Someone tell BYU to step their college tour game up, I don't think dorms are supposed look that crummy..

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Someone tell BYU to step their college tour game up, I don't think dorms are supposed look that crummy..
I have all of this leftover Halloween candy and I have no idea what to do with it. Do you think I'll get in trouble if I stand outside my house and toss it at people driving or walking by?
I burnt my hand and now I can't play. Fantastic.
Casual reminder--if I call you after midnight, it means I'm drunk and you don't have to answer.
If I tell you “I’m on my way”, it’s almost 100% possible that I’m still laying in bed. Probably naked.
It's Friday night, don't let me down people, what's going on?
I've got a night off and a new push up bra.
The pro to working in a coffee shop: Money. The con: Dealing with annoying, demanding teenagers who just won't shut up.