#negative 99

[kuriboo]

nothing’s helping either, that’s great

man i’m incompetent and useless as fuck and i love feeling that way

that was sarcasm by the way

i hate it

i fucking hate it

i fucking hat everything

glad we had this talk

[kuriboo]

i’m off the habit of taking my anti depressants and i clearly need to get back into it

i don’t even have a reason to be depressed

i haven’t done anytihng there is no reason to be upset i don’t even know why i’m crying why am i like this

this isn’t justified

nothing’s even happened

m fucking awful man

i was doing so well but i guess i can’t stop from fucking it up lol huh. gotta ruin the good times. can’t enjoy a fucking break

stop crying you ass

[ozala]

my math teacher takes requests when she plays music during class and I put bye by starry cat thinking it wouldnt get picked and she picked it and everyone hated the song and looked at me >_>

[astronautbrain]

i totally fucking expected them to do this. but of course, bleeding hearts in here said "maybe they've changed!"

people like that don't change without a loud announcement. if you all would just listen to me....

... but i suppose then you'd trust no one, so i can't really talk. 

[ghxsttype]

hi i feel like shit

[astronautbrain]

anyway, i'm really good at working myself up tonight, as always. whenever there's drama on my dash i obsessively read it. i don't even know the people involved really - i mean, i follow them but we've never talked, but i read it because i feel compelled to?? i dont know why i do this to myself, it makes me upset and uncomfy to see people fight, but i can't stop reading it and watching it unless someone else fronts & tells me not to & i haven't made myself upset enough yet for anyone to force me out. i'll be going to bed soon anyway so there's no reason to, i guess

[astronautbrain]

my therapist (i say mine because i'm the one really doing the sessions, explaining plurality is hard) asked me to practice feeling things without analyzing them, but that's so hard. if i dont analyze i won't know what to do. i might miss an important fact about my emotions, or look ignorant of my personality... 

what would Mama say? i'm supposed to be gathering information for her. i'm here on earth to do that. i'm already so bad at judging other people, i should at least give her this bit of information, what i learned about my psyche... what i learned about me.... i should do more research on things, anything, something i can give to her

[astronautbrain]

i'm the most annoying of the whole system to be honest. i whine too much and i'm anxious about everything and overthink constantly but i can't not be around because nico's not around enough to support this fleshbag and marbel isn't suited to constant fronting. so i'm the workhorse. whatever, i'm going to sort fanart, my angst isn't useful either