there are 🪱 in my eyes

TW: DEPRESSION. DISCUSSION OF SELF HARM. GENERAL ANGUISH. 🔪🩸🍧 please proceed with caution. 🍀🧠🐛 nef • 27 • infp-t • any pronouns • agender • polyamorous • acespec • eng/esp sick with sadness. feels things too hard. cries too much. existentialist vs. nihilist is the war in my head. medium tolerance for pain. i talk here when im empty and reblog things I like. sometimes i post art and poetry.

[wormsforeyes]

Hey, I'm Nef. 🪱

I made this account so that when I need to get out my thoughts and feelings and discomforts I wouldn't feel like I was completely alone in doing so.

Here's some necessary info;

- I do NOT post/repost photos of real self harm. I don't "like" photos of self harm. I DO NOT want to encourage others to self harm.

- I DO post ramblings and art about my own struggle with self harm, including cvtting, on this account.

- I struggle with suicidal ideation. I will absolutely NEVER encourage someone else to attempt or like a post that implies an effort to attempt.

- This is simply a place for me to share my pain without judgement. If you relate, I'm so, so sorry. If you don't, I am genuinely so happy to hear that. Either way if you stay, please proceed with the above (and below) things in mind.

- This blog is therian, cluster B, and proship friendly.

DNI/DNF:

- MAPs, nazis, bigots... IDF supporters. (Free 🇵🇸)

- Minors, you may interact– I would just rather you not follow or interact heavily as I don't want to encourage any of my adult or self-destructive behaviors. I don't want to be friends with anybody under 18.

You should know:

- I struggle with alcohol addiction, cvtting, addiction in general, CPTSD and PTSD, and sexual trauma. I post about these things sometimes.

- I have depression, ADHD, anxiety, and Tourette's, and BPD.

- I am considered a proshipper, I post about s e l f h a r m, and I explore horror and discomfort in art and fiction. This may include depictions of underage, noncon, gore, and other topics that may be considered problematic. Much of it is related to my own trauma, and even if it wasn't, it's my business. However, I completely understand if it is an issue for you; I would urge you to block me.

Thanks for reading. I do hope you have a wonderful day. You deserve it! 🍀🐛

[wormsforeyes]

Wanted to cvt so bad today. I didn't do it. I'm proud of myself but I also really wanted to so I'm a little disappointed.

[guineamouse]

🧍

[hairbrushed]

da cover of my upcoming eyeshadow palette :) i love girls!

[wormsforeyes]

I hope everyone is doing okay

I've been alright, haven't cvt in almost a month

Trying to behave

How is everyone doing? 💕

[wormsforeyes]

I want to cvt but I have to sit here on the couch and rot and look cute instead grreaghhhhhhhh

[wormsforeyes]

My ex fp fucking hates me bro I don't even know if I care or not anymore.

[jacocoon]

lyrics: toxic - Britney Spears

[mik-kart]

I saw some genderbend art of Eric, so I drew an au where Eric is a girl- I made it Kyman too.

[what-we-wish-you-knew]

About self harm and depression:

I wish people knew it wasn't a choice. It's not always a choice to stay this way. I am addicted to self harm. I am addicted to the feeling and the rush. I am addicted to the way it looks on my skin. I am disgusted by my addiction but it is chemical. I cannot help it.

I wish people knew that I didn't want to be depressed. I want friends. I'm not "wallowing in self pity", I don't feel like I have a choice. I want to die. I think about ways I can do it. It's not something I can control. It's something that needs to be treated and unlearned. It's a work in progress. It isn't "bad days and good days". It's ALWAYS creeping behind me. It's always beneath the surface. They don't seem to know that's what it is.

Thank you for asking about us. Sometimes this gets really lonely. I appreciate you.

.

[wormsforeyes]

My new therapist taught me that I have combined persistent depressive disorder/major depressive disorder if this helps add context.

[apple-pretzelchan]

Last chapter of my amnesia kyman fic + bonus cover for the ending to match with the original one <3

>Link<

I've been living and breathing this work since last September and it feels so strange to finally post the last bit of it. Thank you to everyone who stayed on this journey with me <3

[animentality]

[crystallizedtwilight]

Local goth says world ok actually

[wormsforeyes]

Getting over my old crush I think. The more I think about him the more I think he's just a guy and he's also kind of an asshole. I'm so relieved this moment can come. Please come faster though 🙏🏼

[pienni]

can my parents stop headcanoning me with something not accurate to the canon lore

[rejected3]

Inktober day 20 RIVALS

[sexmortem]

Temptation