idk what this is take it as a dump of thoughts (for myself but tune in if u want heh)
idk if i’ll tune in to riize’s cb. not bc i dont want to, i think i genuinely cant without feeling something deeper lol. atp im not taking the boycott as serious as i used to, and its not like im actively boycotting now, i just subconsciously avoid official or or6 stuff. i just see a few things on twt and am satisfied with what i see, i obv get urges to watch their content fully but i seriously cant bring myself to watch them🤣 probably bc everytime i see them (sadly enough) theres always a repeating voice in my head that says “sh isnt on hiatus anymore, hes actually left. theyre just six now” and it hurts like shittt bc i made it through all of last yr with the hope that i will finally see them all together again. so just knowing that the moment he’ll return will most likely never come and the reasons why just ruin my whole mood. and its just so weird bc i used to be fine watching and listening to them even without sh in them, i genuinely love all of riize thats why. so idk why i cant let go of this certain feeling. even now im only updated bc of twitter but thats it really. i thirst over them (as i probably always will) and see some pics they post, but their performances, content etc?i cant bring myself to see. and i feel bad i really do but i cant force myself to feel a certain way lol
so idk, maybe someday i’ll ‘move on’ and be able to watch and listen to them as unbothered as i used to but i dont think itll happen anytime soon. i cant let go of riize thats why easily -which is why ive stayed here for so long- but i cant deny that my interest or passion for them is decreasing LIIIIITTLE by little each day. i want to get back into them like i used to be so bad but wow idk this feeling is just so weird i cant describe it lol
i really want to stay with them and stan them for as long as i can tho so its a shame that some people had to ruin it for others bc of some silly reasons
ily riize i really do so so much, im sorry that a chunk of ur fans had to be assholes