#nc.how

[myelocin]

atsumu, IN love

miya atsumu  falls in love unapologetically. 

for him, it’s always just been you. the sight, smell, taste, and feel of just you. so when he knows there truly is nothing more to describe this feeling with other than love, he dives and spreads his limbs even though he isn’t certain he can swim. love, at six thirty; your eyes glowing against the afternoon sun leaking gold into the car, and his hands at ten and two on the steering wheel. atsumu tells you that he’s in love with you for the first time, in a very out of the blue scenario. he doesn’t say it with confidence, because he can sense that  you love him back, but he tells you point blank just for the sake of letting you know.

he knows he’s diving, eyes trained towards the rush of the water and the deep, deep, deep blue waters below, but he isn’t scared.

(you blink at him, and he’s blinded by the sight of you amplified by the gold of the sun. “you love me?” you asked, voice teasing, and atsumu can only thank his lucky stars that the light is red because he can’t take his goddamn eyes off of you in the moment.)

“hell yeah i do,” he laughs, eyes trained on the rush of the water below, limbs still spread, because the fear of drowning is pushed to the very back of his head.

(really, he sees you smile, so he knows he’ll swim in the waters just fine.)

[myelocin]

sakusa and falling out of love

first angst req ilu <3

sakusa kiyoomi falls out of love and he allows it to break him in the silence.

he knows he’s gone over what love is and isn’t in his head at least a hundred times, but being in the moment here with you, divorce papers in the middle of the table and only two lines left to sign still breaks him. he looks at you as he grips the pen, tight in his hand but relaxed in your eyes. 

“tell me to not sign the fucking paper,” he yells at you in his head, but when ink meets paper and he feels the pen glide across white in strokes familiar only to him, his grip tightens because he sees you turn away. 

he stares; blinks once, then twice more before he places the pen in front of you.

one more line.

this isn’t love, he thinks. 

this hurts, you think, but you know falling further out of love will hurt more so you grab the pen and  grip it tight on your hand.

sakusa blinks, then holds his breath. you look relaxed for a woman about to sign her marriage away.

ink meets paper and the scratches of a pen is the only sound that breaks the silence. you hold your breath, on the verge of tears, and when you finish, you toss the pen to his side and turn to face the wall to your right. 

“this it?” you ask, willing your voice to remain steady.

sakusa remains silent, save for his sigh. you can’t tell if whether it’s because he’s hurt, or if he’s relieved. 

(he’s broken.)

[myelocin]

akaashi falling out of love 🥺

akaashi keiji realizes he’s fallen out of love when it’s five in the morning and he’s lying across you in bed with a normal feeling in his chest.

you scrunch your nose at an itch, and he blinks. once, at the thought of ‘oh, she’s done this before and it used to mean the world to me.’ then twice, when he finally realizes that this time, he just kind of feels nothing. so he folds one arm under his head as he continues to stare at you; at the plains of your skin his lips know the feeling of, and at the contours of your profile that he used to be able to pick of from a crowd in just a second.

he blinks for the third time; by now he usually would feel an itch from his hand to touch your face, but now he just doesn’t.

five seventeen am hits and the light from the world begins to trickle into the room. first, pooling around the carpet before it crawls up the wall behind you, ricocheting to the opposite end of the room as the softened light then spills across your face.

you’re still beautiful, he thinks, but in his chest akaashi can pick out the fact that there is an absence of the fondness he knew only came from love.

you open your eyes around five nineteen, and you stare at him softly, remaining silent. he’s quick to notice that you don’t say good morning this time, and that the smile you wear is a little worse for wear, but he realizes he doesn’t really mind.

the part within him that love still controls is screaming that this isn’t it. falling out of love shouldn’t be it.

“hey,” you say, with a smile that tells him you know what he’s about to say.

“i’m not in love anymore,” he knows are the words you understood from the absence of his fingers against your skin, but he only blinks softly and tells you, “hey,” right back.

not right now, akaashi thinks. i can’t break a heart right now.

[myelocin]

I love Ushijima but he can't take selfies well so be deserves to suffer; how does he fall out of love

SDFJKHDFSJK WHY U GOTTA ATTACK HIS SELFIE GAME LIKE THAT 

ushijima wakatoshi falls out of love as quick as he fell in love. 

he thinks it’s quite handy, if anything. he knows that if he falls out of love a lot slower than how he fell in, he’d be in trouble.

or atleast, he thinks that, until you. because truth be told it was you who came in, looking like a storm but leaving budding flowers in your wake instead of the chaos he thought came with disaster. he thinks that maybe it was your words that struck him, but he knows it’s just you in entirety that was dealt the final blow of him realizing that he’s in this way deeper than he anticipated. 

love was terrifying, ushijima thinks, because when he fell out of love, he never expected it to sting like this. 

when you told him goodbye, your arm raised and a ring absent on the finger where he placed a gold band only a few years ago, his face showed nothing despite the storm in his head.

“don’t do this to me,” he remembers you telling him in the car on the way to the airport. “wakatoshi just remember you’re the one who said goodbye first.”

so with that, he keeps his silence as he watches you leave. when you turn the corner, and out of his sight, he waits for a while. then he breathes; in and out, steady like he always did before the first serve of the game. 

he thinks of you, and his heart flutters.

then he remembers that he told you he fell out of love, and he holds his breath. ushijima blinks once at the thought that the chances of seeing you turn the corner and walk towards him again would probably next to zero.

at the thrum of his heart when he slowly spells out your name in his head, he sighs. he’s still in love, and it looks like falling out would be a lot harder than he anticipated. 

[myelocin]

im scared but ok hurt me how does hajime fall out of love ( ；∀；)

iwaizumi hajime falls out of love because of pride.

he knows that the downfall began the second he raised his voice and drowned out the sounds of your voice. the sounds of reason, he later chastises himself. 

he thinks that for a while, for a long while, love will still stay. because love was you.  and everything that was you had always been hajime’s truth. it regarding love, life, its highs and lows, and all the things in the inbetween, no matter what shade of gray it was covered in. 

anger, he thinks has always been a bitter look on anyone, but on him, it looked almost alien. he stares at the mirror, and blinks once. then his eyes trail to the spot behind him, towards the spot on the wall where he knows the photo of the two of you used to hang and blinks again. 

there’s bits of shattered glass on the ground that he knows he should have picked up first before he opened his mouth, but something just tipped over before he could get the chance to allow reason to guide him. perhaps it was the weight of reality, his job, or of the growing distance the two of you had been tiptoeing around, but it just snapped.

“i don’t even love you anymore,” he said, and he flinches at his reflection staring back at him in apathy in the mirror.

“dumb fuck,” hajime whispers, and he knows he should pick up the phone and call you by now, but he knows you like he knows himself.

he knows at best you’ll pick up the phone and tell him fuck you, and hajime thinks he can’t handle the weight of your honesty and heart break right now.

the ring you left on the table gleams in the light and hajime swallows, tilting his head back and running his hands over his face  once again.

“fuck,” he says.

the worst part is even though he knows this is an end, the fact that eventually a day will come in the midst of your absence where he’ll fall out of love, and even though the thought is just reality--he just can’t find it in him to accept it just yet.

“fuck.”

[myelocin]

Can you please do Oikawa and how they fall in love?

oikawa tooru falls in love when he’s finally a few thousand feet up in the air and the view of your hometown is growing smaller and smaller against his airplane window. 

when it’s finally just him, a growing ocean between the two of you, and his phone with a few clouds out the window for company, that’s when he takes the time to lean back on his seat and close his eyes at the thought of you. just one more memory, is what he tells himself, as another begins to replay beneath his eyelids. then just one more turns into two, before three, until he ultimately just realizes that he’s spiraling down the thoughts he has that stars you. 

oikawa’s eyes snap open at the realization that he’s smiling the brightest at every memory that he shares with you.

he smiles, because he realizes he’s a little ways past fucked.

“god damn it, i love her,” he laughs, voice just barely above a whisper. he looks at the window to his right, your hometown just a speck in the distance, and then towards the photo of you and him side by side, smiling as if you’re in love.

oikawa smiles a little wider; for now, all he knows is that the statement holds half a truth. he is in love. on the other hand, he supposes he’ll just have to wait until he lands to call you so he could ask for your answer from your end. 

[myelocin]

I'm feeljng giddy thinking about Ushijima falling in love. Give it a shot, dear:) -his almost

ushjima wakatoshi falls in love, and he’s quick to be aware, but ultimately chooses to keep his silence at the start. 

he never thought love could look like this, if he were to be honest. he knew love was something that started with a hello, before it progressed to a how are you then a kiss, before ultimately ending with a band on your left hand’s fourth finger and some pictures along the mantle. 

he was a stranger to anything and everything love. 

but he supposes that at the start of everything, you can hold no identity other than just being a stranger. so he thinks with those thoughts, cheeks flushed pink in the mornings he jogs with you, and olive eyes fluttering back and forth towards the sidewalk infront and at the sight of you smiling to his left. 

(tendou often points out that he’s been smiling a lot, and you must be the reason why, but he waves him off with a nod to his head and his thoughts always silent in his mind.)

this morning he supposes that tendou may have some truth in his words. 

you say his name like always, but there’s just something about this morning where he feels as if he hears a chorus of a melody instead of just your voice. 

he shakes his head, wiping his face, then takes a swig from his bottle before he turns to look at you, blinking. 

“yes?”

“wanna run again tomorrow?” he hears, and ushijima takes a couple of deep breaths to calm his racing heart. this is too cliche, he thinks. but maybe love was supposed to be like that.

is this love?

“yes,” he says out loud, facing you.

you nod with a smile before you turn and jog in the opposite direction.

ushijima stands in place, head tilted because he realizes that he was saying yes to the question in his head, not the one coming from you.

[myelocin]

How about Sakusa? -his dearest wife

sakusa kiyoomi falls in love fast, but he gives himself time before he allows himself to fully realize it. because he knows that when the full force of love will hit him, it will hit him with a force he isn’t sure he can take just yet.

it starts in the little things: your hand lingering on his shoulder, his eyes staring into you a bit longer, gaze getting bolder by the second. his heart, another factor that plays into his awakening as well, it beating just loud enough the moment you lean in closer to greet him in the mornings, that sakusa catches himself, terrified at the possibility that you just might hear it over the silence.

but you don’t, he concludes, because you only ever smile after your good morning.

so when the time comes where he finally allows himself to feel the full force that comes with the rush of love, he takes a seat in front of you. still, and frankly a little scared of what’s to come, then holds his breath as you take the seat across him.

“hi,” you say, before you lean forward, chin on the palms of your hands after you tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “kinda surprised you asked me out on a date.”

then before he could scramble a couple words to string together, you laugh. 

“i’m glad you did though,” you say, and sakusa feels his own smile stretch across his face because when he exhales, he realizes that he’s breathing easy.

he supposes that love isn’t a crashing kind of epiphany sometimes. because it can be just this.

you, seated across him, a slice of chocolate cake in front of you while a mug of something hot sits in front of him, your eyes sparkling kind, and the feeling that settles in his chest warm.

“hey,” he says, and when you smile, sakusa knows that even if he tried to tell himself he wasn’t in love, your smile would be quick to catch him by the neck either way.