I'm upset.

The Tourmaline Necklace, episode two of Gunn's Creature Commandos' first season, focuses heavily on one of his favored characters in the series: the Bride. We'll get into his iteration of her origin story in a moment here, but I will preface this with a few things. First, there is nothing wrong with making the origin stories of thee characters absolutely dripping with tragedy, and the Frankensteins definitely qualify in that regard. However, once again, Gunn's version of that tragedy is...fucked. It's fucked, when you really think about it. But again...it's allowed to be a little fucked. We'll get to it, but I will say that The Tourmaline Necklace is certainly...effective, and not badly written in terms of the Bride's origin, overall.

Secondly, I adore the Bride and Frankenstein's Monster in the comics, and I also honestly like the idea that she's the leader of the Creature Commandos, and that he takes a back seat in his role, never actually joining the team. Having two stitched together Victorian monsters on one team is a little much, and I do think this was a good decision, as was putting her in the leader position as one of the most famous monsters in history. Third, having the Bride be a rough-ass character and a bit crude is not a bad character trait. She can be a bit of a bitch (her words), and that's OK. Plus, Indira Varma knocks it out of the park in her characterization, and the Bride is one of the most fun characters to watch in the series. Genuinely, I do enjoy her character, and much of her character development. Not all, but much.

And fourth: having the Bride hate Frankenstein's Monster is a valid and genuine character trait. Yeah, no problem with that. She hates him in the comics, but also learns to tolerate and forgive him over time, which is character development. And there are different reasons for that hatred in the comics (and the original book) than we get in the series, and that's...a problem. Oh, and fifth, both have excellent designs, and the animation for them, especially in terms of the Bride and her action scenes, are genuinely stellar. Great job to the animators and character designers (even though she's missing something, but more on that towards the end).

OK. I've addressed my positives. So...deep breath...spoilers ahead...

WHAT IN THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER???

Why is he a whiny incel fuckboi? What the hell?!? This is a knightly, dignified character, who isn't the monster that he appears to be on the outside, and yes, loves the Bride because they had a bond, broken by the blades of tragedy and trauma! He isn't a whinging murderous jealous stalker pissbaby who throws tantrums when somebody gets too close to his "beloved"! He's in denial, sure, but not a goddamn delusional...monster! HE ISN'T ACTUALLY A MONSTER! THAT'S THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT OF THE CHARACTER!!!!

...OK. OK. I have been WAITING to get that out of my system for WEEKS. I honestly love this character, and doing this to him in his first adaptation outside of the comics genuinely breaks my heart. And yes, he's coming back, and there's a chance of some kind of redemption for the character, but he's always going to be stained by this season's portrayal. And that's for the entire new DCU that Gunn is crafting! The character is actually ruined in every live-action or animated incarnation under that umbrella, possibly for years!!! It's just...incredibly frustrating. And I haven't even gotten to their backstory in the series, OR the comics. So...ugh. Let's get into this.

The first thing to be acknowledged, of course, is the backstory for both characters. As everybody probably knows (or should know), Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus was an 1818 book written by the mother of all Goth kids, 19-year-old Mary Shelley, and introduced the classic story of Doctor Victor Frankenstein, who sought to create life from the dead, and assume the role of God. He did so, and created Frankenstein's Monster as a result. This creature was like a child (like Victor's child, in truth), but was also innocent and naive despite his monstrous appearance. But Victor hated his own creation, and the monster fled, afraid of his creator and the world he was brought into.

In his innocent and naive wanderings, he learned to speak and educated himself, becoming very eloquent and expressive, rather than the stumbling moaning brute he's been portrayed as. In a way, that misunderstanding of his character is a poetic irony, as media tends to turn him into what the people in the book fear him to be: a monster with little mind. However, even in the book, the monster is corrupted, and grows to hate mankind as much as it seems to hate him. He swears to kill his creator, and eventually makes his way back, killing his brother in the process. Eventually, he finds Victor and, rather than kill him, demands that the scientist builds him a bride, so that he's no longer alone. And that goes...poorly.

Here's something media seems to have forgotten: Victor breaks his promise. See, the Monster threatens him to make a bride for him ("Shall each man,' cried he, 'find a wife for his bosom, and each beast have his mate, and I be alone?"), and promises to leave with her forever. But Victor is so afraid that they'll create Monster Babies that, knowing that the Monster is watching, he destroys the progress he had been making on the bride. In return, the monster returns to kill Victor's new wife, Elizabeth, some time later. And yeah, what this means is that Mary Shelley didn't invent the Bride of Frankenstein. I also forgot that was the case until recently. The Bride's existence is thanks to the 1935 film Bride of Frankenstein, which makes a stitched-together woman with the iconic white streak in his hair.

With that said, though, the end of the Monster's story in the book comes when Victor chases the Monster across Europe to enact his revenge, and the two finally meet within the Arctic Circle, only for Victor to die of hypothermia, and the Monster to realize that his creator's death did nothing for him emotionally, and decides to return to death the Viking way, and end the saga of Frankenstein and his Monster once and for all. No burning windmill, pursued by angry townsfolk with pitchforks, like in the 1931 film. Just a sad monster and his creator, fueled and emptied by pointless revenge.

And that's where the DC Comics Universe's story begins.

A Modern Modern Prometheus

Grant Morrison, maverick that they are, was hired to reboot the classic DC Comics team, the Seven Soldiers, with an all-new roster. So, they decided to bring a classic literary character into DC Comics lore, and it fit surprisingly well. This Frankenstein has much of the same origin story as the original, with the appearance of the 1931 film version, and one major addition: Victor actually did build the Bride. And like in the original 1935 film, she rejected him (wasn't her type; yes, actually, no more acrid than that), and when he seemingly dies, the Bride wandered the Earth on her own. In the process of her adventures, a random supervillain named the Red Swami found her, brainwashed her, and added two extra arms to her to have her look like a reincarnated Kali. But the secretive organization S.H.A.D.E. found them, and rescued and recruited the Bride as an Agent.

Meanwhile, Frank survives the Arctic, and travels to the United States, where he has multiple adventures, including an encounter with the difficult-to-explain eldritch being Melmoth, with whom he has a long history and rivalry (and one of the main villains of Morrison's Seven Soldiers). He's sent into dormancy after a battle with Melmoth, then brought back by a bullied high-school student, because Grant Morrison. He soon was recruited by the Bride to be an Agent of S.H.A.D.E., and joined the Seven Soldiers to fight against Mr. Melmoth and the Sheeda Queen (again, Grant Morrison). And then...Flashpoint and the New 52 came, and Frank and his Bride got a revamp. And not a bad one, to be clear. This time, both began as Agents of S.H.A.D.E., as leaders of the Creature Commandos. However, Frank and his Bride were on the outs when we first see them. And the reason for that is...understandable.

In the 1950s, S.H.A.D.E. technology allowed the doomed couple to actually have a child, created from their DNA. However, while the Bride was excited about this, Frank was worried, and for good reason. The Child broke out of its containment early, rabid and wild, and attacked the Bride. In order to protect her, Frank shot the product of their artificial union, and the Bride hated Frank for his actions. Neither is unjustified in their feelings, although Frank still loves his Bride, no matter what. However, what neither of them knew was that the Child actually lived, and S.H.A.D.E. knew this. It escaped and ran back to Castle Frankenstein on instinct, killing people in its path, and the Bride and Frank went to confront it.

When they found it, Frank recognized it as his child, contrite for his rash reaction when they first met, and attempted to calm it down. However, it was actually in pain and pleaded for death, leading to the Bride doing exactly what Frank did decades before, and killing the Child. This led to her leaving S.H.A.D.E., no longer able to trust the organization and their secrets, and to Frank now angry at her for killing their child, but still in love. If you want to read this yourself, check out Jeff Lemire's run on Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E. 1 - 8, and while you're at it, check out Superman (2016) #12 - 13, where Frank and the Bride team up with Superman and Lois Lane to stop a monster, and...compare marriages. For only being in one issue, it's a frighteningly good read, I promise, as well as being gorgeously drawn.

So, with that, you may now realize how complicated these two are, both in backstory and in character. Frank is an eloquent and well-spoken character, extremely noble and stiff-lipped, but willing to dip into the morally gray for the sake of obligation, and haunted by his past. He is a murderer, but never an unjustified one. And yes, he does deeply love the Bride, but doesn't pursue her out of respect (and later, out of anger). The Bride, on the other hand, is admittedly less-defined. She is fiercely independent, stubborn in her own fashion, and does not brook deception. She doesn't care for honor as much as duty, and is far less bound than Frank is. They are starcrossed lovers, but syzygy is nowhere to be found.

There's a lot you can do with these two, so you may be able to see why I'm so...irritated. The Bride's personality, as I said before, is fine in the series. No real issues with it. But Frank? Ugh, Frank. You turned him from this knightly, noble and troubled character into a consciously murderous baby, with NO redeeming qualities to him whatsoever. And again, that's without considering the horrible changes in their backstory.

Rage Without Bounds

Spoiler alert, but in this version of the Frankenstein story, Victor Frankenstein creates the Bride at the behest of his creation/son, Eric Frankenstein (why Eric, by the way, why not Adam?), in his castle in the fictional nation of Pokolistan, where the series' main mission just happens to be taking place. Eh, whatever. Anyway, Eric throws a tantrum to his father/creator, who reluctantly creates the Bride for his son/creation from multiple bodies, as expected. After he is done, the new Bride is immediately frightened of Eric, whose literal ONLY desire is to smash, and doesn't even slightly remember how difficult it was for him to come into existence. He's genuinely an idiot.

We see a montage of Victor teaching the Bride about life and language, all while Eric complains that the Bride doesn't wike him yet, boohoohooGODIhatehim. And as the Bride grows this connection and trust in her creator/father/teacher, she also grows afraid of Eric, who grows increasingly frustrated and pathetic about not being able to have sex with her, blaming Victor for her opinions and calling it a failure, before running out in tears. Ugh. And, then, instead of destroying the Bride in front of his son, as in the book, Victor arguably does something far worse.

He has sex with her. His creation/daughter/student.

I just...I mean...what the fuck, Gunn? Look, I have literally no problem with sex in a DC Comics property, and I get that shitty people online have been calling comic book films sexless, specifically Marvel, but if you asked if I wanted to know the color of the Bride's nipples, I would've said I DON'T FUCKING CARE??? WHO THE FUCK WOULD CARE??? This is a fucking horrible plot point, not even including the fact that Victor was, again, essentially her father and teacher, making this spiritually adultery, incest, and in a way pedophilia, BECAUSE SHE WAS BASICALLY A CHILD!!! And sure, you can argue that this makes Victor Frankenstein the true monster, but guess what? You corrupt that point in the next scene by MAKING ERIC KILL HIM!!!

The Monster killing Frankenstein isn't a crazy idea, mind you, but you immediately paint him as the villain in doing so, as well as in the subsequent stalking-through-the-decades montage, and try to make the audience forget what Victor just did! YOU TRIED TO MAKE HIS ACTIONS THE LESSER EVIL, BUT IT'S STILL INCREDIBLY FUCKED UP WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT FOR LITERALLY 5 SECONDS!!! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING???

And the worst part, of ALL of this, if that's even POSSIBLE at this point, is that in the end, ERIC'S STORY DOESN'T EVEN MATTER!!! Nothing that this character does has ANY EFFECT ON THE PLOT WHATSOEVER!!! When we get our Eric Frankenstein episode in episode 4, The Iron Pot, we find out that not only did the dude kill the kindly blind person analog from the original story, for truly no good reason, but he also is still a whiny piss-baby, AFTER A LITERAL CENTURY OF BEING ALIVE IN THE WORLD!!! At least the Bride grew up at all, but Eric learned nothing? And frankly, this is a waste of David Harbour. The guy isn't a bad actor, at all, actually, but he JUST. KEEPS. GETTING. FUCKED. And he did a really similar character with teh Hellboy reboot a few years back! I just don't get it.

But yeah, when Eric shows up in the series finale to deliver his message, the Bride just shoots him before he gets the chance, calls him a stalker, and walks away! WHY WAS ERIC EVEN IN THIS STORY? FOR LAUGHS? BECAUSE I AM NOT FUCKING LAUGHING!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Purist Choice: Frankenstein's Monster and the Bride

Have Frank be the leader of the Creature Commandos, occasionally talk about the Bride and have her appear as a rival bounty hunter, maybe give them some version of the son story without S.H.A.D.E. involved, so you can still give Frank the lost love thing, get rid of the whole Victor spiritual incest subplot, and DON'T MAKE FRANK A GODDAMN FUCKING INCEL STALKER

Creative Choice: The Bride and Frankenstein's Monster

Have the Bride be the leader of the Creature Commandos, bring in Frankenstein's Monster as a side character and maybe intimate that he works for a rival organization so you can set up S.H.A.D.E. as a potential spin-off in the future, give them some version of the on story with or without S.H.A.D.E., get rid of the whole Victor spiritual incest sublot, AND DON'T MAKE FRANK A GODDAMN FUCKING WHINY LOSER INCEL STALKER

IT'S A PAGE ONE FUCKING REWRITE!!!

I'm...pissed. I realize that my irritation is...over-the-top, but I am genuinely upset by this. And honestly, while I was perturbed and annoyed in the moment when that episode came out, my feelings have matured like a fine wine into all-out rage. And yes, it's extremely possible that the fucked-up nature of their origins will be revisited in the second season of this show that we're getting. I welcome that immensely, honestly. But either way, their character's history is still written in stone. This will always be a part of their backstory in the DCU, and there's no changing that now. It's incredibly upsetting to me. And sure, bad things happen in a realistic universe, but...did this have to be one of them? Ugh. What a waste, in multiple ways.

And another thing, while I'm airing my last grievances: why not give the Bride four arms? I get that it's harder to animate, but there's a very easy way to fix that: don't let her keep the arms. If we did want to give the Bride and Frank a rivalry over the years because of hatred, she easily could have HAD the arms, and seen them ripped off during a fight between the two of them at some point. Or, even worse, she was given the arms in an unforeseen event, and they were later ripped off by their son. That would only have to be one scene of her arms in the flashbacks, and we could see why she and Frankenstein hate each other so much. There are ways it could've been done, and it's upsetting that Gunn didn't seem to try. And maybe he did try...but if so, this is what he came up with? Not impressed.

The Bride deserved to be in Creature Commandos, as did a version of Frankenstein, and both would make it into my iteration of the series, while only one would be an official member of the group, exactly as Gunn did. There's more to it that that, of course, but I'll leave some of that for later, when I talk about the story in a separate essay. And I'm looking forward to seeing the Bride again (NOT Eric), knowing that the decision made about her character aren't the character's fault. What's more, I will say again that her design and animation (even without the two extra arms) are both excellent.

And even though that one thing done to advance her character in the season finale was VERY shitty, I can see that Gunn likes the character enough to develop her, and she's definitely his Rocket Raccoon for the Commandos. And from there...yeah. I'm gonna lie down. This was a frustrating entry. Next essay, though, we'll hit episode three, Cheers for the Tin Man, as well as my favorite character in the series, G.I. Robot.

See you next time (maybe, no pressure)!

Part One: Introduction and Adaptation Part Two: The Original Creature Commandos Part Three: Amanda Waller and Rick Flag, Sr. Part Four: The Frankensteins Part Five: G.I. Robot Part Six: Weasel Part Seven: Doctor Phosphorus Part Eight: Mermaid Part Nine: Circe Part Ten: The Princess Part Eleven: An Alternate Story: Purist Team (next) Part Twelve: An Alternate Story: Creative Team (soon)

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

My DC Cinematic Universe - Creature Commandos: Part V

Chapter Five: Cheers to the Tin Man

Y'know, I had a few ideas for titles of this essay, but this is honestly the perfect title, which is probably why Episode Three of the series also has it. Cheers to the Tin Man is far-and-away my favorite episode of the series, because it's honestly just a hell of a lot of fun, and justifies the Creature Commandos in this universe by making them terrifyingly (and mostly realistically) effective, while also giving us the backstory of one of its best-executed characters: G.I. Robot.

Like the Frankensteins in the last essay, I won't waste time and say that G.I. Robot was always going to make it into my version of the Creature Commandos. He's one of my favorite Weird War characters, and the idea of an automated soldier is gold, both for creativity and comedy, as this series proves. Unlike the Frankensteins, I think Gunn nailed this character, and honestly gave him more dimension than I would've expected from this character. This is an example of a character with little-to-no personality in the comics, elevated to his best possible form. God, I can't speak highly enough of this guy, and this'll be the complete opposite of the last essay.

Of course...the episode isn't perfect. But we'll get there. For now, let's actually go through this episode, because there are a slew of other characters and references here that flesh out the universe, also making this one of the more important episodes of the season. But yeah, let's start with the Tin Man himself.

First appearing in Star-Spangled War Stories #101 in 1962, the first G.I. Robot had a name: "Joe". A functional prototype, this robot responded to commands, and was sent into the field on a test run with a necessary human handler, a private named Mac. To test this machine, the creator, Professor Zurin, sent the duo to a super-safe testing area: an island full of still-surviving dinosaurs. Yeah, uh, Dinosaur Island is a major feature of 1950s DC, and is a central part of a period known as "The War Time Forgot." And, oh, don't worry: I'll be revisiting Dinosaur Island very thoroughly at a later date. With that said, the two survive their encounter, with G.I. Robot interpreting (and sometimes misinterpreting) Mac's commands, and saving him on multiple occasions. But Joe, as a prototype, would only last a few issues.

The next G.I. Robot was nicknamed "Mac", in honor of the prototype's handler. This one was also sent to Dinosaur Island, this time with a new helper named Reed, and the two had the same kind of shenanigans, with an improved response to commands in Mac as compared to Joe. However, this iteration died on his first seen mission, saving Reed in the process. And, heads-up, G.I. Robot getting destroyed is a trend throughout his comic book history. That may come back into play later. At this point, though, in 1966, the last story about a G.I. Robot is published for years, until Weird War Tales #101 in 1981. This time, he's not a prototype...and he's fit for war.

20 years later, G.I. Robot comes back in a story written by Ross Kanigher, who also invented the previous two iterations, and had obviously been trying to get this character to catch on. Guess he saw the opportunity, and decided to throw him into actual war. This iteration, named J.A.K.E. (Jungle Assault Killer Experiment), was now invented by...Myron Mazursky. Oh, HOOOOO, now that's an interesting connection, isn't it? Now, to be fair, having Mazursky be both a biochemist and a mechanical/software engineer is...silly. Even for comic book standards. However, the other person involved in making G.I. Robot is Charles Grayson, who absolutely makes sense in this role. A relative of the original Robin, Dick Grayson (yes, REALLY), Chuck was also the assistant to another prominent World War II era scientist, Robert Crane. Crane would be in an accident, forcing his brain to go into a mechanical body, and becoming the first Robotman in the process. So, yeah, Grayson had some experience.

G.I. Robot, therefore, was a part of Project M, the think tank responsible for the Creature Commandos, establishing that link. There's more to this story, but just know that J.A.K.E. was sent out outfitted with multiple weapons, and with new human handler Sgt. Coker. The two had several mission in the South Pacific campaign of World War II, mostly fighting the Japanese forces, until J.A.K.E.'s destruction in 1943 via self-sacrifice. Again. There's a trend here. A second G.I. Robot, J.A.K.E. II, was built afterward, and accompanied by a robotic companion, C.A.P.D.. This version of the character would eventually team up with the Creature Commandos in earnest, all of whom were stationed on Dinosaur Island during the latter days of the war. Afterwards, he would be silently decommissioned in 1945, but would survive into the present day this time! But, he would have very few appearances, and would return during the New 52 era with a whole new backstory. Now. Allow me to show you one of the best comic book pages I've ever seen.

Again. You see why I'm pissed about Frankenstein's Monster's treatment in Creature Commandos. Jesus. Anyway, this badass image comes from Men of War #8, the last issue of a series rebooted from a 1970s war series, and starring Frankenstein's Monster during World War II. And it is chock-full of badass images of Frankenstein's Monster that just make me upset when I think of Creature Commandos. But the most relevant point here is that scientist Robert Crane is kidnapped by the Imperial Army of Japan, and the Bride rescues him, only for him to reveal that he's already been forced to build a weapon for them, and it's ready for war.

The Japanese Attack Killer Elite Robot, AKA J.A.K.E., is sent after the allies to fight. However, when it goes after a submarine that Frank is in, he LAUNCHES HIMSELF AS A TORPEDO AT HIM UNDERWATER, GOD GUNN DID HIM SO DIRTY!!! Crane reverses the Robot's alliance (because why not), and he becomes the Joint Allied Killer Elite Robot instead, AKA G.I. Robot. And then, he punches a kaiju in the face, because this comic is both ridiculous and amazing. After this mission, G.I. Robot survives at least until the Korean War, where he teams up once again with Frank. Honestly, awesome. Gruesome, but a hell of a character legacy.

Although, to be fair, it wasn't over. G.I. Robot appeared once again in a...really odd limited series that I'd never heard of before writing this post. One-Star Squadron starred a number of new or D-class heroes running Heroz4U, a gig-economy superhero hiring platform that has heroes work as telemarketers, security guards, birthday party entertainers...Cameo appearances, yes, ACTUALLY? It's definitely a joke series, but the main roster includes Red Tornado, Power Girl, Flying Fox, Heckler, Gangbuster, and...G.I. Robot. And here's the thing: it's such an odd series, and everybody is SO out-of-character, I don't think this can be considered canon. It's definitely a satire, and a good one, but there's no way it's canon. Look, I'm mentioning it o be a completionist, but it's going to be completely ignored by the annals of time. Not a great series, and incredibly odd in several ways for several characters. Plus, uh...G.I. Robot looks like this. Nightmare fuel.

Now, G.I. Robot's been adapted a couple of times, namely in Batman: The Brave and the Bold and, of course, Creature Commandos. Both series sets his origins and actions in World War II, and funnily enough, serving with the classic comic book wartime group Sgt. Rock and the Easy Company. I'm tempted to go into Easy Company in more detail, because its a super-neat group with a long comic book history, but that may be a topic for another day. All you need to know is that Easy Company was a group of soldiers serving on every battle in the European front of World War II, and they've appeared in DC Comics and other media since 1959. Classic group, cool to see them here, especially because we might be getting a Sgt. Rock movie? That's been in development for years.

Cheers to the Tin Man opens with G.I. Robot's backstory, bringing us back to his days with Easy Company, or "his boys", who gave him the nickname "Tin Man" in the first place. And you can immediately see his connection with the group, and his prowess in fighting Nazis. It's genuinely heartwarming. Flash-forward to the 1950s or '60s (unclear), where he's on a television show showing his somewhat unhinged (and hilarious) programming, only to be watched by Will Magnus, holy shit.

Now, not sure how I feel about time-shifting Will Magnus this far into the past, for a number of reasons, but this is incredibly exciting because of what Gunn's implying: that we'll see Magnus' creations in his DCU, those being the robotic superheroes, the Metal Men. And if there was ANY other group I'd want to hand over to Gunn from DC Comics, the Metal Men is incredibly high on the list. 'Course, this series has made that claim less enthusiastic, but I actually think Gunn would be excellent at changing the Metal Men for a modern audience, and giving some characters more depth to their purposely-simplistic personalities. Lab experiment characters, after all, seem to be Gunn's strongest point when it comes to adaptations.

Obviously, other stuff is happening in this episode's modern day, as the group realizes that Circe is headed to the palace while they're all absent to kill the Princess, and these things don't matter to me at the moment. I'll talk about Circe's nonsense plot in another essay, don't worry, but not this one. But towards the end of the episode, we see why G.I. Robot landed in prison, and in the Creature Commandos, intercut with two montages of glorious ultraviolence. In the present, G.I. Robot absolutely massacres Circe's troops at Flag's command, and it's fun seeing his upgrades as compared to World War II. In the flashback, he ended up being collected by a member of the KKK/American Nazis in Hub City (gotta assume local heroes Blue Beetle and the Question weren't around yet), with plans to use him as a weapon to do something heinous, only for him to slaughter literally all of the Nazis in the room and get arrested. We also establish that due to a previous criminal case, robots are granted human rights and accountability. Now that...is interesting. Can't wait to find out what that refers to in Gunn's DCU. Red Tornado, perhaps?

But all of this brings us to the most controversial move Gunn makes.

And I'm actually all for this. Kind of.

Look, I love G.I. Robot, but it's literally in his character to die. Nearly every single iteration of G.I. Robot has been destroyed at least once, only to be rebuilt and sent into commission with a new name and new identity. This is exactly what to expect from G.I. Robot. Now, should he have died in episode 3 of the series? Well, that's arguable. Unfortunately, the way this series is structured makes this the perfect story moment for him to die dramatically in order to forward the mission. Definitely made me sad, because I love this character, and Sean Gunn plays him incredibly well, but I get it.

However, this does expose a real problem with this series, and Gunn's treatment of the Creature Commandos as a group. Fact is, Gunn is still running on Suicide Squad logic. And the Creature Commandos are not the Suicide Squad. The purpose of the Creature Commandos is, yes, to get the job done, but also to use literal and psychological warfare to interfere with the enemy. It's a horror story where we're on the side of the monsters. It is not a story of a group of criminals trying to get time off of their sentence by going into impossible scenarios, in which any of them could die. That's the Suicide Squad. And the fact that Gunn is willing to kill characters like this early in the series means that we're supposed to expect at least one of our new friends to die. And of course, if you've seen the series, you know how that ends.

And, as if fulfilling an age-olf prophecy...spoilers for the finale...

Yeah, G.I. Robot comes back. Least surprising move of the century, but an incredibly welcome one! Now in a modernized form that reminds me a bit of his Men at War/New 52 iteration, this golden dynamo is set to serve in the group for season 2, where he will probably die again, let's be honest here. But now, him dying would be a part of the joke, and will lose its gravitas as a result. Which is OK.

Fact is, I think this is the best adapted character in Gunn's series, and there isn't a hell of a lot I think needs changing, and the stuff I would change doesn't have to do with the character. Maybe push the Will Magnus timeline a couple of decades; kill G.I. Robot in the next episode by making this the eight-episode series it was clearly supposed to be; maybe get rid of Nina's maybe-romantic fascination with G.I. Robot (that went truly nowhere at all); maybe even bring the new form of G.I. Robot back during the season finale to participate in a final fight. But a lot of that is restructuring of the series as a whole, or changing characters around G.I., not G.I. himself. I actually think he's kinda perfect.

But before we sew up here, I'd like to put something forward in terms of my version of Creature Commandos. Because this episode opens up an opportunity that I'm somewhat sad wasn't actually explored: World War II.

If it isn't clear by now, World War II is sort of a big deal in DC Comics, both in and out of universe. One of the reasons that DC Comics (and superhero comics in general) rose into cultural prominence in the United States, as well as being a major time period in the DC Comics universe, this is a time that has gone untouched by live-action media. And I mean that. Even the CW series barely touch World War II outside of references or the occasional alternate future. It's a black slate, because I'm not sure anybody's been able to figure it out. And it's not impossible to do, by any means; just takes some creative work.

How powerful would it be for the future of the DCU if one of the focuses of Creature Commandos was on the history of the team, rather than just the individuals. And, more importantly, this means that the Creature Commandos exist independent of the Suicide Squad, and have a different tone to them altogether. It's entirely possible, of course, that I've just predicted Gunn's plans for season 2, as he could bring in elements of the original group for the next season, with out modern Creature Commandos dealing with something from that time period. And frankly, for my version, I know exactly how I'm setting this up, but that'll be a later essay. My point is, why not use the connection to World War II, as seen with G.I. Robot (and as COULD have been seen with the Frankensteins), and give us both references to the original Creature Commandos, and the intricate history that was World War II in DC Comics. A missed opportunity, is all I'm saying here.

But regardless, that's the end of this essay; I'll elaborate more on this in the future. But next time...well, I guess it's time to talk about this character, and his confusing place in this story, as well as his genuinely interesting backstory. Next time, episode four, Chasing Squirrels, starring another of Gunn's seemingly favorite characters: Weasel.

See you next time (maybe, no pressure)!

Part One: Introduction and Adaptation Part Two: The Original Creature Commandos Part Three: Amanda Waller and Rick Flag, Sr. Part Four: The Frankensteins Part Five: G.I. Robot Part Six: Weasel Part Seven: Doctor Phosphorus Part Eight: Mermaid Part Nine: Circe Part Ten: The Princess Part Eleven: An Alternate Story: Purist Team (next) Part Twelve: An Alternate Story: Creative Team (soon)