#mycdiary

[incorrectbbcsherlockquotes]

These sound great already:) thanks for reccing them, I'll check them out.

[moonhuit]

Hey, I'm doing some research for a school project and I'm looking for people's opinions if you have time. What do you think about people judging people on their first impressions of them and basing their opinions on that rather than getting to know them before judging them ? What do you think about the phrase Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover and what it suggests about people ? Have you got any experience with being judged like that (if you don't mind sharing) and what did it feel like ? Thanks :D

Glad to help you in your school project! I’d have to divide things I guess — just to organize it a bit. And putting it on read more I guess , if you don’t mind. 

What do you think about people judging people on their first impressions of them and basing their opinions on that rather than getting to know them before judging them ?

First impressions are completely a natural in our everyday life, whenever we have new people entering our lives. Sometimes, we end up subconsciously inferring our first encounters with someone towards communicating with them, crossing out and checking on things our gut instincts may have gotten wrong or right. However, I don’t think it’s right to judge people only based from this first impressions we had with them. Since that’s just.. in all common sense, isn’t right and completely stupid of us to do. 

No one would like to be a subject of a hollowed definition of themselves. 

Judging someone is to form an opinion of them, what they could be/may be or not. But is it bad? Not necessarily in my opinion; it’s not bad it in its own but only in the way we do it. 

We all judge each other one way or another after all. And it all lies in us whether that may be a good thing or bad thing. 

( I do believe on a side note, that gut instincts– whatever it may be bad/good– if you feel it towards first meeting someone, they somehow happen to be right, half-right sometimes. Just sometimes. It’d mean I have too many sometimes though. ) 

 What do you think about the phrase Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover and what it suggests about people ?

I grew up with that phrase plastered in my head. It was helpful. You could stay a lot out of trouble with that kind of mantra, growing up. It’s kinda ironic that people do not like being judged or at least know they’re being judged, but will somehow judge their own. I don’t know why we do it or tend to like it that way, not knowing,  ignorance may be bliss.

I was once told a story about a teacher holding up a weary book, he asked his students what color do they see, they answered ‘black’. The teacher disagreed with them and said he sees red. There was a little spark of disagreement, of course, one would expect a book to be covered in one color as an old book would have. Then the teacher made the back face his students, and they all somehow calmed down, for their teacher was right and that it was red– in the back however– point being, just because you do not see ‘this’ side of someone, its false/fake, each individual has different sides that they show to people they interact with and has every right to complain about being generalized and everything that encompasses that.Or simply assume that just because the front is black--the back has to be black as well. 

Though, admittedly, we tend to over complicate those ‘special’ traits, while it may be true, it might lead us to become conceited/egotistical/narcissistic. It just might though, it doesn’t have to be the case most of the time. 

Have you got any experience with being judged like that and what did it feel like ?

I did ask my classmates before what did they initial thought of me, and they said I was very intimidating…which I somehow am, I’m not fond of lax even though I was raised in laxness. Some said I looked like I could be approached, perhaps because they saw me talking to other people in all my friendly glory. When I’m alone, that’s usually when I’m intimidating and would look like I’d bite the hell out of anyone who approaches me. 

Well, like I said earlier, we all do it some other way, it’d be too hypocritical of me to say it’s bad. It wasn’t bad. But it wasn’t good either. I merely chose the neutral stand about the subject; it's in my own power whether to let waht they think of me define me or not. Yet at the same time, we do care about what other people think of us, so it cannot be helped. 

The only thing I’m not fond of are people judging me in a dehumanizing way, which they have done quite a lot, I don’t know what I did to them but it seems that all they saw was the darkness in me and hated my whole being. I consider this a bad thing, not only it isn’t nice it’s downright twisted and mostly, in my case, driven by insecurity. 

Welp, no one likes being dehumanized apparently. 

[undiagnosedautismfeels]

Tuafw you can memorise shit like whole episodes of Sherlock and half the periodic table without even meaning to but you have no idea what day it is or what you had for dinner last night.

[imaginemycroftholmes]

Hey, I'm doing some research for a school project and I'm looking for people's opinions if you have time. What do you think about people judging people on their first impressions of them and basing their opinions on that rather than getting to know them before judging them ? What do you think about the phrase Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover and what it suggests about people ? Have you got any experience with being judged like that (if you don't mind sharing) and what did it feel like ? Thanks :D

The practice ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ is easier to say than it is to do for anyone as we all (and I do mean ALL) of us carry one bias or prejudice based on things we may have been raised on, introduced to or lived in our early years.

It’s pretty much the love child of nature and nurture.

the practice is almost impossible to ignore when we as a people evolved and grew our cultures from those very bias that we have when we first encounter new people. That being said its not necessarily a SMART thing to do but we as people have to struggle to overcome it or we’ll never reach some semblance of peace or prosperity.

It should be and foremost, a personal responsibility to overcome and fight for however, not everyone believes that because sometimes there is a grain of truth to it for every one in a million case but I digress. 

Hell, there will even be some places that will judge you negatively no matter what you do based on personal biases but I’ll get to that later on.

First Impressions are important because people as a whole seldom change their opinions on someone when they screw up on the first meeting, take my example with England starting trade with Japan.

There was certainly judging on both parties side. The Japanese thought they were odd with their coloring and their confusing exotic clothing that seemed to have so many layers/straps whereas the English thought their simple clothing was a bit plain but pretty nonetheless.

Despite them both seemingly foreign looking dress they both got on fine (plus the fact that they were giving them guns and western medicine to help keep the peace) and it helped that they (at the time) had similar backgrounds like having a monarchy and code of conduct.

Had this meeting been anything less than prefect there we would not have had the same super power that entered into the pact to become an Axis power with Italy and Germany during WWII as they would have lacked the technology (without stealing it from China) to stand.

As for personal experience I have had plenty coming to the United States as a child. Since my family was pretty poor (as in living out of our backyard garden and a slice of bread was considered a 'snack’) I was unable to attend a good school where I wouldn’t have faced many bias based on my looks or ethnicity.

I was placed in a school that was almost an hour and a half way from my home (back then I didn’t have too many choices and this was the closest one at the time that wasn’t a private one) so my parents had to drop me off really early so they could get to work on time which left me at the mercy of what would be my bullies who only saw me as ’some rich fat white girl with glasses that had parents.’

It didn’t matter to them that compared to the majority of students who were mostly black or Hispanic from lower income (like myself) that I was the minority here or the fact that we weren’t well off as much as they wanted to pigeon hole me into being some great offender for daring to be half European and Japanese and abuse me thusly until some very dark things happened that I rather not discuss fully because I just got back on some of my medication.

Anyway I felt like crap, wanted to die, attempted to at least twice and assaulted with a gun  despite me being outwardly friendly and kind on the first day.

Now here’s where it comes in that some people will never change their first impressions based on their bias.

In that particular school no one gave a damn if I was the real victim that deserved some sort of help because of the bias they had toward anyone that could be considered 'white’ or deviated from what they all collectively thought was the 'norm’ for certain groups.

The principal did not care because I was ’one white girl in the sea of so many troubled youths’, the vice principal did not care because 'if I’m that weak I should just transfer out to a white school’ and the school safety officer did not care because 'they just foolin’ around and I need to get used to it.’

This is what judging a book by its cover looks like-it comes in all different colors and sizes without taking them as individual cases as they come.

NO ONE IS IMMUNE TO IT AND NO ONE IS FREE FROM SIN FROM IT.

NO ONE.

I don’t care what race, age, religion, gender, orientation, disability or class you come from you all have a bias that causes you to judge someone in one way or another.

The people that refuse to acknowledge and work on those bias are potentially more racist and will not hesitate to pass on those tendencies to their families which makes them gross and dangerous to anyone that refuses to follow their line of thought.

Can we help them?

We can try but it all depends on whether or not they WANT to change. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. All you can do is try and wait but screaming at the horse to do it certainly won’t help.

The best that anyone can do fro people like that is to continue to work on them without coming off as holier-than-thou until they see the error of their ways and become a more open minded person and if they don’t-well, at least you can say that you tried.

We, as a people need to recognize that we all hold certain biases and learn to overcome them lest we end up with more traumatized children like me who may not seek help to overcome that trauma which will then lead to more biases against the group in question that created the bias that will continue the cycle until the end of time.  

It’s easier said than done but god knows we (and I mean EVERYONE-not just cis-white men that Tumblr seems to think is the #1 problem of the entire world, I mean EVERYONE)  need to fix it.

'Don’t judge a book by its cover’ should be an every day practice we should all keep if not for us but the betterment of the world.

-M

[undiagnosedautismfeels]

Tuafw your SI is BBC Sherlock and normally you just info dump of anyone who is even slightly prepared to listen but with the new season out everyone's talking about it and you're not being a weirdo by constantly going on about it. - MH

[undiagnosedautismfeels]

Tuafw you try to write down what happens to you when you have meltdowns so your friends can try and understand but writing it sends you in to a really bad meltdown and everything's so bad and you wonder why this has to happen to you. -MH

[undiagnosedautismfeels]

Tuafw BBC Sherlock is your SI and there is so much wierd crap going on with that rn with two episode leaks and millions of unanswered questions and you're just curled up in a ball panicking because you have no idea what's real and what isn't anymore.