#narcotics abuse

[dyingkink]

I find it so ironic that I was convincing myself to stop abusing painkillers, and that this last lot I get will be my last, and that I’ll get the weakest strength (10mg) so that I can wean myself off them. Then I go to the pharmacy with my 40 x 10mg prescription, and they fuck up and give me 40 x 30mg instead. Like you just gave me 3x what I was prescribed.. It’s a fucking blessing and a curse, because I wanted to stop using by the time 2018 came, but now I have enough fucking pills to last me 8 or so highs, which I’m happy with too.

I think the universe is just telling me to fuck not using.

[four-for-fidelity]

so it turns out my dad took 40 tylenol within 4 hours and had to go to the hospital this morning at like 5am

his “normal” amount that he takes on a daily basis (even though he’s not supposed to take any at all) is about 60 in a 24 hour time period

the bottle warns against taking more than 8 in 24 hours, and honestly I’m surprised it’s taken him this long to wind up in the hospital again

[genericmistake-blog]

For the past month, I have been stealing a family member’s pain killers and using them to get high. I want to stop.

[shellshokt]

How do you know when you've helped enough?

When you've reached your hand out to help an addict but instead of accepting your help, they help themselves to your wallet, the meds in your medicine cabinet or call you up in the middle of the night asking for a place to stay "because the kids are cold" and they were evicted again...I will never forget the day my beautiful niece looked me in the eye and asked me if I could be her mommy....

I'm not surprised it ended this way...but I desperately hoped that it wouldn't. We parted years ago, because we refused to enable you any more and couldn't bare to watch the downward spiral. But it doesn't hurt any less. The fucked up guilt I feel right now, wondering if we had just reached out one more time, would it have mattered? That's far worse than I was prepared for.

I hope that you are at peace now.

I hope that your children don't feel the guilt that I do.

I hope your enablers...your husband and your son...learn from this and save themselves before it's too late. Now that you, the mastermind of their lifestyle, are gone...will they clean up their act?

I loved you like a sister and I will always cherish the good times we had, especially all the times you made me laugh my ass off.

Give Milla a hug and a kiss for me.... Rest in Peace, Kim.

[addictionfreedomnow]