#mypoly

[ponderingpoly]

Adventures in Polyamville

This weekend polyamory meant sitting awkwardly while he and his wife catch up when she gets home, and I've only just met her.

It involved plans changing after dinner and her girlfriend won't be showing up and now it's the three of us. Awkwardly.

Polyam included their kid screaming whenever he's alone with (awkward) me for the first 24 hours, and loving the scribbles he left in my journal.

It was leaving with a smile on my face and in my heart, because even in all my awkwardness it was a good time.

Polyamory this weekend left my self protective anxiety in a tizzy because rational brain is all for this guy, but my emotional heart is scarred and tired and fierce.

Today polyam meant acknowledging and hearing my anxieties. I found myself considering my feelings and thoughts without fixing them. Within lay healing hurts, hard truths, and even a few boundaries.

Laying in bed tonight my polyamory means fiercely choosing love.

[mukiiamistown]

The family new addition: Aden and Kasey!

[mukiiamistown]

Zeus Pierson: Laid-back, Talented, Natural Gamer

Zeus was a orphan as a child but he never that slow down his life. He always had plenty of friends, inside and outside, the orphanage. His dream was to become a famous gamer or internet star so he can help out others that helped him in the past. Once he left at 18, he went through some good and bad times, like being robbed a few times or meeting his two loves of his life (Asher & Jay).

[mukiiamistown]

Jay Pierson: Daydreamer, Creative Visionary, Cheerful

Jay had always lived the typical rich boy life with trips every week and big allowances. His parents wanted him to take over the family business but he wanted to be an art teacher and stay out of the spotlight his parents put him in. While traveling on his own, he spotted a short boy (Zeus) playing with some neighborhood kids and it was love at first sight.

[mukiiamistown]

Asher “Ash” Pierson: Player, Tinker, Shrwed

Asher grow up in a rough small town with a single father who always made sure he knew how to make some money for himself when he passed away. In his teen years, he was making money by fixing up electronics and by fate one of his regulars was his now baby, Zeus.

[mukiiamistown]

Been awhile since I’ve posted..But I’ve been playing with a new fam.

Meet My Poly Family, The Piersons.

[secretesp]

Poly- What I need

I need openness. I need open honest communication. I need everyone to be straight forward about there feelings, fears, insecurities and needs from me. 

For me poly is a network of people at varies levels and different relationships building a foundation of love. This includes friends, relationships and everything inbetween. 

I think every new relationship should be a conversation but only the parties involved get the final say. I Think that if one person is uncomfortable they should be able to voice their concerns and the parties involved should try to lessen the concerns or deal with them however they can. 

I do not know how to do primary. I keep thinking I can do it but in my head relationships are fluid. They move and change with the people. Some relationships are meant to be long term and others are not and sometimes they are not the ones you think. I feel like for me the essence of primary limits too many things. It puts too much stress on one relationship to succeed more than any others. It restricts other relationships from being able to be on the same level. I know this is the idea behind it. To put one relationship first. To add security that that relationship will take priority over another. But I cannot give that guarantee. My relationships flow like I do. Some days I want to spend more time or energy on one relationship and other days I think that way about a different one. Because I get such different things out of each relationship I feel like picking “favourites” just doesnt work for me. That isn’t to say that I don’t see different futures with different relationships. It is only to say that I do not like setting limits like that. 

Another problem I have with the label primary is that all of my relationships right now are at less than a year. The label primary is a commitment I am not ready to make with any of my relationships. They are all too new. I do not know what is going to happen a month from now or six. But relationships are barely even real before a year. Primary to me is a commitment to put on person before all others. how can I make that commitment without even knowing if the relationship is real.