We've gotten only two(2) chapters of the sequel so far and I personally think, the stage for the next arc is already set.
Given does follow a pattern in story-telling if you pay attention to it. And it does address one issue a couple (the main two couples) at a time meticulously.
The first arc was about RitsuMafu, and the plot was Mafuyu falling in love with Ritsuka and being forced to face his trauma from his ex's suicide and doing whatever was needed to move on from it, taking first steps towards healing.
Likewise the second arc was about AkiHaru, and the plot was Akihiko realising the extent of his feelings for Haruki and being forced to face his trauma of being in a longterm abusive relationship and doing whatever was needed to break free from the toxic cycle he was stuck in.
The third arc got a bit complicated with Hiiragi being mixed in the equation of RitsuMafu. Hiiragi introduced the problem that RitsuMafu were to face and got a subplot of his own (that's also still ongoing).
But essentially the third arc can be seen as divided in two parts the two parts that the two movies are covering. 1) 'Hiiragi_mix' as in the first part where Hiiragi (and Shizusumi) successfully did recreate the traumatic experience for Mafuyu again to face knowingly or unknowingly. And 2) 'to the sea' where RitsuMafu had to face that situation and prove the strength of their love and mettle of their characters to overcome the challenge.
But more importantly the main objective of that arc was Mafuyu getting full closure, not only from Yuki, but from the effects of trauma and grieving and the guilt that comes with it. As well as having to face the issues that traumatic experience gave him, as in his doubts about expressing himself, his doubts about his own worth as opposed to what he brings to table musically for Ritsuka, his hesitation of letting go of Yuki fully etc. These were all the issues that his previous relationship gave him. The unsurity of it all and the persistent feeling of fear of doing something wrong again with the everpresent feeling of perpetual shame and guilt for forgetting a person who for sure for a period of time he thought of as essential for his own existence. There's also been hints of his complex regarding Hiiragi specifically. Hiiragi is always being described as charismatic. Everyone thinks so. He has 'star quality' which Mafuyu probably fears(feared) he lacks. Yuki forming a band with Hiiragi wasn't easy for Mafuyu to take. Not in a toxic way, but in a deeply insecure way. We see him reacting oddly to Ritsuka praising Hiiragi in any capacity. Trying to not feel pressured by it, wanting more of Ritsuka's attention to himself. Literally fidgeting.
Then the same Hiiragi's band won CAC against 'given' and right after that Ritsuka joined 'syh'.
To Mafuyu it probably felt like Ritsuka leaving the loser band and vocalist Mafuyu for the winner Hiiragi. Ritsuka admitted it himself, Hiiragi was cooler than he imagined. Hiiragi successfully intrigued Ritsuka too. And Ritsuka was won over by him because Mafuyu wasn't enough. He needed to sing, and he couldn't.
(And then they metaphorically did throw him in the sea too. It was awful but I digress 😑)
But anyway, all these issues, insecurities, the culmination of it ALL as well as all the stages of grieving for Mafuyu, they were all masterfully handled in the last arc. Or second RitsuMafu arc.
Now that brings us to the second AkiHaru arc and like it or not, just like how Mafuyu had to grieve properly and find closure from all his remnant issues from his previous relationship and childhood, Akihiko will also have to face the issues he is still carrying from his last relationship. The gaslighting that he endured, the misplaced guilt that he probably still feels, the fear of doing something wrong again to fuck it all up for himself and Haruki and probably the band too.
And believe it or not, we have already seen the seeds of it. Also, I personally think Ritsuka will be the catalyst of Akihiko's arc this time and we are gonna get the Ritsuka arc either mixed with Akihiko's one this time or right after.
Now let's see what we got thus far.
1) AkiHaru LDR. Akihiko's ring and them living separately even in Tokyo as well as Akihiko's little show of flirtation to get Haruki flustered.
All of these point to something that I'm sure most of the fandom is vaguely aware of but can't put their finger on surely.
I personally think these point to the issues Akihiko brought from his experience of being the victim in an abusive relationship.
LDR is simply him choosing to not sacrifice his music for the sake of his relationship. He learnt from his previous relationship that that's not the way he gets to retain himself much less his relationship.
The ring is the symbol of his clinginess, or his innate urge to belong. To belong to someone. But with that also comes his fear of binding Haruki unfairly to himself. His need to be clingy to Haruki is constantly at odds with his fear of somehow being codependent or worse still, making Haruki codependent on him. So he himself is donning a ring and showing it off but he doesn't want Haruki to, especially if Haruki doesn't by his own accord. Haruki didn't show him his own need to belong to Akihiko, he simply asked, (with a strange look on his face too if I may add) if he should also wear a ring, and Akihiko declined. No matter how dramatic he tried to make himself sound to Mafuyu that's the root cause of it.
Akihiko living separately even when in Tokyo too also probably comes from the same fear and deep rooted issues. He was at the receiving end of such a relationship once and it was excruciatingly painful for him. His ex leaving the country for months and then coming back to only have sex for a few days with him(and then kicking him out but he had been gaslighted to think all of those as his faults so we no talk about it yet) while he was stuck in a place full of memories and yearning for those times to come back again and feel the love and happiness...he doesn't want any of those to happen to Haruki. He knows living alone is better than living with memories.
So on one hand he is desperate to bind himself to Haruki, donning the ring, going broke just to see Haruki every week, still bringing Haruki coffee, on the other hand, he is trying to set Haruki as free as he possibly can. Living separately, not making him wear the ring.
He is also still an insecure jealous mess when it comes to Haruki. It started with the second chapter of given and it's still going on. Akihiko wants Haruki's attention to himself all the time. He also needs to know that he still is desirable to Haruki and that comes from his abandonment issues. His parents as far as he is concerned didn't want him the moment he became a liability and don't even let me start on his ex. So being able to make Haruki flustered still is important to him. the assurance that he is still needed and desired and it's not all been just a whim on Haruki's part, or if it were indeed a whim, it's still there as strong as it was the first day, Akihiko needs to be reassured of it from time to time.
In contrast, I know that most of the fandom will disagree with me but, Haruki's issues are nonconsequential at this point. Is he probably sad to see Aki go? He obviously is. He also is possessive with his 'insect repellent' comment and seeing Akihiko instantly changes his whole demeanor. But Haruki is essentially in his essence this chapter. Thinking and planning and working. Missing Akihiko is inevitable but I don't think it's death sentence for Haruki. A large part of what Haruki possibly feels in this situation we see from Ritsuka's POV which is a trick Kizu uses frequently to mislead readers. Ritsuka is projecting high key. He and Haruki are fundamentally different. So he should be treated as an unreliable narrator here.
I think the difference between how Ritsuka and Haruki work is that Ritsuka can be at ease knowing that Mafuyu is at home safe and he himself has Mafuyu to come back to while he goes work outside forgetting everything in the world.
But for Haruki, he considers himself to be the home and can wait for Akihiko to come back to him indefinitely as long as there's a promise of him coming back.
Which brings us to the issues of RitsuMafu or more specifically Ritsuka that's been shown in this chapter.
So the issue with 2) Ritsuka is that he has no issues. I know there are many fans who want Ritsuka to breakdown or cry etc but the truth is that Ritsuka has no problem except for his own tyrant king workaholic self.
In previous arc we did get some covers that made us question about Ritsuka's mental state. 👇🏼 The main one being the left one but the right one too.
It's more been the words written on the left cover that were vaguely worrying. For the first time we saw him thinking about Yuki and the fact that he had been a big part of Mafuyu's life. And I understand some fans being disappointed that we didn't see him ponder on it again.
But the truth is, Ritsuka is 1) too healthy an individual by nature and by nurture to constantly be worrying about things that he can't control. He'll always find a way to cope healthily whatever the outside world throws at him and he did find a way to get closure from Yuki the last arc, it was to help everyone Yuki left behind get closure from him. 2) If he really indeed has to confront Yuki then it'll come after he has worked on his own issues so we'll have to wait and see if that happens ever.
Now that being said Ritsuka also does have to confront and control his own self. As they say, even the best things can be too much. And Ritsuka always had been and right now (after ten years period) especially is under the danger of being too much. For himself and for others.
To put it simply, he is too good. Thinking of everyone and how to make them reach their full potential and thus pressuring himself and occasionally others especially the ones he loves.
This started ten years ago though. The inferiority complex of 'given' being thought of as inferior to 'syh', the guilt he felt leaving his own band to play for the rival band.
As well as his need to commit himself fully to things that he has committed once and his continuous need to challenge himself which doesn't let him go easy on himself a bit. His need to fix everything, every situation and his ability to do so ends up making him cornered more and more and it's been piling up.
There's also this thing that he is biased about 'given'. He considers it his 'own' band, while he feels responsible for 'syh' and isn't one to shrink from his responsibilities. He gives his 100% to make Hiiragi shine, he specifically does so because he knows Hiiragi's potential.
But that doesn't stop him from feeling guilt towards his own band and especially mafuyu.
Now here's the thing, Hiiragi is syh's vocalist while Mafuyu is Given's. And syh's style is populist style, it's not about quality, it's about taste and syh and Hiiragi appeals to public taste more.
In Ritsuka's own words, they are 'flashier' than 'given'.
And here comes the conflict for Ritsuka. He has truly no one else to blame for but himself. He has made Hiiragi a star and now he wants the same fame for his beloved aka Mafuyu. That's what they were arguing about.
He wants Mafuyu and 'given' to become even more popular. It's literally the conflict of interest and he is fighting himself on both sides.
Which brings us to Mafuyu at last. Mafuyu isn't buying this. And that's deeply satisfying and comforting. Mafuyu who once was scared of Hiiragi 'stealing' Ritsuka's attention, or being too charismatic now wants no part in competing with him. He isn't scared of Hiiragi's brightness anymore and is deeply secured in Ritsuka's affection to the point where he actively is fighting with Ritsuka about music and says that he doesn't need to stand out simply because it's not Given's style. It'll sound fake and fabricated he says. And I agree.
I think this is what Ritsuka's arc is gonna be about, at least for now. He's been putting himself on spot too much, he once had this realisation that just because something is popular with masses, it doesn't mean it sucks contrary to pretentious intellectual beliefs. All because of syh and Hiiragi.
He'll have to come back to his senses now and realise that on the other hand popularity isn't and can never be the criteria on how you create art. Given's style is simply different from what appeals to mass but that's what makes given unique.
The first time we see Mafuyu think about Yuki consciously in given is in code 4.
And what we see him thinking is that he doesn't feel lonely.
Mafuyu thinks here, even when he knows he'll never see Yuki again, he still doesn't feel lonely because he still carries something within himself that Yuki loved.
And this was Mafuyu being in denial about Yuki actually really being gone. He was still trying to rationalise it.
“I am not lonely!” he protests, “The person that I loved so much, couldn't just become nothing! As long as I'm here, he is here somehow!”
And he keeps carrying Yuki's guitar everywhere, symbolising that burden. That thing that Yuki loved, yes, but Mafuyu wasn't a part of.
__________________
Then the story progresses. Mafuyu learns to play guitar. Mafuyu makes new friends, he learns to smile again and be excited, he starts to fall in love again. He starts to heal.
THEN Fuyunohanashi happens.
And we see him starting the song with, “I'm not lonely”, again.
He is back there. He is protesting, “you are not gone! You can not be gone! You are still in my head! Everywhere you once were you still are!!”
He has healed meanwhile, yes, from when given manga started to when FnH happened, he has. But he still hasn't come to terms with it.
And then, while performing this song, while on stage, this sudden realisation strikes,
“I am so lonely” he thinks. He has started to realise that Yuki is fading, Yuki's memory, his presence that Mafuyu imagined, they're fading slowly, and that is sad! That's why he is lonely!
After the performance of FnH, Mafuyu thinks again, “I am not lonely”, and this time it's not regarding Yuki. This is the general feel of it, Mafuyu isn't lonely anymore. He has friends, he has someone new he loves, he has started to heal, and with that comes the feeling of guilt.
“I wish I could tell you this!” I wish I could find closure from you!
_______________________
And then we get the extra chapter 'Umi E'. Expanding on the on stage "I am so lonely" panel!
Mafuyu realised on that 'blindingly bright stage' what 'loneliness' means. It's the healing part of the trauma. It's the guilt of letting go of the person who isn't here anymore.
If Mafuyu forgets Yuki bit by bit, which will certainly happen, because people can't keep living with someone's vivid memories forever, then who'll remember the Yuki that only Mafuyu knew? He will really be gone forever! And thinking about that is sad! And THAT is loneliness.
_______________________
Mafuyu is still there during CAC. Even though he has moved on, even though he is totally in love with Ritsuka and committed to him, it still feels like betraying Yuki somehow. The more he grows, the more he changes, the more the distance with Yuki grows.
Remember, that line in yorugaakeru that literally says, “even though you're not here, I can still continue to live on, in the end, that's what makes me sad.”
This part of grieving isn't talked about as much as it should be. It's the guilt you feel when you heal.
_________________________
This brings us to the last arc of 'given'.
There were many things going on with RitsuMafu the last arc, but part of why playing 'Umi E' for Mafuyu without telling Mafuyu was bad idea was because it meant forcing Mafuyu to confront something that he had no intention of confronting just yet.
But turned out it was for the best. At least for Mafuyu to realise that he has actually really moved on. He doesn't feel guilt for letting go of Yuki anymore. From the time they performed YgA to the SYH concert, Mafuyu has healed more.
See, compared to the first 'to the sea' memories, the last 'to the sea' memories are so blurry! He really forgot the details!
It's just a vague feeling of nostalgia to Mafuyu now! And it's still anxiety inducing, yes, especially seeing that he was already dreading everything.
But there's no guilt to be found of letting go of Yuki. His only concerns are not being able to connect to Ritsuka now.
Yuki is not somewhere inside Mafuyu anymore, or he doesn't feel pressured to keep him close to heart anymore. He has accepted the truth. He has found closure. Yuki is a memory now. A fond memory, preserved in a song, the memories are blurrier still. And Mafuyu is happy with that. Forgetting the details doesn't make him lonely or guilty anymore.
Which is why the last chapter we got, where just after being confronted by 'Yuki's song', Mafuyu still isn't sad or guilt ridden at all, he is sparkling and eager to perform alongside Ritsuka, he is so happy that he almost proposed to him, is so special!
I hope fandom atleast noticed that during 'umi e' Mafuyu was actually drowning metaphorically and had to think of Ritsuka's face in Minato Mirai to try to keep himself grounded
(I think Ritsuka's voice helped him at last). And he started being lively only after 'umi e' ended and they played another song.
'umi e' wasn't something Mafuyu wanted or requested for. He was thrown into it. While already having an emotional crisis because things were reminding him too much of his past which he would've rather forgotten.
The memories were what he was thrown into! He was trying to fight them, find his bearing. He had to look away from it to look at the memory of Ritsuka's face when he confessed to Ritsuka, he was trying to cling to Ritsuka's memory to keep himself grounded. He was so brave and looking for Ritsuka to anchor him.
But it wasn't enough. See he was drowning still!
And then Ritsuka started singing.
Ritsuka saved him. Ritsuka's voice brought him back from a nasty panic attack, brought him back from giving up, because he could recognise the kindness, the love, however misguided.
Also if I may point it out, before Ritsuka started singing, no one even understood that it was indeed a love song! Mafuyu was drowning in grief, NOT in love.
Ritsuka's voice was what brought the love out. Because Ritsuka himself was the source of the love. And pulled Mafuyu out of 'the sea'.
I finally understood what these two covers back to back actually mean and I'm sorry for myself that it took me so long to realise this. 😦
The cover for Chapter/Code 3
The cover for Chapter/Code 4
These two covers always made me feel a bit uneasy since the cover for 'code 4' is self explanatory and gives us an easy understanding of how Akihiko and Ritsuka's relationship actually is but the cover for 'code 3' seems sus. I could never fully grasp what it's meant to suggest about Haruki and Mafuyu's relationship and until I understand the full meaning of things I can't stop thinking about them. So I had been brainstorming.
Let's first see what 'code 4' cover conveys. It's Akihiko carrying a box with ease (using one hand even help—) and also at the same time providing Ritsuka support (literally and metaphorically). Like, he is letting Ritsuka lean on him and talking to whoever is teasing him.
We know Ritsuka follows Akihiko to his work places since he "wanna be built like Kaji!" but this cover shows their chemistry fully. How Akihiko's style of helping is hands on.
Kizu used their workplace chemistry and how they work to show how their whole relationship works.
Now compared to this, since 'code 3' cover features the other two members of 'given', thematically speaking, it should also show their chemistry based on their work related relationship. And guess what, IT DOES!
First of all, I should've put more thoughts into them both holding job recruitment magazines (or whatever they're called).
This scenario indeed is job related. As in Mafuyu trying to find a job. But how does Haruki factor into it?
Remember in 'code 3' it was Haruki who suggested that Mafuyu gets a job.
And then in 'code 4', he was the ONLY one who knew about Mafuyu having an interview for the job.
(Then the conversation didn't focus on it and went to Ritsuka NOT knowing Mafuyu's email instead.)
But see the questions that arise and aren't answered clearly are the questions you should ponder about in given.
Haruki knew about Mafuyu's job interview because he was the one who recc'ed Mafuyu to the workplace.
Haruki likes to stay low-key and he isn't exactly a hands on kind of person. But he helps his bandmates with everything in his power while himself staying in the shadows. And he does that while taking their individual characters and styles and limits into consideration. Which is why we see him thoughtful and assessing Mafuyu here, while holding the magazine. Which job would be the best fit for Mafuyu? A kid who struggles with expressing himself?
And he finds the answer and he helps Mafuyu after thinking things through.
Akihiko's and Haruki's styles are totally different, and you could even say opposite of each other.
But yeah they are always there to help the two kids in their band and that's what these two covers are about.
I know we make fun of Akihiko tip toeing out of bath all the way to the entryway to eavesdrop on TakeHaru conversation but I personally think there's a reason Kizu put this scene there.
That being, Akihiko really really needed to know how Haruki's mental-emotional state was then. Don't forget Haruki was so down he didn't contact even Yatake from after c 20 to c 22.
'Radio silence' he said.
So there was no one around him if he spiralled and Akihiko couldn't leave him alone at that state.
Haruki is someone who suppresses a lot for others' sake. He fake laughs and a lot of time he does it so efficiently, his real emotions don't even leak. He was being nice and kind to Akihiko and wasn't one to hold things he did for him over Akihiko's head but he was suffering.
I know there's some resentment in fandom that Akihiko asked to stay at Haruki's after what transpired between them in code 20 but I think he did it more for Haruki's sake than his own. Haruki might've wanted him gone but he also needed him the most at that time. Even if just as a punching bag.
Remember Akihiko wasn't planning on staying at Haruki's when he waited for him to return after code 20's events. He just didn't want to miss Haruki and leave things like that between them.
After Haruki came back with his hair cut Akihiko probably understood fully how deep the hurt he caused went for Haruki.
Haruki was angry and hurting. Akihiko couldn't leave him alone at that state. Akihiko himself was almost at the verge of crying but he humbled himself to relinquish all power to Haru.
Then during code 21's events he understood that more than how Haruki blamed him, he blamed himself for being taken advantage of.
Akihiko was ready to be on the receiving end of Haruki's anger if that would have had made Haruki feel better but Haruki was self loathing instead.
Which made Akihiko angry on Haruki's behalf.
He was even smug to remind Haruki how much he was needed by his band members.
And this is where he actually fully offered to serve Haruki to make him feel better. To use his play boy charm to cheer Haruki up.
Which we know he managed to do successfully.
But still the fact remained that Haruki didn't contact his friends until code 22 so Akihiko really couldn't leave him alone.
This is when Take Chan made the house visit. And him being Haruki's best friend, there was a chance of Haruki opening up to him about his mental state more.
So Akihiko had to take the chance and he did. And whatever he got from that conversation made him stay at Haruki's for longer is what I believe. If he understood that Haruki really wanted him out of his hair, he would've. But that's not what he got from that conversation.
Let's talk about Yayoi, and what we understand of Akihiko and his changing feelings towards Ugetsu and Haruki through her eyes and behavior.
I call it the curious case of one Kaji Akihiko.
I feel like Yayoi has known Akihiko for longer than Haruki.
They're in the same year, so it seems feasible.
And one of Yayoi's first impressions of Aki was that he wouldn't hide whom he loved at all. His eyes always followed them.
(Yeah its not like he changed. its just that NOW HE CAN BE HIMSELF)
So she knew of Ugetsu and should've known that she had no chance right?
But still she jokingly confessed to Aki, and he turned her down.
Yet she didn't give up entirely.
I'm guessing Aki's behavior towards the person she thought he had a crush on changed somehow, and that gave her hope that she could still have a chance, even if a little bit?
So, even after she was rejected we had seen her riding together with Akihiko. Or them being friendly in the campus.
Akihiko seems pretty fond of her. He has a tendency of taking care of people he likes anyway. And he likes Yayoi, that much is evident.
So much so, that Haruki thinks that she is his girlfriend.
Akihiko's behavior is pretty curious here too. We know that he was trying to hide his shameful gigolo image from Haruki.
Like here, in this flashback, he noticed Haruki and he was all like, 'don't talk to me now.' to his companion.
It's more like he wants Haruki to notice him with this respectable beautiful girl, (who also happens to be Ritsuka's sister. Yayoi is NOT harmful for his image in front of Haruki.)
It's more or less clear that at this point of time Akihiko wasn't thinking of ever trying to woo Haruki, or date him. He was just hiding his true self and his ugly relationship and his shameful lifestyle from Haruki as not to make him hate him, or see him as inferior.
But it didn't change the fact that he was inadvertently falling in love with Haruki.
(Here's one thing I am sure of, Akihiko met Haruki right after Ugetsu broke up with him out of nowhere, and it was from the very first meeting that Haruki became his savior, his go to comfort blanket if you will.)
Well, so going back to Yayoi, she went to the summer competition, of course for Ritsuka, but more importantly to try to get closer to Akihiko.
She totally wasn't aware of Haruki at this time. But she was wary of Ugetsu, as she should've been. 🤷🏽♀️
Just look at her face when Ugetsu showed up here.
(Also notice Akihiko's expression here please! He is so on edge that Ugetsu actually showed up at his safe place, his band's performance! 😭 I always say every panel and every expression in given matters and just please please please pay attention to them.)
Ah! These panels are hilarious, they were funny the first time I read them, but in retrospect, they are even funnier.
Haruki jealous of the person he thinks is Akihiko's girlfriend, that alleged girlfriend Yayoi wary of the person she thinks Akihiko is in love with but may be slowly getting over.
And ugetsu all smug.
He has no idea what's gonna hit him LMAO.
Anyyyway, here's where things get interesting.
At this point Akihiko had trauma bonding with Ugetsu, but he had fallen in love with Haruki.
From right after Ugetsu showed up, Akihiko's behavior is noteworthy. He is on edge and extra clingy to Haruki.
Just look at his face here. He didn't have any reason to be that shaken here in normal circumstances.
And then in the very next panel we have this Yayoi, noticing the look on Akihiko's face looking at Haruki. We can't see his eyes, keeping true to Kizu's style.
But yeah it's the very next panels. And what she sees is Akihiko for no reason at all following Haruki like a lost puppy.
Really, he didn't need to follow Haruki like that that very moment.
Ritsuka had already took off, things had been taken care of.
He just needed to be closer to Haruki to calm his nerves, what with Ugetsu's presence putting more pressure on him.
And notice these panels of Yayoi, uncanny similarity with Ugetsu's "bye bye Akihiko" while he goes chasing after Haruki.
And then we see Haruki as the one totally in charge here. Looking after everyone, calming everyone down.
The moment Haruki is trying to go do things a little away from Akihiko, Akihiko is all like, I will go with you too!
He is not needed there, Haru isn't even looking at him, Take Chan is one of the organizers and obviously Haruki is the one to set everything up for their band.
He just can't be away from Haruki for a moment.
And he needs Haruki to look at him, pay attention to him.
Yes, he wants Haruki to know how important Haruki is for them and their band, but that's more for his own sake than Haruki's sake here.
Haruki might not have noticed, and we might have not noticed the first time reading it, but really, Haruki just saved Akihiko here again too. Not the band, but Akihiko himself.
And how cute is his “I might end up dying too?” Knowing full well Haruki would react the way he did? He just wanted Haruki to care for him😭
And Yayoi witnessed it, and witnessed Akihiko looking at Haruki during the performance. And how heartbroken she must had been, to know that Akihiko is surely getting over one person, but has fallen for another one like this, too deep, too desperate? And it's not her?
😭
Her love remained one sided.
Thank God for Take Chan!
He is way better for Yayoi than Akihiko could ever be anyway. 😭
~Some nagging questions about AkiHaru and how their story unfolded and is still ongoing~
An introspection
Haruki was satisfied with his one sided crush on Akihiko, or that's what he thought.
What triggered his feeling of loneliness and his desire to let go of this painful crush? Mafuyu's song.
And what did he think would make him feel better or help him let go? If he had a girlfriend.
During his confession, Akihiko said, Mafuyu's song triggered something in him and made him want to change.
That served as an epiphany for Haruki. See his wide eyed look here and then resignation?
He thought he understood Akihiko here or at least his motivation for choosing him.
It's the same as his own desire to get a girlfriend to let go of Akihiko finally.
Akihiko is similarly letting go of his unrequited one sided painful love for Ugetsu by choosing someone else aka Haruki.
When Akihiko said loving someone who doesn't reciprocate your feelings hurts too much, Haruki felt that.
He knows how much it hurts to not being able to let go. He tried and tried and couldn't let go of his love for Akihiko.
And he thinks that he and Akihiko are equals in their heartache, so Akihiko is in similar pain.
Even if his love wasn't reciprocated, even then if he could do something for Akihiko to lessen his pain he would do that in a heartbeat.
Which is why this almost nonsensical monologue of Haruki, (nonsensical because when did he ever hurt Akihiko even?) “I don't wanna hurt you anymore.” actually makes sense.
He saw Akihiko's fingers tremble.
He thinks Akihiko is in pain, and trying his hardest to start his life anew, he thinks Akihiko is trying to get over Ugetsu by focusing on him instead.
And if him being a replacement love lessens Akihiko's pain a bit then he is willing to take the chance.
Even though his love story is simple. Compromise on one person's end and being satisfied with being the second choice on the other person's, Haruki is ready to face that.
Now, obviously he is wrong and he is by no means a replacement. Akihiko had been crazy in love with him forever.
But he doesn't know how much Aki's been thinking about him or how much hurting him once made Akihiko change profoundly or how much he saved Akihiko from his cycle of abuse.
And these things are not really that much easy to communicate either. Aki can shout until he is blue in the face that he loves only Haruki and Haruki will smile and nod along and will even trust him but that doesn't change the fact that he'll probably still continue to think that this love is probably only a replacement for Akihiko.
He is content just to make Akihiko happy but if he thinks Akihiko's one true love might want Akihiko back or is actually in love with him then... Well, many things can happen.
Mafuyu's song really is magic. But it affects everyone differently. 😔
