My Future || MKL
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p a i r i n g: mark lee x reader
g e n r e: angst ~ bf!mark, idol!mark
w o r d c o u n t : 1.3k
a/n: this is my first written type of story and i’ve been interested in writing and how well i could write a short story so :( i’m so sorry if it’s bad , it’s my first time so.. and also i live for mark angst. i got the idea from listening to my future and i have sort of have an idea to continue this with a part 2 w/ try again by d.ear and jaehyun 😳 maybe... THIS WAS NOT PROOFREAD SORRY >.<
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I can't seem to focus
And you don't seem to notice
I'm not here
I'm just a mirror
You check your complexion
To find your reflection's all alone
I had to go
You stand in front of Mark, trying to grab his attention for the past few hours of him being in your apartment. Being the one to initiate everything is getting difficult, especially when he’s out traveling around the world, being able to only visit every once in a while. Is it that hard to give you at least one second of his day? Is it even worth trying anymore?
“Mark, can you… um… do you want to go out for food?” You ask him while looking down at your fingers. You tuck your hair behind your ear before looking up back to him only to see that he’s still on his phone while laying on his back on your bed. You sigh. Getting up to collect your things, you grab your bag on your way towards the door of your room. Mark finally notices you get up and gets startled.
“Where are you going?” He questions. You ignore him and put your shoes on. He stares at you sitting on the couch of your bedroom. “Out.” You stated. Mark raises an eyebrow at you, completely confused on why you’re acting the way you are.
“Out where? Why didn’t you ask me?” You turn to look at him quickly, anger rising in your veins. You’ve had enough. Enough of him blaming you for the littlest things you’ve asked for him to do with you. You barely ever ask him for anything and he couldn’t do you the favor of listening to you about your need for him.
“Are you serious, Mark? I’m tired! I’m tired of trying to get you to listen. I’m-” You stop to look at him. His eyes are wide open, his phone no longer in his hands.
“I’m tired of having to try to get your attention and asking you for the smallest things that shouldn’t be a big deal. You can’t even come over without you being on your phone the second you get here! When was the last time we went out on a date?” You continue to bash him. You have never wanted to hurt him, ever. But you had enough. Maybe it’s time you focus on your future. A future without him.
Can't you hear me?
I'm not comin' home
Do you understand?
I've changed my plans
Mark just stares at you completely speechless. You smile distastefully, knowing he wouldn’t even open his mouth to say anything. He knows you're right, you don’t need him to open his mouth. He probably didn’t hear a single word fly out of your mouth.
“I’m going out. When I come home, I don’t want to see you in my place anymore.” You say while tears spring in your eyes. Mark scrambles out your bed to reach towards you. Backing up to get away from him stepping closer, you hold your hand out in front of you.
“Y/n, please, I promise-”
“Mark, don’t try to make this any harder for us. Please. I can’t. I’m done being the only one to try at this point. You’re only now noticing and begging for me to not leave because I finally spoke up.” You said.
“I swear, I’ll pay attention. I never meant for us to get this far-” He pleads.
“Don’t you get it? I don’t want this anymore, Mark,” You raised your voice while gesturing you two with your hand. “Not now, at least.” You sighed. His doe-eyes that you love so much managed to have tears in them.
“Please, please don’t leave me, Y/n. I love you so much, I swear.” Mark cries. He’s on the ground, on his knees holding your hands. You don’t know to feel at this point, so you step back and his hand drops yours.
'Cause I, I'm in love
With my future
Can't wait to meet her
And I, I'm in love
But not with anybody else
Just wanna get to know myself
“I don’t think you love me. Maybe you just felt lonely and needed somebody to fill that space for you. That somebody was me. If you really did love me, I don’t think you would’ve put me through what led us to now.”
Mark sniffles and gets up. You turn around to walk out to your living room and head towards the kitchen. Grabbing a cup for water, Mark needs it afterall to calm down his nerves. Maybe it was too much? But then again, when has he thought about your feelings?
Thinking about it now, you basically put your all into this relationship. Never thinking about what you wanted to do with your future. All you saw in your future, or did see-- was Mark. And what a dangerous thought that was for you to have. Walking back to your room, you see Mark sitting on your bed once again with his head in his hands.
“How did we get here? How did we get to this point, Y/n? Help me understand where we went wrong-” Mark stumbles.
“It wasn’t me. For once, don’t put the blame on me,” You shake your head with tears in your eyes.
I know supposedly I'm lonely now (lonely now)
Know I'm supposed to be unhappy
Without someone (someone)
But aren't I someone? (Aren't I someone? Yeah)
I'd (I'd) like to be your answer (be your answer)
'Cause you're so handsome (you're so handsome)
Mark gets up from your bed and walks towards your door before stopping halfway to look at you looking down at your shoes while you play with your fingers. He smiles sadly knowing that it’s a habit of yours. You hear his footsteps continue till you finally hear your front door close.
That’s when the tears finally start to pour like heavy rain and it all hits you at once. You feel relief. All the struggles are finally over. You shouldn’t be feeling like this, you should be feeling like a piece of you just died. The most important person you used to see in your future has just left and you feel relief. What a horrible person you were.
But I know better
Than to drive you home
'Cause you'd invite me in
And I'd be yours again
‘I should have driven him home’ you think. Afterall, you did just break his heart. But you knew yourself better than he did because he would’ve convinced you to stay. Sometimes, it was just so difficult to resist Mark. All those times he forgot to show up for your dates, you would be at your apartment falling asleep to the sound of Netflix playing in the back. He would apologize the next day and you never wanted to accept it so easily but somehow, you always managed to withhold that grudge.
Your phone begins to ring and you assume it’s Mark so you decide to give him one last snippet of your voice before hearing of him again. You answer.
“Y/n, please, please don’t give up on us,” Mark whispers. You sigh and close your eyes prepared to say your final words.
But I, I'm in love (love, love, love, love)
With my future
And you don't know her
And I, I'm in love (love, love)
But not with anybody here
I'll see you in a couple years
“Listen, Mark. I’m only going to say this once more. I love you, I did. I never once gave up on us, but this was the last straw. I can’t handle being in a relationship by myself. Not now. I hope you manage to find someone who will be able to handle your career and I hope you will treat them so much better than you did to me. Maybe I’ll see you in a couple years. Maybe then we can have our happy ending,” Your voice trembled.
“Goodbye, Mark.”
“Y/n, no wait-” Mark tries to finish before you hang up the phone hearing the last of him.