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Angst Starters
66. Your muse comforting mine after a nightmare.
She hadn’t expected to see another living soul. No. That wasn’t quite right. She had hoped she wouldn’t see another living soul as she padded through the corridors of the SGC towards the commissary. It was late – or early – depending on one’s point of view, and the halls were nearly deserted. The occasional on-duty officer would give her a nod of acknowledgement and she would do her best to smile and nod in return. Perhaps none of them would notice that inside, she felt sick and so very, very wrong.
She’d woken up in an icy sweat, heart racing, stomach churning. Hands had clutched at cold sheets, trying to push away the memories that had slipped into her dreams. But that was the wrong word. ‘Slipped’ implied stealth – secrecy. But these dreams... they did not come quietly. They invaded her mind like an army bent on conquer and bloodshed. They ravaged what little peace of mind she’d found in this place and left her in tatters. They left her exhausted, gasping for breath, feeling like no more than a husk of herself -- almost as if Amaunet had returned to claim old territory....
Usually she would try and find sleep again. She would lay awake, staring pointedly at the ceiling until her senses dulled and found oblivion. Sometimes she would take solace in her husband, in his body and warmth. But more than anything, she kept her burden to herself, like a heavy lodestone around her neck, weighing her to the floor. She would cast a glance at Daniel, sleeping peacefully, and make a firm resolve: this is my burden to bear - I will not see him suffer anymore on my account. And some nights, when it was all to much, she would take to the halls, hoping to tire herself or find a distraction for the horrors that were waiting when she closed her eyes.
It was on such a night that she found herself face to face with Jonas. She wasn’t prepared -- and the careful smile she usually deployed to hide her dark thoughts was nowhere to be found. Her mouth opened, gaping wordlessly at him for a moment before finding something to say. “I - I’m sorry. I didn’t expect anyone else to be awake.... I hope I haven’t startled you,” she offered, her best attempt at a light tone.
