Hikaru Kamisaki's Journey with Connection and Skating
With the latest chapter (52) of Medalist seeming to show the next steps of growth for both Inori and Hikaru, I wanted to take a step back and see how much Hikaru's grown throughout the manga...... AKA oh my god I've cried so many times to the ways you've grown up Hikaru-chan, I need to document this for prosperity.
From almost the very start of the manga, we see Hikaru compare Inori to Jun Yodaka, which is partially why she's so frustrated with Tsukasa in chapters 32 and 36 at his insistence that she shouldn't sacrifice things for victory on the ice.
Chapter 36, Page 28
She wants to chase after Inori the same way she chases after Jun, because they make her excited in similar ways, and she believes that they were made for the ice in ways that she's had to earn and chase after.
(Side Inori/Hikaru tangent about how they both believe they were chosen by others and that's why they have their place on the ice, but believe in each other as being made for it, and goals for each other to reach. Ourghhh,,, the rivals of all time.)
After Novice A's though, and her confrontation of Tsukasa, we see her mentality change a little; she accepts that Inori's path is different from her own. This is also around the time she transfers out of Meiko.
The Meiko chapters and beyond do so, so much to humanise Hikaru every time I read them they bring such tears to my eyes. Previously to this, Hikaru is framed as Inori's overwhelming rival, everyone's overwhelming rival, and we see the ways the people around her view her as a "beast" or a "monster" on the ice. We see very little from her own perspective besides her excitement towards Inori, and we see the trail of people she dominates. And then the Meiko chapters happen. And she quits because she's worried about Coach Sonidori. And she has an argument with Rioh. And. And she realises how loved she was, how admired she was.
Chapter 46, Page 35
Chapter 46, Page 40
And we see how that the ways we were previously intimidated by Hikaru and thought of her as something beyond human was also something she thought of herself! We see the ways that before her "sacrifice" and transfer, she had believed herself nothing but a burden for the people around her. Victory for her was necessary, as it was how she approached Jun, but it was something that brought the people around her nothing but pain. Her prodigy was her curse, before now, where she sees the way people loved her for who she was, regardless of her skill or her own choices to reach for the top.
Rioh and Yuna and all her clubmates who chased after her because they basked in her light, and the Sonidoris who took care of her, not just as a favour to Jun, because they loved her. They were people whose lives she touched for the better. She encouraged them, she made them work harder, she was a beacon for them, and in turn, she was loved beyond her own comprehension.
She begins to truly understand people here in a way she hadn't before, and in turn, this allows her to finally communicate the real reason Inori was so special to her in Chapter 50. It's not because Inori's like Jun, it's because Inori's like her.
Chapter 50, Page 2
Inori and Hikaru are very similar from the beginning. From Hikaru's first piece of advice to Inori that allows Inori to truly pursue her goals.
Chapter 2, Page 60
Hikaru relates to Inori and sees herself in her, which excites her!! It's a foreign feeling for her!! We had just spoken about her previous ~self-imposed isolation, that started probably as a survival instinct as an orphan. She wanted to be cared for, so she did what she thought the people around her wanted her to do. Hikaru was someone who monitored people's actions, who tried her best to see through their actions to the core of what they really wanted (We see this as she tries to alter her personality from living with the Kamisakis to the Sonidoris!). Who else does that? Woahhhh, hey there Inori, wotcha doing?
Chapter 39, Page 19
Skating in Medalist serves as communication for the characters. Specifically Hikaru and Inori, who had trouble connecting with others. They both consider the ice homes that have given them everything in their lives. And skating, serving as their shared home, gives them a connection that neither, until very recently, could communicate in very many words. Their collective experience of excitement and respect, of wanting to be simultaneously an overwhelming presence and beat the overwhelming odds against them.
Skating is the first place Hikaru felt understood!! And that excitement and that joy, of having her nebulous feelings be seen? She chases after it in Jun Yodaka, because even though she feels understood by Jun Yodaka's skating, she cannot understand him.
It's why Hikaru imprints Jun's image onto Inori so heavily. Because she was able to communicate that "feeling" they both brought to her, and she's so prone to self abandonment/isolation, she instinctively believed that it was because those two people were similar, when rather, it was what both people made her feel that made them similar.
Chapter 50 and 51 are so so essential in understanding Hikaru. It displays her progression as a character so beautifully. The sacrifice with the Meiko transfer pushes her to see people in a way she hadn't let herself before. It leads her to then understand why she believed Jun and Inori were similar, and finally separate them.
Jun's skating is something that's filled with anguish, something he describes as painful, but it allows Hikaru to find a place where she can express her own pain. Skating is an art in the way it gives people a window into their own lives, makes them feel less alone in emotions that are too big for their bodies, usually. Jun's skating opens a world for Hikaru that lets her understand herself better.
Chapter 51, Page 7
Hi this opening sequence in 51 makes me so emotional!! Sooo damn emotional ohhh my god, how fucking TINY Hikaru looks, how graceful Jun is, how she's intimidated by him but still chooses him because all those years ago, his skating is the one which made her feel not alone for the first time? Agony. Misery. Sensei how could you do this to me.
This contrasts, Inori, who's personhood and dedication and passion remind Hikaru of herself at a later stage in life, when she's found something she also loves, yet still struggles with connection.
Chapter 50, Page 6
THIS GIRL MADE IT SO THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TO BE ALONE IN THIS WORLD!!!!! HELLOOOOO !!!! Jun revealed the truth of Hikaru's isolation, made her truly understand herself and her own anguish in a way she could not previously communicate, and then Inori is Hikaru's peer who inspires her to keep going in spite of her pain, because there are others around her who are the same as her. She's given an equal.
Chapters 49-52 are about Hikaru understanding her own growth, coming into herself as a person, leaving the "miniature garden"🥹🥹🥹. She's interpreting her own name now. She's decided she wants to become a light of hope. Jun recognises this too. He pushes her on to leave him now, in his own Jun way, and pushes the question onto her: What urges you to skate?
She has to pursue it for herself now, even as she still in equal parts admires Jun and yearns to understand him.
Chapter 52, Page 25
🫵🫵🫵 Jun as much as you deny it, you will always be her coach. I think that Hikaru will always, in the end, be chasing after Jun a little bit, as she forges ahead. She wants to understand the first person that let her understand herself.
I'm so eager to see what's next for you Hikaru... How you'll grow after you've already grown up so much!! So many people love you and are eager to see you prove yourself as the strongest. May you continue to love the ice that has blessed you thus far.
