SUMMARY: Following Din's encounter with the Armorer and the Mandalorian covert, his communication with you slowly begins to diminish.
WARNINGS: Slight fluff, canon-typical violence
WORD COUNT: 4.0k
MASTERLIST >>> MAIN MASTERLIST
To say you didn't feel guilty was a lie.
Din had reassured you time and time again that it didn't matter whether he removed his helmet in front of you. That this was something he'd allow for the rest of his life, no matter what happened. But voluntarily or not, he was still breaking his Creed. That was a lingering thought you could never quite eradicate from your mind... and honestly, you couldn't think of anything you could possibly do about this situation.
Because the thing was, it was his choice. It was his decision to show his face to you, and he was determined to keep doing so. The problem was that he was searching for a way to redeem himself, to mend his damaged Creed. What would he propose to do then? Because then he'd end up in an incessant cycle of breaking and fixing his Creed, over and over and over again. As much as he wanted it, that wasn't going to work out.
Of course, there was marriage—and, yes, he'd mentioned it before—but you weren't even sure if he was up for that.
At least the thought of it all distracted you from the medic while she treated your arm. There were a few stitches involved, along with a cool bacta wrap around your forearm. She was even kind enough to sew the ripped pieces of your cloak back together, ultimately covering up the wound. You made sure to pay her well for her services. Work like this did not come easy, not in this galaxy, and especially not on this isolated ringworld.
However, your only concern was that by the time you finished, there had been no sign of Din. He hadn't contacted you yet through the commlink, and even as you waited a while in kalzoc alley, he didn't appear anywhere. Eventually, though... you began to hear fighting. Weapons clashing against beskar. He was definitely still in there, and that worried you—because what if they found out about his Creed and that was the reason why they were fighting him? He was even injured... Did they not care? He could defend himself to an extent, but with his wounded leg, surviving was improbable if they truly were becoming hostile towards him.
All those thoughts and anxieties panicked you, and you couldn't stop yourself from walking inside.
The first person visible was the Armorer, down below. Her golden helmet was familiar to you, and her visor spotted you immediately. The sound of weapons clashing continued, but she didn't act against anything. She didn't seem aggressive either, which calmed you down... so you took this as an opportunity to climb down the ladder and meet with her. In front of you was Din, along with a somewhat recognizable Mandalorian. Engaged in battle. He was larger and taller than Din, but seeing how this wasn't exactly a death fight assured you even more.
There was no heading back, though... You were here, and Din surely saw you from his peripheral vision already. Your eyes shifted over to meet with the Armorer's gaze. "Why are they fighting?"
Her visor returned to the fight. The Mandalorian with dark blue beskar headbutt Din, hurling him aside to a wall on a lower level. Still, they were visible and you watched as he hopped down, brusquely grabbing Din before slamming his head against the wall.
He was going to feel that for a while...
"Paz Viszla has challenged Din Djarin for the darksaber," the Armorer explained in her usual monotonous voice. "Whoever achieves victory takes the title of Manda'lor."
Paz Viszla—you quickly recorded the Mandalorian's name in your mind. His gloved hands reached for the fallen darksaber, igniting it instantly. Seeing as Din didn't move from his spot on the floor was concerning, though.
"Fate has brought this blade back to my clan—" Viszla shouted, struggling to lift the darksaber. "—and now fate will end yours!"
By then, Din slid aside, and the weapon struck a metal pole besides him instead. Already, Din brought his vibroblade out to defend himself. Although when Viszla attempted another attack, Din bent down, dodging once—twice—standing upright again. But the taller Mandalorian seized Din by the neck, beating his head to the wall once. That staggered him for a second, though as soon as he recuperated, he slashed twice with his vibroblade, penetrating through exposed skin. With Viszla distracted, Din took advantage and wrapped both his arms around his neck, restraining him from striking him anymore. With the blade pinned to Viszla's throat, the Armorer interrupted the fight.
"It is done."
Her voice echoed through the empty space. Everyone froze. The clanging of weapons against beskar stopped.
Din won.
"Paz Viszla," the Armorer started. "Have you ever removed your helmet?"
"No," he answered without doubt.
"Has it ever been removed by others?"
"Never."
Wait, why was she...
"This is the Way," the Armorer declared, and Paz Viszla repeated after her immediately. Still, Din wouldn't release his hold on him yet.
"Din Djarin," she called. The second you heard his name, your stomach twisted and sank... She was about to ask Din the same—and no way was he lying about. No doubt would he make the truth clear to her. This would be the perfect moment to disappear from here, but... that would make everything seem worse. The Armorer would suspect something between you two instantly.
"Have you ever removed your helmet?"
Silence was her only answer.
Din didn't reply... he couldn't.
You could hardly imagine how he must be feeling right now—the regret, the sorrow, the culpability. This had been his entire life. The Creed was something he had sworn to since he was a kid, and now? Now he has to face down the Armorer. Someone who's probably known him since he took the Creed and promised to never reveal his face to anyone, no matter the circumstances. He shattered everything he ever believed in, and there might not be a way back...
The Armorer repeated her question again, this time with more urgency. "Have you ever removed your helmet?"
Still, he couldn't bring himself to speak...
"By Creed, you must vow."
Reluctantly, Din freed Paz Viszla, stepping away from him. Quietly, he muttered, "I have..."
There was a pause. A long, agonizing, tedious pause. The Armorer's disappointment lingered in the air. "Then, you are a Mandalorian no more."
"I beg you for your forgiveness." Din never sounded so desperate to redeem himself in his life. "How can I atone?"
"Leave," Paz Viszla growled, still recovering from the earlier fight. "Apostate."
"According to the Creed, one may only be redeemed in the Living Waters beneath the mines of Mandalore," she explained to Din. But Mandalore of all places? That planet was cursed. Sure, you never visited... though you listened to plenty enough stories from Din. You'd never visited the world in person, though.
Din seemed like he couldn't believe it—and he had reason to. This was an impossible task if Mandalore truly was poisoned. But... at least it was a way to recover his Creed, right? It was highly likely that he'd take that opportunity. "But the mines have all been destroyed."
The Armorer did not offer any help whatsoever. All she responded with was, "This is the Way."
Silently, Din sighed... and didn't utter another word. He only collected his fallen darksaber and his jetpack, walking past the Armorer and past you, without another glance.
You... might've messed up.
You shouldn't have come here— why would you even think of doing this? All you could do was stand there for a moment... and the Armorer stared. Did she blame you for this? She definitely had reason to accuse you of that. But she didn't speak, and you couldn't bring yourself to explain anything either. Because what could you possibly do? Apologize? No, that wasn't going to fix his Creed. Neither could you clarify what occurred that led to Din removing his helmet, because then she'd find out that he was willing to reveal his face. You couldn't make matters worse for Din. So the best you could do was leave.
You just needed to be there for Din now. That is, if he decided to discuss this with you. Which you doubted. You expected him to remain wordless for the rest of your trip to Tatooine, and that was okay. He needed his space right now, and you were going to give it to him. Still, the guilt buried deep into your chest and only worsened after witnessing all of this... Again, it was his choice—his decision. He chose to take his helmet off to save Grogu, he decided to show you that he loved you, and he wanted to offer one final goodbye to the kid. You shouldn't feel this culpability over something you never caused purposefully, but these feelings and doubts pestered you to the core. There wasn't anything you could do against this.
Once kalzoc alley was far behind, yourself and Din searched for public transportation. The spaceport was rather crowded, especially the ship that traveled off to Mos Eisley. Although before you could board the transport, an alarm blared. A droid along the side captured your attention, carrying boxes and packages besides him.
"Excuse me," the pilot droid called for you and the Mandalorian. "You're going to have to remove your weapons."
"I'm a Mandalorian," Din declared as you both approached the droid. Even after becoming an outcast to his kind, at least he didn't deny that he was still a Mandalorian. "Weapons are part of my religion."
"I'm sorry, sir, you can't board a commercial flight with your weapons." It presented a thin card to him, offering him to purchase it. "If you wish to discuss this with my supervisor, I will gladly book you on tomorrow's flight."
"Fine," Din gave in, snatching the card from the droid's claws. After he inserted the chip into one of the cases, the top opened up and revealed an empty space for your belongings.
"I don't think I trust this," you muttered under your breath. You were unsure about this, considering you never had to remove your weapons for transportation before... But extra precaution wouldn't hurt.
Both yourself and Din emptied out your weapons. From sabers to blasters to knives to whistling birds, even. Anything that could harm someone, no matter how small or insignificant it seemed, was placed into the crate. "Well, I know everything that's in there..."
It took longer than you expected. You seriously underestimated the amount of weapons you both owned. Once finished, the droid confirmed it was okay for you to board the transport safely.
Din took the window seat, and you were settled besides him. For the majority of the ride, he spent his time staring out the transparisteel, out towards the dark void of outer space. There wasn't much to say, so you were silent the entire journey to Tatooine. Although you should feel delighted about the fact that you were going to retrieve your new Razor Crest, this... ruined it all. It was going to be a long ride for sure.
You couldn't decipher whether or not Din was angry with you, considering you entered the covert without permission. He specifically suggested not to. But you couldn't bring yourself to ask, because the last thing you needed was to spark another argument. All you could offer was your hand... slipping yours underneath his palm, your fingers softly wrapping around his knuckles. And he pulled his away for a second—but only to remove his glove. When he grabbed your hand again, squeezing it gently, you felt yourself relax. No words, but that was enough to assure you that he wasn't annoyed. Not with you, at least.
He enjoyed feeling his skin against yours. You found that he'd been liking that recently... It comforted him.
Your face rested against the cool of his beskar pauldron. Drowsiness soon took over...
↡
You stirred awake once you felt the warmth of Din's hand disappear and the soft whisper of your name. Blinking away the blurriness from your eyes, you soon came to realize that you had fallen asleep against Din's shoulder—and arrived at Tatooine. Besides you, Din stood whilst slipping his glove back on. You followed suite, slowly exiting the transport behind long line of travelers. As soon as you stepped off the ship's ramp, the defected pilot droid greeted you.
"W-Welcome to Mos Eisl— Mos Eisley! On behalf of all our crew, thank you for traveling star liner travel." It continued blabbering on about transportation while yourself and Din proceeded to collect your weapons. Everything seemed to be in their place, and intact, without any damage whatsoever. "We wish you a pleasant stay and hope to see you again very soon!"
After that, the first stop was of course Peli's hangar. However, it seemed that every time you visited her... she was occupied by something crazy. This time, it happened to be that she was being attacked by a giant womprat. Although Din quickly took care of that, blasting it down with one bullet, saving a screaming Peli. She struggled to rise back up onto her two feet. "Oh— oh! What an entrance! BD?! You good?"
Your eyes fell, catching sight of a cute little BD droid. It didn't seem damaged whatsoever, except for a leg it seemed to favor.
"What do we owe you the pleasure?" Peli asked, happily approaching you guys. "You here to slay another dragon? Chasing down some elusive bounty?"
Hm. Those were good times...
Well, not really.
But at least you had Grogu, and you were all together. Not separated.
"We got your message," Din reminded her.
"Message?" She paused, confusion etched across her features... "What message?"
"You know, the message you sent us very recently," you explained, hoping she hadn't totally forgotten that she somehow managed to claim a ship for you guys. "Don't you have another Razor Crest for us?"
"Oh! Yes, that's right. That's what I said. That's what I do. I've been working my butt off, yeah! Did you bring the cash?"
You found it strange she didn't remember for a moment, but... that's just Peli. Din handed over a small bag suffused with credits inside. "It's right here."
"Mind if I count it? Not that I don't trust you, I just wanna make sure you don't give me too much." Peli turned, tossing the currency over to one of the pit droids besides her. "Hey, droids, make yourselves useful! Count this up, and then fire up the grill before that thing gets gamey. Right this way! Wait 'till you get your eyes on this baby."
A thrilling sensation welled within your chest, and you could tell Din's feelings were mutual when he trailed closely behind Peli. She led you both to a section of her hangar where she maintained ships that were under repairs. Under a tarp seemed to be the new Razor Crest. Even with it right in front of you, it was still difficult to believe that you finally managed to locate a ship for yourselves. It might not be the same Crest where yourself and Din shared memories in, but at least this was sufficient. It would take you places when needed, without having to rely on public transportation. This was good. A ship would do you guys good.
"So, where is your unlikely companion?"
The question caught you off-guard, but the subject was bound to pop up. After all, she did care and protect Grogu while you were gone bounty hunting... They shared some sort of bond with each other as well. There was a pause. You couldn't bring yourself to speak up.
But Din answered, "I returned him to his own kind."
"Why the hell would you do that?! I coulda made good money off that thing." Peli seemed downright disappointed, but chuckled anyway. "Open a petting zoo."
Once Peli reached the ship, she set her hands over the blanket obscuring the vehicle underneath it. You weren't gonna lie, it... didn't seem much like a Razor Crest. Not under that sheet, at least. Maybe you were wrong, but it seemed much too small to be one. Still, Peli couldn't seem to contain her excitement. You wished you could have her energy and positivity for yourself, because that cheerful personality she had always seemed to lighten your mood. "Ready to have your minds blown?!"
A million thoughts ran through your head within a split a second—but as soon as she pulled the cover off the gunship, there was only one thought on your mind: this wasn't a Razor Crest. No, it wasn't even a gunship. It was... some sort of starfighter. But you didn't ask for a starfighter, you asked for a Razor Crest. Your enthusiasm immediately diminished, and you discreetly casted Din a brief look of disappointment.
"But... didn't you say you had a Razor Crest for us?" you asked the mechanic, who didn't seem any less delighted as she revealed the ship. "This isn't a Razor Crest..."
"I never said I had a Razor Crest. I said I had a replacement for a Razor Crest."
"No, you di—"
Wait.
You quickly remembered the recording of her message, playing as much as you could recall through your head.
Heya! Heard about your ship, uh... you know, blowing up into a million pieces. Well, have I got news for you. Because I am your friend and I care about you guys, I thought about surprising you with a replacement for the Razor Crest! And.. well, I found it!
"Oh."
This setback was rather discouraging... and you were certain Din wasn't exactly pleased with these news either. Peli was only trying to help—and you appreciated that. Very much. Seriously, you loved her and she was one of the kindest people you knew. But how were you supposed to fit in this little starfighter? If the Crest was considered small, then what was this? There was a cockpit, and it seemed the droid port had been replaced for an extra seat in the back. But that was it. If you were going to resume bounty hunting, this wasn't ideal for that type of job.
"I don't have time for this—" Din was already turning to leave.
Your disheartened expression was clear at this point. "It's just a starfighter."
"Not just any starfighter— come on!" The mechanic tried to defend herself and the ship. "This is an N-1 Starfighter, handmade for the Royal Guard and commissioned personally by the queen of Naboo!"
"This is a pile of junk," Din declared. He wasn't wrong. Now that you pushed through the disappointment of realizing this was a starfighter, you noticed the ship wasn't even complete. There were parts everywhere and it was a disorganized mess. It wasn't in working condition.
"You should've specified it wasn't a Razor Crest," you voiced.
"I did! I said it was a replacement! Not a Razor Crest. A replacement!" Peli sighed heavily. Then, "You want your credits back?"
"Yes," was Din's instant response.
"No skin off my dip-swap. Droids! Bring this lovely couple their money. Here you go— it's that easy. Sorry to waste your time. Okay?"
Silence filled the air as you waited for the droids to return with your credits. Okay, you felt bad—you weren't going to lie. After all, she did go through all this trouble, searching for a ship that you could call your own again. She recognized your struggles and her only desire was to help. Maybe it wasn't what you wanted... but the fact that she thought of you two when she was so occupied with her own job was endearing.
"While we're waiting... can I tell you a little something about this honey?"
There was quietness, and Peli took advantage of the opportunity to continue.
"I know she doesn't look like much, but you got here a lot earlier than I expected, and I didn't get a chance to finish. I mean, clearly you can see I've got all the parts right here." She grabbed a part from the starfighter, pulled a random wire, simply causing a mess before shoving it all back together. "Hmm? It all had a home. Okay? Oh, look, a family of scurriers... Let's not disrupt the nest."
Din shifted closer, slightly interested now...
No, you wanted to say. No, you wanted the Razor Crest. Not this.
"You know how hard it is to find all original parts from way back in the galactic Republic? I mean, these are all handmade. No droids! And not only that, what I'm gonna do—just because I like you two—is I'm gonna add on some custom modifications that'll make her faster than a fathier. And! Because this baby's pre-Empire, she's off the grid. And did I mention she can jump into hyperspace with no docking ring? I mean, come on! Ya gotta see the potential!" Dust billowed up into the air as soon as she removed the tarp completely from the starfighter. "Woo!"
A pit droid stepped in with a familiar little bag of credits in hand, but Peli immediately gestured for it to shoo.
Din, nearing the starfighter, lifted a random part... and water, or some sort of liquid, spilled out.
"I'm telling you, you gotta believe me!" Peli approached him, silently hoping he'd accept and be able to persuade you as well. "This is a classic." Slamming her fist onto one of the thrusters, an outer plating collapsed to the ground from the impact. She ignored it, though. "Look, at least let me put her together before you decide. Can you give me that?"
Din was indecisive... shared a glance with you, as if searching for assurance. But you didn't know, truly. If this were the correct decision or not was impossible to know at the moment. This was something you'd have to wait out and see if its advantages weigh out its cons. This wasn't precisely what you wanted it to be, but it was a ship after all—and it would take you wherever you needed whenever you needed. So...
"There you go. Hm?" The mechanic revealed a tool, instantly beginning to work on the starfighter. "Get this baby up and goin'. You know, it'd be a lot faster if you helped..."
She offered a wrench...
Oh, what the hell. There wasn't anything wrong with trying it out.
note;
HII AGAIN !
i hope you liked this chapter !! the season finale for season 3 gave me the inspiration to finish this chapter. what did you guys think of season 3 ?? i understand why people both loved and hated this season... but the ending i really really really liked 🥹 as much as i love content from the mandalorian, if they left it at that and decided to finish the series there, i'd be satisfied.
but... apparently there's gonna be a season 4 PLUS a movie that's gonna close up all the stories from the "mandoverse" ? i'm actually pretty excited to see din djarin on the big screen 😭 i hope the movie will live up to its hype. i wonder how its gonna go... 👀 however way its gonna go, i already know how the narudar storyline will end 🤭
all your comments and feedback are so important to me ❤️
Life is now a stark contrast to what you were accustomed to before. The decision is determined: the Mandalorian and yourself will stay on Nata temporarily, and focus on other objectives. Which means no more bounty hunting, no more fighting, and no more constantly being pursued by hunters. Now, you're supposed to be concentrating on relearning to control the Force... and figure out what you and Din Djarin actually are to each other. It feels strange and unlike anything you've ever lived before, but you're easily starting to like it—and so is he.
However, as much as you enjoy your free time with Din, it's not easy to forget Grogu. Din has suggested several times to visit the kid, but you already know the answer you're going to receive: Jedi must forego all attachments, and that includes you both. Still, Din dislikes the fact that he can't see the kid for such a long time—and he wishes to distract himself. He's formulated his own plan and his own ideas, and it's slowly pulling you apart from each other.
Because you'd rather stay on Nata for a while longer, while Din prefers to get going and search for survivors of the Mandalorian covert.
FOLLOWS ALONG WITH THE EVENTS OF THE BOOK OF BOBA FETT: SEASON ONE
RATED ... T — each chapter comes with their own warnings you should read prior to beginning your reading.
SERIES WARNINGS ... canon-typical violence, canon-compliant, heavy angst, implied smut, graphic depictions of blood/wounds, former jedi reader, talk of traumatic history/childhood trauma
PAIRING ... din djarin x fem!reader
CHAPTERS ... Season Two ; Forty-Nine ; Fifty ; Fifty-One ; Fifty-Two ; Fifty-Three ; Fifty-Four ;
STATUS ... ongoing
Read on Wattpad and AO3.
View Narudar’s graphics here.
NOTE ...
welcome back to a third continuation of narudar !! for those of you who are new to narudar, this is not where you should start—seasons one and two need to be read to understand this one (enjoy the slowburn). for this one, i will be restarting the taglist so please let me know if you would like to be tagged for the following chapters ! don't be afraid to let me know what you think. my inbox is is always open !!
A resounding clash echoed through the field as the black blade pushed down on your lightsaber. The darksaber retracted before immediately colliding with yours again, truculent crackles sounding through the air. But the Mandalorian's strength was quickly faltering. Soon as you shoved his weapon back, you aimed overhead for his helmet—but his sword blocked you from striking him. Slowly, he began to take short steps backward. Your force overpowered his inexperience in fighting with the darksaber, which easily pressured him down onto one knee.
To protect himself, he pressed his beskar vambrace to your blade, preventing it from reaching his helmet—which was the exact contrary of what you've been trying to teach him. "Use the darksaber—not your armor."
Shakily, Din tried grabbing onto the hilt with both hands again. But as soon as he found he was failing, he finally let go and ended the sparring match. Out of breath, Din sighed and urged himself back up.
"You can't depend so much on your armor if you want to learn," you repeated—and he knew. Din had heard this over and over again, yet that was what he most struggled on improving. "The darksaber is what you need to rely on, or else you won't be able to master it."
"I grew up depending on my armor for protection during a fight," he countered. Recently, Din had insisted on getting you to teach him the basics to dueling with the sabers. You weren't exactly certain why he suddenly accepted the darksaber when he was entirely against the notion of owning it... but you weren't complaining about it. After all, it was actually rather fun to train him, because you haven't been able to spar with someone for fun in cycles. "It's difficult," Din continued. "You're used to this."
"And that's the point. You're inexperienced and I'm here to teach you."
"But this is different," he replied, deactivating the darksaber. "This gets... heavier with every second."
That was something you could never understand. How could an object become heavier overtime? That didn't make sense. Your lightsaber definitely never did that while you were training. Or... at least, not that you remembered.
"Come on." You backed up a couple steps from him, returning to a fighting stance. "Let's start again."
His voice modulator crackled with a quiet sigh, darksaber sliding into a smooth ignition.
A few seconds passed... and you launched for him first, swinging your lightsaber to his right side. He deflected, and you swung for his left side. As he blocked the attack, you pushed the blade down again. But he pulled back, aiming for your middle, before you shoved it away, flipping it around so unexpectedly that it slipped out of his grip. The hilt slid several feet away, and you stared at it for a moment before your eyes lifted up to meet with Din's visor.
"It's heavy."
"How is it—" You paused and an idea formulated within your mind. Switching your lightsaber off, you handed it over to him before grabbing the darksaber from him. "Okay, let's just swap weapons for this round."
Din instantly found the way to activate the lightsaber, this time capable of holding it easily. He didn't look too bad with it either.
When you ignited the darksaber, the blade slid into your sight—pitch-black with a white outline, a gentle hum as you shifted it around.
It didn't take long for you to realize what Din meant.
He attacked twice, and you found the weapon was weighing you down. Somehow, it was just... impossible to raise it up to be level with your body. Inexplicably, the darksaber managed to sink down to the ground, scorching the lush grass below you. "What..." You grunted, attempting to force it back up. Easily, you failed—and you ended up giving in to Din instead. "This doesn't make sense."
"Now you see what I mean?" he asked, switching sabers with you again. He returned it to his belt soon afterward.
You hooked your lightsaber to your utility belt. "Well... I don't know. That's something you'll have to ask a Mandalorian, or something."
"Speaking about that..."
Din started with a conversation, but paused when you approached him, gently removing his helmet from his face. What you loved the most about living here momentarily was that there was nobody around to steal a glance of Din's face. And since you had built that trust between each other, he allowed you to do this anytime you wanted. There was a moment where you stayed silent, observing the sweat that slid down his temple and the exhaustion in his brown eyes. Today had been a long day of working together—and sparring together—since the early morning. Now, the afternoon sunlight highlighted the curls in Din's soft hair, so it was probably time to stop and rest until tomorrow morning. Plus, considering he was in a full set of armor underneath the sun must be slowing him down as well.
But you returned to the previous conversation. "Speaking about... what?"
Only then did he seem to snap out of whatever he was thinking about. "Nevermind. Let's take a break?"
You nodded. "I think we're done for the day."
↡
"Cyar'ika?"
Din's gentle voice lured you from your thoughts.
"Ye-yeah?" Your eyes lowered to meet with his brown gaze, as he settled down on the ground. Now that you realized, he had said something... but you were much too lost in your head to remember what he voiced. "Sorry, what?"
"Sit down for a second," Din repeated, lightly patting the spot besides him. "Rest."
Besides him, you sat down with your legs crossed together. In comfortable silence, you both ate from the ration bars in your hands, slowly filling your empty stomachs after a long day of working. As you forced yourself not to zone out again, your eyes scanned the space up ahead. A foundation was laid out on the grass, with a few wooden planks up to serve as a base for walls. This was where your home was going to be—and currently, you were constructing it together with Din. Neither of you knew much about building houses, but you knew enough to make something simple, which was all you needed for the two of you.
The plan was to have a small living space, a kitchenette area to cook, a small loft and a refresher. It wasn't going to be much. Definitely not a mansion. But you both agreed this would be fine, because it would be a safe home you could return to after bounty hunting. Here, on Nata, with your own land and your own space, nothing would be capable of finding you or pestering you here. At least, that was what you hoped.
However, you haven't confirmed with Din what you were going to do afterward. Continue with bounty hunting, probably. Considering you both could be working together, that would mean an increase of income. Perhaps you could undertake several quarries, retreat here to rest, then resume hunting again. That was the idea, but you were far from that now and you could discuss that with him later.
You liked this, though. There was a distance from the city, but not too distant. A speeder could swiftly drive you over there in case anything was ever needed. And... since you're a long way from people, you have the chance to see Din without his armor, including his helmet. Always a plus.
For now, you'd been sleeping in a tent together. It was only temporary while the house was under construction, but it was nice. Snug. Comfortable. It was enough, and you didn't need much else as long as Din was with you. Although... after you were finished building, you'd need something else to distract you from the fact that you couldn't have the kid with you anymore.
"You're quiet."
"I am?" you paused, glancing over to him. Din offered a small nod to your question. He wasn't wrong. You were quieter than you normally were. "I guess I am. I'm just... thinking about Grogu a little. I miss him."
"Me too," Din's voice softened along with his gaze. He thought about the kid equally as much as you did. "We should visit him... It's been a while."
This time, you hesitated a second to answer. This exact conversation had been popping up between you two for a while now... and it was difficult repeating to him the unfortunate reality of it all. "You know Skywalker's not going to let us see him for now. Jedi must forego their attachments. I wish we could, though..."
"There's no harm in trying," Din countered. "You can't know for sure if the Jedi will let us see him until we get there and ask. How could he stop us from seeing the kid?"
"I know. I know you want to see him, and I do too. I'm sure he's missing us so much, but we're not going to do him any good if we visit him. We'll only make things harder for him. I already know the answer we're gonna get, and we'll only be wasting our time."
Din sighed, shaking his head lightly. "If I had known about this before letting Grogu leave with him..."
"You still would've given him to the Jedi... It was part of your quest, right?" You wrapped an arm around his, leaning your head to his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know it's hard but we'll see him again one day. The time will fly, he'll grow and finish his training, become a Jedi Knight."
"He'll set us aside," Din voiced, quietly. "We'll grow old, and become a small memory in the back of his head. The kid will grow into an adult and forget about us."
Regrettably, he was correct. That was the reality of all this. Grogu would train to become a Jedi. He'd grow. Become older. Wiser. Stronger. The time would pass by so rapidly that he'd become as old as Master Yoda once was when he trained you. The time would pass by so rapidly... that yourself and Din would no longer exist. Grogu would likely set behind the short amount of time he spent with you guys. Those memories would disappear. That was the worst part. That you couldn't be there with him, creating more memories, watching him grow and improve. That was what Din feared the most, and it ignited a dull ache in your chest.
Din, realizing he probably shouldn't have mentioned that, cleared that subject away and instead continued, "Wanna keep working tomorrow and take a break for today?"
"Yeah," you immediately replied, lifting your face while your head still rested on his shoulder. Any sort of grief that was on your expression vanished when you looked up at him. "We should take a swim in the lake. We kinda stink."
"We do." His face lit up into a small grin, a gentle chuckle leaving his throat. You felt his chest vibrate with the soft laughter.
Briefly, you finished off the last of that ration bar, before pressing a fleeting kiss to Din's cheek. He always seemed to brighten up into a smile whenever you did, and you always enjoyed the light flush across his face. "I'll see you in a bit."
↡
Somehow, the kid knew you were leaving.
Nothing had been mentioned to Grogu yet. It had been a discussion between yourself and Skywalker in private. You simply were not capable of starting your training. It was not something you desired entirely, and that alone would drag you down. The Jedi noticed it easily, and offered the option to return to the Mandalorian—which you took. He arranged for R2 to escort you to wherever you'd like.
While packing your belongings, you encountered Grogu—and it seemed he already recognized what was happening.
It wasn't like you were going to leave without telling him. Never. Of course, you were going to explain to him why you needed to leave. You were going to say your final goodbyes to each other. You were going to hug him so tight and you never would've let go. It was just... so soon.
It was difficult leaving Grogu again, especially after being reunited so recently. Honestly, the excitement of seeing the kid after being kidnapped had mainly been why you even left with Skywalker—because you couldn't bear the thought of being separated from him again. But... this was not what you wanted. And you knew it was possible for you to do this yourself, to relearn your past skills and master them again. You trusted in Skywalker. You trusted he'd protect Grogu with all his life. His father had been someone you could confide in and you could see so much of him in Luke already.
Grogu understood, though. Not that he could verbally make it clear to you. But as you calmly pointed out the reasons you needed to leave, he sat there, quietly, listening to every word that came out of your mouth. You couldn't count the amount of times you apologized to him. The amount of times you repeated 'I'll miss you.' The amount of times you assured and reassured him that you'd see each other again. But he accepted it all, and never complained for one second. The first time you were separated from the kid, you remembered he could not let you go. He could not stop crying, as Din explained to you. But now? He was fine. Grogu would miss you, of course, and you would miss him. But at least he understood and you wouldn't be leaving on a negative experience.
You could never forget those final words you whispered to him. The way his ears lifted and his eyes brightened upon hearing them: "I'll see you again, ad'ika."
Yet you couldn't help the guilt that weighed heavily in your chest.
A heavy sigh shifted your chest, and your eyes slowly lifted open. Meditating proved to be a difficult task when your mind was uncontrollable. This was supposed to be part of refreshing the skills you learned as a padawan, but it wasn't easy when your brain was at such an accelerated pace. Although you were surrounded by complete silence and darkness, you couldn't seem to concentrate on this today whatsoever. Some days were better but today was definitely not the day for meditating.
It's been... complicated lately.
Din would agree, too. Although you fought for so long to obtain a life like this together, it was still difficult after everything that happened. Because you were missing Grogu in your lives. It felt... weird, without him. The mere thought of him always caused your eyes to mist over.
With another deep breath, you stood from the ground and grabbed the lantern besides you. After the sun set out here, there was hardly anything to illuminate your surroundings, besides the stars above and the occasional lights from houses in the distance. That was why you normally came here to meditate, a few minutes walk from the tent.
You were rather tired, but you promised Din earlier that you'd take a swim in the lake nearby. He always seemed to enjoy that, especially after a long day—and you weren't going to lie, that was something you always loved. Mostly when Din would keep you warm afterwards...
Soon as you found your way back to the tent, you encountered Din working on the house without you. Immediately, you rushed over to him and urged him to stop, since he had already worked enough today. But he insisted that he was okay with it, considering it was cool outside now and he didn't have anything else to do while he waited for you to return. However, as you suggested to head over to the lake, he quickly dropped whatever he needed to do and helped you grab your towels and a spare change of clothes. The lake wasn't too far, either. It also happened to be within your piece of land. On foot, it was about five minutes away from the house—and as soon as you reached the water source, you both stripped to your undergarments and jumped straight into the water.
Your toes touched the water, and already it was freezing. But spending the whole day sweaty and underneath the heat of the sun, it felt wonderful on your skin. Freshwater scent filled your nose the further you stepped into the water—first, your knees were covered in water, then your thighs, your waist, and finally up to your shoulders. It was a slow process considering it was so cold, but eventually you were neck-deep into the lake. The only thing anchoring you to your spot were your toes digging into the dirt. Finally, you sunk your head into the water, drenching your hair and face.
This was the perfect place to freshen yourselves and clean up, given that you hadn't built a refresher yet. Although you doubted that you'd stop coming here once the shower was finished. A contented sigh left your mouth, and your lips curled up into a vague grin. Your mind ultimately quieted down. A state of relaxation soothed your muscles. The faint waves of the water drifted you around the lake. The stifled sounds of nocturnal insects hiding in the grass filled your ears. Out of pure tiredness, you nearly closed your eyes. Almost.
Din was nowhere to be found, now that you realized. No motion from the water surrounding you. No waves or bubbles. Spinning around, you searched for the slightest indication of Din, but nothing. The lake was much too dark during the night to see through it. If it were daytime, you would've been able to find Din—and that's if he was hiding from you underwater.
"Din?" you called. But you were met with silence.
Your eyes glanced around. His dirty clothes were still in a pile on the ground, mixed with yours—and his clean set were still there, hung up against a nearby branch alongside two towels. So, he hadn't left.
Not again...
Din always did this. Every time you came here, he always—
Something grabbed your foot, snatching you underwater. You yelped and nearly screamed, holding what little breath you had in your lungs. Opening your eyes caused them to sting, and you could see Din floating up to your level, although blurry but still visible. There was a ghost of a lighthearted smirk on his lips. It was difficult to hold in your laughter, and even though you tried, it resulted in a group of bubbles blowing up in your face. Immediately, you ascended back up towards the surface, coughing out the water you accidentally inhaled through your nostrils. Your nose stung now...
No matter how many times Din did this, you could never seem grow accustomed to it—because you never would've thought he liked to be this playful in the water. That, and... he did this when you least expected it. "Din—" Between laughter and coughing, you struggled to breathe correctly, simultaneously rubbing your eyes. "Why do you do that every time?"
"Why do you—"
When he least anticipated it, you splashed water into his face—and it was his turn to break into a fit of coughs. That earned more amusement from you, and you teasingly ruffled his hair up. "You wanna keep doing that? I'll get you back for it."
Once he calmed down, he chuckled and pushed back the soaked strands of hair out of his eyes. It had grown rather quickly recently, since he hadn't found the time to trim it... It wasn't like you minded anyway.
After spending a few more minutes in the lake, you both decided to leave, dressing yourselves in a clean set of clothes before heading back to the tent. Inside, a lantern offered a bit of visibility in the dark. Instantly, you laid down on the makeshift bed. It mainly consisted of multiple blankets along with a pillow you shared with Din.
Before deciding to sleep, you never failed to remember checking the commlink. In case anyone messaged you—specifically Skywalker with news on Grogu—then you could answer as soon as you possibly could. You opened it up expecting zero notifications, since the Jedi wouldn't contact you often to speak about the kid... Which was disappointing, but you understood. Still, there was one holomessage unread. That lit a hope within your chest, and you couldn't help gasping with excitement.
"What?" Din set himself down besides you, with his elbow still propping him up.
"We have a message from someone," you answered, a wide smile spreading across your mouth. "Maybe it's Skywalker?"
A second hardly passed when you opened the message up. A familiar figure made its appearance—and you quickly realized this had absolutely nothing to do with the kid. Which was rather discouraging, but you were curious to hear what Peli had to say. Her face was slightly blurred from the hologram, a fuzzy image glowing blue, but you could easily tell it was her with her recognizably puffy and curly hair.
"Heya!" she greeted. "Heard about your ship, uh... you know, blowing up into a million pieces. Well, have I got news for you. Because I am your friend and I care about you guys, I thought about surprising you with a replacement for the Razor Crest! And.. well, I found it! Now, it is used and needs some time to fix up some minor damages and... inconveniences, but I guarantee that by the time you come by to check it out, I'll have it ready. Same planet, same hangar as always. Of course, it'll come with a small fee (because work like this never comes free) , but since you're one of my favorite friends, I won't charge ya much. See ya!"
Peli vanished from the commlink, and you shared a glance with Din. "She found another Razor Crest?"
"Looks like it," Din answered. "Maybe we should check it out."
"We could, but..." Setting the commlink aside, you rested your head against the pillow, looking up into Din's eyes. It was difficult to say this to him, especially when you could tangibly see the hope that welled into his expression, but... It wasn't the time to leave. Not yet. "But Peli said she was still working on the ship. Shouldn't we wait a while first, then contact her to see if she has it ready?"
"We can work on something else in the meantime, then."
"Right." Clearly, you could tell what he was implying, but it was entirely against what you wanted. "Like finishing the house first."
"No, like finding the survivors from the Mandalorian covert."
"Din, I already told y—"
"I have a lead on them."
You paused, and hesitated for a second.
"I have a lead," he repeated, and you weren't sure what you could say against that. "So it'll be quick. We find the covert, buy the new Crest off Peli, and come back."
Din made everything sound so simple and straightforward—but it was always an entirely different scenario. Things never turned out the way you expected them to be, and you highly doubted this would be as easy as he thought it was. "Even though you have a lead, you can't know for sure. I'd just rather stay here. Why can't you wait?"
"Why should we wait?"
"Because we've only been here a short while."
"And...?"
"And... I'd rather spend a little more time here. I want to take a break from all the fighting and the hunting and— and everything out there. It's quiet and it's just perfect here. I thought you liked it here, too?"
"I do like it here, but I've been asking you for a while yet you never give me a straight answer. I don't want to force you to leave, but... it isn't fair that I can't search for the Mandalorians. They saved our lives on Nevarro. I need to make sure they're okay."
Honestly, you couldn't understand his rush to head away from Nata. Whether it was visiting Grogu or finding the Mandalorian covert, he was always probing around for an excuse to leave—and now with the Razor Crest, he was surely going to use that to his advantage as well. But it went entirely against what you anticipated. The idea had been to finish constructing the house before continuing with anything else that was pending, including all of that.
If he had been the one who suggested to come here in the first place, then why did he want to leave so quickly? Why would he rather break the original plans you both had in mind to go looking for the Mandalorians, or even to see Grogu? Paying a visit to the kid wasn't even possible. There was a slim chance that you would be allowed to see him. He was complaining about you failing to give him a straight answer when he probably wasn't even telling the truth about his hurry to leave.
"I—I don't know. I don't see the rush, Din! When we finish the house, then we can think about it but its too soon. We just got here."
"By then it'll be too late. The Mandalorians might move on themselves. I could miss my opportunity to find them. They can't wait for me if they don't know I'm looking for them. This is my only chance. I've waited long enough for this." He paused for a moment, and when he didn't receive a reply from you, he sighed heavily. You didn't want this. You really didn't. "It won't take long, okay? We get the information on the covert's location, find them, get the Crest and come back—"
"Then just go alone! I don't care."
You were sick of the same argument over and over again— How did he not understand that it would never be that simple? Anything could happen within those few days journeying out there. The Mandalorians might have moved on from that place already, and you wasted what scarce credits you had on transportation for nothing. They might not even be there! Din only found a lead. That never guaranteed actually locating the Mandalorians.
"Okay," was his answer. Serious and quiet. "If that's what you want."
"No, Din—" You sighed in frustration, and immediate regret took over. There was no longer any room left for argument, and he set his head back on the pillow afterwards.
"It's fine," he insisted, although you could hear the tinge of disappointment in his voice. "I can handle it myself."
You knew he could, but...
Ugh. You just didn't want him to go alone.
"Fine, I'll go!"
"You don't have to."
"I'll go, it's just... It has to be quick. I don't wanna be gone for too long."
"I already told you, it won't take long." He heard you sigh, and you glanced over to him. In the dim light the lantern offered, you could see he wasn't exactly angry... It was simply a difficult conversation. He noticed the reluctance in your expression, and he scooted closer to press a gentle kiss to your forehead. "It'll be fast... okay? We'll be back soon."
Eventually, you nodded in agreement with him. You were doing this for him... But it wasn't like you enjoyed leaving. Not at all. You could only hope this would actually pass by quickly as he said it would.
Din switched the lantern off and the both of you drifted off into sleep.
note:
AAAAH i'm so excited to be back writing for narudar again !!! although this one's going to be alot shorter than season 1 & 2, i still have alot planned 🤭 please lmk what you guys think of this chapter and what you think is gonna happen throughout the rest of this season. i love reading through all your comments and predictions !!
as you can see, they both miss grogu verrryyyyy much.... but they also have different ideas in mind, sooooooo they have some things to work out between each other 😞
i'm gonna try to update every 1-2 weeks, and hopefully i'll have this season finished by the time season 3 is released (I'M EXTREMELY EXCITED FOR SEASON 3 JKNSKDJNSF)
SUMMARY: Alone, Din reminisces in memories he wishes to return to.
WARNINGS: Heavy angst, mild fluff
WORD COUNT: 4.0k
MASTERLIST >>> MAIN MASTERLIST
The Mandalorian stepped off the transport's ramp. Dirt crunched underneath his boots once, before he paused. A multitude of passengers streamed past him. He didn't move along with them. His mind pondered over his choice to return to this system. The dark visor followed the structures that towered over him. They looked different under the daylight. The sun would soon set, though, and the glowing and bustling city he once remembered would make its appearance. The overnight rose-tinted fog should soon seep into the city as well, so everything would return to how he recalled it—when he visited with you and the kid. When he still owned the Razor Crest.
When he first came to Nata, he had everything he wanted, didn't he? He only realized that now. He shouldn't believed none of that would be taken away from him. He thought you would stay, and the kid would as well, once he was rescued. No way did losing the Razor Crest ever pass his mind. That ship was supposed to last him decades more. All of a sudden, everything was gone.
Din proceeded forward. As he continued, he encountered the exact hangar where he landed last time. The one over there, the seventh one—and caught sight of the same path that led into town, littered with lively flowers along the grass.
He stared straight ahead. Crowds, speeders, buildings, advertisements, tourists. All the same. He remembered losing Grogu through the masses of people, somehow. How had he allowed that? What was he thinking to take his eyes off of him here? He wasn't sure. You and Din had split up to find him again. He searched through the whole city, and you definitely did as well. At least you ended up locating the kid. That had been a stressful situation, but... he'd much rather go through all that again, and relive those moments again. What happened afterwards wasn't all that bad, was it?
Through the multitude, he continued. Passing markets, humans, aliens, vehicles, crosswalks—but he only had one objective.
The fountain. In the center of the public square was a fountain. Exactly the same as he recalled it. Baskets adorned with blossoms surrounded it, along with benches around the perimeter of the plaza, a distance away from the fountain. Din remembered when the kid picked a flower from one of the containers, and handed it over so you could pin it behind your ear. He could never seem to forget the wide smile that spread on your lips... That might've been the moment he realized he was actually feeling something for you.
It felt strange to be here by himself. But Din took a seat on an empty bench anyway. He glanced around, watching people pass by with their newly-purchased items in their bags, a group of small kids playing with each other, racing around the fountain. Their giggles and yelps of excitement reached his ears as the fountain occasionally sprinkled water towards their direction. In his head, he wished Grogu were there. With them. Enjoying his time with the other children. And... with you sitting besides him, on the bench. Back on Sorgan, that had been something he grew to like watching, as much as he denied it. He'd open the barn's window to supervise Grogu as he played around with the village's kids. Of course, you were never besides him considering you... hated each other, somewhat. You were always... Well, he didn't know where you were most of the time. He hardly ever saw you and it was difficult to keep a conversation with you anyway, but it wasn't like he put in much effort at the time.
That was a good time. While he hadn't built a bond with you back then, he would've preferred to return to that.
Yet what was he left with now?
A darksaber, along with a title he never asked for: Manda'lor.
What did he care about being the leader of a planet? He never visited that system in his entire life, not even as a Mandalorian. Mandalore was broken and cursed.
A weapon and a title. That was it. None of it signified much to him. Not really. This responsibility of being a... king, or whatever, was not something he wanted. He'd much rather hand everything over to Bo-Katan, but apparently that wasn't possible unless they fought over it. Honestly, he had no energy for that. Not now. The motivation to fight was absent, because battling against Gideon and the darktroopers had been enough for him. Still, he hadn't even obtained the opportunity to sleep and regain his energy. He never understood Kryze's persistence in returning the darksaber back to her, and he never would've imagined the mantle of leadership would've been handed over to him. All of this only left him feeling dull. Not powerful or mighty or special. Just dull. That was it.
Maybe it was because he lost you and the kid... but the darksaber didn't make him feel anything.
A sigh escaped his throat. He stood from his seat, and this time, he explored the city for some time. Aimlessly. With no specific point of destination in mind.
However, the more he spent stuck within all that commotion and all that noise, the more Din was stressing out. What he needed was a place of quietude—serene and silent. Here, with his emotions running rampant within his brain, his mood at the lowest its ever been in a while, and with the lack of sleep he currently had, a dull headache was beginning to spread from the back of his skull. Soon, it would intensify, as it always did. As much as he hated to admit it, he was beginning to feel his old ways creeping back into his behavior. That cold bounty hunter that survived on brutality and violence. He despised the fact, because he never wanted to return to that. Somehow, that had faded over the course of these past few months. The kid made him change his mindset—and then of course, he had you who helped without him realizing it. He enjoyed how happy he felt with you both.
Tha lakes. That's where he needed to go. Too much clamor here for him. It was quiet there, so he headed straight towards that direction.
Maybe Din has lost himself within the city for a while. Considering he only ever visited once, it was likely for him to lose track of his whereabouts. Traveling to the city limits by foot took its time since the city was rather large. Still, compared to the rest of the planet, this was only a small portion of land. Once he caught sight of the sources of water in the distance, he felt a relief. The view was incredible from here. The hills reflected upon the clear water beneath them, distorted among the gentle waves. A forest adorned the other side of the largest lake, which was where the boats usually dock by the end of the ride, now that he remembered. He found the initial docks a few feet away, and nearly approached them, but... he wasn't doing that today. Probably not ever.
The memory of your smile and the excitement on Grogu's expression would be too much.
He decided to head away from the docks instead, and take a walk around the lake. He followed the shoreline, straying further from the city with each step. The noise slowly faded until it only faintly lingered in the air, vague and far away. His headache persisted, but at least it probably wouldn't worsen from here. Hopefully. It was definitely quieter here. Pleasant. Relaxing. He glanced around. Houses were visible in the distant, faintly—up on the tallest hills or down near the other lakes. That was... where he wanted to go. Where he would've preferred to live, if you agreed to it. When you asked him where he would like to escape to, the image of owning a home here had been the first option that came to mind. It didn't matter exactly where because he would've been satisfied either way. If you'd rather purchase an apartment in the city, he was fine with that.
This was even worse than he believed this would be. Din knew this would affect him. Simply not to this extent. Not to the point that he couldn't stop thinking about either of you— but this was the process of letting go, right? This was how it was supposed to go. At least, that was what he had to convince himself of... because he couldn't remember the last time he underwent something like this. When he lost his parents, as frightening as it all had been to him back then, the memories of overcoming all of that was vague in his brain. He was too young to remember everything clearly.
He didn't know, honestly. Watching you guys leave had had such a huge impact on him, and he never would've thought it would happen like this. He watched you leave once before, and he believed he'd never go through that again. He imagined you'd stay by his side... That after you rescued the kid, nothing would be capable of separating either of you again. Not you, not Grogu. Now, he had nothing.
Nothing. Nothing.
Nothing at all.
Din reached for the lip of his helmet, and slipped it off his head.
Din was alone here, and he needed a second to breathe. This, whatever this was, was asphyxiating. So he sighed heavily, and breathed in the scent of freshwater that lingered in the air.
He missed Grogu. His giggles. The way his ears perked when he was excited about something. His reactions as he was accustoming himself to hearing his name again. Hearing his soft snores in the hammock above the cot. Din missed carrying him, head resting on his shoulder, as he was fresh from sleep, slowly stirring awake. He missed when he would follow him around the Razor Crest when he was bored. He missed when he would try to speak. Patoo, as he would always say—but Din could never figure out what that meant to him.
And, of course, he missed you.
Your smile. How you immediately started a caring demeanor towards Grogu since the beginning. Din missed when he would head down from the cockpit into the hull, and catch you trying to keep the kid's mind off the monotonous traveling through hyperspace—playing whatever games he wanted, keep him entertained. Or when he'd catch you both resting on your cot in the corner of the ship, along with Grogu taking up the majority of your pillow. He missed your kisses and your touch and he missed everything about you. All the time he spent with you, he enjoyed... and he wanted to return all of that. He wanted to relive every moment he had with you because he had no idea when he'd see you again...
Din missed his clan.
It wasn't an official clan. It never had been, but... to him, it had been his clan. It was everything to him. Even when his Creed was broken, he knew that in the end he had you and the kid, but...
What was he even doing here?
This wasn't helping him whatsoever. He shouldn't be here— he didn't know what he was thinking, but this was not making him feel any better than before. Maybe he believed the memories would alter his mood, but it did not. What he needed to do was start new, or... perhaps return to his old ways. Continue bounty hunting, probably. What was he going to do after he delivered the Child to the client, or after he managed to find a safe planet for him? He couldn't remember. That was long ago. Well... considering the Mandalorian covert was destroyed, he could try and locate the survivors of the attack on Nevarro. That's a good start. Finding them might actually figure out what he was supposed to do with the darksaber, given that he didn't know how to even use it in combat. This would certainly distract him as well. While these feelings might not fade for a while... at least he had an objective. Something to keep his mind off of everything else.
This separation wasn't going to last forever—and he needed to keep reminding himself of that. He made his promise to see you both again, and he was going to keep it... but it might take some time. And it pained him to think of how long he'd go without seeing neither you nor Grogu. Din wasn't even sure if he was allowed to visit or not.
He knew he told you to leave. He knew he told you to complete your mission. He knew he told you to take this opportunity and finish your training. He knew he insisted that everything would be alright—that he was fine with this...
But he wished you knew. He wished you both knew that he was here, on Nata, thinking about you and the kid.
But Din needed to move on.
There was a new mission, and it didn't involve Grogu this time. It didn't involve you either. It involved the Mandalorian way. It involved finding his people, and...
Footsteps rushed towards him from behind. His shoulders tensed at hearing the sound, and his immediate instinct was to grab the handle of his blaster. Someone approached him hurriedly, although he paused and hesitated on revealing his gun because— he didn't know. Maybe it was a kid who wandered too far off, or an animal, or... or something, how could he know if he didn't turn around? But then that would risk showing his face in public, for the third time. He wasn't sure— his helmet was off and he didn't know how to react or what to do, and it was still significantly uncomfortable for strangers to see his bare face, especially since they'd recognize him as a Mandalorian—
"Din."
The grip on his weapon relaxed.
He knew that voice, but...
He turned.
But he was hallucinating, probably.
Most likely.
If he was hallucinating, then this was a clear hallucination. There you were, standing a few feet away from him. Out of breath. Wearing your usual armor with your usual cloak, and— and you seemed so real...
Definitely a hallucination.
"Din," you repeated, a lighthearted chuckle leaving your mouth as you set your palms on your knees, regaining your breath. "I've looked everywhere for you— I went through the city and I even caught you by the fountain once, but by the time I got through all the crowds a-and... all the people, you were gone and I thought I lost you and I'd never see you again, and... and—"
You trailed off, eyes fixating to his. Your eyebrows furrowed as you straightened up, slight confusion evident on your face. "Were you crying?"
Maybe. Just a little bit.
He hadn't realized until now, actually. Indeed, his eyes were misted over for a while.
"Just..." You couldn't find anything else to say, so you opened your arms and brought him into an embrace, squeezing him tightly... He dropped his helmet, quickly enveloped you into his own arms, and as soon as he managed to bury his face into your shoulder, he allowed the tears to fall liberally. Your gentle laughter faded into sniffles, and even you found yourself unable to prevent yourself from crying.
But this wasn't... bad, was it?
You're not crying because you're being separated. Now, it's because of how relieved and contented and thankful you were to be together again— or, at least that was how he felt. He hoped you thought the same...
"I'm sorry," you whispered, with the slightest falter in your voice.
Din couldn't release you for a while, nor could he speak. Not yet. But it seemed you were alright with that. If he lost you once more, he wasn't sure what he'd do. The thought of another goodbye would probably ruin him, because the previous ones had broken him down enough. If you were here, he sincerely hoped you were here to stay and not to... Well, he didn't know what other reason there'd be for you to return. There was an immense sense of relief in being able to hold you like this again, breathe in your familiar scent and hear your comforting voice, but his pulse wouldn't stop racing until he figured out why you were here. Although he was glad you came back, the thought of you leaving again was killing him, and he couldn't wait to find out you were staying... That was all he needed to hear. Then he could truly calm down.
He didn't draw back until you did, and his stomach twisted at how your hands softly found their ways to his face, holding him there for a moment. No doubt could you see the saltwater that streamed down his cheeks, and... it seemed your face was equally as tear-streaked as his own. Your thumbs swiped away the tears off his face, and an endearing smile tugged at your lips. "I knew you'd miss me but I didn't think you would miss me this much."
"How... are you here?" he finally breathed out. "And... why?"
"When we visited Ahsoka, she told me something that took me a while to accept," you explained calmly, lowering your palms to your sides. "Training with the Jedi was something I did want, but that was before. It was before I realized I'd rather be with you. Ahsoka noticed that before I did, and I was told that I didn't need a Jedi. I could handle this myself. When I left with Skywalker, he asked me if this was what I actually wanted... and I couldn't bring myself to say yes, because I don't. I realized it too late, but again, I'd rather be with you and by the time I figured that out the lightcruiser was gone..."
Nothing could explain the alleviation he felt upon hearing your explanation. Every word you voiced placated his rapid heart and he found himself quickly gaining his complete composure. "How did you know I'd be here?"
"Where else would you be?" You paused as your eyes flickered down to catch the slightest grin spreading on Din's lips. Then, "Okay, I wasn't completely sure... but I assumed you might come here, temporarily at least. And I'm really glad I came in time, so... can I stay with you?"
Could you stay with him? He couldn't believing you were even questioning this. He could never refuse. "You don't even have to ask."
Your grin grew wider along with Din's upon hearing his response. For a second, he stopped to think about what might lie ahead for you both—but then he realized... "What about Grogu?"
"It's just me, for now. Grogu... I think training with Skywalker would benefit him. He's still a kid and has plenty to learn. Is it okay if it's just me?"
"Yes," he answered without hesitation. Although of course, he'd miss Grogu. He could never forget about the bond he created with him—with all three of you together—and it would be difficult to accustom himself to a life without him. The kid had been there since the beginning, and he was the reason he was here, with you. Without him, none of this would've ever occurred... and Din would've never unearthed a love he never wanted to lose. Grogu was gone, but at least you were here now. The kid would come back one day, and he didn't doubt that. Your return would make this loss slightly easier for him and the time wouldn't pass as excruciatingly slow. "Of course it's fine, Cyar'ika."
Out of your pocket, you revealed a commlink. Immediately, you brought the object to your mouth—"R2, you're free to leave now. Thanks for flying me here."
A series of binary was audible through the device. Din assumed you were speaking to the astromech that had arrived with Skywalker on the lightcruiser. At least, it sounded like him, but he couldn't know for sure. Within a few seconds, your eyes trailed an X-Wing lifting up into the atmosphere from one of the hangars in the distance. "Did you doubt I'd let you stay with me?"
"No, but R2 insisted on staying until I found you." You leaned in, pressing a fleeting kiss to his lips, setting your palms on his shoulders. As you pulled away, he found himself bringing you closer with his hands reaching for your hips. "I love you, Din."
"I love you," he mumbled back, but this time he lifted a hand to your jaw, maintaining your head still so he could press his mouth to yours again. He could never bore himself of the taste of your lips—something he thought he'd never enjoy again. He loved feeling your fingers comb gently through his hair, caressing the nape of his neck, and how your tongue slipped into his mouth so easily. He felt you sigh, pleased, along with your hot breath vaguely fanning his skin. He found himself holding you a little tighter.
He pulled away first, though, to breath. For a moment, you stared—into his eyes, then up at the sky. Watching the skies darken and the stars faintly making their appearance. You were considering something, and Din could see that clearly on your face. Then, you drew away from him entirely, but Din held onto your hand. "Where are you going?"
"To find a place to spend the night," you replied, and your knuckles slipped from his grasp as you grabbed Din's helmet from the grass. Then, you handed the beskar over to him. "You coming with?"
Din grinned genuinely, with his eyes still misted over from earlier. He still couldn't believe you came back for him. That he didn't have to ask you to stay with him. That this was a decision you made for yourself, and that you actually wished to be with him. Of course, he never doubted you when you both confessed to each other—but this left him feeling good. This had been something he never thought he would have the chance to revel in, and he promised himself he'd never take you for granted in his entire life. He hoped to remember that. After everything, he needed someone like you to enhance his life and keep him going, prevent him from returning to his old ways. To his desolate life. Once Grogu returned, everything would feel complete.
Of course he was coming with you.
Din set the helmet over his head again, concealing his face, and followed you.
narudar—season two
thank you for reading.
final note (for now);
FINALLY !!!
i'm SO sorry for the long wait— i can't explain how crazy life has been recently, so writing this chapter was such a slooooow process 😭 i do hope you guys enjoyed it, though... writing the ending had me crying the whole time 🥲
this is the final chapter of season 2 !! to tell you the truth, i had considered ending the story here instead of continuing to season 3, or to tbobf. when i started narudar, this was supposed to be the original ending for the entire story. of course, tbobf hadn't been released and i wasn't sure where season 3 of the mandalorian was heading, so i was going to leave it here... but, their story isn't complete yet.
i'm going to continue to tbobf, and possibly season 3 as well! if you like this ending and are just going to leave it here, then i hope you enjoyed !! but if you're going to continue to newer seasons, then have fuuunnnn 🥹 i know i'm gonna have fun writing for the book of boba fett.
i already have the next season planned for the most part. it'll be shorter than usual, because mando only appears in tbobf for like 3 episodes, i think ? first chapter is going to start out entirely original, and then it'll shift into the storyline for the show. i'm so happy i finally get to write them together but they're gonna be missing grogu so much 🥲
same thing that happened when i finished season 1 will happen here. i took a break from writing for a few weeks, then i continued writing again. i'll have a release date set up for the next chapter, too ! the story will continue here as well, and will not be in a separate book.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND ALL YOUR SUPPORT ! I LOVE YOU GUYS ❤️
SUMMARY: When the plan to free the civilians under the magistrate’s rule is discussed, it’s quickly put into work. Ahsoka decides whether she’ll train you and Grogu.
WARNINGS: Canon-typical violence, Feelings
WORD COUNT: 6.4k
MASTERLIST >>> MAIN MASTERLIST
With your brain constantly distracted by a million separate thoughts at once, engaging in combat with an entire army of trained soldiers and droids built for assassination wasn't exactly ideal for your current circumstances. Sure, there was the option of staying in the Razor Crest with Grogu, but then you also insisted on helping... So, whilst the kid slept the day away, yourself and Din had ensured that the gunship was locked and completely secure so that nothing could break inside.
Morgan Elsbeth. According to Ahsoka, Morgan Elsbeth was the magistrate's name. The togruta briefly explained her story through a trek in the woods, while you formulated a quick plan. Her people were massacred as the Clone Wars raged on. Clearly, she had been one of the sole survivors through that onerous era, leading to her anger provoking an industry that even assisted in the construction of the Imperial starfleet. She destroyed worlds in the process, dilapidating them all... and this specific planet happened to be another one of her victims.
Morgan Elsbeth had knowledge on something specific, and that's what Ahsoka needed.
She had only hinted at that, and hadn't offered much more information on that. But it seemed to be important if she knew this much about the magistrate, and was so determined on taking her down.
The plan was put into work as soon as it was discussed.
There was no time to waste. There were people being tortured and on the verge of execution, so you'd rather finish this as soon as possible. Ahsoka is up first, and she insisted you follow along so you could 'practice your lightsaber skills' alongside her. But you took this as an excuse to fight together with her, rejoining as the small team of padawans that fought during the Clone Wars... Except this time, you're older, more experienced, and... these times weren't exactly the Clone Wars anymore.
Still, this should be fun.
Boots striking against the firm ground, you and the togruta race side-by-side with each other, wind pushing back your cloaks. Soldiers were already opening fire against you two, though the tinted fog prevented you from seeing anything other than the flashes of neon red zipping past you. While the mist was a disadvantage for you, it also happened to be a disadvantage for them—because, obviously, they couldn't see you either. But they knew you were coming... Already, the resounding noise of the alarm bell was warning everyone of the former Jedi heading their way. Once the walls of the town emerged into your line of vision, you nearly slowed down and hesitated... because you hadn't done this in forever.
"Ready?" Ahsoka's voice shook as she sprinted. You casted her a quick glance, an unsure look, before looking forward again. "I hope so."
She vaulted over the wall first. There was no more time for you to overthink this—so, you leapt right after her. Using the Force helped elevate yourself even higher than normal, those familiar powers thrusting you upwards... Except—unlike Ahsoka—, you didn't land on the top. Instead, you're left gripping onto the ledge, dangling against the wall. This was expected, so you weren't surprised... just slightly frustrated. It had been some time since you practiced this. Already, you could hear the repeating sounds of bullets firing and clashing against lightsabers, so you grab the edge with both hands and urge yourself up. Blaster fire bolted towards you. Soldiers were already attacking you. Your own lightsaber pulled out, hissing as it ignited, whirring with each motion and crackling against every beam that struck it.
Ahsoka deals with the soldiers on one side, while you fight the others entering from the opposite side. There wasn't much time to ponder over how it felt to wield this weapon again after so long... Although out of practice, your past training began to kick into your brain. Weapon jerking forward, you deflect another bullet. While dodging, you took slow steps forward to your opponent. The soldier repeatedly fired, but when you were in close proximity, you swung the saber over your head before striking him. A couple additional soldiers appeared as reinforcements that were likely being sent in by the magistrate, though you finished those off as quickly as you possibly could. When you turned back to Ahsoka, you noticed the soldier that had snuck past you and was heading towards her. You wouldn't be surprised if Morgan Elsbeth had commanded her army to target her. Barrel of his gun already pointed at her head, he prepared himself to pull the trigger. Ahsoka had already sensed him easily, but as she was caught up with battling against another duo of rivals, you beat her to it. With all your force, you swiped, once. Along with the soldier, the alarm bell had been carved in half by you. Though as the soldier's body collapsed to the floor, the bell instead rolled off the boundary walls of the town. A vibrant thud chimed throughout the air as it made contact with the ground below.
As soon as Ahsoka finalized the remaining opponents, she pulled you down to a crouch. It seemed there were extra squads of soldiers already heading out, surrounding the platform you both stood on. "I will deal with the magistrate," she whispered urgently. "Remember she's supposed to think you're dead. Get to Mando, and... work on your lightsaber skills."
"I'll try." Lightsaber switching off, you hooked it back to your belt momentarily. "But it's been a while..."
A smirk lifted her lips. "Don't try..."
"Do or do not," you deadpanned. "Do not try. Yeah, I remember... I'm surprised you still remember that."
She offered one final smile, before standing back upright and heading for the magistrate. You, on the other hand, briefly located a way off the platform, down the wall and concealing yourself within an alleyway, between a pair of houses. Here, you were capable of eavesdropping on the conversation between Ahsoka and the magistrate. Weapon's hilt gripped firmly within your palm, you focused on listening in—although from your position, you could only pick out bits and pieces. The idea of sneaking closer had crossed your mind, but you had decided against it considering you could easily be spotted. So, you waited instead.
"Execute them," came Morgan Elsbeth's clear voice, referring to the tortured villagers. "Then go door-to-door."
Between all of that, the guards opened fire against Ahsoka, leaving her temporarily retreating the situation so that she could slink into the magistrate's property another way. Your heart dropped when the anguished screams of the tormented civilians reached your ears, forced to suffer within their torture posts. Their shrieks and cries for help were becoming louder by the second as the magistrate's servants increased the intensity of their harsh treatment. Honestly, you were feeling sick to your stomach...
Once you heard Din's jetpack reverberate through the air, followed by the thud of his landing, you took that as your signal. You emerged from your momentary hiding spot, activating your lightsaber and attempting to dodge blaster bullets while simultaneously approaching Din. When you reached him, you were forced back-to-back in order to fight against any remaining soldiers. With Din firing his gun and you deflecting blaster beams back towards your enemies, the lingering guards had soon dissipated. But when movement was caught in your peripheral vision, you nearly attacked a man who happened to be innocent. This actually happened to be the exact citizen that yourself and Din had initially spoken to upon arriving here in the town. Given he was an ally, both you and Din set your weapons away for a moment, before urging the villager to hide within his home until these circumstances were taken care of.
"Can you free those villagers?" You asked, gesturing with your head towards the people who were still in the process of being executed. Din agreed with a single nod. "Okay, I'm gonna let everyone else know they should hide."
Alerting the entire town to obscure themselves within the security of their homes had taken a moment, but considering it wasn't a large village, it hadn't occupied too much of your time. Soon enough, the grand majority of them had taken your warnings seriously and rushed straight back into their houses. But once you had returned to Din, it appeared that an ex-militant guard had survived. He also happened to be the same man who shared Ahsoka's coordinates before you reunited with her. Casting a quick glance back, you were relieved to catch a glimpse of Ahsoka standing on the boundary walls of the magistrate's land. Seconds later, she hopped inside and vanished.
Nearing Din until you were by his side, your attention then returned to the soldier.
"So you threw in with the Jedi," he commented. At the moment, he didn't seem hostile and simply wished to converse, but neither you nor Din trusted him whatsoever.
Din replied first, "Looks that way."
Beskar striking lightsabers, a sonorous ring resonated through the town.
A sound that... reminded you of that brainless decision you had made the day you tried to fight Din with a lightsaber. But if it weren't for said brainless decision, you wouldn't even be here...
"Who do you think's gonna win?"
You block out the ex-militant's voice. There's grunting and clashing of weapons audible. Evidently, you knew who was going to win this round—because you highly doubted the magistrate could beat Ahsoka in a battle. Slowly, the soldier began nearing in... You weren't going to comply with his efforts to distract you in order to discreetly attack, and neither was Din.
"Could be your side..." he continued. Blaster gripped firmly in both his hands, he proceeded towards you guys. Suspicion crept into your nerves. "Could be my side..."
Along with suspicion quickly came unease. By the way Din shifted slightly in the corner of your eye, you could tell he was equally as uncomfortable as you were—and he didn't like how close the soldier was getting. Din's gloved fingers grazed against the palm of your hand—as if readying himself to pull you out of the way in case it were necessary. As the battle continued in the background, you were preparing yourself to reveal your blaster here. The fight seemed to be lasting an eternity since you were stuck dealing with this relentless guard who wouldn't back off.
"I got no quarrel with either of you—"
"That's far enough," Din ordered. His other arm outstretching, he held his hand out to halt him where he was.
"You and I... we're a lot alike. Willing to lay our lives down for the right cause." The man paused his footsteps. "Which this is not."
He was only trying to convince you that he recognized his wrongdoings. Perhaps he did, but he probably didn't regret any of that whatsoever. His sole purpose was to serve the magistrate.
Beskar dropped. Colliding into the floor with a metallic echo.
Your side wins.
"Sounds like you win." Unhurriedly, the ex-militant crouched down to his knees... settling his blaster down on the ground, seemingly surrendering.
Except he wasn't—and you weren't surprised when he revealed another blaster.
Everything happened in a flash. Din fired, the soldier fired, you pulled out your lightsaber—
It took you a second to comprehend what the aftermath was, and whether anybody had been injured. When your racing heart slowly settled down, you noticed Din had tried to shield you with his vambrace in front of your face—though you managed to protect both of you with your weapon. You remembered feeling the bullet deflect against your saber, but you doubted it had struck the guard. Instead, Din seemed to have aimed successfully, because the man released his hold on his gun while his body slumped to the ground. Yourself and Din pulled away from each other when there was no longer a threat to your lives.
There was something about knowing he had your back... that you really liked.
You had sensed it first. A warning provoking the back of your mind. Something was trying to attack you and Din. Then, an urgent voice—"Behind you!"
Blaster instinctively drawn out, you whirled around and blasted the HK assassin droid from the roof of a structure. Electricity sparked through the hole in its chest, before its mechanical figure rolled off the house and collapsed to the ground beneath it. Only when you ensured that Din was alright—and him returning the gesture—did you turn to meet with the kind and mature gaze of the same civilian man you had met earlier. He had been the one to alert you of the droid.
It was over. These people could finally earn the freedom they deserved, without suffering underneath the magistrate's spiteful rule. Turned out, the same man became the subsequent governor to the town. You were convinced he'd make an excellent leader, and this small city would truly benefit from this. There was a celebration afterwards, which you participated in for a short amount of time. But considering your group happened to be rather worn out from the battle, Ahsoka had pulled you guys away from the event.
Beskar spear gripped between her fingers, she stopped right in front of the town's open gates, clanking the bottom of the weapon once on the ground. Her eyes met with Din's visor. "I believe this was your payment."
It seemed she remembered the 'agreement' you and Din maintained with the magistrate when she had seized the spear from her. But Din couldn't agree on receiving it "No, I can't accept. I didn't finish the job."
"No..." she agreed. Clearly, he hadn't killed the Jedi as Morgan Elsbeth wanted—though that wasn't Ahsoka's point here. "But this belongs with a Mandalorian."
He thought about it for a second... but eventually, finding she was correct, he lifted his hand to—
"Because if not—" She drew it away from him before he could grab it, shifting it over to you instead. "I'll give it to my friend here."
"Yes please." Your eyes brightened, before snatching the spear from her grip.
Din was probably glaring at you underneath the helmet, but you only provided him with a playful grin. "You're not a Mandalorian."
"I know. I can still keep it, though... I like it." You gave in anyway, because it did belong to him. So, you offered him the weapon. "But I think it suits you better."
The chuckle that left his voice modulator was hardly audible, but still there. His gloved hand grasped around the spear, tightening as he brought it to his side. You weren't wrong—it did suit him, coordinating wonderfully with the rest of his silver armor.
"Where is your little friend?" Ahsoka asked, referring to Grogu. Her question had lured you out of your head (because maybe you were admiring Din just a tiny bit), and a pit of nervousness developed in your stomach. It wasn't her fault she'd ruined the light-hearted moment between you and Din, because... it was time. As much as you wished to delay this as far as possible, it was time to say goodbye...
"Back at the ship..." Din's reluctance tinged his voice. His gloved hand gripped the spear tighter, visor directing back out towards the lifeless wilderness. "Wait here, I'll go get him."
As he stepped away, you shared a brief glance with Ahsoka... and the urge to ask whether she'd decided or not was intense, but you didn't know. She had likely determined her answer, and you didn't doubt that. The problem was that you weren't sure if you were prepared for that answer. If you stay with Din, or if you go with Grogu— you couldn't figure out if you wanted either of those options. What you actually wanted was clear now... but you couldn't have it.
A quiet sigh left your lips. "I'm gonna... go say goodbye."
Goodbye to who, you didn't specify. But it's not like you had that information. All you knew was that you weren't going to see one of them in a while... perhaps never again.
Ahsoka nodded, "Take your time."
Without hesitating, you caught up with Din. He had already worked out a way to attach the beskar spear to his back. While you accompanied each other through the silent forest, you glimpsed at him for a second—and he seemed to have something to say. Yet he couldn't bring himself to say it, so he lifted his gaze forward again. Already, you were feeling the tears beginning to form in your eyes, and you forced yourself to look away from him as well. Only recently had you realized how much this was going to affect you. The way your feelings had tangled you up in all of this had been so rapid and discreet, without your own consent. You had strived to prevent yourself from feeling anything towards him and Grogu again, and yet here you were.
Hoping to break the silence with him, you try to spark a conversation. At least something to keep your mind occupied while you reluctantly head straight for the Razor Crest. "Thanks for... everything, I guess. Helping me and the kid find a Jedi."
"Any time," he replied, quietly.
"I'll take care of Grogu," you voiced. Even though you weren't completely sure if you were leaving with the kid, but... Din didn't know that. "I promise."
"I don't doubt it."
Okay, he was being weird.
He probably didn't feel like talking. That's all.
It's fine. He didn't want to be separated from Grogu, and you understood that...
If there's anything these past few months spent in Din's company, it's that... he wouldn't show you anything. He could never bring himself to express what he was feeling to you—except for that rare exception when you were discussing whether or not Grogu appreciated him. Din would never openly tell you if he liked something or not... but you knew. You knew he wasn't going to like this. He didn't want Grogu to leave... and whether or not you believed it, he wished you didn't leave him either. Because what else was his 'I'm gonna miss you' supposed to mean?
You stopped in your tracks. "Din."
He also halted a few steps away from you, confused as he glanced back with his helmet tilted. "What?"
Heart battering against your chest, you vaguely played with the hem of your cloak's sleeve. Now, you held his full attention—yet you had no idea how to say this to him. Mentally, you were punching yourself for doing this... "I don't know, I just— I think that..." you trailed off, for a long moment—then sighed, heavily. "I really don't know."
"You're regretting it," he assumed.
He approached you, and you raised your eyes to gaze into the dark T-visor of his helmet. "A little bit... yeah."
"You'll be fine."
"I know I'll be fine." You paused... before lifting your hand, setting your palm against his helmet. Where the side of his face would be, but instead it was masked by the dent of his beskar. "But what about you?"
"Me?"
You nodded.
"I'm fine."
You didn't miss the way his chest heaved with a sigh. How his voice was even quieter than before. How he seemed to lean into your touch—vaguely—even though you weren't actually holding his face.
"Are you sure, Din?"
"Yes..."
Well, maybe you were thinking about this too much. Din would miss you, as he admitted. But he'd be alright. He didn't need you, and he's completely fine on his own. So you pulled back, bringing your hand to your side. It was... slightly disappointing that he didn't feel anything else, you confessed. But it was your fault for expecting there to be something more.
Unless he was still... trying to hide it. Lying to you.
You truly didn't know, and you were much too afraid to ask.
"Good," you finally replied, stepping away from him and heading towards the Crest's direction. "That's good—"
"Wait."
Now it was your turn to spin back around, and it was his turn to be lost for words. But you had noticed the way he had reached out for you. Unsure, he brought his hand back as you turned back. His voice modulator crackled as he sighed. "I don't know either."
Damn, he was confusing you.
"Let's just... Let's get the kid," you suggested. "And maybe figure this out."
Neither of you knew. It was frustrating, unclear, upsetting altogether. Nobody knew how to respond to this—not you, not Din. You knew what you were feeling, but did Din know himself? If you told him, would his response be the same as yours? Would he consider allowing you to stay with him in the Crest? You didn't know. And what was most difficult to understand was what Din was unsure about as well.
But you both agreed to head back to the gunship. Because that was the only reasonable solution to these inexplicable thoughts that invaded your brain. Without uttering another word to each other, you travel in silence until you reach the familiar grey figure of the Razor Crest. Grogu lay tranquilly, without disturbance within his makeshift hammock that hung against the confined walls of Din's cot. His eyes that were previously shut closed, had slowly twitched open when Din gently shook the hammock to wake him.
"Wake up, buddy," Din whispered. "It's... time to say goodbye."
Hearing Din's familiarly distorted voice call for him had stirred him awake even further, but he was still mainly asleep. Din carefully brought him out of his bed, setting him against his lap so he could have a moment with him before they were to say their final goodbyes. For a second, you watched... and sighed, before allowing them some time together. With the way Din caressed one of Grogu's little claws, you couldn't bring yourself to look anymore in case you couldn't control the warning of the tears on the verge of falling. Instead, you stepped outside for a short amount of fresh air, settling yourself down against the open ramp of the vessel. Listening to the gentle whisper of Din occasionally speaking to the kid, and Grogu's drowsy responses, hadn't helped your state of mind whatsoever.
But you allowed yourself this moment to cry. To let it out, or else it'll come out when you can't handle it anymore. To the point that it would escape when you least want it, likely in front of Din. You didn't need to break down in front of him one more time. You didn't need him to pull you tight to him and embrace you within his arms, because then it would truly become more difficult for you. Instead, you cried here. With your back turned against both Din and Grogu, you permitted inaudible sobs to yourself as saltwater coursed down your face. But you pretended it was alright. Because if Din was fine, so should you. From Din's perspective, you were equally as okay with this as he was.
Why were you even crying to yourself? It was only Din. Din Djarin, a Mandalorian you happened to partner with to save a baby's life. That was it. Nothing else existed between you guys. Every time you thought there was something more, it turned out to be false. Your mind playing tricks on you. Your imagination getting the best of you, compelling you to believe that Din actually liked you. It was never true, and... he was only going to miss you because he'd grown accustomed to your company. It would take him a while to return to his usual lifestyle—bounty hunting, alone. But he should be fine.
Unlatching your lightsaber from your utility belt, your eyes observed the hilt as your fingers brushed over its details and markings—all of which you had chosen to include in your weapon. This was what you wanted. To be trained by a Jedi, so that you could straightforwardly handle your abilities and enhance your skills. Without fearing you'd fall because you simply didn't know how to control your powers. This was good. This was supposed to be good, because then you'd forget about everything else.
You can forget that you love Din.
But... then you remembered you were keeping something from him. Reaching into your shirt, your digits pulled out a necklace. The intricate design of the silver mythosaur skull glinted underneath the faint light from the interior of the Razor Crest. It always reminded you of Din. Even when you were seething with wrath towards him, simply looking at the necklace helped you remember the easier times and the light-hearted moments between yourself, Grogu, and Din. When your sole objective was to safeguard the kid from anything or anyone that may hunt him down—and while that still often occurs now, it was different. Because before, Grogu didn't have to be trained by a Jedi... and neither did you.
You should return it.
You had to return it, or else this would continually remind you of Din. It would cause everything to become even more difficult than it already was.
Running your hands against your face for a second, you attempted to rid of the remaining tears and returned the placid, serious expression on your face. At least, you thought your expressions were placid and serious... but you weren't even sure if Din was believing it. When you stood, Din was already making his way towards you, gently holding Grogu near to his beskar-clad chest. It was apparent—he did not want to separate from the kid, especially not after everything he underwent to reach this goal. Briefly, you hooked your weapon back to your hip and tugged the necklace over your head. The tilt in Din's helmet when he caught sight of the recognizable object in your palm was clear.
"There's something I want to give you," you voiced, halting yourself a couple feet away from him. "Well, give back to you."
"No," was his instant refusal, soon as he caught sight of the object in your palm. "Keep it."
"I can't keep it. I know it's important to you." That was true—while you weren't entirely sure what it signified for him, you knew had to be important to him if his dying wish had been for you to keep it.
"It is important to me, which is why I need you to keep it." Din didn't seem to back down from the notion of allowing you to keep it. Still, you thoroughly considered returning it to him, but then... "Plus, it... looks better on you..."
Maybe you could keep it.
Gaze dropping, you couldn't help the small grin that spread on your lips, a soft chuckle escaping your mouth as you tried to discreetly hide the smile from him (he wasn't supposed to know how happy he makes you, even during a time like this). Finally giving in, you slid the mythosaur pendant over your head again. Except instead of concealing it underneath your clothes, you allowed it to lay against the breastplate of your armor.
Din probably agreed that it looked better that way.
"What are you leaving for Grogu, then?" you questioned. Din seemed to have the answer prepared already, because he swiftly revealed the kid's favorite silver ball from one of his pockets, and handed it over to him. Grogu delightedly grabbed the toy between both his claws, his bright eyes sparkling as he observed it. You actually beamed at that. "Couldn't have thought of a more perfect gift for him."
"You're like parents to him."
Ahsoka's voice had... startled you, to say the least. You didn't want to admit that you had flinched and nearly struck your head against the Crest's ceiling (but perhaps that were a bit of exaggeration). Both yours and Din's attention swapped over to the togruta, who stood by the ramp of the gunship, arms crossed as she waited. She must have been waiting a while in town already, so it made complete sense that she located you guys again. Maybe you had taken too long with the goodbyes.
Still, her comment interested you—because why did she notice that now? "What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means I cannot train him," she replied. "And I can't train you, either."
"You made us a promise," Din voiced, evidently stumped as to why she didn't complete the agreement, if that was what was discussed between the three of you. "And I held up my end."
Taking slow steps, Ahsoka Tano approached you both, lifting her fingers to hold one of Grogu's smaller palms. Her eyes shifted between Din, then to you, seemingly considering another option that were more suitable. Then, "There is one possibility... Go to the planet Tython. There, you will find the ancient ruins of a temple that has a strong connection to the Force. Place Grogu on the seeing stone at the top of the mountain."
Seeing stones had been something you never had the opportunity to experience. According to what you heard from the masters back when you were training, a seeing stone would enable you to communicate with nearby Force-sensitive beings and Jedi. If you had thought of it in the first place, you probably would have saved yourself all of... this. But you weren't even sure if you would have been able to connect with the seeing stone anyway.
Din wasn't familiar with this type of knowledge, though he tried his best to understand. "Then what?"
"Then Grogu may choose his path. If he reaches out through the Force, there's a chance a Jedi may sense his presence and come searching for him. Then again..." With a somber expression, her azure gaze dropped. "There aren't many Jedi left."
It seemed Din was completely fine with the concept, and only offered a 'thank you.' His visor swapped over to you for a split second. "I'll be up in a second," you informed him. He seemed to perceive that you wished to speak with Ahsoka alone before leaving, so he headed back to the ship with a half-asleep Grogu secure in his arms. When you watched his figure disappear into the gunship, your eyes returned to the togruta. "I don't know what to do."
"Do what you think you should," she answered calmly. "You can be trained by a Jedi and you may find one at the seeing stone, but you don't have to be. It's not your only option."
"So, I can just stay with..."
"With your... What— boyfriend?"
"Boyfriend?" You repeated, shaking your head in refusal. Come on, it really wasn't that obvious. "No. He's not."
She hummed, crossing her arms. "Hmm... Well, when you mentioned you were afraid of hurting the ones you loved, I kind of assumed..."
"Grogu. I meant Grogu."
"I'm sure that also meant Grogu, yes." A smile spread on her lips.
You pushed that particular subject aside. "So what if I choose not to go with a Jedi..."
"If you're not aiming to become a Jedi again, then you don't need to be trained. Since you know the basics... I think you can do this yourself, with some practice."
"I'll... I'll think about it, I guess." You paused for a second... Mind shifting to the fact that this would probably be the last time you'll see her in a while. If everything goes well and you locate a Jedi, it would be some time before you're able to meet up with her again. "Thank you, Ahsoka."
Ahsoka nodded, pulling you into an embrace. "We'll meet again."
Your chin rested on her shoulder as you wrapped your arms around her as well. "Yeah. Of course. Now that I know you're alive, you're not getting rid of me too easily." After a few seconds, you both draw away from each other. "Unless something happens to me."
"May the Force be with you," she replied, her grin still present on her features. "Take care of little Grogu."
"I will. May the Force be with you," you repeated. Sharing one final glance between each other, you finally depart from Ahsoka and head back into the Razor Crest, shutting the ramp closed as you entered. Watching as her figure disappeared while the ramp raised, you caught one final glimpse of her—her body disappearing, then her face, and finally the tips of her striped lekku. Then, she was gone. Within the next few moments, the vessel was lifting itself out of the atmosphere, disappearing from the planet Corvus. There was no telling when you'd meet with Ahsoka again, but you certainly hoped that were soon. Truly, it was refreshing to be capable of reuniting with someone from the past, especially after believing they were no longer alive.
Your chest heaved with a heavy sigh as you felt the ship lift up into the air. Instead of climbing up the ladder to meet with Din and Grogu, you briefly retrieved your datapad and settled yourself down in your cot. Your spine ached from the fighting earlier, so resting your back against this bed definitely relieved some of that dull pain. Datapad switching on and illuminating your face, you immediately searched for the public prison registry. This had been an idea on your mind for a while—ever since you remembered that specific moment from your childhood. The bounty hunter with those glowing eyes—you needed to know who that was, and what better way to find him than to explore the prison records? Perhaps you could find him through here, because if he'd been hunting illegally, then he was bound to end up in incarcerated at least once in his life. There wasn't much information that the registry could allow for the public, but at least it would be something. A name was all you were asking for.
It had been... possibly hours, probing through the records in search of this bounty hunter. It had been narrowed down to mainly two species: duros and chiss, amongst a scarce amount of other similar possibilities. Sometime into your searching, Grogu had hopped down the ladder by himself and laid down besides you. You hadn't even noticed him until he pushed your head to the edge of your pillow so that he could steal the majority of the pillow and lay there, besides your face.
"Not nice." You frowned. Though his bright eyes focused on the datapad in your hands—and it was clear he were only curious about what you were doing... He wanted to see, even though it meant shoving your head to the side. You chuckled to yourself at the thought. "You want to see!l? I'm just looking at... the prison registry. You probably wouldn't understand. Just looking for someone."
Grogu remained completely silent besides you whilst you continued. There was a plethora of prisoners and ex-prisoners who closely resembled the image in your head. Everyone had their similarities, but... none of them seemed to fit correctly... You weren't sure. Perhaps you weren't even remembering him properly, considering you only saw a brief flash of him. There was... one person in particular, though. It wasn't for sure—not entirely—but this duros had several encounters with Jedi and clones, according to the limited amount of information allowed in this registry. It could be him. Especially after taking a look at the single holopicture of his headshot. Still, you weren't entirely convinced—but those eyes, vivid red? It was possible. Perhaps it were your mind simply playing tricks on you, but they were strangely familiar. It could be this... Cad Bane. Right?
Kriff, you didn't know. How could this be for certain?
As described in his information, he was no longer imprisoned. They hadn't specified if he escaped or his sentence was over, but... you could find him. Somehow, you'll gather more knowledge on this bounty hunter and make sure that this was the correct one. If you turned out to be wrong, then you'd probably keep searching. But if this were true—if this hunter had been the one who attempted to take you—then, you'd find him and find out why. What prompted him into killing your parents in order to reach you. It didn't matter how or when, but when this was all over... you'd find your way to him. One way or another.
For now, though... you should probably focus on something else.
Shutting off the datapad, you set it down besides you, before shifting your gaze to Grogu. "What's Din doing up there, kid? I'm surprised he hasn't come down yet." Rising back up to your feet, you brought the kid along with you, securing him in your arms. Then, you carefully clambered up the ladder heading up, holding Grogu with one arm while utilizing the other to climb.
"Oh," you whispered. Soon as you stepped foot into the cockpit, your gaze landed on Din—who happened to be sleeping. It was impossible to see past his helmet, but with the way his head tilted to the side and there was no reaction to you entering, it was apparent he had fallen asleep. Plus, he always slept with his arms crossed over his chest... you weren't exactly sure why, to be honest.
It was no wonder the kid came down to the hull on his own.
"Patoo," Grogu's voice echoed through the cockpit.
"Shhh—" Lifting a single finger to your lips, you gestured for him to keep silent. "Come on. Let's not wake him up."
Returning to the hull, you opened Din's cot to grab a blanket for him— Only, there wasn't one. A sigh left your mouth once you realized he had handed over all of his blankets to you and Grogu. Which was appreciated, but the Razor Crest happened to grow exceedingly cold at times—especially when traveling through hyperspace. Instead, you grabbed the blanket from your own bed, rolling it up with a single hand, before lifting it towards Grogu. "Can you hold this for me?"
He willingly complied—surprisingly enough—, taking the fabric into his claws. You allowed him to keep it until you ascended the ladder again, before whispering a quiet 'thank you' to him as you took the material from his grasp. Unrolling it, you gently settled the blanket over Din's shoulders—which proved to be somewhat difficult with one hand, but you managed. Surprisingly, Din hadn't shifted in the slightest bit. Which meant he was absolutely exhausted, because Din was normally an extremely light sleeper and stirred awake with absolutely any faint sound that reached his ears.
He didn't seem cold, but he could be hiding it underneath all those layers of clothes and armor. As he always did. Din had cared for you before, though. The least you could do was return the favor...
Once the blanket covered his figure, you retreated downstairs again. "So, kid, are you hungry?" You asked, earning a response from Grogu as his ears perked. A grin grew on your lips. "I'll take that as a yes. Let's see if we have any cookies left."
Even though you were confused (and perhaps even slightly disappointed with today's outcome), there was one thing that was clear—and that was, you were relieved to be capable of spending more time with Din and Grogu together. Even if it were for a short amount of time. It seemed that this visit to Corvus had left you realizing how much dividing your little crew would affect you...
Ok ok ok so Din and reader are actually foils of each other because din sticks to his creed and is very mandalorian, to the point where it is his name sort of, however she left her culture and people and is actively pushing away her connection to the force which translates to them being perfect for eachother
thats a great observation 👁 👄 👁
now we’re gonna have din realizing that he doesn’t have to hide his face and stick to his creed so strictly in order to be a mandalorian. and during their visit to corvus, ahsoka shows reader that she doesn’t have to hide her force-sensitivity or get trained by a jedi to help her control it/hide it even further.
it’s all coming together towards the end of season 2… and we’ll see what happens 🤭
and i actually never thought of it the way you did but I LOVE IT! it’s very true!! ❤️
SUMMARY: Din shares his concerns with you. Ahsoka reveals knowledge on the Child and helps you realize information about yourself as well.
WARNINGS: Fluff (??!!!?!)
WORD COUNT: 5.3k
MASTERLIST >>> MAIN MASTERLIST
"Will you quit pacing around?"
Becoming impatient was something you would've anticipated from yourself, but from Din? Since Ahsoka took the Child, he's been treading back in forth, without failing to maintain both of them in sight. You weren't sure what the problem was with him. Time and time again you had reassured him that the togruta could be trusted and that she would never harm the kid, yet he continued. Both of them were well in his line of vision, sitting a distance away between a radiant lantern. But he never stopped.
Seated on the ground as you waited, you were beginning to understand that the Child's safety was not what he was concerned over. There was definitely something else.
Ahsoka wanted to talk to the kid. That was what she had told you when you first explained to her why he was brought here. For a moment, you couldn't exactly comprehend what she was saying... because how could you possibly have a conversation with the Child? But then you realized what she actually meant. It was not a verbal discussion. Instead, they would communicate through the Force. Din had been confused when you explained it to him, but he was able to somewhat grasp what you meant. It was something you never attempted with the kid, considering you never willingly used the Force around him. Though you did wonder how it was going for Ahsoka, trying to hold a conversation with him.
Quietly, you counted your remaining ammunitions. From your peripheral vision, you watched as Din halted—and sighed. His visor didn't leave the Child. "I'm... worried."
"I can tell," you replied, lifting your gaze. "Why? I already told you she can be trusted with him."
"It's not that."
"Then what?"
His visor swapped over to you, and he hesitated.
You took a brief minute to think when he didn't answer you. It took you another moment for your mind to connect everything together... Of course he wasn't only worried over the kid. "You're worried about what he's saying about us. About you?"
Your guess sounded more like an statement rather than a question. Din nodded once, silently.
"I'm sure he's not saying anything bad," you assured him, tilting your head down to start recounting your ammo again. "Why would he?"
That seemed to stop him from pacing around, finally. Instead he sat down besides you. "I don't know."
You thought you'd let the subject pass, given that he had finally calmed down (or that's what you perceived). As you finished checking your ammunition, you realized you were definitely running too low for your comfort. You hadn't exactly had much time to restock recently. Perhaps Din had some extra in the ship—
"I haven't been good enough for him."
That lured you out of your mental calculations. "What?"
So, he was actually troubled by this. More so than you imagined. Immediately, you set your stuff aside, then turned your head to face him. "You've always been good enough for him." You never would've thought he was overthinking this. Did he actually think he wasn't doing a decent job caring for him? "You've been... more than good enough for him, since the beginning."
"He almost died in the hands of some Imps that I handed him over to." His response tinged with frustration he felt over himself. "I wouldn't say since the beginning."
"So? I made the same mistake. But you went back for him when nobody told you to. You were the first to save him, so why would he complain about you? I've always seen him attached to you." You paused for a second, hoping he'd understand that he was wrong. Why would the Child even think about him like that? You doubted it. "Besides, if he thinks you're not good enough then he'll think the same way about me."
He's attached to you, too... and I made you leave. I took him away from you."
Your chest heaved with a breath, and shook your head. "Stop thinking about that—"
"I can't." His gaze didn't leave you as he continued. "The kid, I've never seen him cry as much as he did when you left. Even in hyperspace, he never stopped staring at the ramp—like he was expecting you to come back. He didn't even want to see me when we found you on Tatooine. He never left you alone for a second. He prefers you."
This was one of the first times you'd ever heard him openly express himself to you. Honestly... you weren't sure how to respond for a second. What was for certain was that those previous jokes you made about the Child preferring you over him were regretted... and you couldn't help the guilt that welled within your chest. "I'm sorry, I was kidding earlier when I joked about that..."
"No. It's fine, I'm not... mad. He has reason to prefer you."
You frowned, brows furrowing together. "Din, he doesn't. He likes us both." You paused, several past experiences coming to mind. "When the hunters ambushed us on Tatooine, he ran back to you because he feels safe with you. When we were on Trask, he commed you twice. He didn't want to hand the comm back over to me, because he likes talking to you. When we left him at the school, once again he commed you. He loves you, too... How can you not see that?"
Din remained quiet for a while after that, visor dropping... though you knew you were getting to him. He only needed one final push so he could believe what you were saying. You were not wrong. The kid has always cared to Din—even after you left the Razor Crest. That never changed. It never will. You knew Din still felt guilty for what he did, but he had to understand that you had already set that in the past... You had forgiven him, and there was no need to keep bringing it up if it no longer mattered.
His wrists rested on his knees. You set your palm on his forearm, feeling him flinch—vaguely—underneath your touch, but relaxing seconds later. He flipped his hand facing up, beckoning you to slip yours into his. When you did, his fingers slowly intertwined with yours... and you couldn't help the grin that snuck onto your lips. Averting your gaze, you switched back to Ahsoka and the Child. They were still visible from where you sat. "I promise he's saying good things about you," you spoke softly, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, the leather of his glove making a slight sound as you did. "I know I would if I were him."
You could still feel his eyes focusing on you... and you hoped he was also smiling underneath that helmet of his.
"I'm gonna miss you."
Din whispered so quietly you almost failed to hear that, but you did. Your heart accelerated, already hammering against your ribcage—but you weren't sure if it were because he was going to miss you, or... because reality was finally setting in. Either way, he caught you off-guard. Your eyes returned to meet with his visor again. Though you weren't sure what to say, or do... Should you say the same in return? You probably should. But for some reason you pulled him in instead, closer to you... and you set your forehead against his—or at least where his forehead would be if it weren't for the beskar blocking genuine contact. Just like he had comforted you back on Sorgan with this... you could at least try to return the favor.
Not only that, but... you liked this.
"I'm gonna miss you... so much," you whispered back.
He was going to be alone after this.
You closed your eyes. Cool beskar pressing against your forehead had helped to soothe a portion of the stress that overwhelmed you. Thinking positively proved to be difficult. But Din gently rubbed his thumb along your knuckles, leather brushing your skin—and you were able to distract yourself with that for a brief second. It was nice to feel his caress... Still, those thoughts that all of a sudden upset you returned. The problem was that there was so much left unspoken between you both... and yet you never had the courage to actually say anything whatsoever. The farthest you'd ever gone was admit that you cared for him, but... you didn't only care for him. There was something more that you couldn't bring yourself to tell him about. It was too late at this point. You were leaving. There wasn't much you could do about this, and confessing wouldn't help your situation. It would only make this more difficult and that was the last thing you needed, honestly. His reaction was another factor that scared you...
The kid and yourself were leaving and he wouldn't have anyone.
You're making this harder for yourself.
You forced yourself to pull away from Din. You nearly frowned as you did, though you didn't want Din to think you were unsettled from being so close to him. It was the opposite, actually... But it wasn't like you were going to stay long anyway, because Ahsoka had finished with the Child. The togruta rose from her seat, carefully holding the kid within her arms. Behind them, the moon clarified the inky skies, turning their figures into near silhouettes.
"Looks like they're done," you started, being the first to stand.
Din followed closely ... though neither could gather the will to let go of each other's hands. It took a minute, but eventually you both decided to draw away and instead focus on approaching Ahsoka. She brought the lamp along with her, whilst simultaneously holding the Child in her other arm. Finding another spot to settle down in, she set the lantern down onto the ground before placing the kid next to her own spot. Eager to gain the answers to your questions, you and Din remained standing for now.
"Was he speaking to you?" You asked first.
Then, Din—"Do you understand him?"
You couldn't blame either of you for being so curious about it. After all, you always wondered what went through that little head of his... and perhaps whether he knew the difference between the colors red and blue. That could've saved you some time repairing the ship.
"In a way." Ahsoka tucked her hands into her cloak. "Grogu and I can feel each other's thoughts. You know how it is."
Those final few words had been directed to you, but you were too concentrated on the fact that she referred to him as Grogu. When the kid heard Grogu, he reacted to it normally. As if it were normal. Which it's not. Was it normal? You weren't sure.
Grogu.
Din and yourself were equally as shocked: "Grogu?"
You softened when the kid's expression lightened so instantaneously, a sound leaving his throat. To you, he seemed tired and in need of some rest after hours spent traveling through Corvus. But that had been set aside completely when he heard your voices say Grogu. His bright eyes suddenly seemed even brighter as he gaped up towards yourself and Din.
"Yes," Ahsoka confirmed, smile spreading on her lips. "That's his name."
Grogu. Your mind had repeated the name countless times already yet you still couldn't accustom yourself to it. You couldn't wrap around the fact that the Child had his own name all this time, though it was never used. He had always been the Child to you, and hearing his new name would definitely take you a while to adapt to it. How long has it been since he heard his own name? Probably too long. No wonder he seemed so delighted.
"Grogu?" you couldn't help but repeat once more.
His ears perked as he focused on you, and he answered with the same sound.
"Grogu." It was Din's turn. The kid's exhilarated gaze switched over to him, ears lifting again with his utmost attention. Confusion etched across his face when he wasn't gaining a response from either of you. You almost laugh. The amount of times he's heard his voice today must be driving him insane.
A gentle chuckle left your mouth instead, and you took a seat besides him. Softly, you pat his head and whisper an apology for reiterating his name so much.
"He was raised at the Jedi temple on Coruscant," Ahsoka explained. That caught you by surprise, considering you lived within the exact temple for several cycles. Yet you'd never caught a slight glimpse of a green infant with long ears and white wisps of hair.
"What?" You took a second to think. Grogu must've been in the younglings' class, so that would explain why you never encountered him before. He probably joined straight after you surpassed the youngling title and became a padawan instead. "This entire time we were in the temple together... and yet we never crossed paths. Not even once."
Ahsoka nodded at that. Presumably, Ahsoka hadn't stumbled across him either, or else she would've recognized him. She continued, "Many masters trained him over the years. At the end of the Clone Wars, when the Empire rose to power, he was hidden. Someone took him from the temple. Then his memory becomes... dark." Grogu's drowsiness was finally getting to him. "He seemed lost." His eyes drooped closed. "Alone."
Maybe he was trying to forget about his past instead... He wasn't so different from you after all.
While Ahsoka had explained Grogu's memories, Din had taken a seat besides you.
"I've only ever known one other being like this," Ahsoka voiced. You recognized exactly who she was referring to.
"Master Yoda," you assumed. Even though he was half-asleep, Grogu had recognized the familiar name and—very slightly—opened his eyes... before allowing them to drop closed again.
Ahsoka nodded. Then, "Can he still wield the Force?" When you provided her with the response—yes—, she continued. "To wield it takes a great deal of training and discipline."
"I've seen him do things I can't explain," Din added. You realized he must've been lost for the grand majority of the conversation, but you were fine with explaining everything more thoroughly to him later. "My task was to bring him to a Jedi."
Though Ahsoka remained silent for a second, you could see the vague affliction in her expression. "The Jedi Order fell a long time ago..."
"So did the Empire," Din retorted. "Yet it still hunts him."
"Ahsoka," you nearly pleaded. "He needs your help. We need your help."
The togruta considered the idea within her mind. Hesitance coming from her was completely understandable. You doubted she ever had a padawan of her own, so bringing the Child in as a padawan would be foreign territory for herself. Not only that, but then there was you. While you were already familiarized with the Force, obviously you still needed plenty of assistance to actually master it—otherwise you wouldn't be here. Eventually, Ahsoka answered as her eyes drifted towards the kid. "Let him sleep. I'll test him in the morning."
You agreed. He deserved to rest the night. Tomorrow, he can show her his skills.
Still, you wanted to speak with Ahsoka alone. Not that you didn't want Din overhearing your discussion , but you were about to ask questions about subjects he had no clue about. So you'd rather he simply retreat to the Razor Crest, and that way he could earn some rest as well. Your eyes shifted to Din, leaning in closer to him—and he imitated you to hear you better. "Can you take the kid back to the ship? I'm gonna stay here a moment."
"Grogu," Ahsoka reminded.
You smiled, your eyes flickering to Ahsoka and catching sight of her smirk, before returning to Din. "Right. Grogu."
Din was fine with the idea, so he had quickly stood and lifted the sleeping child up. Grogu stirred awake for a split second. Though as soon as his eyes lifted to see Din, he nestled himself comfortably into Din's arms and dozed off almost immediately. With that, you watched as Din walked away. You kept your eyes on him until the darkness and the tinted fog enveloped him entirely, leaving you incapable of seeing them anymore.
"You never said goodbye to us..."
Displeasing memories rushed through your mind. Blurry, yet perfectly existent. Still pestering you even after all these years. Hours spent contemplating whether or not you were worthy of the title 'Jedi.' Sleepless nights filled with overthinking. You could leave, but what the hell were you supposed to do afterwards? You could not. Yet it seemed to be the only proper solution. It was all your younger mind could possibly think of. Brain occupied by remorse and fear... and anger. It devoured you. It consumed you to the point that you had convinced yourself that you simply never were meant to be a Jedi, because you never stopped to fix yourself. You never stopped to think twice whether killing should be the first resort rather than the last resort. You never stopped loathing the person who had caused this all and disappeared without a trace.
Only, you hadn't realized that you turned out exactly like him... disappearing without a trace.
All because you were terrified of saying goodbye to your friends.
"I know," you sighed. At this point, you were almost trembling but as soon as you forced your mind out of those thoughts, you were able to prevent yourself from showing it. You couldn't help but despise talking—or even remembering—your past. Din and Grogu have always been able to distract you from it. Then, "I know, and I'm sorry."
"No..." Ahsoka met your gaze. There was that same warmth in those sapphire eyes that you could never forget. It was a familiar sight. She had always known what you were struggling with, and never failed to comfort you when you were kids. It astonished you that her eyes never changed after all this time. "Don't apologize for that."
Even that couldn't stop the guilt you were feeling. Really, you had never said a single word to anyone before you left. To be honest, you had no clue how you escaped without anyone suspecting anything. "But it was an idiotic decision. I was a kid and I didn't know what I was doing."
"Well... it looks like you're calling me an idiot, too. I also left the Order after you did." She sighed heavily, though she didn't seem irritated with you for that. On the contrary, she seemed to be joking about it.
"You left?" You leaned back, setting your palms on the ground to support most of your weight. "Why would you do that? Everything was going so well for you."
"It was," she replied, and paused for a splits second. "Until I was accused of a bombing and a murder."
Soft laughter escaped your lips. "Proves that you can't live without me. I leave, and all of a sudden you're a murderer."
"Don't let it inflate your ego." She scoffed lightheartedly. "I was falsely accused, actually. I was exiled from the Order before the Council found out I was framed by padawan Bariss Offee. By then, I was allowed back into the Order, but decided against it. I left. I thought it was a decent decision. You weren't the only one."
You hummed, and took a moment to take the information in... You had missed plenty. Definitely. "So... you copied me."
"Yes," she responded, expression blank. "I copied you. Of course."
A gentle smile curled your lips... Slowly, it dropped. Additional questions came to mind. The conversation continued for a while as you continued asking. About your master, Obi-Wan. He survived Order 66, though Ahsoka hadn't heard of him in some time. You doubted he still lived to this day, but it was relieving to know that he had been capable of surviving such a complicated era... If he had died, then you could only hope he passed without disturbance. It didn't help the case that you were never able to say goodbye to him. To see him one final time, and to let him know that you were leaving. That you would be okay. That you could meet again one day. Never telling him anything was something you found you repented. Had he been worried about you? According to Ahsoka, yes. For a period of time, he hardly didn't think about you—concerned over his former padawan's welfare. There was a time where he thought he could find you again and convince you to return, but Ahsoka had to explain everything to him and persuade him into believing the truth—that you never planned on returning. He always knew you were struggling with your temper, but he never realized it was to the extreme that you were constantly fearing yourself.
Obi-Wan blamed himself for scaring you into believing that.
But you hoped he understood, eventually. You hoped that someone had told him how much you appreciated him. How much you cared for your master and hated the fact that you never told him. Ahsoka had done you that favor.
That was only Obi-Wan. Talking about him provoked tears in your eyes, though you forced yourself not to allow them escape. Ahsoka and yourself conversed about Anakin. How one of your closest companions converted himself into a sith. It took you a moment to wrap your mind around the fact. There were rumors. There always were those rumors that you denied each time, because how could he? He was Obi-Wan's padawan, too. He was practically your brother. And yet he was tangled up in a web of lies and false stories that seduced him into the dark side. Not only that, but he left behind his wife. Padmé had been his love since the very beginning, and it was always clear to everybody. It was a miracle they were never caught. Anakin left behind his lover, and twins—as Ahsoka added.
It was disheartening. Everyone's story truly was disheartening. You were informed of most of the masters, clones, padawans—as much as you could possibly remember. Yoda, Rex, Windu, so many people that you recognized in the past. You couldn't stop asking questions and Ahsoka never seemed worn-out from providing you the knowledge, even when the hours swiftly passed through the night. When you were finally out of questions, you sighed... heavily. "That's... a lot to take in."
"I know." She nodded, once. The two of you spend a moment indulged in a comfortable silence...reflecting on the past. It was wonderful to finally obtain more information on the people you knew back then, but that was only whoever survived the Purge. That was a while ago, and not even Ahsoka knew what happened to everyone during the Empire's reign and fall. "Other than bringing Grogu to me... why are you here?"
A puff of breath left your mouth. "Like I said, I need help. I was never fully trained back then, and now I'm starting to lose control of my powers... So it scares me, sometimes. I thought I had everything under control until recently."
Din nearly dying right in front of you... Since then, you were fearing yourself again. Yes, you had almost died—or, well, you did, but managed to come back—but that was never what mattered to you. What bothered you the most was that you had acted upon such forceful feelings of wrath. In that moment, there was nothing more you wanted than to save Din... No matter the cost. All the more reason to leave. You couldn't risk it any longer. You were going to harm him one day and you couldn't bear the thought of it.
Ahsoka hummed in response. "You've been hiding the Force."
You nodded. "I have been since I left the Order. It was the only way I could survive without drawing attention to myself. The secret's out already, but now I'm just more scared of... hurting the people I love." Those final words were spoken in a lower voice. It was the first time you voiced this out-loud to someone. This was something you doubted Din could completely understand, and... you weren't sure how he would react to it either.
"I know you think it's a good idea... but you can't just suppress it. It probably doesn't make sense right now, but doing that won't help you."
"I'm not a Jedi, though. I don't deserve to be able to wield the Force. I can hardly even handle it on my own."
"It doesn't matter if you're still a Jedi. The Force is a part of you. It always has been. It surrounds all living things. You can't just push it away—"
"Then what?" Frustration tinged your voice. But you weren't frustrated with her... It was the fact that you were doing everything wrong this entire time.
"Then welcome it," she replied, calmly. "Relearn your past skills. Improve. You don't need to be a Jedi to do that."
You always believed restraining your powers were reasonable... but, truly, you had never stopped to think. No, it was not sensible. What made more sense was what Ahsoka was suggesting. If you refrained from using the Force, you weren't training yourself into being capable of controlling it. You were doing the exact contrary. If you learn to master these abilities, you weren't so vulnerable to suddenly releasing everything out all at once , without the capability of maintaining proper constraint over your powers.
"It's okay," Ahsoka continued soon as she noticed the downcast expression on your face. "You were a kid when you left the Order... You didn't know. But it's not too late to start again."
"What are you going to do, then? Train me?" There was a part of you that discreetly hoped she'd deny it... but you needed this. Even if it meant leaving Din, this was imperative. It would be temporary. It wasn't like you'd never see Din again in your life. You and Grogu would meet with him again. One day. "And the kid, too, once you see what he can do?"
Ahsoka mulled over her thoughts for a moment. Then, "Maybe you don't need me to train you." She opened her mouth, seemingly on the verge of saying something more, but stopped. Because not even she was sure of whatever she was thinking. You were confused when she hesitated. It didn't seem to be that she didn't want to help you, but there was something else on her mind. "I... will think about it. I don't know for sure yet. But, yes, like I said, I will test Grogu in the morning."
You were silent as your eyes dropped, staring at the lantern that illuminated the small area.
Ahsoka spoke up again after a while. "But even if you are trained, there's still something that's holding you back." Your eyes lifted to meet with hers again—and you already anticipated what she was going to say... "You're not accepting what happened. What brought you here."
"I don't—" You frowned, sighing once. "I don't like talking about... or thinking about it."
"It's impossible to change what happened... Denying it won't help. I'm sorry."
"I know. I know..." You hesitated... For the longest time, you hesitated. Because talking about this was difficult. Explaining your past to Din had been painful, and you were sure it upset him as much to speak about his own. But Ahsoka was not wrong. You never accepted it. Despite trying to forget it all, you never let it go entirely. It always bothered you, just like Din was always tormented by droids. This was what prevented you from leaving behind all that anger. Finally, you mustered the strength to speak up. "I don't remember the person who killed my parents. If I hadn't been Force-sensitive, he never would have found me. Without it, my parents never would've been killed and I never would've had to deal with training. I never would have left the Order, because I was never in the Order to begin with. Things would have been... different."
"You're not wrong," Ahsoka reasoned. "None of this would have happened if it weren't for your Force-sensitivity... But have you thought of the good things yet? You never would have met me, or anyone you were close to during your training. Grogu never would have found a family with you and the Mandalorian. You probably never would have met the Mandalorian, either."
Ahsoka wasn't lying. That was the truth, and honestly... you couldn't imagine your life without the memories you have at this point. Between all the unpleasant recollections were fond memories that you swore you would never forget, whether they be with the Jedi or with Din and Grogu. She was not wrong when she brought up the fact that Grogu never would've found his family without you or Din joining together in a supposedly temporary partnership. Even through bounty hunting, there was a time when you would occasionally enjoy it. You weren't saying that what occurred to yourself and to your parents was okay, but the rest wasn't all terrible. Not entirely.
"It's hard to look at it from a positive point of view..." you breathed out. "But thank you for helping me see it that way. I never would have thought about it like that. I'm... so glad we found you."
"You can't get rid of me," she answered, a smirk appearing on her expression. "Not even if you run away for another twenty years."
A light chuckle left your mouth, before another bout of silence ensued... Then, an idea formulated within your mind. "I want to remember... everything."
Ahsoka considered it. She recognized your suggestion. "Will it help you feel better about it all?"
"Yes," you replied with as much confidence you could gather. Truthfully, you weren't all that confident... In fact, you highly doubted this was the best idea. "But maybe it can help me, in some way. I can find him if I remember..."
"It might not help." Ahsoka didn't seem to keen about it, though. "It wouldn't help your anger if you killed someone."
"No. It wouldn't. I... I don't know." This time, you showed her you truly were hesitant about all of this. "What do you think..?"
"I can't decide for you... But I can help you remember."
A heavy sigh escaped your lips, and your eyes dropped again as you indulged yourself in your thoughts. Were you going to regret this? Probably, yes. But you weren't lying when you said it could help you. It could. If this person still lived... you could kill him. It didn't matter if it fueled your anger or not. He angered you enough. If he was dead... then it should all stop, right? You wouldn't have to deal with your hatred towards someone you didn't even recognize. This was going to help. That's what you repeated within your mind, multiple times. This was going to help. You were so confused, but this needed to work... Because if you didn't need training by a master Jedi, then what else are you supposed to do? You didn't know much else.
Unless you're looking at this the wrong way... and there actually was a superior solution.
It didn't matter. It wouldn't hurt to try, would it?
"I want to remember," you affirmed, finality in your tone.
Ahsoka Tano nodded, once... before lifting her hand, and setting her palm on the top of your head. Voluntarily, you shut your eyes—and within a split second, you had returned to your childhood bedroom.
note;
HIIIII!!
i know this chapter was pretty dialogue heavy (sorry!!) but i really couldn't find any other way for this chapter to go 🥲
in case you're a bit confused by the ending, ahsoka was helping cansad'ika remember—much like luke helped grogu remember his past in tbobf. so its going to be a lot like that. when i planned season 2 for narudar, i hadn't thought to do this originally, and you guys were supposed to have learned about her past a different way... but i thought adding this in instead would be better!!
so yes, we are finally going to get a bit more on her past... i've been waiting for this for a while and i'm actually REALLY excited for this 🤩
ALSO would like to say that i won't be spoiling anything for owk, or any spoilers within the story itself, even though she was obi-wan's padawan (bUT I'M LOVING THE SHOW SO FAR!!!)
SUMMARY: When you become sick, you're secretly fond of how much Din worries over you—and maybe a few things slip out.
WARNINGS: Mild violence, angst, some fluff (surprisingly)
WORD COUNT: 7.8k
MASTERLIST >>> MAIN MASTERLIST
If there was one thing you weren't expecting, it was catching a cold while trapped in the frigid confinement of the Razor Crest's cockpit, stuck with a frog lady, a baby, and Mando.
Becoming ill had been inevitable. After all, were residing underneath the scorching binary suns of Tatooine for several rotations before joining the Mandalorian and eventually crash-landing on what had presumably been Maldo Kreis, a frozen rock. With a full rotation day spent struggling to prevent hypothermia, then a few brief moments in the hot springs, before abruptly leaving the pools in order to seek shelter from the giant spiders pursuing you... Someone was bound to get sick.
It's just... did it have to be you? Really?
It started with a few sniffles here and there. You worked on the Crest's repairs alongside Din, and a slight disorientation had become noticeable... but you hadn't paid attention to it. Once those repairs were complete and your group managed to escape that dreaded world somewhat safe and sound, everyone was exhausted. Froggy, likely still traumatized by the previous incident, had fallen asleep in her chair with her arms wrapped firmly around her canister as if they could unexpectedly be yanked away from her at any given second. The Child had immediately dozed off on Din's lap—and Din, with his stillness, seemed to be sleeping because you had insisted various times on remaining awake and staying guard in case some pirate, bounty hunter, warlord, or anything remotely dangerous neared.
So, you did just that.
Only, you were cold. Shivering. Despite the half-functioning heater operating in the cockpit, your trembling wouldn't cease. The sniffling worsened, too. Yet you weren't exactly feeling... ill. So you snatched a blanket, settled yourself down in the passenger's seat and... stared at the stars. Observed the countless pin-pricks adorning the pitch-black void of outer-space, infinite and glinting, listened to the soothing sound of the ship's engine running, a gentle vibration that lulled your eyes closed...
And you fell asleep.
Hours later, your eyes snapped open. That chilled sensation, the frequent quivering, none of that had ceased by the time you awoke. Fingers clutching the thin fabric draped around your body, you found yourself incapable of feeling warm. Eyelids heavy, you lifted your head, a dull ache reverberating throughout your skull, eyes then shutting closed as a grimace appeared on your features. Every bone and muscle in your body cramped, likely due to the earlier occurrence. Eyes opening again, your gaze fell on the Mandalorian in his pilot's chair, seemingly awake and double-checking the statistics of the ship's integrity. Mentally, you cursed at yourself for falling asleep instead of keeping surveillance as promised.
Your initial reaction was to search for another blanket. This one was too... thin. Hardly sustained your body heat. Quietly, you stood to seek them although your motions felt... sluggish and sloppy, each jerk of your head accompanied by a painful thump, hands strictly gripping your shivering self. Limited visibility within the dark cockpit caused you to stumble, once—hence making you completely lose your balance, and collide face-first with the floor. The stiff, frigid floor. You nearly cursed. Loudly. But considering others were asleep, you merely groaned as silently as you could and decided to literally lay there. For a few brief seconds. Plainly because you lacked energy, despite the hours you'd previously slept. Your desire to sleep overpowered your need to return to the comfort of your seat—and for a moment, you vaguely considered the idea of easily falling asleep then and there.
But then you heard a sound—presumably Din—and opted to, reluctantly, rise back up. Muscles sore and skull pounding, you turned to meet with the Mandalorian, heavy eyes connecting with his black visor. The stars behind him, painting his beskar and reflecting off the silver steel, were the sole elements allowing you to see him; otherwise, you would've slammed into his armored chest and then you truly would've shouted some damn colorful words. Din's voice rung through the cockpit, hushed and gentle so as to not wake the Frog Lady or the Child (who had surprisingly remained asleep even after your noisy fall).
"Why are you up?"
"I was just... trying to find another blanket," you mumbled. The hoarseness that scratched your throat was noticed then, prominent and irritating. Instinctively, your fingers grasped your arms, digging into the soft fabric of your borrowed shirt. "I-It's freezing in here."
Attempting to clear your throat several times, you lifted a palm to your trachea without realizing Din had stepped away momentarily to retrieve an additional set of blankets. Only when you felt his grip on your upper arm did you notice, reacting to his gentle tug—this time, leading you himself back to your seat in case you tripped again. Once settled back into the chair, you wrapped yourself in your first blanket before Din draped the second over your shivering figure—and he froze. Palms on both sides of your arms, he paused for a second, causing you to open your mouth in order to question him. Until he spoke first, "You're shaking."
"Obviously, y-your heater sucks," you retorted, shrugging his hands off. "You need a new one. Desperately."
He removed a single glove from his hand, without answering. Before you could even comprehend what he was planning on doing, he raised an uncovered hand to your forehead—and now it was your turn to freeze.
"You're hot."
Your face flushed. Not really because of of his statement (because, of course, you knew what he truly meant by that), but more because of the... touching. The bare contact, skin-on-skin, was what had stunned you for a split second. Although swiftly afterwards, you chuckled.
"T-thanks. Did you just notice this, or...?"
Din, though, refused to follow along with your joke. He was no fun.
"That's not what I meant."
You frowned, falsely. "Ouch. That hurt, Mando."
He altered the subject again, instead focusing on the real issue. "You're sick."
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I picked up on that already."
"Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling okay?" he questioned, returning to his seat—and very carefullygrabbing the sleeping Child who occupied his chair, before sitting back down and placing the infant on his shoulder instead. The baby had surprisingly stayed asleep, eyes shut closed and ears drooping down as his face rested on the Mandalorian's shoulder. You almost smiled. He was cute.
"I thought it was nothing. But you can go back to sleep now." As you speak, you attempt to get yourself comfortable in the seat again, although that proved to be difficult. Despite there being cushioning, it wasn't the most pleasant cushioning—instead, it was actually quite stiff. But it beats sleeping on the cold, even stiffer floor. "I can stay up and keep watch. I doubt I'll be getting any s-sleep like this."
The distant lights reflecting off his armor made it possible for you to see his shoulders vibrate, slightly. A quiet chuckle escaped his modulator. "You can't stay awake for the life of you..."
"Okay, I'm offended." Your eyes narrowed. Then, you laughed quietly. "Wait, are you talking about that one bet? I wasn't trying. Not really."
Wait—
His helmet shifted to, vaguely, face you. "You weren't?"
Internally, you groaned. Recently awake and sick. You were bound to say something that wasn't the entire truth. Well, maybe it was the truth and maybe you didmean it, but... it wasn't something that Din needed to hear. Definitely not. You probably should've kept your kriffing mouth shut and gone to sleep...
"Just shut up and let me sleep."
His visor returned forwards again. "I thought you were staying guard."
"I changed my mind."
"Alright, do you... need anymore blankets?"
"No, I'm fine. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
You could... hear him smiling underneath that beskar. Biting back a grin of your own, you set your head back and shut your eyes closed, attempting to sleep again. At least a few additional hours would do you good, considering that after arriving at Trask, there's no saying when you'll be able to catch some sleep again.
...but then a familiar sound caught your attention, eyes snapping open, watching the Mandalorian set the coordinates for elsewhere. That piqued your interest, and you quickly asked, "Why are you alternating the coordinates?"
He didn't reply.
"Mandooo?"
"I thought you wanted me to shut up."
You grunted, not amused whatsoever. "Where are we going?" you pressed on.
"Landing on the nearest planet to purchase medical equipment." His gloved hands gripped the throttles then, thrusting the ship forward at a higher speed—as if he were rushed to reach this planet. "I don't have anything that treats a cold."
"Colds normally don't last too long and I can handle it myself. We can still stay on course for Trask."
"Go back to sleep."
And that was it. That was final.
Apparently, there was no changing his mind now.
Part of you wondered why he was suddenly caring for you so diligently recently. He'd cared for you before, but that was... before. Way before the Nevarro incident. So the purpose for his concern over you was unknown and rather perplexing (there was plenty of confusion going on lately, it seemed). The other part of you was actually thankful. While the two of you weren't exactly at best terms—not to mention things were tricky and awkward—he still looked after you. Sometimes, you believed you didn't deserve him but then there were particular factors that altered that belief. That made you think he didn't deserve you after what he'd done, and you were just...
Incredibly stressed out over it all.
Everything was overly complicated and you weren't even sure what to believe anymore.
Had he truly wished for you to stay or was that a lie?
...but why would he lie about that?
Din was right. Sleep would do you good.
You closed your eyes. Tried to go to sleep, but...
You were also nauseous.
Like, very nauseous.
"Mando."
"Hm."
Eyes squeezing shut, you attempted to swallow down the bile that rose within your throat. "I think I'm gonna vomit."
His helmet snapped towards you. "What? Just wait. We're almost there. Five minutes."
"Alright, but if we don't get there in time... I'm stealing your helmet and throwing up in there."
Let's just say it was a miracle you were able to undergo entering the planet's atmosphere. Especially since the ship was in such terrible shape and it made landing plenty more difficult and turbulent than it normally should be. As soon as the ship landed and the cockpit doors unsealed, you practically flew down the ladder, straight into the refresher to dump the scarce contents of your stomach into the vacctube (the noise you caused had likely startled the Frog Lady and the Child—who had awoken from all the ruckus of landing—but oh well). Behind the sealed shut 'fresher door came Din's modulated voice, "Are you okay?"
"Fine!"
Yes, you're completely fine, as you retch one final time.
You stayed there... crouched, for a moment, clutching your stomach and silently hoping nothing else came out. Presuming you wouldn't feel the need to vomit any time soon, you flushed the vacctube and headed out, gripping the fabric of the shirt Din gave you even tighter as your figure still shook. As soon as you left, your gaze fell on the Mandalorian approaching you, the Child in the satchel that swung over his shoulder, hanging loosely against his waist.
"I need some fresh air," you breathed shakily, heading out the already open ramp. Sunlight seeped into the Razor Crest, seemingly warm and soothing whilst you walked down the ramp (with no shoes, actually, but you didn't care), and practically sprinted outside—
Only it was freezing.
Absolutely freezing.
It was probably your fever causing the chill to feel even worse than it truly was, but the temperatures were no different than Maldo Kreis—except there was no snow whatsoever. From what you could see, you were in a hangar. Although you hadn't seen much else because you'd dashed back inside as quickly as possible. Due to the hull of the Crest having been exposed to the vacuum of space for such an extended amount of time, it actually wasn't any better inside. "Nevermind," you muttered underneath your breath as you continued to shiver, quickly grabbing the nearest blanket and wrapping it around your body.
"I'll be back soon," Din informed as he made his way towards you. He set a hand on your shoulder, hesitantly, and you sort of flinched, definitely forgetting how gentle touch felt from him, but didn't shrug his palm away—because maybe you enjoyed the way his thumb lingered over your collarbone—although what with the glove and the blanket, it prevented genuine contact. He squeezed your shoulder slightly and reassuringly. "Just... rest. Don't go out. I don't know much about this planet."
A mere "okay" was all you could manage before you watched him leave, the Child perking his ears at the sight of you and cooing, once, as if saying his goodbyes. You mustered a gentle smile before Din's backside disappeared behind the ramp that lifted up.
Realizing Froggy hadn't come down yet, likely still undergoing her own anxieties after everything that's happened, you climbed the ladder—lacking alertness, with a sloppy-feeling brain—and you immediately met with a concerned frog lady who held onto her canister tightly. She croaked, speaking her worries to you. And you nodded. The delay to arrive at Trask was unsettling her, and she wasn't sure she could wait too long. After all, the eggs only lasted a specific amount of time before they eventually expired, in a way, and were unable to produce offspring from them. They would die off. "I know. I told Mando we didn't have to do this but he... doesn't listen, unfortunately. It'll be quick, though, I promise. You can come down, too, it's perfectly safe."
Other than a few spiderwebs that still dangled across the hull of the ship and the occasional spider remains, there were pretty much no signs of spiders anymore. Not any live ones, at least. Gladly enough. As you both descended the ladder, the Frog Lady spoke again. It was cold. It definitely was. "Yeah, we're back in this kriffingmess again," you sighed frustratingly, uncovering yourself from your blanket and instead setting it over the canister. "I'm gonna go see if I can get Mando's stupid heater to work. Go get yourself something to eat while you can before we have to leave again."
You were by no means an expert on fixing heaters, but, hey, you were freezing your butt off over here and there were currently unborn offspring that could easily die if left in the cold for too long. While Mando did suggest to get some rest—and you had to admit, that did sound wonderful (especially with your intensifying headache)—you wouldn't be capable of sleeping in such extreme temperatures. So you grabbed a toolbox and decided to start repairs on the heater.
Very little success came afterwards.
After what felt like an eternity trying to get the kriffingthing to work properly, the heater eventually sputtered out, leaving you in an even worse situation. Unfortunately, though, there were no hot springs here to keep yourself warm... and even if there were, you weren't sure whether you would hop in, seeing as last time resulted in a complete and utter disaster. Still, you knew Din kept an extra, small-scaled portable heater that was used in the case of an emergency, and so you decided to go searching for that. Normally, he kept it in one of the several crates that littered the ship, so you started searching through them all. He didn't keep much in them, apparently. Just some additional weapons, tools, occasional blankets, random objects you don't even recognize, and inside a separate, tiny box, and your nosiness took over so you opened it, a—
A lightsaber.
Your lightsaber. Honestly, there wasn't a day that went by where you didn't think about this special weapon at least once. It contained a plethora of memories. A purposeful significance. A reminder of who you were in the past. Even though you denounced the title of Jedi, this lightsaber had been something very... treasured to you. Digits wrapping around the familiar hilt, feeling the Kyber crystal within it begin to heat up—practically vibrating upon recognizing your Force signature—you lifted it out. A heavy sigh escaped your lips. It was evident you had missed this weapon—and a part of you was tempted to reacquire it again—but after everything you did... you simply didn't deserve it any longer.
But it was okay. It wasn't like you were a Jedi anyway. If you weren't a Jedi, then why should you have a lightsaber?
It held remarkable sentiment, that was why. From your past. Cycles as a youngling. Years as a teenage Padawan. Your master. Your friends. Your attachments. Obi-Wan, he'd probably be so utterly irritated with you right now. For cycles, he'd warn you very specifically not lose your lightsaber—because it is practically your life-line—and yet, you had handed it off to a Mandalorian for months. One of your friends—Anakin—he probably would've joked about this... poke fun on the whole subject. You actually chuckled to yourself. Then Ahsoka would've defended you and tell him he, himself, lost his own lightsaber more frequently than anyone else. In fact, the three of you had kept a record of who had misplaced their weapon more often. Of course, Anakin had been first place with you in second and Ahsoka in third.
Reluctantly, you set the object back inside and closed the box.
Now you wondered why Din had kept it. For some reason, you expected him to throw it away or something... because if he didn't want you to stay, then why would he keep this? As a memory of you...? You didn't think so. That didn't make much sense.
You had kept a memory of him, though... His Mythosaur necklace was still kept deep in a pocket of your pants, untouched, but still there. Always. To remind yourself of them... Despite the anger constantly felt for Din. Sometimes you only wanted to remember the Child. His cute little giggles. Perky ears. The wisps of white hair on his head. Toothy smile. But sometimes you remembered Din. His gentle touch. His modulated voice. His lips flush against yours...
You sighed. Some things were a mystery, truly. But you set that aside, for now. Temporarily, until you can bring the subject up with Din.
Instead, you focused on finding the portable heater—which, finally, after some rummaging around, you did. The time passed yet you refused to rest. Over the course of a few long hours, you had stitched your shirt back to normal and—as much as you missed that comfortable borrowed shirt—threw your old shirt back on and discarded the other one. Forgot all about it (because you're not supposed to be liking it, remember?).
(Well. You had liked it).
Eventually, though, as Din was beginning to delay for much too long for your comfort, anxiety crept in. Even though you knew full well the Mandalorian was perfectly capable of handling himself, but... you couldn't help worrying. Worrying led to pacing around. Pacing around led to grabbing your armor, cloak, and slightly dented mask. It looked sort of weird but it would do for now. Perhaps you'd purchase another one in the future. As soon as you secured your blaster (and maybe borrowed a few charges from the weapons chamber, for extra precautions), the Frog Lady had squawked with curiosity.
Wrapping your cloak tighter around your frame, you stepped forward. "Listen, I'm heading out. Mando's taking a little too long. You can stay here but it's safer for you to come along. I don't know this planet and I won't be able to protect you if you stay."
Reluctantly, the Frog Lady complied and picked up her canister, strapping it to her back. As you unlocked the Crest and lowered the ramp, that sharp air struck you even through the multiple layers of armor and clothing you wore. Shivering, you silently hoped you didn't seem weak in any way. At least the mask would conceal the look of illness on your face and the hoarseness of your voice with its vocodor. Seeming vulnerable on an unknown planet was not worth risking.
And, well... you nearly had a heart attack right there when some sort of rabid creature launched towards you, snarling with its maw wide-open, exhibiting its sharp fangs. The faint sounds of Froggy screaming as she urgently retreated back to the Crest. A sudden spike of adrenaline prompted you to instinctively set your hands out, as if that would somehow stop whatever the hell this thing is—
A thin whistle reverberated through the landing bay. The animal halted itself. Closed its jaws. Sat down and stared.
"Sorry!" a voice came out of nowhere. Your gaze snapped towards a man who emerged from his office, fairly old and bald-headed as he limped forwards, a cane in one hand that aided him to walk. "I'm sorry, we didn't know there was anyone else in the ship so Janther here thought you had snuck in. I thought the Mandalorian came alone with the little green baby thing."
"It's... okay," you breathed out, a soft laugh escaping your mouth as you eyed the animal in front of you. No longer panic-struck, your brain was finally capable of comprehending that this was an Akk dog. Scarlet scales stretched across its entire body, plating his figure in armor that provided protection. His wide, dark eyes were bright in a way, your own reflection mirroring and shifting as he tilted his head with interest. The thing was... weird, but cute in its own strange little way. Janther probably wasn't even full-grown, as he only seemed to be about as tall as your knees. Akk dogs, as you recalled, happened to grow considerably taller as adults. Still, no matter the size, you wouldn't have messed with him... he could be rather dangerous if provoked.
"Can I... pet him?"
The man—whom you assumed to be the hangar manager—nodded with approval. So, you outstretched a hand and carefully set the palm on the animal's scaled forehead to exhibit that you were not hostile towards him. Janther had noticeably stiffened for a split second, although as soon as he familiarized himself with your scent and realized you truly meant no trouble, he relaxed. You chuckled gently, retracting your hands and calling Froggy, who... didn't want to come out, apparently. That was okay. Knowing the Akk dog was guarding the area, you were confident she was safe here.
"Make sure he surveys the place constantly," you told the man. "My friend, she's a bit scared to come out of the ship."
He bobbed his head once, a grin spreading on his lips. "Don't worry. She's safe here."
You briefly offered your gratitude before leaving soon afterwards, beginning your trek through the silent city. Faint fog encased the area, which was undesirable as it limited your vision... You could only hope you didn't somehow seem vulnerable or exposed in any way, and kept your back straight with a confident stride as you continued down the streets. Even through the heaviness that loomed throughout your entire body.
Tents and shops surrounded you on both sides. Small-scaled buildings and structures were situated behind them, various of them being homes while several others were designated for business purposes. People were rather scarce around here, a mere five, six people walking around, inspecting the items for sale. Some of them happened to capture your attention, although your sole motive here was to find Mando and the Child. Only, you had no clue towards which direction they took. Perhaps they weren't missing and were currently heading back. But you couldn't help the concern... They had grown on you—again. You had been an idiot to believe that you could join them without forming 'feelings' of sorts, but whatever. It's too late now, and now you're worried.
Your cracked visor scanned the zone for both threats and a Mandalorian. Still, there was not a silver of beskar in sight. This searching was becoming rather tedious already, despite only it being about fifteen minutes The constant throbbing of your head and aching muscles was fatiguing you, and all you wished to do was curl up into somewhere comfortable to rest and recover from this (maybe Din had been right but you would never admit it to him).
While the likelihood of danger around here didn't seem too possible, something was definitely a bit off. As if you were being followed— or something—but every time you peered over your shoulder, there was nothing. The same streets and the same markets and the same buildings that you had passed earlier. No signs of seeing someone twice. Whether the Force were warning you of something or not, you weren't sure. But the area was definitely becoming too isolated for your comfort now as night approached and the grand majority of the businesses were beginning to close down.
Exposed was what you felt. Out here in the middle of the streets with hardly anyone surrounding you could easily result in you being sniped. Perhaps that was what you were feeling. Someone was aiming a weapon towards you, though you couldn't see it—you didn't know. There were a plethora of reasons as to why the Force could be trying to alert you. You simply had no clue what your powers were attempting to alert you of... If it even were the Force. Maybe you were overthinking it and were simply feeling uncomfortable out here.
It shouldn't be ignored, though.
Your initial reaction was to enter a shop that seemed open. Underneath your mask, you greeted the woman inside who had welcomed you and stepped further inside the cozy structure. It was actually quite warm here, although not warm enough to soothe your chills. Still, it beats being outside. So you proceeded with pretending to browse around the store to not cause suspicion. Fingers grasped random objects, not exactly paying attention to what you were touching, but more carefully surveying whoever walked inside after yourself. Nobody that made you overly skeptical had entered, so your decision was to wait it out in here. This was your safe zone, so if nothing occurred, you would quickly head back to the ship hangar and hope that Din and the Child returned by then.
Moments passed, and as you walked around whilst cautiously observing the entrance through your peripheral vision, you happened to have bumped into someone. Your spine collided with something stiff, so naturally, your assumption had been that you found Din—or that he had found you himself. And you turned, with relief present on your mind, only for your eyes to meet with someone entirely unfamiliar to you. Cold eyes stared down at you. You remembered this man walking in, although he hadn't seemed distrustful. The sense that something was off became more prominent now—undoubtedly, the Force was warning you that it was him. Cold eyes stared down at you, followed by a strict grip on your upper arm.
"Where's the Mandalorian?" he demanded, voice deep and firm. He's a hunter, you realized. He's looking for the Child and must've seen you slip out of the same hangar the Razor Crest landed. Although what with the guard dog, he probably hadn't risked sneaking inside in case the Child had been left within it.
This always had to happen to you, of course.
You gulped, hoping he didn't feel you trembling—not due to fear, but obviously because you're ill. Then, "I think you've got the wrong person."
His rough digits strengthened around your bicep, unquestionably bruising the skin underneath. It was nearly cutting off your circulation, nearly earning a wince which you were reluctant to let escape. Instead of pulling and causing the pain to worsen, you jerked your knee into his stomach without warning, hearing a grunt from him and feeling relief from the pressure on your arm. Then, you snatched his wrist and yanked yourself free from his unfailing grip, and twisting it in a way that was... unpleasant. To say the least.
Honestly, you were not in the mood for a fight right now.
But an idea had sneaked into your mind.
Ignoring the exclaims that came from the hunter, you darted outside as rapidly as you could. The heavy footsteps pursuing you did not go unnoticed, and you knew full well you were being follower and possibly killed if you allowed him to catch you. Heart pumping loudly in your ears, you continued sprinting down the streets towards the direction you came from, mind cloudy and limbs lagging. Ear-splitting sounds of a blaster firing had worsened your headache, bullets flying straight past you. While your powers allowed a brief two, three seconds to react, some of the blue streaks had passed way too close for your comfort. This hunter was definitely relentless. Even with a broken wrist. Thankfully, though, he never successfully shot you. And even more thankfully, the hangar was in view up ahead. Fervently, you urged yourself forward without glancing back for a second, halting momentarily to open the door before rushing inside as quickly as possible.
The man was likely still chasing you—which brought your plan into play.
"Janther!" you shouted as loudly as you possibly could, rapidly ripping the mask off your face and lifting two fingers to your lips, blowing with as much force as you possibly could. A whistle—a horrible, spit-filled whistle—escaped your mouth, clearly not as easy as the man who owned the ship hangar made it to be. But it was a whistle nevertheless... or, something similar to one.
And just like that, a flash of red came hastening towards you—and as you pointed behind you, he immediately followed your finger and pounced forwards, snarling, barking, and undoubtedly attacking the hunter even though you couldn't see him as he hadn't entered yet. Finally, you skid to a stop. A moment passed with heavy breathing as the adrenaline in your bloodstream subsided slowly, that sickness and sluggish feel that accompanied it returning again. Lifting your eyes, your gaze fell on the Mandalorian who seemed to have been... threatening the hangar manager. But as soon as he caught sight of you, the man merely shrugged without saying another word in fear of the Mandalorian shooting him down right there. Instantly, Din had forgotten everything else and instead approached you, evidently not too pleased with the way you had scared him.
You wanted to chuckle. Had the worrying been mutual, perhaps?
Then, urgently, "Why did you leave?"
"Well, you were taking way too long—" something nuzzled into the side of your leg, causing you to flinch. Only, it happened to be Janther who had returned and was now asking for your attention. "Hiii!"you exclaimed, surprised by how quickly you had gained the animal's trust. You'd only officially met the Akk dog once, for five minutes and yet it had been as if he knew you for forever. Your hand stroked his spiked neck and he leaned into your touch, earning a soft laugh from you. "I'm getting an Akk dog one day."
Din, though, was definitely not over the previous conversation yet—"I told you I'd be back."
Heh, he must've had quite the scare...
"What, were you worried for me?" You smirked, petting Janther goodbye before turning to walk alongside Din towards the ship. Din didn't respond. And you couldn't blame him... now that you had thought about it, that actually brought back particular memories from your first trip to Sorgan. "Um... so why did you take so long?" you asked. Your eyes followed the Child, who had wriggled out of his satchel and was waddling a few feet in front of you. Quickly, you had snatched him up from the ground playfully, earning a few giggles from the infant. You had been worried for him and that was something you could admit freely.
"Could hardly find medical equipment here," he informed. Your trio entered the Razor Crest, its ramp shutting closed behind you and encasing you in the ordinary coldness that lingered throughout the entire ship. It was empty, which meant Froggy was probably upstairs, knowing the ship was soon to lift off. Your shaking started once more, and you found yourself hugging the Child closer to you. Then, "Go back to the cockpit. I have to find something."
You had sloppily climbed up the ladder with a single hand before setting the Child down so he could walk around liberally. By the time Din had returned, you had already removed your armor for comfort and draped a blanket around yourself whilst you lay in the passenger seat. Din had then handed over what he had been looking for downstairs—apparently, a mug. Which meant this remedy he had purchased was a liquid.
Soon afterwards, Din had occupied the pilot's seat and guided the Crest out of the planet's atmosphere. Once the ship was on course, Din set the half-functioning gunship on autopilot before standing to make his way towards you. Then, he uncovered the medical equipment—seemingly a miniature canister—which he had purchased earlier, reaching for the mug he'd given you and briefly pouring the liquid inside. A dark violet liquid spilled from the container, hardly filling the mug halfway before he returned the object to you. "This might make you drowsy."
Quickly, you tested it out. Inhaled a bit of its scent—which, actually, didn't smell bad at all. On the contrary, its aroma was surprisingly sweet and filled the air of the cockpit with its sugary scent. The flavor, though, was... something else. Something else entirely. You hadn't hesitated to gulp down the entire sustenance down your throat but as soon as it came into contact with your tongue, you nearly vomited then and there. Repugnant. Terribly repugnant. A gag escaped your throat. If it weren't for the fluids swiftly slipping down your esophagus, you would have spit the entire remedy out. Brusquely, you shoved the mug back into Din's hands. "Ugh, that's... that's nasty— what was in that thing?"
Silently, he shrugged and set the items away. "I don't know."
"So I can ask you if it's poison, and you wouldn't be able to—" a cough. "—to answer me, honestly?"
"I'm... kidding," he joked. Well, it wasn't really a joke. It was more of a nonchalant remark, with his distorted voice remaining neutral and serious as per usual. "Would I have bought it if I wasn't sure?"
You sniffled, once, lowering your eyes, leaning your head back on the chair and attempting to rid of the persistent nauseating taste on your tongue. Then, your gaze lifted to meet with the Mandalorian's lingering visor—and once again you imagined those... gentle dark eyes. But the thought was shaken away from your mind.
For a second, he... stayed and watched you. Quite possibly to double-check that the medication wouldn't cause some unexpected reaction to you. Then, "Were you hurt?"
You hugged yourself with your arms, chills beginning to overwhelm you again."No, I'm okay... Some hunters were trying to f-find you and the kid."
Din made a sound, evidently concerned that hunters were locating your group so easily. He had spoken again afterwards, but... the treatment's effects were already affecting you, promptly inducing a heavy drowsiness that lulled your eyes. Already exhausted from the rather exciting day out, you were bound to feel the reaction to the remedy immediately. Receiving no response from you, Din removed his glove and raised a calloused hand to your forehead. His palm, careful against your heated skin, persisted for a moment. Until you gripped his wrist—and he swore for a second, he believed you were pushing him away. Actually, the contrary... your cold digits pulled his hand down to hold the side of your face, and— and... Din stiffened, unsure as to whether he should... stay, and cradle your face as you wanted him to... He wasn't even sure if you wanted this, or if your lethargy was causing you to do and say things you didn't truly mean...
But then he... swiped his thumb against your cheekbone, several times, watching your eyes flutter closed, your head inclining into the pleasant warmth of his palm, a satisfied hum—almost a purr—escaping your nose, your grasp on his arm slowly softening, and... he couldn't help but smile. An authentic grin curled his lips underneath the helmet, chest swelling with warmth, tilting his head fondly as he peered down at you, and suddenly he was reminded of why he wanted you to remove his helmet back on th—
"You're so... warm, Din..."
—then replaced by guilt.
Carefully, he drew his hand away.
Not because he didn't want this (there was nothing he craved for more than your attention). It was just that... you hadn't called him by his genuine name in forever. It wasn't that in itself, but the fact that you only ever called him that when you had wholeheartedly trusted him in the past was what caused this blame to flood him. It was hisfault you had stopped trusting him, stopped calling him by that name, stopped enjoying yourself as you used to, and yet now in your illness and drowsiness... you had called him that. So, naturally, his grin dropped.
Din thought you had fallen asleep. But as soon as the warmth left your face, you stirred, an unclear expression of what he thought was confusion appearing on your features, eyes staring up at him, as if... as if asking him to keep you warm, or something— or maybe it was just him assuming things, he didn't know. With the sleepy look in your eyes, maybe you were simply half-asleep and... and, he sighed. He couldn't leave you like this...
His hand raised to the armor plating his chest, fumbling to remove the beskar. Visor shifting from you to the Frog Lady in her seat, embracing the canister on her lap, a sound escaping her mouth as her head tilted—seemingly not expecting the softened interactions between you two, especially after all the arguing and yelling between each other. He didn't blame her, though. Not at all. He hadn't expected any of this either but when he saw your shivering body, debilitated condition, heavy eyes gaping up at him and he just... he couldn't resist, he couldn't fight back that warmth that stirred within him and urged him to care for you. It was an all-too-familiar feeling. He'd felt something similar to this when he had offered his cape to you on Arvala-7, but now it's more... prominent.
"Come here..." he voiced quietly. Hesitantly wrapping an arm under your neck, he then set another around your legs. When you didn't move—didn't push him away (you probably should've, he thought)—he lifted you, pulled him close to himself and returned to his seat, slightly tilting the seat back so you could lay comfortably on his chest. Immediately, he felt you curl into him, a satisfied sigh escaping your lips as he tucked you underneath his chin, and he found himself... smiling again. Even through the guilt that burdened him, he smiled. Yet he convinced himself he was only doing this for you. To keep you warm and alive and comfortable... Not because he liked this. Not because he missed you... so much. Too much.
You were content in his warmth. It engulfed you and, even through your drowsiness, you couldn't help but wish to stay here forever. In his arms... he was comfortable. Why didn't you ever ask him to do this in the past? The exhaustion was beginning to take over again, more aggressively with each passing second. His heart rate was high, you noticed, intently listening to the constant thumping of his heartbeat underneath your ear. But that was okay, because so was yours. Part of the reason why you couldn't find yourself sleeping again was because of your rapidly beating heart. But eventually the rhythmic thumping of his heart and his quiet breathing lulled you back into sleep...
Normally, Din would find himself going to sleep as well. But his mind was heavy. Occupied by a million thoughts rampaging through his head. Because after everything he's done... he shouldn't be liking this. Keeping you safe in his arms, warm against his chest—you shouldn't even be allowing this, either, yet... you did. Just like you'd let him observe you, fresh out of the shower wearing nothing other than a thin fabric that hardly concealed your skin; just like you let him grip your waist back in the hot springs, pull you in close, and now you were letting him hold you. Perhaps, now, it were simply because you were drowsy. Sick. You weren't thinking straight. Maybe you'd regret it when you awoke. Which didn't make him feel any better because now he felt like he was sort of taking advantage of you, in a way, but... it was necessary. That was what he repeated to himself, over and over in his head, that he needed to keep you warm or else you could easily freeze to death, especially with the fever. It was necessary.
When Din felt something dig into the skin of his leg, he nearly flinched—immediately thinking it was some kriffing spider that somehow survived in here—but then he realized it was only the Child. He wanted to join in. He was cold, too. And so he, painfully, climbed up his leg, digging his claws into Din's skin— he almost grunted but he didn't want to stir you awake anymore. Eventually, the infant managed to clamber up, and his ears perked up as he stared into his guardian's visor. When nothing was said or done, he climbed over your body, hopping over—
Din whispered, firmly, "Careful."
The Child managed to sneak over you without causing you go wake. His first response was to slink underneath your arm before curling into your chest, finding comfort there, and eventually falling asleep as well. Which was a bit unusual, because he normally never fell asleep so rapidly. But maybe he was tired. Earlier, as he had searched for medical equipment, Din had double and triple-checked that there was no danger around and allowed the infant to stretch his legs, walk alongside him through the empty streets of the city.
Din glanced back down at you. He couldn't exactly see your face because you were snug underneath his chin, but he was completely certain you were asleep...
Scared. That was why he told you to leave. He had been scared.
Anxious, worried, apprehensive, because you nearly didn't come back from that fight. And it had been his own fault. His fault because you wanted to save him—and you probably shouldn't have. You should've left him for dead. If he had been blasted then and there, he would've preferred that over watching your expression drop when he suggested you to leave the Razor Crest.
So what would have happened if you had stayed with him? If Din hadn't mentioned anything? You would've suffered again. Because of him, you would be in danger and he simply couldn't stand the fact that as long as you were with him, something would occur to you. When had your former title been revealed to the galaxy? Never. Not until you joined the Mandalorian. When had you quite literally died and revived in your life? Probably never. At least, you hadn't alluded to that ever. It hadn't happened until, again, you joined him. Honestly, he hadn't expected you to actually leave. He knew you. He knew you would refuse the notion, and, really... he wouldn't have protested against you. Din would not have tried whatsoever. It was not a lie that he wanted you to stay. What he stated the previous day had been the complete truth. Solely thinking of the idea that you could've stayed with him had... frustrated him, incredibly.
Clearly, he shouldn't have done that. Clearly, he had messed up. Clearly, he had been an idiot.
Yes, you would have denied the idea—that was, if you were okay. Which you most definitely were not. Because you had been resuscitated hours earlier, wounded, with snapped ribs—you didn't want any further trouble. There was no more energy to argue with him. There was no desire to fight him anymore... and you had made it clear that day. Yet he had been stupid. Careless. Selfish. He didn't put any of that under consideration and instead gave in to his own anxieties, without caring about what you believed. Without keeping in mind that he had torn you away from something you had grown so attached to. To himself, to the kid, to the Crest—this had been your home. He couldn't bring himself to explain to you the reason behind all of that. No. Because then he'd be asking for you to reason with him. To excuse his past actions and mistakes. That's what hurt the most.
He didn't deserve your forgiveness.
note:
well FINALLY
was the wait worth it...? hopefully...?
i know i know it's been like a month or so but lol life happened. on top of that, this is a particularly long chapter that took forever to edit. i rewrote specific scenes over and over again because i just needed this one to be perfect!!! also considering the length, there's probably a few mistakes here and there so I'M SORRY. i tried my best with editing and i'm 99% sure that i got all errors out but sometimes i come back in the future and reread and see a whole bunch of mistakes (its so annoying)
anyway what did you guys think about this chapter? i'd love to hear your thoughts about it!!
i loved writing this chapter because i got to hint at cansad'ika's past a little bit more, but i promise we will be diving into that a whole lot more!! especially when she finally gets to reunite with an old friend she doesn't even realize is still alive 👀 she really has no clue what's happened to the people she knew while she was a padawan, since she left the order before order 66 happened. i am SO excited to write for episode 13!!
also, are you still mad at din? i hope not. bby was just a lil confused 🥺
