#natashas365daysofwriting

[natashas365daysofwriting-blog]

still

Today it snowed For the first time all year And I couldn’t help but realize That I have no one to hold

And there you are still Loving me from afar I wish this heart Wasn’t so afraid  Wasn’t so hard to please I wish this heart loved you

It would be so nice To fit into those arms It would be so warm So safe I don’t know Or think that I want danger But for some reason I cannot make myself want you

 But you are there still Holding onto this hope With dear life There you are still  Wishing that one day My heart will change its mind Or our pieces will fall  Into place Waiting for that drunk text That says “I love you too” Wishing, waiting, hope There you are Still

[natashas365daysofwriting-blog]

I forgot to be sad today About the fact That it is your birthday And you Are sitting there alone Still in decay Still shocked by the fact That you’re dying without me

I will write about you Until my last breath You deserve at least that

Seeing as I forgot to love you  In real life While I could hold you in my hands Seeing as I forgot What daughter and mother means Seeing as I am already regretting it all I’m sorry

[natashas365daysofwriting-blog]

I am here Constantly afraid to love you I can see The want in your eyes I can feel you undressing me I can see myself Doing the same But then he Not two feet away Grapples at my crotch Making it yearn In ways it didn't realise were human He makes me feel superhuman I'm sorry I'm sorry With you I am finally On the other side of love

[natashas365daysofwriting-blog]

serena

I am hoping now That you won’t get back Before these words Can metamorphose Inti how much I love you

I hope in this silence You hear the screams That my heart is banging out I hope the glass breaking bleeds And makes your face In the art that it is

Now back from the cold I faced Because being with you For one more moment was worth it I sit here Still tipsy from the drunk we shared Loving every inch Of your imperfect Loving every inch Of your perfect

You told me That you liked it when I swore So I will fucking Say As much shit As you fucking want right now You are my motherfucking smoke I can cough you out And want more I am as comfortable in you As I am my own skin On my good days

You  Are the friend That poets write about On their days off You’re the comfort we forget to have On our days off You’re the spaces between hands held You’re the perfect ending To a poem

[natashas365daysofwriting-blog]

red roses

I started to plan Your funeral today Red roses I feel like that’s what you’d want

We’d sit around And mourn how you broke Each and every one of us A little bit We’d mourn how We broke you back

[natashas365daysofwriting-blog]

I miss you The most honest words I could breathe But you are no longer Within breathing distance from me You’re gone And somehow I don’t think I can get you back You were imperfect But for a while I thought you could do no wrong I miss you anyway

Come back

[natashas365daysofwriting-blog]

My eyes cannot close There is too much daylight here I can't even squint

[natashas365daysofwriting-blog]

beer

When I think of you I think of melted chocolate And bubbles Warm water  And ice cubes crunching between my teeth I think of looking out at winter At falling snow Cuddling myself in this empty bed Tea and wine and hot chocolate and beer

I’ve made myself a little home In your smirk In your hands And sharpened tongue I’ve become comfortable  Caressing you from afar

Someday soon  You’ll be out of my imagination And into my what ifs What a scary thought that is Like standing on a mountain In a snowstorm screaming I am too frozen And the wind overpowers my voice When I think of you I think of snow angels And soft lips and hair I think of yelling out whatever comes to mind And scratching my car on edges I think of loving I think of fear When I think of you I think of beer