#negative rambles

[negativeaperture]

I completely forgot to mention, but I commissioned the amazing @pearlecsent for a portrait of Nana. I’ll mention it in the next chapter update, but I absolutely adore how it came out!

[liyisok]

Just leave me alone. I can't ever be happy with myself.

Why couldn't you let me be happy?

God is dead and you're proof of it.

God would've loved you if you weren't a piece of shit towards me.

I'm not special.

[negativeaperture]

me: currently has three fics that i need to work on, two of which haven’t been updated in a month, as well as my own original novel

also me: hey wouldn’t it be cool if i started yet another wip?

(i have a different ao3 account which is. my main? i made negativeaperture bc i was embarrassed about writing an SI/OC ajfhd if any of yall like homestuck, hollow knight, or tf2, feel free to ask for my username)

[negativeaperture]

Now I really want to write a FMA:B fic with Nana in it... After exams, Negative, after exams. I already have several WIPs written down for my other Ao3 account, so best to shelve this one to the drafts for now.

[negativeaperture]

Regarding the next chapter

I gotta say, I am so excited to finish it up and post it. I have plans. PLANS I tell you. I’ll try to go through some different perspectives and show what’s happening outside of Nana’s view. I’ve been replying to comments since they make me go wild everytime I get one (thank you all so much), and I can’t wait to show your guys the next chapter!

Feel free to message/ask me stuff!

[negativeaperture]

YO HOLY SHIT I JUST REACHED 600 KUDOS ON ISJ

I fucking love you all thank you so so much!!! As always, ask box is open any time!!

[negativeaperture]

Fireplace, kitsch, and teddybears for the meme?

Fireplace: Hmmmm that’s a good question! If anything, I’d probably say now, my current age! I’m in a really good place after a long time of struggling, and I think I can comfortably say that I’m happy with where I am right now!

Kitsch: Ohooo my favourites have to be The Hobbit, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and Wyrd Sisters! I’ve read so many things over the years that I can’t quite remember them all, but those three are the ones I’ll always love!

Teddybears: Spring and autumn! I like it when it’s still just slightly chilly outside, but the sun is shining and warm! I’m awful with heat, and those times of the year are the best for me! Plus I can wear both skirts, dresses, jumpers and trousers without bundling up or overheating!

Thanks so much for sending in an ask!

[shidcn-blog]

[[Okay before I start on my drafts I need to get this out. It’s negative tho, so I’m putting it under a read more. Nothing bad towards anyone, I merely wish to explain my current mindset and why I haven’t been posting much or only posting art.]]

Basically, as of these past few days, my moods have been low and my anxiety has been high. I don’t know why and I certainly don’t like it. It may have something to do with my continued sleep problems (anyone who follows me on my One Piece blogs or on Porom or Freya likely know I suffer from this). It has been sapping my motivation and making me think things that are very likely untrue. 

Lately, I even left a group chat on Skype full of people I absolutely adore because my mind was telling me I was only annoying them and it would be better for me to leave. Even on here I’ve often just been watching the dash, seeing memes I could send to people but then just thinking “No, don’t” or thinking “Do people even want to write with me?” When small starter calls are posted but there are no likes even though I know full well that people are likely not even online (damn time zones) or it has something to do with the fact I only have 30 followers. 

This blog is only a week old. I know it’ll pick up sooner or later, I know I’ll have this guy with more relationships (be it grudging or welcomed). I guess it’s just hard playing a muse from a game where there are no other blogs with muses from the same game... Other Final Fantasy blogs sure, but none from Brave Exvius.