I need the fandom to help me find a post cause I'm going crazy looking for this. It was something about "a day in the life of england". It was written like a diary entry I think and it was arthur going through his day hooking up with various nations. I remember there was a him getting it on in an elevator I think with netherlands, and there was him hooking up with AusHun and I think he was smoking a cigar with Hungary afterwards and after prussia came in and fell into the bed to sleep they all did and he mentioned how nice that was?
pls send help. I thought the post was by iship2muchshit/iship3muchshit but can't find it on her blogs
netherlands didnt play well and we mightve lost either way but that penalty was the worst call ive ever seen in football and ive been passionately watching, following and playing this sport almost my entire life
var is ruining football and uefa allowing a ref that has matchfixed before is absolutely diabolical
all around this is one of the messiest worlds/euros ever
Hetalia Poly Ship Week 2022: Day 5-6-7-8: Beach-Murder-Road Trip-Whatever I want :)))
@heta-polyweek2022
Ship: (Denmark X England X Germany X Netherlands)
but mixed up, they’re all just sleeping with each other who cares?
Did I combine all the last prompts? Yes. Yes, I did. Anyway I started this, but I feel it’s so good I want to give it a couple of chapters more! so uhhhh... Yeah I’m already posting the beginning here, and the rest will follow on AO3 somewhere in the next few days!
Summary: England, Denmark, Germany and Netherlands are on a teambuilding “holiday” from the north of Europe to the beautiful beaches of southern Europe
Vincent is Netherlands
Matthias is Denmark
Arthur is England
Ludwig is Germany but you knew that already…
Implied other ships
Mature, because I decided Denmark has absolutely no filter. Might change it to explicit later.
Word Count: 3490 (But is not yet finished... so...)
Title: “Who thought Teambuilding was a good idea?” “Germany.”
Every couple of months some of the countries in Europe are asked to go on team building together to strengthen the ties between nations that sometimes do not get the chance to do so.
It was Germany who decided to start such activities some decades ago, and every time again, when anything goes wrong, it is him that is blamed.
Usually he just sighs, and accepts his fate, though every time he sees those countries hanging out together outside of work without having a reason to, he counts it as a win! This truly motivates him to keep the project going.
In this way, a kind of lottery system was set up, with a nice innocent hand pairing up the nations that would be forced to spend a couple of days together at a place that will also be randomly selected from another randomised lottery.
Matthias had felt excited when he saw he was in the group with the Netherlands, England and Germany, as there was no way this could end up being boring, despite some of the countries often being considered as such.
He actually whooped when he saw their team building destination was on one of the southern beaches in Spain.
The Netherlands and England both cursed, glaring at the Spanish brunette across the room as if blaming him, before glancing at each other seeing that they were not alone in feeling annoyed and taking some comfort in that.
Another team of four countries consisted of Poland, Austria, Spain and Sweden and their team building took place somewhere in a farm town in Latvia.
Upon seeing this, the Netherlands and England quickly shut up, considering themselves the lucky ones.
A bit of discussion on how they were going to organise and two weeks later they were set to leave.
Denmark travelled from Copenhagen to Hamburg by train, where he met up with Germany. The Dane and the German had agreed to leave early the morning after. They spent the night watching slapstick comedy, which surprisingly they both thought was quite terrible. Until at around midnight when Germany told him he better sleep so they are well rested for the day that would follow.
That morning Denmark and Germany took one of the three cars the German possessed to drive and pick up the other two nations.
They used his car because the Netherlands did not possess a car, leeching of his siblings and other countries in order to get to places if he could not get there by bike.
Denmark’s car was a Saab, dating from the mid-90s, which Germany argues should have gone to the scrapyard a decade ago. If you made a comment about it being a Swedish brand, the Dane would huff and tend to get upset, so Netherlands was asked to stop doing so.
England did have a lot of nice cars as well, some of them antiques, however none of the countries were willing to suffer through the hassle of having a steering wheel on the right side of the car, but still drive on the right side of the road. It was just asking for an accident to happen.
So, in the end, they had all concluded that Germany’s car, a nice Mercedes-Benz, was the coolest looking car of the four of them.
Although Germany insisted it was not the appearance but the engine that was important.
The other’s had just rolled their eyes and shrugged, saying his car also had the best engine anyway so it did not matter.
England had tried to argue, but Denmark and the Netherlands had quickly told him to shut up.
From Hamburg, they went to Rotterdam to pick up the Netherlands.
On the way there Denmark and Germany spent the whole trip trying to find a music genre they both enjoyed.
They settled on something Denmark could sing along to and didn’t totally grate on Germany’s nerves.
Arriving in Rotterdam they lost some time convincing the Dutch man that, no, he couldn't bring his bike and that they would rent some there. The matter was settled when Germany promised to pay for said bike.
From there they went on their way to Calais, which was where England was waiting after having taken the Eurostar.
Apparently, the short time was enough for two old rivals to still meet up with each other, as the three found England and France drinking a coffee in a little French bistro.
Surprisingly both France and England were not at each other's throats, although they did seem to be throwing jabs and insults.
“It’s their love language,” Denmark had joked to the Netherlands, who snorted amused.
Germany rolled his eyes, but the upturn of his mouth betrayed his own feelings on the matter. Shaking himself out of it, as they had a schedule to uphold. He pressed the horn, making the two nations jump in their seats to everyone in the car’s amusement.
France saw them all together and dramatically sobbed, "How can it be that you are allowed to go on holidays with all the pretty colleagues, while I have to stay home and work?"
Germany sighed, "Francis, you went to Croatia with Belgium, Hungary and Czechia two months ago for team building!"
"And we had just such a delightful time," the Frenchman grinned and winked, making everyone including the Netherlands a bit flustered.
Although…
"If you even put a finger on my sister, you French bastard, we'll have our team building at the hospital."
England snorted, feeling a strong kinship with the Dutchman he hadn't felt in a while.
"SEE!" France shouted, "I clearly need team building with this sauvage."
Germany rolled his eyes, helping the Englishman put his luggage in the back of the car.
England briefly tried to bribe the Netherlands for the front seat, but decided against it when the Dutchman stated his price to be 50 euros.
Germany told him they could switch at the next stop when he had to take a break from driving.
Before he got back into the car, the German got a kiss on the cheek from France, making him turn scarlet.
“Have a safe trip, mon cher!”
Unable to look away upon seeing that, England accidentally hit his head against the side of the car, making those sitting on the inside laugh at his misery.
The Frenchman tutted and stepped closer to him, kissing him on the head with a “you don’t have to hurt yourself due to jealousy, you know? You could have just asked for a kiss if you wanted one!”
England, just grumbled as he finally got into the car, cheeks bright red but an observant person would have noticed the satisfied little smile on his face.
They waved goodbye to the Frenchman, who had pulled out a handkerchief and was waving at them as if they were off to war.
When he was out of sight, there was a peaceful silence ruined by Denmark saying: “You two are such incredible simps for France, it’s kinda funny.”
Netherlands snorted, nodding in agreement.
“Shut up,” England said at the same time as Germany said, “No comment.”
Somehow making the other two blondes crack up some more.
With that the four of them were on their way to the south of Spain.
-
They spent a lot of time discussing what the teambuilding would likely be like.
None of the people on the trip were allowed to work on organising the trip, so even Germany had no clue.
They just had a simple A4 paper with the information about the hotel they would be staying at on the road and once arrived.
“I’ve already tried to get information from France, but he’s being tight lipped about it.” England sighed.
“Should have sucked him off,” Denmark commented, “or sucked him of better,” he commented as an afterthought when the other was still too caught off guard to respond.
“Can you not?” England frowned, bright red.
The Netherlands laughed, shaking his head. “Anyway, my sister didn’t let anything slip either. She just said she made sure it was the best team building ever organised, and that we would know things about each other we would never tell another soul.”
Germany smiled, “confident, isn’t she?”
Netherlands returned the smile, “if it’s one thing I trust her with, it is how to make my life needlessly complicated. Siblings, what do you want?”
“At least she does it for your own good, or what she considers to be your own good, my brothers just tend to be assholes.” England crossed his arms.
“I like your brothers just fine! I think it’s because you’re an ass to them.” Denmark said, while the other two countries grimaced at his honesty.
England glared at him, “I don’t need to take lessons on how to treat my siblings from you.”
“Touché” Denmark laughed.
Germany sighed; glad the situation was defused.
-
At some point they did have to stop so Germany could drink a coffee and the Netherlands could comfortably smoke his vape. They had asked him to stop after Germany almost crashed into a car in front of him due to the reduced visibility.
Nations should always avoid trying to get into life threatening situations that would completely rip a human body to shreds. It was always hard to explain to humans how they were somehow still alive after there was nothing left of the car.
So, it is best to avoid getting in such a situation to begin with by taking well scheduled breaks as they were doing now.
In any case, the Netherlands and Denmark had gone to find a suitable tree outside to relieve themselves.
Despite there being functional toilets inside, albeit for a small fee.
“I don’t want to pay for what should be a human right.” The Netherlands had simply said.
“Me neither.” Denmark had agreed,
Germany had rolled his eyes, saying something about dignity, which the two other nations, quite a number of centuries older, clearly didn’t give a fuck about any longer.
They came back to the inside of the shop, surprised by England loudly arguing with a gas station worker in French due to the people there being absolutely incapable of speaking even one word in another language and him feeling like he was being scammed.
All he wanted was a cup of tea and well… cup of tea, for once he would agree with America that this resembled hot leaf water. What do you want if the entire countries preferred flattened raisin juice?
What surprised the other countries wasn’t the fact that he spoke French, Ludwig had actually been taking some courses too, but the fact he spoke it fluently and without a noticeable accent.
“If any of you snitch, to Francis, I’ll have you skinned.” He said, holding his cup of tea that was mostly water.
“Depends how much money you are willing to pay me to keep it to my-” the Netherlands started before cursing as the Englishman swiped his vape out of his hands, even with the cup of scalding hot tea.
“Do you want it back?” England raised an eyebrow, holding the vape away from the Dutchman, making a vaguely threatening move with the cup that held boiling hot water.
“Fine.” the Dutchman glared, not wanting to deal with having to regenerate from third degree burns, and not wanting to go through the hassle of finding another vape in the French middle of nowhere.
Denmark made eye contact with Germany who just shook his head in amusement.
“Sometimes, I feel like I’m dealing with children,” the German joked, but looking exhausted.
“I get you dude, but like you’re the baby compared to us. I’m a millennium old, you learn not to take yourself too seriously after a while.”
Germany did not seem recomforted by what was supposed to be kind advice, Denmark bit his lip, “you’re doing amazing though! Who knows how wise you’ll be when you’re our age!”
That seemed to cheer him up, “Thank you, Denmark.”
“You can call me Matthias, you know! We’re supposed to be on a team building weekend!”
“Ah, yes, alright. I just thought most people prefer their nation names.”
“You do?” Denmark asked, raising an eyebrow.
Germany frowned, “No, perhaps you are right, you can call me by my human name as well,”
“Will do, thanks Ludwig!” the Dane said, beaming and Germany felt himself redden noticing for the first time how handsome the Danish man really was, especially with the sun that was starting to set.
Meanwhile England and the Netherlands had come back to both of them with a whole bunch of snacks.
“Germany, can we get these?” England asked, carefully.
“Do you need my permission to get snacks?” the German asked confused.
England turned to the Dutchman and whispered something to him in hushed tones.
The Dutchman shrugged, “We assumed that considering you forced us on this trip you would also be paying for…”
Germany’s face went through a myriad of emotions, but he settled on blank, walking back to his car and ignoring the rest of the Netherland’s sentence.
“You guys have no chill,” Denmark laughed, as he ran up to behind the German, slapping him on the back and grinning at him, rolling his eyes as he looked back to them and saying something that seemed to make the man smile again.
England seemed to be biting his lip, feeling bad and even the Netherlands seemed to frown, “Maybe we went a little too far?”
The Dutchman nodded. “It’s fine, I’ll offer to drive.”
“Do you even have your license?”
“I have been able to drive since the early 20th century,” he shrugged.
“That doesn’t answer my question.” England frowned, paying for all the snacks because he considered it was only fair.
The Dutchman just walked away with a sharp grin on his face, “if we don’t get caught this is not an issue,” he winked.
England was staring after the Dutchman with a strange feeling in his chest. He shook himself out of it, trailing behind with a sigh.
---
In the end the Netherlands managed to convince the tired German to sit in the back while he and England would make sure they got to their hotel safely.
They spent the time playing ‘’who is it?’ with each other to pass the time a little.
“Am I obnoxious?”
“Absolutely.”
“I am America.”
“Yes.”
“That was too easy.”
“True, I will make it harder... need to find something more complicated.”
This continued for a while when they noticed that the German was starting to nod off.
They put the music a bit softer.
Denmark was looking at the German, how his face was all relaxed, and how the gel in his hair was starting to weaken, letting some of the hairs fall down his face.
“I know in human age he’s only a couple years younger than us, and yet…” he said,
England nodded, “he’s a good lad though,”
Netherlands hummed in agreement from where he was focussing on the road ahead. There were not that many cars driving with them, it was close to midnight, and they would soon be arriving at their hotel.
“really handsome too,” Denmark mused without thinking, making the two men in the front of the car raise an eyebrow, staring at him through the rear-view mirror.
The Dane’s cheeks were turning a little red as he realised what he just said.
“Denmark, if your dick ruins this team building…” the Netherlands glared, not finishing his sentence.
“Hey, hey, what was it your sister said? ‘We would know things about each other no one knows.’ Maybe that included seeing him naked.”
“Dear god, man.” England pinched his nose.
“Oh come on, he’s not some innocent little thing like you two seem to think he is.” The Dane smirked, “just because he looks angelic when he sleeps doesn’t mean that’s all there is to him besides being a pedantic bureaucrat.”
Both nations at the front of the car frowned.
“I’m well aware of that considering most of us first really got to know him when he and his brother invaded half of Europe.” England remarked.
Denmark rolled his eyes, “Oh no I’m not referring to that.”
“What do you mean then?” the Netherlands asked, now curious.
“Kinky as hell and the stamina of a bull.” Denmark grinned, and the other two nations’ face grew hot.
“Ah, nice. Good for him.” England said, trying to keep the filthy thoughts at bay.
“Now I’m wondering if there is a nice part to his “consequences” if I don’t deliver my reports on time.” Netherlands snorted.
“Oh, damn,” Denmark grinned.
England, having accepted his fate, decided to gossip along, “It would explain why Italy, Spain and especially France are always so incredibly late.” he smiled, quirking an eyebrow.
“That would explain so much,” Denmark shook his head, “actually, one time I’m pretty sure I walked in on him and Italy making out, but because it was so dark, I might have imagined it.”
“Yeah, but who hasn’t walked in on Italy and someone else, he’s ridden more nations than horses.”
Netherlands laughed out loud, “Fucking, hell, Arthur!”
The Englishman grinned, proud of having gotten such a reaction out of the Dutchman and also enjoying the sound of his human name as said by the other.
“Wasn’t your sister dating Italy at some point?” Denmark asked.
“For a bit, yeah, was glad when it ended.” The Dutchman glared into the distance.
“Did he cheat?” England asked, feeling bad for Belgium.
“Nah, most of the time she treats men like toys, uses them for a few weeks or months and then gets tired of them.” the Netherlands shrugged.
England looked away, feeling his cheeks heat up. Remembering awkward courting in the 17th century, where she smiled oh so sweetly at him and they spend a wonderful few nights before she told him they couldn’t continue for reasons she did not want to bother him with.
“She communicates it well though, its not like she hurts our feelings.” Denmark says, looking out of the widow.
The sound of hands tightening on the wheel, “you dated my sister?”
“Hey, hey don’t be upset with me, she can make her own choices.” Denmark rolled his eyes at the Dutchman.
“True but still, I expected her to have better taste.” The Netherlands rolled his eyes, and England laughed at the Dane’s offended face.
“I’ll have you know I’m an amazing and attentive lover on absolutely all levels.” The Dane met the Dutchman’s eyes through the rear-view mirror, making a show of licking his lips before giving him a wink.
To his own surprise instead of glaring, the man’s eyes darkened, and he returned the grin.
Oh… well that is interesting, he thought to himself.
“Sure, Sure, Denmark,” we believe you, England nodded.
“You know I said it to Germany, well.. Ludwig, too, but you can both call me by my human name you know.” Denmark shrugged.
“Alright, you may both refer to me as Arthur, I guess.”
“Vincent, is fine.” The Netherlands just said.
“Ludwig, told me he doesn’t mind being referred to by his human name as well, so that the team building goes more smoothly.” Denmark informed them.
“Doesn’t surprise me.” England smiled, looking at the man whose body had now completely sagged against the seat behind him.
“Initially I didn’t like the idea of being forced on team building vacations with other nations, but I’ll admit it could have been worse,” the Brit smiled.
“Jeez, thanks, Arthur.” Denmark laughed and Netherlands snorted, adding a “I agree, I’ll take you both, over Spain and Austria,”
Denmark smirked, “Oooh, you’d rather take us both?” he repeated making it sound incredibly sexual.
“Oh god,” England groaned, rolling his eyes.
“That too, I guess,” Netherlands grinned back, making Denmark’s heart speed up.
England just laughed slightly, assuming the man was joking, it lessened when he noticed the look between the other two country’s eyes. Oh hell…
The moment was interrupted by Ludwig finally sliding down the seat, luckily Denmark noticed in time and moved to support the man.
He seemed to wake up a little, but Denmark just shushed and rubbed his back, “It’s alright man, just rest your head on my lap, you’re safe with me.”
“Danke,” the man mumbled gratefully, before falling sleeping again.
“Emma wished she could be here to witness that,” the Netherlands smiled, feeling strangely soft at the sight.
“Francis, as well,” England said, turning in his seat to commit the image of the German softly snoring into Denmark’s lap to memory.
“He’s nice like this,” Denmark smiled at the other two, “no shouting about forgotten reports, or needing more loans for southern Europeans.”
Denmark, gently moved his hand, petting the sleeping man.
“He’s not a dog, Matthias,” England rolled his eyes,
“But its close enough,” the Dane grinned, rubbing the man behind the ears and laughing when he snuggled deeper into his lap.
That’s how the four of them continued the last few minutes to the hotel in a comfortable and peaceful silence.
--- TBC...
I’m ending this chapter here to still submit a last thing for the poly ship week 2022... I’ll post the rest on AO3 at some point in the next few days!!! The murder aspect of this fic will be in next chapters too, unless you count the bodily harm as such lol. Nw though, I’m not killing off anyone.
