#mystiles

[fracturedlights]

Went scrounging for some really old doodles relating to some species in OSF. Bit of this is kind of outdated so I intend on remaking some of it but thought you guys would like to see these! :]

[princessnamora]

Incorrect Quotes: Teen Wolf + Bob’s Burgers

[alecslightwood]

The Farewell Teen Wolf Challenge: Day 1&2 ↳ Favorite Teen Wolf boy "So Stiles, great kid, zero ability to focus, super smart, never takes advantage of his talents."

[alwaystheproblem]

Almost 1 year.  Almost 1 year to the day that I sent you that message on Instagram.  It’s funny because I had only found out like a few days before that you were single.  I can remember sitting in that office, talking to those other people in your area.  I specifically came down there to shoot the shit and creep on you a bit more.  You hadn’t walked by at all that day.  You were flustered with work and obvious some nonsense going on outside of work.  I just wanted to see you.  Cause an accidental run-in.  Force us to have to speak.  All my other attempts had failed.  I was chicken.

Sitting in that office talking smack with those acquaintances was exhilarating because I was prying.  I was being nosey about everyone but especially you.  Then I heard it.  You were single.  And from the sound of it you were still having trouble with... well we both know now what was going on.

I was leaving that weekend to go to a wedding for a close family friend.  Someone I grew up with really.  I decided that I was going to finally reach out.  But I couldn’t stand the thought of being rejected at work... too embarrassing and not the right place to try to open that door.  I was chicken.  So I decided that while I was safely out of state I could message you.  And if you were uninterested or something that message could be deleted and that would be the end of it.

I was in the car on the way to the wedding on the 18th.  I felt good.  Loved my dress.  My hair was doing what it wanted but it wasn’t flooffed so I was good.  My makeup was pretty much how I had hoped it would turn out.  I still don’t really do my makeup that often.  No need really.  I like it sometimes to accentuate certain features, but really I just wanted to do it because of the occasion.  So I was ready.  I shakily typed up that silly message and hit send.  If that boy wasn’t sitting next to me in that car to tell me about Legos and his new favorite cartoons I am sure I would have flipped out.  I was shocked when you replied so quickly.

I was so excited that you did.  I really didn’t think you were going to.  Before long we had exchanged numbers and spent the rest of the day and evening texting back and forth.  I was elated.  You had been cleaning up at your prior residence and said that you were happy to be reached out to.  It was the best feeling in the world.  We agreed that we would meet up after work for the Pulse March.  I was so stoked.

When I got in to work after my weekend away your smiling face was there.  I didn’t have to watch you walk by wondering about you anymore.  We were able to talk more and it was amazing.  Not long after that initial conversation I pimped out your desk for your birthday.  Your reaction was priceless.  Only about a week later did we make it official.  June is a good month for us for many reasons.  It’s the beginning.

I’m glad to be on this journey with you.  You make things exciting and fun.  You are sexy as hell and more caring than I ever could have expected from anyone.  I’m grateful that I took that step that day.  Almost a year now.  Looking forward to so many more.

[princessnamora]

Get to Know Me Meme: 2/7 Male TV Characters - Stiles Stilinski, Teen Wolf

Guess what? All of us can't be true alphas. Some of us have to make mistakes. Some of us have to get our hands a little bloody sometimes. Some of us are human!

[alwaystheproblem]

The Life

It’s been a busy day.  Busy week.  Busy month and it’s only the 1st.  HA!

Summer is almost over, which means I get a week off.  WOO!  Then Fall starts... so I hope that after we finish setting up that I don’t lose track again.

Work is work... but it’s a great job and great pay and we are already doing great things together.  It’s unbelievable to have someone to go through life with and make positive strides instead of having to follow them around, picking up the pieces in the wake of their destructive behavior.  That is new for me.

The baby has arrived and he is perfect.  Dimples, light hair, 10 fingers, 10 toes, 2 eyes and one perfect nose.  He is a gift.

We may be able to add to our family in the next few years.  That would be amazing.  I wish we could without assistance.  Especially because I love her nose and dark eyes.  I hope that when we can, we are able to have a baby who shares lineage with us both.  It’s never been really an option after my boy.  Things weren’t right.  But they are so different now.  With my nephew being born I am hopeful that I can follow that dream of having another child.

Life has a funny way of getting fucked up and then straightening out.  I have super high highs and very low lows.  I hope that the better things get as we make strides toward our goals the more balance comes.  I already feel it.  I already know that we are better for each other and better individuals because of the love and support we have for one another.

The group I love had some interesting questions recently... one person asked about exes and staying friends and current significant others remaining friends with their exes.  It made me laugh because everyone was all hyped up on the jealousy stuff.  In some cases I can understand that.  But I don’t really worry about it.  I mean any good, strong relationship is built on trust and honesty.  I choose not to speak to any of mine.  Some I used to keep in touch with have drifted away, following their own life’s paths.  Others I didn’t need the drama, so when I left that was the end.  There is only one that I have to remain in contact with and even then my love knows and she understands why.  Beyond that if I ended a relationship with someone and wanted to remain friends then she would know and I would want to have her get to know them and be comfortable with it.  All these people in the group were all up in arms.  It seemed like jealousy and fear.  Mostly fear of being left, not being enough, being cheated on, being lied to, being alone.  As far as my girl, I tell her a lot that she can be friends with whoever she wants to.  If she feels there is a meaningful friendship to have with an ex that’s her choice.  Those women though, about shit a brick when I said that.  They didn’t understand how I could be so open to it.  When I explained that I trust my girl and I have experienced enough dishonesty in the past.  So if something changed and we couldn’t have an discussion about it, I would walk and I would let her figure her life out.  I tried to put it simply that I don’t have time for bullshit, but she hasn’t done anything to make me not trust her.  So I don’t worry about it.  That was like trying to explain the size of the known universe with tangible objects.  Minds were blown.  So many people had what-ifs and potential scenarios.  I didn’t tell them anything specific about her exes or mine.  Just that we have experiences that will probably lead us to avoid contact just for the sake of not having any issues.  Eventually people got it but were still miffed.  Fine by me.  It made me think though that there are so many women in this social group that have a thing about not talking to their exes and their girls not talking to theirs... if it’s such a big deal why do exes in the community regularly try to communicate to begin with?  I don’t really know.  Mainly I just know that the day I can stop talking to the remaining one I speak to will be a happy day for me.  The other one who was mad when I left got the hint pretty quickly after not liking the truth.  But that is what happens when you ask me a question.  You get an honest answer.  And it will most likely offend someone’s sensitivities.

On that tangent, my boy asked me once recently about an ex that I don’t speak to... it’s difficult to put into words that very serious drugs can make people do things that put people into unsafe situations and I needed to get away as quick as possible.  All I could do is tell him that when he is an adult I would tell him if he really wanted to know.  I say the same about his father.  When he is old enough, if he really needs to know for his own mental health I will tell him.  I owe him that much after uprooting him and changing his life.  He’s intelligent though, so I am looking forward to the day when I can be honest with him about it.

Half way done with school.  Half way there.  When I finish this I don’t know how long I will wait, but I think maybe only a semester before I dive in.  I need that additional degree.  I need that career.  I want that.  For me.  For my boy.  For my love.  For the family we want to have together.  I want it.  I want to take them on trips to beautiful places.  I want to have a beautiful and comfortable home for all of us where we are safe and happy.  I want so many things that I let go of a long time ago.  Life is slowly improving, but I can feel it.  And others who are close to me can see it.  The life I want is tangible.  The life we want is in front of us, getting closer every day.  This is not how I would have pictured things in the past, but I can’t imagine my life any other way.  I have so much to be grateful for.  This life.  This life.  My life.  The Life.

[alwaystheproblem]

Grateful for Today

Today we had B.’s best friend over with his family.  D, his best friend has 2 wonderful moms who opened their home to D and his 3 siblings.  It’s been a blessing, and I am far from religious, but I don’t know any other words to use right now.  My blog is suddenly sane for a number of reasons, but most of all it’s so named because I finally feel good in my skin.  I may be mean or indifferent to people who are ridiculously stuck in one place.  I definitely stir the pot sometimes because people are desperate to do harm.  But really the worst someone can do isn’t going to be anything that really gets a reaction, because even them most useless and awful people are not terrible enough to do anything but hurl unintelligent insults.  And I have lived my whole life with those for so many reasons it’s just old news to me.  As a kid it was devastating.  Being smart, wearing glasses, having stories from traveling the globe as a small child, being weird (but that relates to being worldly and smart).  I didn’t fit into other people’s beauty standards.  Whatever.  Then it hurt, but now it doesn’t phase me.  I split from that clown and it was the best decision I could have ever made.  It hurt my son, but he is so much smarter than people really know.  He can see the happiness is different.  He spent time here without me, which was good only for the fact that while I fell and explored and tried to build myself, he was safe.  In all this growing and exploring I made some self destructive decisions.  I did things that I am never eager to repeat.  But I did some things that really helped me grow like I needed.  I put my life on hold to fit someone else’s expectations.  I bit my lip and held my breath and sidelined my wants and needs.  I had a lot of growing to do.  But I accomplished so much in that time that I never thought I would.  Suddenly it clicked.  Suddenly the years of questions and curiosities all made sense.  I felt more whole than I had ever felt before.  My sanity was intact, whereas before I felt fragile and lacking. Suddenly Sane.  I found a part of me that I had kept hidden because I received enough ridicule for everything else.  I found my strength.  I found my voice.  I found the passion that I knew was there sporadically, but now it was constant.  I found the person I had always wanted to grow into.  She is a beast.  Smart, witty, mean to those who earn it, unforgiving and unrelenting when it comes to what she wants, compassionate, empathetic, enlightened.  She is me.  In this I have found my inner beauty.  No amount of makeup can compensate for substance.  I have that substance.  I feel good in my skin.  I didn’t think that possible in my lifetime.  That brings me to today.  To have the opportunity to spend time with a family that represents what I hope to build my family into is amazing.  They are supportive and kind.  They are eager to talk about life and the ups and downs.  And they are happy to know me and my love.  They are caring and wonderful parents and they see the same in us.  It’s wonderful to have people in our lives that can be an example to my son of how good it can be and how much love there is always to go around.  To have people who have experienced similar things to me to talk to has really helped me to feel even better about everything because mine is not an unusual story.  It’s unique to me, but the plot is not new. I love my girl.  And I can’t wait to be that family.  She has helped me just as much, if not more.  The love and affection I never thought possible.  She takes care of us.  Surprises and gifts are always sweet, but she does so much more than money can do.  I try to tell her all the time how amazing she is and how fortunate I am to call her mine.  We have our histories and they are not squeaky clean.  We accept what we cannot change and we learn from that.  The way we have grown over the last year has been beautiful.  I can’t wait to see what the next year will hold.  I feel good.  Things are good.  When we have trials and tribulations we still have each other and it’s been the best life has ever been and it’s only getting better.  Suddenly Sane.

[alwaystheproblem]

Moments

Even the smallest gesture, or second in time, can have a lasting impact on your life.  It doesn’t take much for a smile to change your life.  In the same way, it doesn’t take much for a scowl to bring you right back down.

Each day is filled with moments.  Some will be positive and uplifting, while others can be heart wrenching.  What I know is that I want all of those moments with you.  Today was rough emotionally.  Moments that seemed longer than they should have been brought down the excitement and anticipation to fear and anxiety.  But those were the moments that opened the door to new possibilities for us today.

The world, while chaotic and dangerous, still holds so much for us.  I will walk by your side where ever you need to go.  That is what this is to me... your path to success and happiness and stability is my path to your side and sometimes behind you, helping you to stand to reach your full potential.

Your intelligence has always been underappreciated.  Your sincerity and vulnerability has been abused and mistreated.  Your beauty is far deeper than just your gorgeous exterior and no matter what comes our way, I see all of you.  And I love you.

I am proud of you for taking this leap.  I can’t wait to see where you land.