As I have been reminded multiple times, today would have been my wedding anniversary. My four year wedding anniversary. It feels juvenile even typing that because I don’t care about that anymore, it doesn’t define who I am. It doesn’t mean anything. I didn’t even know that’s what today was until Facebook memories told me. It’s just kind of a weird cathartic feeling knowing that it’s been four fucking years. And also knowing that I can say “I’m okay, I don’t even care” and really fucking mean it.
I can go on about how proud I am of myself. How hard I’ve worked to make the life I have, the life I’m proud of. Because four years ago if I could have known where I would be, lord. I wouldn’t have believed it. Career I love, man I love, life I’m proud of. It’s so strange. Because up to this point I’ve known I’ve been doing so well. But a few days ago I removed someone from my life who should have been removed a long time ago. And now I have and like, holy fuck. It’s a sign. I met that toxic person almost exactly four years ago & now I remember I got married around this time. It’s like God is telling me, you passed this test. You get to move on now.
I can’t illustrate to anyone except for myself how important this is, and how good of a feeling it is, but damn I feel good. I feel proud. I feel like I can breathe and move on with my life now.
I just wanted to talk to myself about it, and you guys I guess.
