#negativen

[yourwaytosucces]

8 Tipps um dein Kopf auf Erfolg zu programmieren!

Denke bei jeder Handlung nach, was für eine Auswirkung es auf deine Zukunft hat

Lerne dich von negativen Gedanken zu entfernen

Jeder Fehler analysieren und sich fragen was man daraus gelernt hat

Verbildliche dir jeden Tag deine Stärken

Lerne mit Meinungen und Kritik umzugehen

Grundlegende Dinge von erfolgreichen aneignen

Sei erfolgsorientiert

Merke dir keiner ist Perfekt

 - yourwaytosucces

[solarstrom-simon]

Werbung unbezahlt, Trend Anzahl der Tage mit #Negativen #Strompreisen steigen Nachteil für #KWK #Bhkw #Anlagenbetreiber Ausschuss der Vergütung Ursache #Windkraft Anlagen und das #Energienetz ist zu Unfexibel durch die Kohlekraftwerke Forderung nach mehr Stromspeicher #Quelle #Markus #Gaifuss https://www.bhkw-infozentrum.de/wirtschaftlichkeit-bhkw-kwk/negative-strompreise-fakten-und-statistiken.html?fbclid=IwAR22fH-Ryorw4OagD4EiAmDPEow6CHIRjMzsTHcg1Q8OztSJE7fajhHTEzI https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv2MOcVAPJW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=zf7g5cty1s3i

[futurnews]

[peachjaye]

aaaaa life is. not really worth it methinks

[peachjaye]

i wish i could go back to being so annoyingly proud and openly trans with people even to the point where i’d annoy people, even close friends? (they’d never act overly annoyed but i know that they were lmao it only made me feel better abt myself) and now im just?? not??? i haaaaate not being proud of my identity it honestly is the main reason why id just off myself lmao 

[peachjaye]

when u dont feel appreciated by ur friends but ur a sack of shit so you’re not gonna talk to them abt it 

[peachjaye]

it actually feels so goddamn frustrating to live like this???? honestly i kind of want to go home just so i can bottle all this shit up 

it’s been just over two years since i came out, and compared to now things weren’t as bad after when i first did. my mum initially told me i was a freak, i was sick, that she’d kill herself because of me, and that i could never be loved if i was ‘a bloke’ and stuff like that

but after that nothing really changed, it happened and no one mentioned it again, and although at the end of that year i was emotionally manipulated and had my heart broken by my now ex-boyfriend it was starting to get a bit better, even if it was just a little bit.

although this time last year i knew i’d be spending new years alone, with my family, and going through snapchat and seeing all my friends with their friends and having fun, being told about my friends plans for the following year, and realising i wasnt in a very good place, but whenever i tried to talk about it i’d sound bitter and rude and i didnt want to sound like that.

and at the start of this year, although things were rather rough and i didn’t do as well in my gcse’s as i wanted to, it started to turn around. sure, there were difficult things like prom and my birthday, but i started to get more confidence, in myself and my identity and that one day i could leave my desperate situation and be happy, i could find someone who loves me and wants me to be happy.

but in the last few months i’ve just. crumbled, so bad. it’s all my own fault, really, i’ve not been careful enough, i’ve gotten too comfortable and ruined things for myself. 

and now im just. im constantly bitter and jealous, and i hate it, im turning out to be a horrible, horrible person.

im jealous of all my friends, not in a way that i’d want to stop them from being happy, because i don’t. i love my friends immensely and i’d do absolutely anything for them. but when i see everyone going out with their friends loads and doing things, and having little friendship groups where things get sorted out if something bad happens. im going to be spending another new year’s alone, because this time my friend is ditching me for her boyfriend, even though she knows im dreading just being with my parents, so i wont have to be told that this year will ‘be better’, because i wont be a disgusting freak anymore

and im jealous of every trans person around me, who is supported by their families, and their friends, who is older and legal and can do whatever they want with their appearance anyway. im jealous when they feel good about themselves, and i dont. i absolutely hate myself, and hate being trans now. i think it’s like a disgusting disease that i wish i could be cured of, because then maybe people would care about me more, maybe my life would mean a lot more. 

i just dont feel happy anymore, i dont feel proud in myself, or who i am, i dont have confidence in myself or that my friends care about me in any way, the last bit of hope has been sucked out of me by my mother because she insists there’s a ‘right way’ for me to be.

i don’t want 2017 to be here, i don’t want 2018 to be here. i don’t want to be here. i dont want to in a world where nothing works for me, nothing gets better. because it doesnt, it doesn’t get better. and it wont get better, it’ll only get better if i subject myself to another year and a half of emotional and mental abuse, and i dont want to put up with that. and i wont if i dont have to.

[peachjaye]

my mum: are u ignoring me?

me, suicidal and depressed bc of my mother: no not at all :)