( @nctamused; twelve )
Donna swore she was going out of her mind. That had to be the only explanation. She sat on the information for days, stewing in her own head while convincing herself that she was losing her grip on reality. Secretly, she was absolutely terrified that this was it. She had had her time on TARDIS, with him. After all, she was supposed to spend the rest of her days in Chiswick, never remembering her time among the stars. The Doctor had other plans but she wondered if his fix was only temporary. She was scared of the idea of leaving him, especially now when she loved him as she did.
So she didn’t tell him at first.
Then she couldn’t take it anymore. Her emotions were all over the place. She could be tucked away in her a corner, her nose in a book and then all of the sudden she was filled with love. She knew emotions could be a fickle thing but she was convinced that this was not her love, but something else. Something different. It would come and go, pulsing until she would push off whatever she was doing in search of a distraction (because it felt like something else was inside of her, pushing at her edges and threatening to overtake her).
Donna found the Doctor, and her nerves flared. She knew he could sense things and he probably felt that. But she had kept the rest shielded from him, not wanting him to worry --- a foolish thing to do because in the end, she needed him to help her figure it out.
She moved to sit next to him. “Doctor,” she began quietly and then looked at him, feeling her (and yes, she knew they were hers) emotion swell like they did whenever she was near him. Still, in the background, it felt like there was something else, something foreign, trying to worm its way into this moment. She took a deep breath, ready to confess. “I think there is something wrong with me.” She reached for his hand and finally removed the roadblock that she had put in place. She was sure he could feel it too --- the strangeness going on inside of her.














