#namjas

[jjproject]

am I a JOKE TO YOU!??!?

[happinessinmyheart]

Why is it always “oh you look tired” with these boys. I know I look fucking tired, I had a long weekend. You don't have to remind me, Im not here to look prim and proper for you. I just want to attend this lecture in peace then go home.

[seizethenamjas]

I went on a date and he talked a loooot all about himself.

I know errything about him. Too much! Every time I went to tell a story, or comment he would interrupt to tell his story. He just in general didn't much care about what I was saying.

-near the end of the date-

STN: Why don't you ask me some questions instead? I don't think you know much about me, but I know a lot about you!

Him: Ok... Tell me everything about you!

STN: A but broad, but -starts saying some things-...

Him: -Interrupts- Actually, I told my ex girlfriend this before, but when I like someone I like them right where they're at. I don't care about their history, I don't need to know their stories.

STN: Well actually I believe that my history and my stories make me who I am today. They greatly influence in my life now.

After that he still didn't ask me anything/let me talk. A guy doesn't care about others stories, but needs everyone to know his. Redic.

Also:

He is a sport enthusiast, which I am not really. He talked several times all night about him needing to get in shape which is great but not necessarily something that I wanted to get an input on, just listened to him lament repeatedly. Then he kept asking me to Work out with him, I was kinda done by then listening to him:

Him: Well, sometime this week we can meet up together and workout!

STN: No.

Him: Hahaha, come on! Haha why not? I can workout with you!

STN: You can also workout without me.

Anyways,

He is good to text with, because he replay quickly and often, but I must reply in order to keep the combo going, so I play a part.

Ugh, I'll see if he calms down a but later, maybe he was just nervous~

But my Douche-dar is on high!

[killer-whaless]

On my way to work,i bumped into a bunch of korean exchange students. I was blasting to Team A - Just another boy and they groove to it! IT WAS SO DAMN HILARIOUS. And THEN HELIUM WAS PLAYING NEXT then they looked at me in shocked with that "YOU KNW THEM?!" face. All of a sudden the place turned into a club. What a morning.

[seizethenamjas]

I know how I receive love: Quality time

I think it's official. 

If someone gives me their time/spends time on me, I feel completely comfortable believing they love me (even friendship me) and I don't doubt that we are friends. 

Om and I have been talking every day since he went home. We talk about everything. He will message me when he wakes up, and we will talk while he is on the bus to school/work or walking his dog haha or cooking... I'll do the same. So far we have talked everyday on my way to work which is just plain nice. 

I know it will die down the longer he stays there and I stay here, that's the reality and I'm okay with it. But when someone wants to spend time with me, wants to talk with me, or just, wants to tell me about their day - I feel cared about. 

I have a few friends who are like this too. It's so... effortless to be friends with them. I feel so secure. 

I learned the concept that "I will spend time with you if I like you, and I won't spend time with you if I don't like you." or "You will always make time to spend with someone you enjoy".

Don't get me wrong - I have friends, good friends, that I don't see often! And I am still assured of their friendship, but it's just ~easier~ and I am getting what I need when someone gives me their time :) 

Other examples: 

- A phone call

- A card/letter in the mail

- A text

- hanging out

- Telling me they CAN'T meet/talk/anything - communicating

- Anyways... I just like spending time with people I love. 

I love peoplee

And I hate them

Hahaha

What a curse. 

[seizethenamjas]

A few things over the past few days that have made me happy...

My goal is to remember why I like humans, and why they are worth interacting with!

Here is a "read more break" so I don't take up your whole dashboard! Read away :)

1. Om went back to Korea, but every day we have talked. On Monday, we talked for about 4 hours throughout the day (2 hours spread out, 2 hours consecutively) and it was really nice. We just chatted about his life being home and how he is liking/not liking it. He always tells me about his dog. "My dog is wagging her tail now", "she is staring at me", "she keeps licking me", "she wants to go for a walk, but I don't want to take her because she always makes a mess and I have to bathe her... I hate bathing her!". 

It's cool to see him transitioning being back home. He has said, "STN, I don't understand why you like Korea, the way I see it, Canada is 100% better." (Granted this was said just after taking a crowded, hot bus with terrible suspension for 30 minutes, so I take it with a grain of salt. I think I hated Korea after I took public transportation as well haha!)  But, hearing about his daily grind is refreshing. 

Anyways. So, Om is a reason that I still like humans. Because he is a quality one, who is really consistent in how he acts. I like it! 

2. I don't remember what nic-name I gave him, but we hung out a lot when I came home, but we drifted apart (Ie. he got a GF) and we didn't hang out at all. He's the one who introduced me to his friends... we went to the same language school... he was super funny and we always drank together?

Anyways -- I met up with him on Friday with M because he is going back to Korea early and we went drinking and eating at his Ex's restaurant haha. She was sweet, and it was nice to see that they were still friends. We proceeded to drink a lot. It got a little 3rd wheel-y when M and he were flirting and I felt super awkwardturtles but I tried to get over it~~~ 

Jetlag and Makkolli hit M like a ton of bricks and MommaJ came and picked her up around 11pm. Boyo and I kept drinking and talking until about 1:30am - got free soondae! - and enjoyed our time!  We talked about a LOT of deep stuff that I won't divulge on the tumbs, but he was super honest with me and I with him. I talked about some of the issues I was having lately in my life - how my friendship/relationships with kboys seem to go in this one direction, or follow this pattern, and he offered his insights into that. 

Anyways. Then, Sunday he came over and cooked me dinner and we ate and drank and talked and he called his friends and mom and made me talk to them~~ his momma said I have a "Sexy and Husky Voice" Oooo lala! Hahah. Anyways. I'll hang out with him again tonight! He left his watch at my house and I'll return it and we will buy souvenirs!  

Ok. Well there's 2 humans who are making life nice :) But... both are leaving/have left haha! Dammit! 

[seizethenamjas]

When I see that the forecast for my weekend is rain I think "Well, my Korean friends won't be leaving their house to see me that's for sure!"

Eyes told me once that he doesn't like to leave the house when it is raining because he doesn't want to ruin his shoes. 

I was just like... Dude. Get rain boots. You're living in Vancouver. You will end up never leaving your house if you avoid things because of rain. 

They will learn.

Anyways. I just thought it was a little funny that the thread of "Cancel plans because of rain/don't make them at all" is semi-consistent with that circle of friends. 

p.s. I freaking love the rain <3