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joy is stored in the everyone being so happy to hear dm murph again <33
Transcript:
Murph: In the caves of Cragwater lies a city. A city of neon lights, cyber-enhanced citizens, cool motorcycles, and crime. Emily: (delighted) Look at him back in his element! Caldwell: Yes! Jake: We missed this! Murph: ..... lots of crime. A city called Neo Galaderon.
CLASSIC Emily R. L. Stein villain
caldwell laughing nervously in the background, he’s just like me fr (glen is so hot 🥵)
No fuckin way Caldwell is talking abt piss holding. I listen to this podcast in the morning and now I'm thinkin of them having to hold it for a rly long recording session. It wasn't even just a piss joke, it had to be omo... >///<
🍷
MOD EDIT: I had to go back and clip this because this is one of the most ridiculous runs of bits in the history of a show so horny I had to make multiple blogs about it
this post but the totally legal audio version
Transcript:
Murph: There’s also-- you notice that there’s a lot of the people waiting in line are uh-- emotionally walled off young men, that are just kinda standing there like “I don’t care”. And as they walk up to him, Balnor goes “Hey it’s me, Balnor! I’m your dad and I’m proud of you!” [Emily, Caldwell, and the audience laugh.] Murph: You see all these dudes just breaking down. Hardwon (Jake): Shit. Moonshine (Emily): Y’all this is beautiful. We can’t disrupt this. Hardwon: Yeah. This is... Beverly (Caldwell): This is really working. Balnor (Murph): This guy’s stepping on my-- this is my thing! Hardwon: And I’ll go-- I'll go talk to him about it! Jake: Hardwon gets in line. [All laugh] Murph: Hardwon gets in line. Hardwon you get to the front. Fake!Balnor: Hey bud, how’s your day goin? Hardwon: (standoffish) ’s alright. Fake!Balnor: Yeah? Hardwon: Why d’you care? Fake!Balnor: Was it a tough one? Hardwon: (long pause) I dunno Fake!Balnor: It’s okay if it was a tough one Hardwon: (increasingly emotional) It wasn’t too bad… Fake!Balnor: Yeah, that’s cause you’re my tough guy, right? [Audience awws and laughs] Hardwon: (emotionally) It was-- it was a tough day, Dad. Fake!Balnor: It’s okay. Tough guys cry. Tough guys cry. Hardwon: (crying) I’m really fuckin’ tough. Murph: He brings you in and gives you a big hug. [Hardwon howl-sobs] Fake!Balnor: For nineteen dollars you can have a gift bag. Hardwon: Wait, what? Jake: Hardwon shakes it off. Fake!Balnor: It’s nineteen dollars for a gift bag. Hardwon: (emotionally) Beverly give him the gold. Caldwell: I give him the shillings. Murph: (laughs) He takes the shillings, um, and you get a little gift bag. There’s some mulch in there, there’s a Bud Heavy-- Jake: Hardwon walks over to a food stand. I can’t strike this man. [Cut forward] Hardwon: That was my first hug from another guy. [Audience laughs] (Real!)Balnor: We haven’t hugged? Hardwon: Bring it in. Balnor: Hey, hey, yeah, c'mon, right? Jake: Hardwon starts crying. Hardwon: (crying) We should do this more.
everyone owes emily a dollar for this clip
Transcript:
Murph, as the others "Yeah" and "Mhm" in agreement: And what if he has-- okay, going back to the laser disk stuff, and Jake was saying maybe Grisby has a laser disk on him, he has a bunch of obsolete media on him. So he has a laser disk player-- Emily: Ohh, 8-track. Murph: With an-- yeah, an 8-track on the back. Emily: And he's wearing two iPod minis as earrings. Murph: Yeahhhh! Caldwell: Oh and maybe he says "I put this movie on while I'm eating pussy" [Beat. Emily and Murph cackle.] Murph: (through laughter) Is that a reference to something? Jake: I don't hate that. [Caldwell laughs. For the next while, Emily and Murph talk over each other while Caldwell laughs in the background.] Emily: It's, um-- nonono. It's trademark Grisby. Murph: (laughing harder) it's trademark Grisby?? Caldwell: (laughing) that's really great. Emily: In fact you owe me-- you owe me a dollar for hearing that!! You owe me a dollar for hearing that, Murph!! Murph: (barely able to speak) I eat pussy??-- I watch this movie-- while eating pussy. Jake: That's the Grisby catchphrase. Emily: You owe me a dollar for hearing Caldwell's joke. Cause I'm Caldwell's manager. Caldwell came up with that trademark. Grisby is-- Caldwell-- Give me a dollar, Murph!! Murph: (still laughing) That just-- That was so out of left field. I was like-- this is from a movie. This is-- Emily: Give me a dollar!!! Jake: If you heard Caldwell say that, you owe Emily a dollar. Caldwell: (recovering) That's a Grisby original, man! Murph, as Emily and Caldwell laugh increasingly harder in the background: Alright. Grisby has an awesome catchphrase. He-- (laughs). What kind of person is like… giving enough that they eat pussy? But like, distracted enough that they need to watch a movie during it. But is also eating pussy for like two hours to watch a full movie. Caldwell: I think they're just so good at it. Murph: They're so g-- okay. Emily: Yeah yeah yeah. Jake: Right. They can multitask. Murph: But why would they want to watch a movie during it? Jake: Well, 'cause they have a human tongue. Murph: Theoretically though, you'd need to be engaged for it to be good? Oh my god that's so fuckin' funny. Jake: Well, not when you're Grisby. Murph: Grisby…. wow….. that's a great punishment. Emily: Well that's Grisby's-- that's Grisby's-- I think it's a punishment is that Grisby's-- Murph: Grisby has a laser disk player. Plays Vanilla Sky on descent. It's the only of its type. I put this movie on when I'm eating (sing-song) pussyyyyy~ [The others laugh.]
everyone needs to get on the naddpod patreon and also to hear this murph laugh right neow
Transcript:
Caldwell: "Are you from a different planet? I yelled. There isn't a war right now, and there isn't--" [breaks off laughing] [Murph lets out an uproarious cackle. Emily laughs with him.] Jake: There isn't a war right now? What-- [laughs] [Murph cackles harder] Caldwell: Wait! Let me finish! Murph: (high pitched) There isn't a war right now??? Caldwell: "There isn't a war right now, and there isn't one getting ready to begin." [Emily laughs harder] Murph: Wow.
the best short rest bit in the world. to me. this is followed by 4 minutes straight of them discussing this, peanut butter whiskey, and murph's fancy new cream shirt that he forced emily to hype him up about.
Transcript:
Murph: It makes a difference everybody. It really really does Caldwell: Congrats, man! Emily: The other day he bought a shirt that was-- Murph, worried: Oh my god. What are you saying. What are you gonna say. What are you gonna... Emily: [laughs] I'm not gonna talk about you watching the Big Bang Theory-- documentary. Murph, yelling away from the mic: I didn't watch the Big Bang Theory!!!! [Jake, Emily, and Caldwell laugh]
