#question calls

[queer-advice-hotline]

Hi! So I'm nonbinary and I've been wanting to get a binder for a while but am now getting to a point where I could actually buy one. I ended up asking a trans friend of mine (who has been binding for as long as I've known him so maybe 4 years now) where he got his binders from and he answered gc2b and that he still buys from them now and that they're great. However I've been seeing a lot of people who say that it's not a safe go-to anymore and that a lot of the newer binders have gone down in quality and sometimes just aren't safe. Are there any safer alternatives? Like different binder companies that have kept a good reputation or even alternatives like trans tape and whether or not it works as well?

This post talks a bit about trans tape. One important thing to note about trans tape is that it’s more effective on smaller chest sizes, so it’s something to keep in mind depending on the results you want.

This post has binding resources. As you mentioned, gc2b has been known to cause problems recently, so I don’t recommend them. The post linked has other, more reputable sources listed.

[queer-advice-hotline]

if i am genderfluid is it weird at all for me to where a binder some days and not where one other days?

No, that’s not weird. How you present yourself doesn’t affect your gender identity.

[queer-advice-hotline]

heyyyy so like. got a question

is it normal to be like.. scared of being trans or smt??? like, i know im not cis in any form but im so scared to.. 'embrace' (would that be the word?) that for [mostly reason my brain refuses to define] and i think its a mix of

- [that undefined reason]

- what if im FAKING IT

yk?

Yes, that’s a relatively common experience. It could be due to some internalised transphobia, as well as worry about faking it.

One thing that can help with that is talking with other trans, or otherwise not cis people, and figuring out what’s helped them.

[queer-advice-hotline]

I am a cis woman, and I’ve never really questioned my gender, but I’m very uncomfortable with my boobs. They are rather large, and it makes me uncomfortable both physically and socially. I’m aroace and not interested in dating, but several times people have mentioned my breasts being nice and I hate it. I don’t want to do anything permanent (at least not anytime soon) but would it be rude or offensive or disrespectful if I were to start binding, even though I’m not trans or nb or anything?

I use sports bras most of the time, and they kinda help, but they really just push my boobs together more, I don’t get much compression or redistribution or anything. I’ll probably get a breast reduction in a few years because I hate dealing with this. I can barely even find regular bras in the size I need because I need such large cups with a smaller band and nobody ever has that.

Idk I’m just frustrated but I wanna make sure it wouldn’t be disrespectful to get a binder.

It's not disrespectful at all. Binders are for anyone who needs/wants them.

[queer-advice-hotline]

Can you explain the difference between Non-binary and Agender please?

Nonbinary: It's an umbrella term for anyone whose gender isn't 100% male or 100% female. The person using the label can just be nonbinary, or they can use some of the smaller labels that fall underneath it, like demiboy, agender, etc. It's very vague on purpose, so just knowing that a person using this label is not 100% a female (but could still be partially, like being a demigirl) or 100% male (the same applies) is the easiest way to think about it.

Agender: There are few ways people decribe being agender. 1) Not feeling a gender at all; totally genderless. 2) Rejecting the concept of gender for themself 3) Feeling completely a neutral gender. The most common one is feeling completely genderless though. it falls under the nonbinary umbrella, but an agender person doesn't have to also call themself nonbinary.

[queer-advice-hotline]

Could you give some more info on aspec and what counts as being aspec?

Im not sure if im aro or not but is it like a spectrum? Because I definitely have romantic feelings are stuff but not totally or as intense or smt (for instance I don’t like x reader fics with characters)

Aspec refers to both the aromantic and asexual spectrums. So yes, being aro is a spectrum and you could definitely be on it.

One label on the aro spectrum that could fit you is greyromantic, which means you feel less romantic attraction than an alloromantic person would, but you aren’t totally aromantic.

[queer-advice-hotline]

hey so as a minor should i come out as trans to spite the anti-trans folk in my area (hear me out)

for context my parents are anti-trans (they already know i'm trans but they act like i'm cis) and i live in a very christian area of the south. i used to be out as trans but i've moved since then.

but i feel like by being closeted i'm letting the anti-trans folk win. i'm being the quiet cis girl who won't speak up against anti-transness that they want me to be.

i'm already out as bi cause luckily my area is at least somewhat accepting of gays, lesbians, and bisexuals.

i was happier and freer when i was out as trans. anti-transness never upset me because i could always shut them down. now i just sit and listen.

so should i continue just being a quiet bi girl or should i take the leap and come out?

btw just to clarify my safety hasn't been threatened in any way i'm at no risk of being kicked out or abused and in my area i doubt i'll get serious repercussions in school aside from some light-to-moderate bullying and that's a given already since i dress goth and am autistic

(sorry for getting long winded and rambly)

I think the thing that should be most important to you right now is your safety. It’s not giving up to remain closeted. It might be best for you to wait until you are no longer a minor to come out, but if course it’s your decision.