#neffy vent

[wormsforeyes]

Hey chat why would someone lean on you like for 1.5 hours when you’re sad, presumably to comfort you but then not want anything to do with you when you’re not around? Seemingly?

Asking for a friend

[wormsforeyes]

My crush said he thinks “I think about myself too much” and I said “you make me sound like a narcissist” and he didn’t reply and I said “you didn’t correct me” and he said “Jesus Christ” and now I’m sitting here quietly trying not to cry feeling like a pussy lmao

I’m 26 and he’s 21 btw so things are going great for me where I’m feeling extremely immature and pathetic

[wormsforeyes]

I have moments of clarity where I understand I’m the problem and if I had the correct medicating (and probably therapy) I would probably be the person people loved again like how I was in high school where even if they thought I was weird I was still *nice*, and now I’m not even that, I’m just bad weird, I come off sick and ugly and strange, and probably frightening at the wrong times, and I just feel bad for anybody who comes in contact with me

[wormsforeyes]

I'm really bad at this whole cvtting thing. Too scared to cut deep so I just have a bunch of shallow cat scratches on my thighs and I don't hide them well lmao I'm such a fucking disaster

[wormsforeyes]

Tried expressing some feelings to a dumb idiot and he read the message then didn't reply lmfao

I hate my stupid tranny life

[wormsforeyes]

I want him to see how much he hurts me but I think what hurts even worse is that he literally won't even care. God I have a massive headache

[wormsforeyes]

Sometimes I wonder if I might have borderline but I've never been diagnosed so I just don't know.

Then again how can you properly diagnose someone who is lying to you to save face 🤪

I keep telling myself if I get another therapist I have to tell the truth this time. when I see my doctor this week I'll just have to lay all my cards out on the table