Poly- What I need
I need openness. I need open honest communication. I need everyone to be straight forward about there feelings, fears, insecurities and needs from me.
For me poly is a network of people at varies levels and different relationships building a foundation of love. This includes friends, relationships and everything inbetween.
I think every new relationship should be a conversation but only the parties involved get the final say. I Think that if one person is uncomfortable they should be able to voice their concerns and the parties involved should try to lessen the concerns or deal with them however they can.
I do not know how to do primary. I keep thinking I can do it but in my head relationships are fluid. They move and change with the people. Some relationships are meant to be long term and others are not and sometimes they are not the ones you think. I feel like for me the essence of primary limits too many things. It puts too much stress on one relationship to succeed more than any others. It restricts other relationships from being able to be on the same level. I know this is the idea behind it. To put one relationship first. To add security that that relationship will take priority over another. But I cannot give that guarantee. My relationships flow like I do. Some days I want to spend more time or energy on one relationship and other days I think that way about a different one. Because I get such different things out of each relationship I feel like picking “favourites” just doesnt work for me. That isn’t to say that I don’t see different futures with different relationships. It is only to say that I do not like setting limits like that.
Another problem I have with the label primary is that all of my relationships right now are at less than a year. The label primary is a commitment I am not ready to make with any of my relationships. They are all too new. I do not know what is going to happen a month from now or six. But relationships are barely even real before a year. Primary to me is a commitment to put on person before all others. how can I make that commitment without even knowing if the relationship is real.
