“Tell me,” Castiel growls, and licks the bite on Dean’s neck, tongue wide and hard and wet. Dean whimpers.
Tell me, Castiel has asked, but Dean thinks that Castiel knows. It is obvious in the way that Dean has spread himself out, naked, waiting for Castiel’s arrival. It is obvious in the way he writhes and whimpers when Castiel rolls his body against him. It is obvious from every other pleasure Dean described to him; it is obvious in every look Dean has ever cast in his direction.
He thinks that Castiel already knows. He thinks that this god is manifested as the god of everything Dean wants. Every move that he makes, every touch, is exactly as Dean would have imagined it in his wildest dreams. He could not be more perfect. Dean could not be more turned on. His cock could not be harder. Some gods control the tides or chase the sun across the sky or forge weapons in fiery chasms. But this god's nature is to know everything Dean wants, be everything Dean wants. To be lightning.
Dean thinks that Castiel already knows. But he wants to tell him, anyway. He wants to beg for it. Beg for it from his god.
He is taking too long to answer. Castiel fucks up against him again, hard, impatient, and he moans.
“Want you to fuck me, Angel.” He bites his lip. “Want you to fuck me until I can't breathe.”
“Yes, hero,” Castiel replies, and sinks his hand deeper into the hand print on Dean's shoulder. Dean screams when a wave of fire rips through him. “If that is what you want.”
Dean is crying already. It hasn't even started, really, and Dean is crying, and screaming, and begging already.
His body is going to be destroyed, he realizes. It makes him feel alive.
Que pena morir en primavera con tanta vida creciendo las flores de los árboles brotan a ritmos feroces el sabor de las fresas es un poco más dulce y no existe lana que pique por los brazos de la gente la piel se deja ver lo justo para provocar sed y la sangre es un huracán cuesta de parar lo que se levanta y se moja entre las piernas en primavera los disparos ahuyentan más pájaros razón para apuntarte uno en la cabeza provocando el mayor silencio agónico y triste en un piso donde no hay ya más nadie pasarán los días y la sangre habrá parado comerán gusanos tus pensamientos te encontrarán de madrugada a medio hacer o medio comer con plantas enredaderas entre los pies qué pena morir en primavera y aún así la vida se despide de ti.
Patterns and Parallels: a scene-based comparison of the Tom/Trixie and Tom/Barbara courtship narratives.
Because I can, and because it just struck me the that the major beats are the same. Also inspired by @like-an-officer-and-a-sergeant, who reminded me of my late academic failures in fan’ning.
A few stray thoughts that are more global:
Trixie/Tom tend to be framed facing one another, while Tom/Barbara are framed side by side. This season particularly, Trixie has been in red (lust, fire, energy) or her usual subtle patterns. Barbara is more associated with blue, (calm, water/sky) and multi-colour bold patterns. Trixie turns up at Tom’s door looking for him. Tom turns up at Nonnatus looking for Barbara. (Ignore picking Trixie up for date 1 because that was pre-planned.)
1) Can you assist me in this thing I already have covered? - within the context Tom’s already got it covered with one of the Turners, but seeks specific assistance (during dinner) within the context of of a lowkey established relationship, with overtones of wanting to spend time with the woman.
Trixie: Dr. Turner is already tapped to lead the Men’s Group meeting on Women’s Issues. This beat comes after their second, successful date, and thus thus the first point of equilibrium in a rather rocky relationship that had romantic overtones from the start.
Barbara: Mrs. Turner is already tapped to run the crucial choir aspect of the BBC-filmed Church thing. While this was the first beat shown of the Tom/Barbara dynamic, the fact that she wasn’t present at the meal helps negate surprise and emphasises the established reality that they’d developed something of a friendship working side by side in Church affairs.
Of particular interest is the use of space. The Men’s Group loses the community center to the choir reservation, and settles in Nonnatus: Trixie’s domain. The BBC thing is settled in the Church, which is Tom’s domain. This mirrors the patterns of Trixie’s dominance within the relationship and Tom’s insecurities and communication failures in her presence, compared to the relative ease of the Tom/Barbara dynamic, which does not call into question his competence/career.
Shelagh is also a point of interest. The former context involves her soliciting Tom’s advice on song choice, and later she and Timothy go to get Angela, dropping choir leadership into Tom and Trixie’s hands, prompting what is presumably their first kiss. In the latter, we have a business-Shelagh, clearly in charge from stem to stern and resulting in the lovely moment where Barbara steps out to place Joy in the cradle as Tom oversees, which is arguably intended as a similar advancement in his interest.
2) Let’s take a bus ride with a bunch of kids-
Trixie - Intended as a date, they are the only two chaperones to a group of boys. The sick child results in Trixie cleaning up vomit, and Tom voiding her wish to return to Poplar. Tom attempts to mend the broken bus, ultimately he listens to the cricket scores with the boys as Trixie treks over to the phone booth.
Barbara - Always intended as child-based outing, Fred and Patsy (+driver?) are technically present, both boys and girls onboard. The sick child merely needs a cuddle from Barbara, Tom later takes on the roughest duty by carrying the child home. Tom’s main action is offering around lollies, which he indulges in alongside Barbara, claiming he is unfamiliar with them (inverse to Trixie as unfamiliar with cricket.)
Quick note on undressing: in the former case Tom strips to a wifebeater, while in the latter he merely sheds his coat. This mirrors the context of sexualization versus chaste (chivalry) within the two dynamics. Further emphasized by contrast of civvies and Curate uniform, related to his his relative states of ease (itself further indicated by him being a spazzy awkward child in the former case.)
There’s also a contrast of isolation. We pick up Tom and Trixie exiting the bus after having deposited the children. Despite seated side by side, the bus construction means there’s separation of glass between them, and Trixie must walk through to the back to exit. Tom has regained his adulthood, and is ultimately left watching a somewhat horrified Trixie depart. Tom and Barbara exist the bus together, surrounded by children and parents. They part on good terms, Barbara looking after Tom, who is in control of the situation.
There’s some random stuff: Tom’s pet dilapidated bus versus shiny professional one, unplanned versus planned group outing, a day that’s merely Trixie’s day off versus recognized Holiday-type thing, Barbara involved with Girl’s Group versus Trixie roped into the chaperone role. But it’s all sort of the same inverted pattern of unease versus ease, civilian versus Church, etc.
3. Can you help me run this event I’m in Trouble
Trixie - Rose Queen was sprung upon Tom, he asks Trixie to take it on in a manner giving her every opportunity to say no. She takes it on, solicits aid from other midwives. Tom doesn’t do much until engaging with the kids at the end. Tom drops off banner stands, but doesn’t thread them, instead absconding to the kitchen with Trixie.
Barbara - He left the Easter Hats to last minute, literally uses “be a sport” in his argument laying gentle pressure for Barbara to do it. Apart from those mysterious donkey ears, no one else seems involved. Tom makes antennae for one kid, parallelling Barbara working on a special hat for his sibling in different location.
We see the same themes arise. In the former he’s both underestimating Trixie and overly presumptive, their relationship necessitated unequal as he he really offers no input. In the latter he and Barbara literally put on the “hat” of the occasion, sharing duties and motivations in an equal way. The former event is the crowning of a Queen, the former Queen being pregnant, which is a lightly sexualized role and notably children do not attend. The latter involves for-fun winners (including the siblings, as if T/B are manipulating their success compared to T/T’s undirectedness?), mostly children. It’s all about objectification versus equality, the focus on one (romantic prospect) over focus on duty and servitude.
Overt differences falling out from the former being established romantic. But useful stuff: in each we get a scene beginning as private for the pairing, then including the third. In the former, Tom whispers “I’m in love with you,” barely acknowledges Barbara, exists a little awkwardly, presumably with context of audience to his relationship. In the latter, Tom praises Barbara, mostly focuses anywhere but Trixie when she arrives, and looks as uncomfortable as he ever has. As well, in the former Barbara was sitting there from the start, it was his choice, as throughout the episode, to focus soley on Trixie. In the latter, Trixie sort of springs herself into the situation.
4) As the woman fights a good fight - This is speculative, but I think next week’s storyline for Barbara is meant to parallel Trixie’s speech on intolerance at the end of the Rose Queen episode.
Trixie - intends to keep mum to please and support Tom. See’s struggle, personal insight from Patsy, says screw it. In dress, shames Poplar’s active “society” women in civilized environment. Tom reinforces her words, pulled from the Bible she isn’t much for. He gives no outward approval, position of chair is defensive, next we see he shows no faith in her ability to act as Vicar’s wife and is actively keeping her separate from Bishop and wants her silent.
Barbara - Unclear why she’s moved to act, likely charitable. Bonds with patient’s struggle, in Midwife “armour” tries to shame foreman (who frankly is doing his damn job fairly...) in a rough and tumble environment filled with men. Tom thinks she’s awesome, next week he’ll ask her out.
So I find this really triggering, it’s hard not to get salty and this next bit lacks particular attempt at objectivity. But without minimizing Barbara’s actions, she’s given the appearance of bravery (setting, gender of opponents, economic rather than social objection) when she’s in no physical danger, which is what is implied. (Actually, compare this scene to Trixie on the Ship... *sighs*) Her actions are intended to, and likely will, effect only one family, in a material way, she is not fighting an unfair system. I presume the Foreman will be Proved Wrong as Lazy Worker suffers from medical condition/horrid conditions, but that’s backwards narrative justification (which I loathe, omg) undermining the legitimacy of the man Barbara is “battling against.”
Trixie, however, is risking social censure and Tom’s disapproval, which is a problem since her stated goal is to act as a Vicar’s wife and thus a moral leader within a religious context. Moreover, she’s literally imposing her will (mandating Old Rose Queen attend) and positioning herself in moral territory over something illegal (Peter and Fred getting to avoid moral opinion by resting on The Law to exile er, Tony?) She’s fighting the system. She is directly supporting one family, but within the context of (trying to) establish tolerance. She’s aided but us knowing she’s right, but really that just means reception overlooks the risks the character takes within the context and storyline, takes it for granted and doesn’t see her “fighting” at all.
