#myfinn

[bubblychinay]

Fan girling with a 15-year-old boy 😍 #strangerthings #myfinn ❤

[babaengnilokomo]

Everything reminds me of you.

Tuwing makakabasa ako ng love posts, laging ikaw naaalala ko eh. Actually, yung mga sweet gestures nga na gustong maranasan ng ibang babae, naranasan ko na sayo. Tulad lang nung mga simpleng bagay na gaya ng paghawak ng kamay ko tuwing magkasama tayo. Kahit san pa yan, public man o private, gusto mo laging hawak yung kamay ko. Yung tuwing bababa ako ng jeep, iaabot mo pa sakin yung kamay mo para makababa ako ng maayos. Yung mga panahon na kapag sabay tayo pumasok, lulutuan mo ko ng lunch kasi alam mong kuripot ako at mahal ang pagkain sa caf; may kasama pang sweet note sa loob. Yung aantayin mo ko ng ilang oras para lang maihatid mo ko sa bahay at masiguradong safe ako makakauwi. Yung ipagmamalaki mo ko sa mga friends mo. Yung sa sobrang pag-aalaga mo sakin, dadalhan mo ko ng pagkain sa bahay ng 12mn kasi nai-tweet ko na nagugutom ako. Yung kahit wala akong ayos, sasabihin mo pa rin na ako yung pinakamagandang babaeng nakita mo. Yung araw-araw mong sasabihin at ipaparamdam sakin kung gano mo ko kamahal.

Nakakamiss. Sobrang nakakamiss yung pagmamahal mo. Kaya tangina talaga eh, sobrang sakit lang isipin na wala na tayo. Halos lahat na lang yata ng nakikita ko ipinapaalala ka sakin. Haaaay. Mahal pa rin kita. :( Sobrang hirap mag-move on ng ganito.

[babaengnilokomo]

Sometimes I wish I can still have you back But then I remembered how you managed to hurt me for countless times And I can’t put myself through that pain again I’m just starting to pick up these little shattered pieces of my heart And I can’t let you help me I will never trust you with my heart Not anymore

[babaengnilokomo]

'Yung hihintayin ka niya kahit pa 3 hours yan, magkasabay lang kayo umuwi.

[babaengnilokomo]

'Yung sobrang hilig niyang hawakan yung kamay mo. Na minsan kahit kumakain, magkaholding hands pa rin kayo.

[babaengnilokomo]

#littlethings

Posts under this hashtag are just some of the sweetest things Finn did to me when we were still together. I don't know why do I even bother to post these here but these sweet gestures are so important to me because it serves as a reminder that for a little while, someone managed to make me feel really, really special and loved.

[babaengnilokomo]

My finn.

I used to blog about him in my previous blog. And re-reading those posts makes me long for him all over again. Not because I want him back, but because of what he used to make me feel. I am so darn happy that time. I know I’m being stupid again for feeling this way, but I know I’ll get over with it.

I never thought he would cheat on me. For three fucking times. I let the first one go just because I fucking love him so much. And I was too stupid for letting him do it for the second time and so motherfucking stupid and crazy for letting him do it for the third time.

But then one day, I woke up. I woke up realizing how shitty our relationship has been, and how shitty he is for me. Then the next logical thing to do is to break up with him, and I did.

And now, he wants me back. After being wasted for days, fucking different girls for days, he begged me to get back to him.

I hate him so much right now to be honest. For being so stupid; for lying to me; for hurting me so much; and for acting like a douchebag rather than proving to me that our relationship is worth fighting for, like what he used to tell me. I fucking hate him right now and I just really need to get this off my chest. It’s so damn hard hating him, and still loving him at the same time.

[babaengnilokomo]

No matter how many times I tell myself to just fucking move on..

I can’t somehow manage to do it. My heart still screams for you. You’re all I ever want and it is too depressing knowing that we both fucked it all up.