Often in media, I see people frowning upon paradigms of open and long-distance relationships, taking the stance of offended, bitter cynics; open-relationships, people believe, are selfish attempts to have all the benefits of a relationship with none of the responsibility of a "legitimate, dedicated monogymous relationship". Usually, society will blame an individual and claim that they are being "unfaithful", "irresponsible", and they antagonize individuals that honestly want an honest relationship, albeit one that is not entirely exclusive. Mainstream attitude in society can accept that an individual can maintain good, healthy relationships with many friends, so why is it so wrong when the relationship isn't as platonic? Sure, open-relationships and long-distance relationships provide their challenges, but from those challenges, useful experience is often gained from all parties and ultimately benefit them. One can still be satisfied emotionally. Maintaining a relationship without having close physical contact seems unbearable; most are unpleased with this idea because, as humans, relationships seem justified and "worth it" when there are obvious physical effects; we want to believe only in what we see, often undermining the emotional and complex side of relationships. Since the physical aspect is no longer as present, the other positive aspects of the relationship must compensate, forcing more responsibility on the parties involved. Individuals in these types of relationships choose to be in them for a reason. They want to maximize relationship and life experience as well as grow emotionally while still sustaining a dedicated relationship to someone; people of good will mean no harm in this, and often just want the best for those they love, however difficult it is to sustain a relationship with a loved one in this way. All relationships are different; each individual has their own life and circumstances. One does not fit all. The polygamic relationship is often romanticized and unrealistic. Some would say it's downright unsustainable. Humans like feeling like they are someone's main priority; we like attention and our ego feels justified through this powerful relationship. Through notions, often one exaggerates their emotions and usually misjudge them completely. Thus, a relationship becomes more of an self-sustainable ego-booster filled with infatuation and routine than a REAL relationship, and often, we want "more". When they get "more", it is not uncommon for us to be shocked at the reality of what "more" entails. Had we grown more and opened our minds, we could have progressed emotionally, but we closed themselves off to development. One need only look at the rising divorce rates to see how weak these "relationships" that give the illusion of working really are. I am not here to demonize any relationship paradigm. Different things work for different people, and monogamy, is certainly just as understandable and respectable as, say, polygamy or long-distance relationships. All relationships require time, effort, balance, and genuine care in order to be sustainable. People in open-relationships and/or long-distance relationships work just as hard and love just as much, if not more. Hogging love and denying emotional development seems inane, and wanting all the attention certainly seems a bit narcissistic, don't you think? Getting bitter and jealous certainly seems childish. People in non-monogymous relationships often are more responsible, more mature, and more realistic, and they have to deal with negative emotions better, as they can become victims of negativity, judgement and cynicism easier, seeing as they are subjected to it by society. Often, one will internalize these feelings to dangerous levels, killing off relationships that could have worked out. Our world is becoming more open and interconnected; why shouldn't our romantic lives, too? No matter what your stance, relationships are relationships, and love is love. We all make our sacrifices. We all have our own lives. People in non-monogymous &/or long/distance relationships often make more sacrifices, harder ones that many can't or won't make. So I find it hard to believe that our society is so cynical about other people's open-relationships &/or long-distance relationships, especially when their own relationships aren't perfect, either. We want acceptance and support, not harsh ostracizing, judgemental attitudes from the media and from mainstream population. At the very least, we ask just to be left alone and no longer be targets of your cynicism and judgement; let us sink or swim on our own.
