#name calls

[queer-advice-hotline]

I know this is a bit unusual but can you do a poll for name I’m thinking of choosing? It would be nice to get other peoples opinions :)

It’s

Grey

Or Gray

Help choose a name:

Grey

Gray

Voting ended onMay 19, 2024

[queer-advice-hotline]

How do i come out to school teachers as trans without my parents knowing? Im changing schools and want my teachers to use my chosen name but i don't want my parents finding out

First, you should look into your schools policy on names and parents. Some schools have policies in place that mean they have to tell your parents if you try to come out to them. Make sure that’s not the case for your school first, and if it is, it’s not safe to come out to your teachers.

If it’s safe to do so, emailing your teachers would probably be the simplest for you. You can let them know what your legal name is, and then what your chosen name is and what pronouns you use. If you decide to tell them in person, you can go up to them after class or before/after school and let them know what you prefer to go by.

Since you don’t want your parents to know, you should tell them that and ask them to not change it in the schools online system, so if your parents have access to any sort of parental school website, they won’t see the change.

[queer-advice-hotline]

Hi, it's the anon asking about pronouns. You suggested comparing it to my new name (if I had one) but the problem with that is that after a month or two, the names all fell lackluster.

I have a group that's really good about letting me test them! It feels good, if odd, the first few times but after a couple months it doesn't. So advice on picking names is also appreciated

Do you think the names were becoming boring, or were they just becoming comfortable? I know that when a new name stops being new, it can feel like the wrong name since it’s novelty has worn off, but sometimes it can just be you getting used to it and not noticing it as much. This isn’t to say that the names you tried were 100% perfect, just something to think about if you try some names again.

On to the actual ask: picking a name can be a long process, and it’s very personal, so I can’t really tell you how to find what’s right for you, but I think having your friends try them out is a great way to start. If you can’t seem to find any to try out, try looking at some baby naming websites, or ask your friends what they think you “look” like, so to speak. Anyone with other ideas feel free to share.

[queer-advice-hotline]

any name finding advice? I've been having trouble choosing one

You can ask people close to you for suggestions, and try those out.

You can pick a “theme” you think you might like, like nature or space themed names, and look through lists until you see some you might like, and try those.

Ultimately the best way to find one is to have people call you that name for a while and see what sticks. Getting a list of ideas together is the best first step.

[queer-advice-hotline]

prepare for a long ask, i lack self restraint, sorry

so i’m afab non binary, out for not very long, and using a new name. my deadname was way too dysphoric because it is really feminine and associated with a character who is very well known (and very feminine, like. typical female love interest.) so i didn’t want to use that.

i was already using my middle name online, so i decided to use that instead? it’s much less feminine, and not a common name at all, but i’m not really that comfortable with it. it’s definitely better than my given name but it just. it doesn’t fit with me.

part of me keeping my middle name instead is that i figured using my middle name would soften the blow when i eventually do tell my parents, because i know picking a name was really challenging for them when they had me and i don’t want to like. disrespect them in that aspect.

but i found another name online last week and i can’t stop thinking about it. it really does fit so much better and i would love to use it but i just feel really hesitant.

especially because i haven’t even been out that long, and i had a friend who changed their name three times after coming out? and none of our friends reacted well to them doing that so i just don’t want to like. keep changing it, but i also don’t want to keep this name that much either.

so i guess what i’m really asking is, should i keep my middle name which i sort of like sort of don’t, or switch to the other name and potentially offend my parents and annoy my friends at the same time?? i just don’t know.

At the end of the day, you’re the one who is going to have to live with that name for the rest of your life. Pick the name that makes you happy.

If you really wanted, you could keep your middle name so you still have a connection to your old name, but I wouldn’t let that stop you from finding a new one, if you do.

As for your friends, you can always talk to the friend who changed their name a few times for any advice on telling them about the new name, and dealing with any comments they may make.

[queer-advice-hotline]

hey i'm the anon that asked about names! so as i said i had a couple of name options, my first one was casper (which i think is a nice-sounding name but i'm not very sure about it, mostly because of it being associated with casper the friendly ghost pfff) and my second option was sorin (which is a traditionally masculine name in my country *but* what i like about the name is that most people won't be able to immediately assign a gender to it (hopefully)- i think i value that much more than anything else. the name also comes from the word for "sun" which… trans people naming themselves after space objects, fork found in kitchen lmaoo. what i'm mostly worried about with this name is that it will make me seem older? i'm between the ages of 15-20) so sorry for writing a huge wall of text, i started rambling oops

No need to apologise. Those are both good names.

[queer-advice-hotline]

hi! over the last year/couple years i've been trying to figure out my gender identity and, even though i honestly still feel very lost, i was thinking of *maybe* trying to go by another name (at least on the internet). i have a couple of names in mind and i was wondering if this would be the right place to get opinions on names? i'm kind of terrified to ask my friends because i worry that the name(s) will not fit right and i'll just go back to my birth name or something. yeah i don't know

I can absolutely give you my opinion on your name options, as well as others in comments/reblogs. Send in another ask or reblog this post if you wish with your ideas.