#my goons

[mahgck]

homemade crab rangoons

[beoebe]

i don't care, imma keep using 'goon' to refer to my henchmen. it's part of the union contract whether you like it or not, evolution of slang be damned. they may be sexually perverse but that's not my concern and it's NOT.your place to shame them 🫵😠

[februscary]

My goons always talking bout “I know a guy, boss” WELL THEN KISS HIM!!!!!.!!!!.!

[groal-the-great]

Mista great boss man, are ya sure you don' need an Ibuprofen? Ya lookin' greena than usual

I am as green as i want to be mind your business

[sonicenjoyee]

here are my goobers with some facts

[the-names-fox]

Hey guys I just hired two new henchmen to help with this blog!

This is chainsaw he will remind me to post here! (If I don't post he'll eat me)

And this is bonesaw! He'll give me suggestions on what to post, he'll tell me to post stuff like "we should overthrow the government* and *buy more crypto*

They're discussing matters

[bisexualjohnnycage]

Rating my OC’s on how scary they are.

Lady Xuna: 6/10. Very tall and dominating lady. More intimidating than scary. Would want her to step on me and call me “darling”. Could probably crush a tank with her bare hands.

Viven Mortimer: 7/10. Big scary dude with bat wings. Holy hellish screaming demons. Lower score because he’s an actual softie.

Devyne Wiress: 9/10. No no no no. If you’re standing right in front of them then it’s too late. Unnerving looking dude even without their weapons and contortion. Stunning but creepy. 👌🏽

Lash: 4/10. 4 because his robotics parts can be a bit intimidating. Homie is pink and blue, he’s not scaring anyone until he really shows he can do. Would have a higher score if he showed off his body horror more Hehehehe.

Salvador: 7/10. Unhinged sadist with a God complex? Hot but stay away from me. Would startle me emotionally. But I am not gonna stick around for his backstory Nope.

Dr. Babs: 6/10. Helloooo handsome. Too hot to be scary. If he shows off what his potions can really do THEN he can get a higher score. Looks too tired to be scary.

Raptor: 8/10. Solid score on appearance alone let alone their scary freaking powers and creepy dialogue. Weird lizard thing please stay away. Keep your tail hook away from me please.

Harvestman: 7/10. Doesn’t look scary until you get past his thotty appearance. If you stop looking at his tits then you want to start running. Only downside to multiple mouths is the multiple sharp teeth. That’s a no no. Also, the apex predator vibes are significantly scary.

Goliath: 5/10. Not a scary looking fellow. Very tall and muscular? Yes. But he’s shaped like a friend! I would want a hug from him. But he could go either way.

Voss: 3/10. He shapeshifts to gain trust so he doesn’t look scary at all. Very handsome very mysterious. Would hold his hand and accidentally get my powers stolen.

Scorn: Ohhhh 7-8/10. Depende. One one hand, pretty lady! On other hand, she could pummel me to death (I would thank her). Very intimidating and very chaotic. Would be wary of her might. Scary to an extent. Still love her tho. <3

[ideficate]